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Reviews
Twilight (2008)
Awful, awful, awful
Like the book, it's a terrible excuse for storytelling. Don't waste your time with this wish-fulfillment, Mary Sue melodrama unless you truly wish to lower the bar to all-new depths.
This is honestly the only movie so far that I've fallen asleep too, meaning that, as far as overall entertainment goes, you'll be better off putting your money on "Glen or Glenda?", "Battlefield Earth" or "Freddie got Fingered".
The truly tragic thing is that this summary actually puts it marginally ahead of the book itself. Don't bother with this film unless you have a death wish you want to act upon shortly.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991)
A worthy send-off to the original astral voyagers
Following the bore that was Star Trek V, it seemed for a while as though the original cast had played its final part. Fortunately, however, Kirk and Crew were allowed to finish their run on a more fitting note, through Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
The film itself is quite dark at times, but when the humor comes along it fares better than the rather goofy jokes from its predecessor. The cast lands a spectacular performance as always, with the assistance of Trek newcomer Christopher Plummer and others. The score itself, like many other soundtracks from the original films, differs radically from both its predecessor and its successor, Generations - it is dark at times, nostalgic at others - this being after all the final voyage of the original crew - yet still laced with a barely-tangible optimism, particularly when Shatner delivers the final monologue, in which he implicitly passes on the torch to the next generation of astral voyagers. Star Trek VI also touches on very intriguing themes; drawing parallels between the Klingon-Federation conflict and the Cold War, and exploring the paradoxical yet vital notion of having a "battle for peace".
The film isn't perfect; I'd say 8/10. However, the average goes up marginally faster if I give it a 10/10, so that's what I'll do.
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (2010)
Blown out of proportion
Bear in mind that this review is written from an adult's perspective. As a kids' show, MLP is indeed pretty good. For adults, however, there's no reason it should be considered anything more than a bore.
1. The "life lessons" adult fans claim that this show contains are the kind most people learn as early as kindergarten. Having each moral spelled out at the end of every episode bothers me immensely. If you want a show about morality and friendship, there are just so many more subtle and intellectually-profound things to choose from - Doctor Who, Star Trek and the like.
2. The animation isn't one-tenth as amazing as people claim it is. Yippie-ka-yay, it's flash. Call it an issue of taste, but I personally found the animation shallow and two-dimensional. Megas XLR pulled it off a billion times better, despite being considerably older.
3. The storyline itself is what you'd expect from any little kids' show; riddled with inaccuracies, plot holes and clichés, with characters and elements shoehorned in at any time and then promptly forgotten the next episode. The characters themselves are stock protagonists with stereotypical traits, and never seem to develop in a meaningful way. Again, for a kids' show, it's not bad. As an adult, however... no. Just no.
4. The "humor", if any such exists, is dreary and gave me a headache, part of which was derived from incessant face-palming. I am an avid fan of comedic literature (particularly Terry Pratchett), and this show evoked not even a brief smile. Its puns are unfunny, its pop culture references are forced, and it has nothing to offer by way of hilarity.
So now I recline and await the never-ending flood of thumbs down's from rabid fans for daring to question their object of worship. The show isn't actually half-bad bearing in mind its intended audience, but 7.7? That's the main reason I'm giving it 1/10 - this show doesn't come close to deserving its current score.
6.5/10 for its intended audience 2.5/10 for adult entertainment value 1/10 for average adjustment
Edit: As of writing, 7/10 people have called this review "unhelpful". That's what brony "love and tolerance" gets you, I suppose... they tolerate other people's opinions as long as they agree with them. ;)
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
A solid entry in the Star Trek saga (minor references to characters)
Star Trek has often fallen short of Star Wars in the region of movie magic. Even the strongest entries in the franchise, such as Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, have been criticized for lackluster special effects and somewhat shoddy animation. The eighth entry, however, breaks with tradition by delivering a polished, professional look combined with a story that, though teetering at times, still manages to convey the classic Star Trek message of hope and understanding.
The film has suffered a hit in popularity recently due to some well- renowned reviews, courtesy of RedLetterMedia. While I personally tended to agree with his assessment, watching the movie made me reevaluate some of RLM's criticisms as unfounded or misleading. The story isn't flawless, by no accounts so, but it's most certainly watertight, and it brings the point across very well.
Choosing Jonathan Frakes as a director was a wise move. Not only was he efficient in bringing home a good production (allegedly earning the nickname "Two-Takes Frakes" on set), but his long experience of Star Trek as a cast member on The Next Generation enabled him to produce a film that would go on to please hardcore trekkers and film critics alike. He, alongside fellow Enterprise crew members and guest stars, also do a good job of portraying the various culture clashes as the Enterprise is stranded in the past, its complement feverishly working to save humanity from its direst perils yet.
The score, by Jerry and Joel Goldsmith, doesn't disappoint either. It combines the harrowing tune of the Borg with the lighter, cheerful leitmotif of the Enterprise. No complaints there.
Overall, the movie probably deserve 8.5-9/10, but I rate it higher to bring the average up to where it belongs.
Le pacte des loups (2001)
Impressive achievement with some letdowns (possible minor spoilers)
In an era where Hollywood dominates the action film industry, it frequently comes across as a breath of fresh air to see a European challenger. Brotherhood of the Wolf is no different, combining good special effects with a story convincing enough to remain an intrigue for the entire 142min runtime.
Despite being shot on a relatively low budget for an action film ($29mn, compared to $63mn for The Matrix and $115mn for Star Wars Episode I), Brotherhood of the Wolf manages to deliver an excellent experience. A wise decision made by the director was to delay the reveal of the feral antagonist for as long as possible (even though the audience is cleverly allowed to witness its rampage off-screen), which adds to the build-up of suspense for the climactic confrontation with the Beast later on. Minor directing faults, such as excessive use of slow-motion, doesn't serve to detract overly-much from the thrilling ride.
Brotherhood of the Wolf is not without its flaws. Personal criticisms of mine also include a relatively underwhelming ending and some confusion concerning other parts of the story. However, in terms of an overall experience, it's a thrilling and colorful ride. Well worth your money, by all accounts.
Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987)
A refreshing glint of a joyous future
In the true spirit of Star Trek, The Next Generation is a voyage of contrasts. It entails adversity yet optimism as well; it carries perils yet also an unwavering belief in the triumph of morality. While the special effects continue to trail those of other notable sci-fi productions (chiefly Star Wars), the strength of Star Trek lies in its profound exploration; not so much of space as of our selves.
While the original Trek broke new ground by having a multi-ethnic and gender-diverse crew at the height of racial segregation in the US, TNG takes it a step further. The age-old adversaries of the Federation are now allies through the presence of the dour yet intriguing Lt. Worf. Brent Spiner succeeds Leonard Nimoy as the Enterprise's voice of logic through the logical, yet lovable, android Data. And at the head of this diverse complement stands Captain Jean-Luc Picard, whose courage and moral fiber will be put to the test as the Enterprise begins its seven- year voyage, cruising the vast expanse of the galaxy.
Some episodes are no doubt very weak, but boring through them is well worth it to reach the defining moments of the show (personal favorites of mine include "Who Watches the Watchers", "Déjà Q", "The Drumhead" and "The Measure of a Man"). In an analogy from the Klondike mining fields; you have to sift through quite a few pans of gravel to get to the rarest of gems. But once you do, it will have been well worth the wait.
9/10, but I rate it 10/10 to bring the average closer to that value.