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Orion and the Dark (2024)
DreamWorks fails hard on an interesting premise
DreamWorks falls on its face trying to make a Pixar movie. It's predictable, hallow, poorly thought out, and a wasted premise. My kids were checked out before the end of the movie and had more fun pointing out plot holes and calling out basic conceptual issues than just trying to watch what should have been climax of the film. The concept of the movie had something and perhaps this could be reworked into a successful 5 minute short, but as a feature length film it falls apart. If this really is the director debut movie perhaps it should also be the last. The technical aspects of the film are fine, nothing outstanding but this really just feels like a missed opportunity. DreamWorks had a surprise success with puss in boots last wish but this flop is a poor follow-up.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Tragically unoriginal and soulless
It's rare to watch something attempting to be a sweeping epic and to feel nothing but shocked at the lack of competence with which it was assembled. The characters are beyond hollow, the story feels like an AI attempt at mashing together star wars and the chronicles of Riddick. The movie jumps so quickly to fulfill all the well trodden beats of exactly what you would expect but forgets to give life to its tale. I went in with low expectations and this fell short of those. The CGI is also wildly inconsistent some scenes seem like mediocre work from a 2008 movie while others pass as bare minimum acceptable for 2020. This whole project feels unfinished and poorly crafted.
Better Off Ted (2009)
Smart, Quick, Funny, and gone before it's time
Still one of my favorite sitcoms to this day. The writing was snappy and clever. There was no obnoxious laugh track. The actors are charming and instantly likable. If the show premier was now in age of streaming instead of at the tail end of network domination it would have gone on longer and been more successful. The show isn't for younger children as it has a good amount of sexual reference. But this is adult casual watch sitcom done to perfection. There are 2 seasons and it's currently streaming. Come for the quirky lab experiments and corporate system satire and stay for warm character moments and iconic wit.
We Can Be Heroes (2020)
Poorly made even by the low genre standards
Kids movies don't have to be garbage. But this movie falls into that category. Poorly written, Poorly acted, terrible effects, and lacking any internal logic this movie assumes its audience (our kids) are stupid. A few charming moments are accidentally caught by sheer force of charisma from the more talented child actors but most performances (child and adult) are cringe inducing. The spy Kids / sharkboy & lava girl style of movie isn't for me in general but the this entry is at the bottom of the list even in that category. Sky high and Zoom are more successful versions of what this movies is going for.
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made (2020)
Love story to portlands quirks as a family movie for all
A few surprising laughs are sprinkled throughout this charming family movie. It's a be true to who you are take with a surprisingly realistic tweak to the message. Be true to who you are but dont make life difficult for others pursuing your own. These supporting cast is great including the kids. The lead actor playing timmy does ok but I dont expect this to launch a film career. The writing is well done and not overly sweet. My 9 and 6 year olds liked the movie and so did my wife and myself. It would be tough to find a human with a soul still intact who would call this a bad film. Animation is well done. Wallace shawn is great as the teacher. A crowd pleaser of a film that just missed greatness itself.
Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (2020)
Beautiful and fun
Fun take on the post apocalyptic world. Beautifully drawn. Tackles some issues you'd never expect a show like this to address, like what happens to the rest of the characters if our lead gets fhe happy ending she wants. My family tore through the first season in two days. Well worth a watch. I'd give it 8.5 if that was an option. Not sure how long the show can run but I'll enjoy the ride at least for this early portion. Looking forward t ok season 2. My nine year old daughter loved this! The 5 yrs old couldn't really follow the whole story but still enjoyed watching
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
Silly but sweet-hearted fun
don't believe all the hyperbolic reviews of this being a disaster of a film. while it might not live up to "Ted" the brilliant first film from Seth Macfarlane this western comedy delivers on laughs a plenty. Yes they is a good amount of juvenile humor but if we get over our pretentious selves that is where some of the best belly laughs come from. Had this movie been simply billed as a comedy from Seth Macfarlane and a cast list shown this would have been a 100 million dollar opening weekend flick. i think the western aspect threw off many people. which is a shame. Full of cameos, decently acted, and with some actual heart, its a film that is best enjoyed with a group of friends. be prepared to leave with a mustache based song in your head. the two ladies in our group laughed even more than the guys, so it is a good group date flick even if westerns aren't particularly female friendly movies. Spend a few bucks, take some friends and share a laugh. Then join me in telling critics to get off their high horse and enjoy this flick like the rest of us.
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
an awful prequel, with no ruby red but plenty of green screen
This movie is poorly acted, packed with super fake cg backgrounds, and empty of care or concern for a single character.
The only actor who seemed to bring any emotion or connection from the audience was Zach Braff, and he was promptly turned into a terrible comic relief monkey. Thus leaving the film in the hands of james and mila who oddly get worse as the film goes on. I'll admit bias on my part as I've never been a fan of weiz, so I also didn't like her in this role but I've like braff, mila, and james in other films and shows.
Large missed point I had beef with as well, if your doing a prequel to the wizard of oz and establishing the characters shouldn't the one dorthy crushes with the house be seen in the trademark ruby red shoes at least once? Otherwise your missing the biggest icon in the movies. But here it can be forgiven as the more space and less connection this awful creation has from the original classic the better. If your looking to see a recent Oz themed movie I'd watch the muppets oz movie and avoid this movie like the plague.
My wife, normally easy going on films, even said this was a trainwreck Not sure how this movie has a 6.5 rating I thought I was being generous at 2 stars.
Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)
surprise, its decent
After all the terrible British animated movies I've seen out there I was shocked this one is not only crack for the 2 to 4 yr old crowd but its tolerable for parents as well. Yes its the story we all know but the jokes and characters are cute, its well paced, and my lil girl loves it. I'll take this Brit animated movie over the train wreck that is escape from planet earth any day. The Happy ending fits the kid style of the movie, and keep an ear out for plenty of celebrity cameos. Bright colors, small amount of violence but teaches message, so over-all a kid winner. Odd that this is my first reviewed movie, its not the best it's not the worst. But I think its one parents might try to avoid if they didn't know better. So give it a shot.