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Reviews
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)
If you've seen one James Wan movie you've seen them all.
Was this The Conjuring? Annabelle? Insidious? ...oh right, it's another James Wan flick. Using the same plot over & over & over gets old quick, someone let James know that relying on a formula that once made millions is pretty lame. Jumpscares are not scary, they're startling. A film that relies on them isn't horrifying it's annoying.
Ánimas (2018)
I tried, but sometimes even that is too much
Wow Netflix, you really hit a new low. You blatantly attempted copying the work of a master & failed miserably. Using the original motion picture soundtrack for The Neon Demon (directed by Nicolas Winding Refn) and trying to recreate an exact scene from the movie, shot for shot, was not only a bad idea, it was in poor taste.
This horrible excuse for a film has everything you'd expect from Netflix; subpar writing, horrible acting, low budget production, and nothing original.
Possum (2018)
Would've been better as a short film, nothing new
The concept & execution are done well, but stretching everything into a feature length film was unnecessary. It gets a bit laggy aside from the already ample time set for creating suspense & intrigue. I found myself getting bored & impatient with a "just wrap things up" mentality - you're given the information needed to connect the dots, but are then beaten over the head with it for another 45 minutes.
Unfriended: Dark Web (2018)
Just because a few ideas might look good on paper doesn't mean they should be made into a movie.
It's obvious not a minute of research or thought went into this. Unfriended: Dark Web misses it's mark of seeming even remotely possible and/or making sense. My grandmother would laugh & call foul...and she doesn't own a computer. Yes, it's THAT bad.
He's Out There (2018)
Nothing new, nothing surprising, it's been done hundreds of times
A typical plot, really bad writing, average production quality.....and very boring. There are hundreds of films exactly like "He's Out There", don't waste your time with this one.
Don't Watch This (2018)
They're not joking with the title.
Seriously, who authorizes this crap? 3 minute "episodes" from the mind of prepubescents. Take anything you've seen before (no context, no plot, just a scene) & think of it being recreated for the Syfy channel...bad cgi, laughable dialogue, saying wtf to yourself, all that. You've got Don't Watch This.
Haunted (2018)
Haunted? More like "I'm a victim & I've been traumatized. Sit here while I cry & tell you a story."
This show can't decide what it's trying to be...drama, crime story, horror-type story telling, who knows. Every episode is "based on a true story" but there's no factual evidence or explanation to back anything up. You're basically just watching a person sit in front of friends & family and tell them about how they've been emotionally scarred and "never told anyone before." No witnesses, no newspaper articles, no televised news clips, no doctors, experts, police or anyone involved explaining what they saw or how they were involved or helped...nothing. It's literally a person telling a story in a circle of people while poor quality re-enactments break up the camera time. Haunted is pretty bad, it's cringey. You're better off watching one of the many crime documentaries on Netflix.
Against the Night (2017)
Unbearable.
I love horror movies of every kind, even "bad" ones for entertainment value. What makes "bad" horror movies good is the fact that the people involved KNOW they're making a movie that's so horrible it's funny. Against The Night had no clue. A script/plot similar to something I wrote in 6th grade, really REALLY bad acting, overused cliches so bad that you can tell what's going to happen to who after 10 minutes...the list of negatives goes on & on. Don't waste your time, it's unbearable no matter what angle you try to view it from.
Romina (2018)
So bad I don't even know where to begin.
It's become obvious that Netflix is focused on quantity rather than quality, especially within the past couple of years. Anything gets approved & put on rotation. Romina proves the point.
It's a subpar, remedial attempt at movie making that almost makes you wonder if there was even a script, or plan, or budget or if some high schoolers were just making everything up on the fly. Bad writing (if any), no plot, awful acting...the list goes on without any positives. We turned it off fairly close to the end & didn't care - the movie couldn't have redeemed itself by that point. Don't waste your time.
Extinction (2018)
A very small step above something that'd be on SyFy, after one of their Sharknado "films".
Anyone who'd be interested in watching this has already seen it done much better. Netflix took elements from every GOOD sci-fi movie & attempted making something new. One problem: the "twist" they thought was clever and would set this movie apart from every other poorly recycled sci-fi movie is as ridiculous as what they were trying to achieve. Add bad writing, cringe worthy performances and production levels that are so low they're borderline comical and you've got Extinction...another piece of Netflix garbage.
Demon House (2019)
A ridiculous attempt to boost this guy's tv show.
Oh please!! Bad acting & playing up coincidences make for a movie as bad as this guy's monotone narration & tough guy image. It's all completely transparent & ridiculous. The people in this mockumentary aren't even what they claim to be (ex. policemen, child protective services workers, etc.). And when people are put in the hospital during filming, why not speak to the "doctors" who diagnosed them? Why not show paperwork? Test results? x-rays? Believers who hyped this should do their research & use common sense. It's a complete waste of time.