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Very Underwhelming. Too PC for its own good.
24 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Seven is the magic number. A "seven" rating for a somewhat underwhelming movie. The gun fights were well executed and the cast as good as advertised. It's the story that lagged. The team assembling so quickly and their rationales for doing so are near nonsensical and shallow. Also, PC Hollywood rearing its head was noticeable and irritating. Casting the lead as a black man was absolutely fine (especially given a superb talent like Denzel Washington) and actually added to the narrative but adding an Indian, Asian and Mexican to the team for good measure seemed tacked on and forced to a silly degree. Making sure ALL the white men suffer a bad fate before the end of the movie adds to the "white man guilt" Hollywood is so keen on promoting nowadays.

At the end of the day, the movie is mostly unremarkable save for some intense gun battle scenes.
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Suicide Squad (2016)
Just when you thought the DC movieverse couldn't sink any lower... As Bad As Any Movie I've Seen
3 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Just when you thought the DC movieverse couldn't sink any lower, here comes its dumbest movie yet.

Suicide Squad is a film of fits and starts, and way too many flashbacks that kill all narrative momentum just whenever its attempting to come together, underscoring just how ramshackle its editing is. Imagine if you will, the team is about to go face the big bad, and then suddenly, for reasons that are only marginally clear, they all opt to go to the bar instead. In a way, I can see how that might work, given that this is a crew of bad guys; but the scene is so gracelessly plunked in the middle of the third act that I thought perhaps I was having a fever dream, a 15 minute interminable fever dream that ALSO finds the time to include a flashback! Or better yet, there's a moment where the film decides to display what I assume is supposed to be a twist of some kind, or at least it felt that way based on how the scene is written, but it simply flashes back to an earlier moment in the movie that was already explicitly shown to the audience! You can't make this stuff up!

There are also quite a few elements in Ayer's script that come across fairly uncomfortably. There are far too many references to hitting women than are necessary, and of course Harley is on display throughout, with Ayer's camera ogling her body at every instance it can. I know many found Lois' bathtub scene in Batman v Superman to be problematic, but this is a bit beyond the pale in terms of objectifying content. Then there is Enchantress, who is displayed in what is best described as a "Slave Leia bikini" and the costume you've seen in promo material is actually the more covered up outfit. As she gains power, she somehow loses more clothing!

Between the questionable decisions, and an overstuffed, convoluted structure, is there anything to recommend about Suicide Squad? If so, it begins and ends with Smith, Robbie, and Davis. Smith as Deadshot gets every possible opportunity to display just why he was/is considered one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. His Deadshot is both capable, charming, and is easily the funniest part of the film. It's been reported that some of his dialogue was improvised and given how much uproariously more hilarious his lines were than some of his more stilted "this is funny, right?" counterparts were, I can believe it. Additionally, Robbie is about as perfect a Harley Quinn as you'll find, with just the right amount of irreverence and loopiness, and utilizing her same New York accent that she employed in The Wolf of Wall Street, but finding just enough Arleen Sorken there to make it all her own. She's terrific, as is Viola Davis, who, to put it bluntly, IS Amanda Waller, carrying the exact kind of steely-eyed terrifying, take no bullshit demeanor that you'd come to expect from the character. You couldn't do any better than these three standouts, and even Jai Courtney makes for a pretty strong Digger Harkness (words I NEVER thought I'd say), but the plodding and utterly mindless goings on of the plot fail them completely as the running time rolls on.

You'll notice I haven't even made mention of Jared Leto's much discussed grilled and tattooed Joker. I haven't forgotten him, he just barely makes a blip here and probably has about a grand total of 10 minutes of screen time. He's not bad, especially in small doses where his rather over the top shtick would likely begin to grate, but he's also just another distraction that could be plucked from the film entirely and not much would be lost. We'd certainly get less distracting flashbacks that way, but as negatives go on this one, Leto doesn't even crack the top ten (El Diablo and Killer Croc are far more awful, and Croc looks like crap). And surprisingly, the Harley-Joker relationship, though given some confounding backstory for the uninitiated, at least seems somewhat genuine and not so one- sided for once.

As bad as any movie released in 2016.
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a bad convoluted mess that's caught in no man's land.
23 March 2016
Comparing it to no other film, on its own "merits" BvS is just awful. It's poorly written and cheesy with the worst villains since Batman & Robin or Punisher War Zone. Besides delivering shallow supporting characters, they managed to make Superman a complete douchebag and Batman/Bruce Wayne a dull one note cliché. THAT is why true fans should be angry and shouldn't be rushing to defend a terrible movie just because it features characters they liked before they saw what hit the screen.

This offers nothing new in any way, shape or form. It's a convoluted mess that's caught in no man's land. It actually takes itself too seriously yet offers ridiculous action (ridiculous as in dumb, not as in wild or fun) and even more ridiculous characters. It wants to be taken seriously but functions in bizarre surroundings with a foolish plot. Good movies work because they evolve characters, tell a smart story and ground a concept but still deliver the action. This movie tries to take a similar approach but it simply can't stand on its own as a film. Does silly, wild but dumb appeal to even the youngest crowds? Maybe it does but the rest of us want way more in our summer movies.
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a convoluted mess that's joyless and flat out dumb
26 June 2013
White House Down offers very little that's new or interesting. It's a convoluted mess that's caught in no man's land. It takes itself far too seriously yet offers ridiculous action (ridiculous as in dumb, not as in wild or fun) and even more ridiculous characters. It wants to be taken seriously but functions in bizarre surroundings with a foolish plot. A calamity of underdeveloped ideas, half the film is flat out brain damaged and the other half is pure schlock. Do yourself a favor and avoid this dumb and actually boring farce.

This movie simply can't stand on its own as a film. Does often joyless, dark and dumb appeal to even the popcorn crowds? The rest of us want way more in our summer movies.
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Man of Steel (2013)
What a terrible film. The WB needs To STOP making comic book movies.
14 June 2013
The first hour is a meandering, repetitive mess but at least it was interesting to a point. Its only redeeming quality is the fact that Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner are great actors in any setting. Too bad even that can't save this movie. The second half of this movie plays out like a moody and idiotic video game. The changes they made to cannon are annoying but not half as annoying as the terrible story they tried to hammer home as better than the Superman mythos we already know. Is that arrogance to think they knew better or stupidity? Either way, this is just a bad movie experience, period.

Sometimes updates on old stories work out wonderfully. Batman Begins and Incredible Hulk, for example, got a lot of things right and are great examples. They help make the reboot idea a good one. Sometimes they're a train wreck, however, and Man of Steel is a sad example of that. This movie may have more action than the awful Superman Returns but it actually gets more wrong than right. It does rehash old Superman glory. It forges its own path but that path is so far down the wrong road that maybe another rehash wouldn't have been so bad after all. Trying so hard to go in a different direction, they really did crash and burn. Word of mouth is going to be awful from the non-fanboys. Overall, I have to say there're some fine performances here but little else to make this movie worth watching.
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Green Lantern (2011)
One Huge Misfire That Falls Below Turgid Mediocrity
20 June 2011
Green Lantern is little more than a badly written Tinkerbell movie--a story about a Chosen One who succeeds, finally, because he believes in himself and uses his "green energy of will" to defeat a cloud of feces using its "yellow energy of fear." Unfortunately, the audience never can believe in this character. What sinks the picture is that it lacks all sense of wonder and never emotionally connects with us. A pure video game movie if their ever was one but it's a video game without the fun. Even some movies adapted from video games themselves have more depth than this effort. Seriously.

This movie is yet another victim of the spend more and think less way to make movies. It can join The Clash of the Titans franchise at the bottom of the all CGI intellectual think tank. You couldn't pay me enough to see it twice. I have to ask, who does this appeal to? With more CG scenery than sanity, not even a hundred guardians, aliens or lanterns give the audience the nourishment that comes from a credible story, or at least a story that's believable on its own terms. It's a big jumbled ball of Computer Generated boredom. This movie has to be considered one huge misfire. It will be forgotten by August. It's actually fitting for a movie with a poor plot and an incredibly shallow story.

The dialogue is stiffly Shatnerian. Word of mouth will savage it. That's the word of non-fanboys and comic book lovers who would praise this thing no matter what. If you can manage not to fall asleep during it's brief but surprisingly dull runningtime, the movie itself reaches the level of below turgid mediocrity that DC's last effort, Jonah Hex reached. About the only thing one can be thankful for is that Jar Jar Binks isn't one of these crazy alien Lanterns. A sad endeavor to say the least so, Don't waste your money here.
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A superb slick and intelligent film!
22 March 2011
Best film that I've seen so far this year, by far.

Matthew McConaughney really should take more lawyer roles because this may very well be the best character he's ever played and the best work that he's ever done, topping A Time To Kill and I enjoyed that movie very much. This is a slick and an intelligent film that is engrossing and keeps you guessing all the way through.

He portrays Mickey Haller a Los Angeles criminal defense attorney who operates out of the back of his Lincoln sedan. There is some mention of him losing his law license so i assume thats what started the Lincoln thing and he grew used to it so he stuck with it. He's slick and street smart and surrounds himself with the best supporting cast imaginable. Everyone does a great job. William H. Macy as Frank Levin his private investigator is wonderful as always and his ex wife is played perfectly by Marisa Tomei.

I've seen it suggested that this should be made into a series for cable TV and I applaud that idea for this franchise! I love that the movie makes you think and think it could translate well to TV.
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Very Enjoyable Film
8 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
As I was watching this movie, all I could think about was that this is a placid "bad news/good news flick. The bad news was that for the first half hour or so, I thought I was watching some extended 80's music mix video. The good news is that I like 80's music. Come to think of it, there really was no valid reason to set this movie in the 1980's besides having a great soundtrack and getting to play around with the fashion of the era. (Damn, I really wish knit ties would come back in fashion!) Setting aside the timid and predictable first act, I have to say that I ended up enjoying this more than I was expecting to. From the moment they leave the high school reunion party until the finale, it felt like a different film. The characters came together and there were some genuinely humorous moments. It was still predictable but genuinely interesting nonetheless. Topher Grace and Anna Faris were perfectly cast and the supporting crew was more than solid. Angie Everhart's hot and wild bathroom sex scene was amazing but needed to be even longer. Even the overall message of not being afraid to take your shot hits home in the final act. The exchange between Topher and his father (Michael Biehn) was actually moving and quite profound.
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Hall Pass (2011)
Simply Awful
2 March 2011
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is terrible, absolutely terrible. Poor Christina Applegate, this waste was more "Sweetest Thing" than "Anchorman" to be sure. The Farrelly's should be embarrassed by this one. The cast didn't work and comedy was often disgusting but not in a good or funny way. Owen Wilson was OK and the babe that played the Australian knock out was wonderful but other than that, everyone seemed to be miscast. On a side note, I know she was only in two scenes but placing that Joy Whatshername from "The View" on screen attempting to act is the same as showing two long scenes of nails on a chalkboard. The whole movie grates on the viewer, insults 40 year olds everywhere and delivers very few if any laughs.
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I Am Freakin' Stunned... Enjoyed This Film!
23 February 2011
I Am Number Four = I Am Freakin' Stunned. I have to say that I went in to this movie with very low expectations and ended up enjoying it very much. Really, no joke. Sure, the plot raises quite a few questions but the overall premise is handled in a smart and slick manner. The writing is sound and the characters are believable for the most part. A real weakness is the cheesy villains. They never rise above freaky video game opponents but they seem to work well enough regardless. Honestly, the action in the final act was on a par with any tent pole summer film. Maybe the movie could be accused of borrowing tone from other films but so what??? Since I've never seen a Twilight movie, the tones I picked up were a mix of Spider-Man, Superman, Blade, and Terminator with a dash of Jumper. Not bad films to emulate for the most part.
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To call this Disappointing is the understatement of the year.
30 June 2005
The same sense of disappointment most people felt after watching "The Matrix Reloaded" or "Phantom Menace" likely will be rekindled with this film. Yes, I know giving in to hype can be a dangerous thing but it's STEVEN SPIELBERG for God sake. I was excited about this movie. After seeing it however, I now hope it lands in theatres with a resounding thud. I doubt it will but it deserves as much. To call this disappointing is the understatement of the year. I'm extremely sorry that I braved the opening night/day crowds to see this one.

This asinine collection of computer graphics and insane dialogue is just a disgrace to the fresh and revolutionary original book.
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Hostage (2005)
Excellent In Every Way
29 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
HOSTAGE is a psychological crime drama told in an over-the-top but generally enjoyable fashion by director Florent Emilio Siri, who likes his music and his explosions loud and often. It stars that ever-present action hero, Bruce Willis, who repeats the same type of character he must have played a thousand times before.

This time Willis's name is Jeff Talley. Jeff is a legend in the L.A.P.D. after seven years as the chief hostage negotiator. After losing two people on his watch, a burned out Jeff leaves to become the chief of police in a small town in which every day is a "low crime day." Of course, this will all change, and Jeff will again have a family in jeopardy and their lives hanging precariously in his hands.

Most of the movie is deadly serious and very intriguing. There is one especially funny joke about eBay -- the source of much movie humor these days -- which really cracked me up.
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The Pacifier (2005)
Beyond Bad ... NOT Funny
29 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Why did they think Vin Diesel, a guy with the emotive power of a rock, could do comedy? Sure, there are action hero roles like XXX, where being a buffed rock works well, but THE PACIFIER completely wastes Diesel's limited but undeniable talents. Although he might have hoped THE PACIFIER could do for him what KINDERGARTEN COP did for Arnold Schwarzenegger, THE PACIFIER's script is so lame and stupid even the Governator couldn't have made it work. And Diesel is certainly no Schwarzenegger.

The movie concerns a U.S. Navy SEAL assigned to guard a bunch of kids of an assassinated scientist who is supposed to have hidden the code for a secret software program somewhere in his house. His wife is off to Switzerland, where day after day she tries to guess the password so that the bank will let her have the safety deposit box that her husband left for her.

Meanwhile, back at the house of chaos, Lt. Shane Wolfe (Diesel) attempts to command a group of five unruly children with military precision. You'll be "shocked" to find that his strict orders and confident bravado don't cut it with the kids. And you'll be equally "surprised" to find that they all end up bonding with each other, becoming a happy family unit just before mom finally comes back home.

But no matter how many poopy diapers Wolfe sticks his hands into and no matter how much cereal is thrown at him, this slapstick comedy is almost never funny. Only in the opening, which parodies a commando team in action, does the humor ever come close to being effective.
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