EitoMan Reviews

Deck of Cards (2022)

5 Bags for Turkington's Jocker!

[10/10 · 6 September 2022]

I am loathe to use any movie "rating" system that fails to conform to the 5-bag system. That aside, what Gregg Turkington has accomplished with Deck of Card merits the highest rating possible (5 bags of popcorn is the limit).

While it is true the theatrical version of Deck of Cards was BUTCHERED by Tim Heidenker, Turkington's clear vision is still apparent. Nothing will prepare audiences for the fantastical world that Gregg created--a world where the Mummy, Dudley Moore, some woman riding a horse, and Jocker try to uncover who kidnapped the King of Hearts (Joe "Mr Money" Estevez). It's a wild-ride with stellar performances all around. I dare say even Michael Matthews (aka Laroux) shines as Jimmy Hendricks. Of course Mark Porch steals the whole movie with his masterful portrayal of multiple characters (e.g. Mummy, Einstein, and Billy Graham). This is one movie that Oscer cannot ignore. Best. Film. Ever.

The Pumaman (1980)

Disregard the negative reviews!

[10/10 · 24 October 2021]

Look--this is a trash film. But it's a GLORIOUS trash film. If you're into cult/psychotronic cinema, then Puma Man delivers. I find it difficult to believe that if you're reading reviews on Puma Man in 2021 (or later) that you don't already know it's a cult film. So using that metric, I give it 10/10. Horrible but fun script, laughable FX, great cult actors. Just go watch it, it's awesome.

Demons (1985)

An absolute blast!

[10/10 · 21 February 2021]

I saw this film upon release in the cinema. This was in the pre-internet era so there was no information available about the film other than what could be discerned from the poster. I could write a much more detailed review waxing about Lamberto Bava, Dario Argento, and Michele Soavi but few IMDB readers care about that level of detail.

I saw a ton of horror films during that era, but Demons is one of a handful (including Evil Dead 1 & 2 and Re-Animator) which made a massive impression.

Make no mistake, this isn't a "good" film as it pertains to narrative or acting. It is, however, technically competent and the gore FX are both gratuitous and effective. Once the action ramps up, the film is like a roller-coaster that never lets up.

As someone who is a major fan of Italian exploitation cinema, there are a couple of notable things about this film. The "characters" in this film are barely one-dimensional and come across as almost cartoonish. However, that works to the film's benefit. Earlier Italian gore films inflicted eye-gougings and mutilation on sympathetic characters whereas in Demons, the characters are so flimsy and absurd that when they get mangled you marvel more in the FX and don't feel bad for the character. In this way, it is similar to the Evil Dead franchise. The gore is still really well executed, but the characters are so disposable and the action is so unrelenting that your brain just enjoys the ride. This was a novel approach in 1985 when this film was released.

I'd also note that Demons was the first movie of it's kind to have a soundtrack filled with contemporary music. Not only had I never seen a horror film embrace a soundtrack built around popular artists, but it wasn't common in mainstream film or television in 1985 either.

Demons is not a "good" movie, but it is great cult film. The FX still hold up quite well and the unrelenting pace keeps you mesmerized. Demons EASILY deserves to be included in any "top-10" horror films of the 80s--and probably would be in the top-5.

Revenge of the Virgins (1959)

Nudie-cutie written by Ed Wood

[8/10 · 24 May 2020]

Let's not beat around the busy--this isn't a Howard Hawks or John Ford film. If you're a normal person with pedestrian tastes then go find an episode of Bonanza to watch. For the rest of you though....

Revenge of the Virgins is a sublime nudie-cutie written by the great Ed Wood and directed by Peter Perry Jr who would later go on to produce the fantastic steaming pile of trash "Hollywood High" in 1976.

The acting is about as poor as you could hope for, and the breasts are above average. It's like alchemy!

The plot is pedestrian and could easily have been culled from a long forgotten TV Western...prospector leads a party into Indian territory to find gold, interpersonal conflicts threaten them from within while they are slowly hunted by natives. Except in this film, the natives are nude, buxom beauties.

Revenge of the Virgins is less than an hour long so don't waste any more time--go watch it.

The Trial (2017)

Incredible piece of art & storytelling

[10/10 · 29 April 2020]

"The Trial" is but a small fraction (despite it's long running time) of the larger "On Cinema" universe. The Trial, like the rest of the On Cinema universe, is basically a soap-opera revolving around a narrow cast of incredibly dysfunctional people.

On Cinema began as a podcast, then became an independent YouTube show, and was finally picked up by Adult Swim (where it is both shown on television and made available on YouTube. On Cinema is basically just a framework for various story-lines that revolve around Tim Heidecker and Gregg Turkington--both playing fictionalized versions of themselves. The On Cinema show has produced a number of notable related spin-offs including annual Oscar Specials, five Decker "movies," The Trial, and the theatrical release "Mister America." It is also carried over to social media wherein both Tim and Gregg further interact and advance the various stories. Each of these projects (including The Trial) continues and/or develops further story-lines within the On Cinema universe. It is an incredibly ambitious comedy project that has lasted the better part of a decade and shows no sign of slowing down. It is truly one of the biggest, most successful performance-art projects ever undertaken. None of these projects are presented in a stereotypical "comedic" fashion--they are each played out as surreal dramas (or in the case of Decker as 'action' films).

All of that aside, The Trial is a great watch for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is Tim Heidecker's performance. Tim is a criminally underrated actor--probably because of the absurdity of the subject matter he involves himself in. Still, you can see in The Trial (and much of his other On Cinema projects) how versatile and frightening he can actually be. The Trial is basically played "straight" but there are so many bizarre, unbelievable elements at play it is easy to overlook the real genius on display.

Although you don't necessarily need to watch multiple seasons of On Cinema to appreciate The Trial, it wouldn't hurt to at least watch a few episodes to understand the personalities of Tim (and Gregg) as well as the stressed relationship.

Princess of Mars (2009 Video)

Not as bad as others suggest

[5/10 · 15 April 2019]

Okay, this isn't a "good" film by anyone's standards. And it's not one of those "so bad it's good" titles either. It's a cheaply made modern-day B-Movie that has poor FX along with very inconsistent acting. As far as Asylum videos go, I'd rank this in the upper-tier because the source material is good, and the the production team seems to be earnestly trying to do the best they can with the limited resources.

If you're the kind of viewer that mocks and dismisses genre films, then don't bother. But if you enjoy those types of films, then Princess of Mars is actually a fairly entertaining title to stream.

I've read the Burroughs books and although this film deviates, it does a decent enough job translating the pulp nature of the stories into entertaining schlock. And I think it's important to point that out--the source material for John Carter, Barsoom, and the Princess of Mars stuff is pure pulp fiction--not high art. Disney tried (and miserably failed) to elevate the material. This take (which pre-dates the Disney version by a few years) keeps things simple and light.

The main actors do a decent job, but some of the supporting talent (especially the person voicing Tal Hajus) leave much to be desired. As to FX, the CGI is shockingly poor--but so were rubber suited monsters in films of old. I don't expect much from titles like this whereas the makeup FX for Leonardo DiCaprio and Armie Hammer in J. Edgar were so bad that they pull me completely out of a film.

Regardless...if you're a fan of old movie serials and other genre fare, this cheap direct-to-video adaptation might satisfy you more than Disney's colossal bomb. Princess of Mars is not entirely competent in every respect. But I think the director and lead actors delivered an entertaining film on a shoestring budget--and brought John Carter into the 21st Century years before Disney took their failed shot.

The Kelsey Grammer Bill Zucker Comedy Hour (2010 TV Movie)

What a trainwreck

[1/10 · 27 March 2019]

The only reason to watch this steaming pile of media is to see Kelsey Grammer risk his professional reputation for a quick paycheck. Make no mistake about it, Bill Zucker (RIP) financed this project and hired some out of work "talent" (Scott Baio & Lydia Cornell) to participate in his wretched skits. Zucker was so transparently untalented that it is shocking that Mr Grammer would in any way appear on screen with him. My only guess is that Kelsey might have been led to believe they were recording a demo reel for Bill Zucker and that it would never be "released." Instead (I speculate) Mr Zucker actually threw Kelsey's name in the title, did press releases, and shopped it as an actual show in order to accrue some undeserved notoriety for himself.

This is a horrible piece of trash. It's not a "so bad it's good" kind of thing--it's just bad. Watching the hired help perform Zucker's atrociously bad sketches and participate in vomit-enducing banter will make you cringe.

Savage Streets (1984)

Really disgusting (not in a good way)

[2/10 · 11 April 2018]

I am a 40+ year fan & connoisseur of exploitation movies. Call them whatever you like...schlock, trash-cinema, psychotronic films...it doesn't matter. I've literally watched thousands of these type movies, including nearly every notorious Italian cannibal film as well as plenty of rape-revenge flicks. Savage Streets is the rare exception in that I found it so genuinely distasteful that I regret watching it.

In many superficial ways, Savage Streets is a typical 80s violent gang-action film. It's got some decent talent in front of the camera and a lead (Linda Blair) with a recognizable name. It's shot well enough for the B-movie that it is. But behind all the artifice of a generic violent movie, the screenwriter/director went out of his way to absolutely revel in sexual assault.

Sexual assault was, unfortunately, a major trope in countless 70s & 80s exploitation films. It was not uncommon in major studio productions either. I've seen it plenty of times, and I admit, I don't like it. Generally speaking, most of these genre films use rape to amp up the sleaze and provide the protagonist some motivation. Personally, I think this was both distasteful and lazy...but hey, that's just me.

Savage Streets, takes things to a different level. The rape scene is extremely drawn out, very cruel, and perpetrated against a character that is portrayed as very sheltered, vulnerable, and disabled (mute). And it's not even just a rape scene--it's a gang rape...and it goes on forever.

Besides the rape, the film is replete with other instances of violence specifically targeted towards women including sexual assault and murder (of a pregnant woman). This is all done in service of setting up the "revenge" element of the movie.

When I say that the "revenge" element is weak, I'm not lying. Whereas the rape scene was played out graphically, the ONE SCENE with Linda Blair getting "revenge" is shockingly tame (given that this is an exploitation film) and also brief. The film is very unbalanced in that the "revenge" seems a half-hearted afterthought that is only included in order to justify the gratuitous graphic depiction of violence towards women.

I'm not Puritan by any stretch. I've watched plenty of sick stuff. But Savage Streets seems to really revel in glorifying violence towards women in a way that crosses a big boundary (for me). It doesn't do it because it's taboo, it really comes across as the writer/director really being a twisted person.

Zombie Wars (2007 Video)

Solid David A. Prior film

[6/10 · 4 January 2018]

I've been working my way through the entire David A. Prior catalog over the past month. He's mostly famous for his action/exploitation films in the late 80s/early 90s. Zombie Wars was one of 2 films he made in 2007 after a 8 year hiatus. If you're reading this review just to get info on a zombie film you've never heard of then quit reading now.

This film is primarily going to be of interest to David A. Prior fans and not zombie-movie fans. That said, it is a solid Prior movie and bears many of the hallmarks of his action films from decades earlier (gun play, pretty girls, dudes on a mission). Much has been toned down--stunt work is scaled back, big action scenes (e.g. firefights) are absent BUT there's still enough action to satisfy. Although this film contains some CGI it primarily utilizes practical FX which is refreshing. I have no complaints as it pertains to FX.

Aside of the abject weirdness of the zombie plot, the script is actually pretty solid. Motivations are clear, things that are set-up in the script have pay-offs, the dialogue is good. Look, this isn't Citizen Kane...it's a direct-to-video B-movie capitalizing on the zombie trend in 2007.

Like most Prior films from the 80s, the acting in this film ranges from good, to adequate, to bad. As in most Prior films, the leads do pretty well whereas the secondary players are all over the map. Prior (or his casting agent) actually had a pretty good eye for talent and often found leads that elevate his movies--this trait is certainly on display in Zombie Wars.

I honestly had very low expectations for this film. I figured that given his long absence from directing that his return would be more akin to the poor schlock of that era as opposed to the GREAT schlock that he was so skilled at producing in the 80s & 90s. This isn't a "great" film by any definition--it's not even a "great" David A. Prior film--but it's a decent David A. Prior film and definitely watchable. RIP David A. Prior.

Fuga dall'arcipelago maledetto (1982)

Middle of the road Margheriti

[6/10 · 5 March 2017]

I'm a serious Antonio Margheriti fan and really enjoy his films from this era in particular. Let me be clear, if you're not a fan of Italian exploitation/genre films, then the low budget and SFX might turn you off. That said, Margheriti was a superior director and consistently produced entertaining films on minuscule budgets. His work with miniatures was often remarkable although I fear younger people now might ridicule it. Personally, I remain greatly impressed by the craftsmanship that went into those low-budget effects.

But I digress...as to this particular film, it is unfortunately not quite as entertaining as most of his others from this era. The film stars Margheriti regulars David Warbeck, Luciano Pigozzi , and Rene Abadeza. All three are great (as usual). And like many other Margheriti films of this era it was filmed in the Philippines, which provides a suitable exotic, jungle location. Unfortunately this film lacks some essential elements--the most glaring of which is the lack of an antagonist/villain. Instead, Warbeck & Co. are reduced to traipsing through the jungle merely dodging nameless soldiers. There's no Lee Van Cleef or Klaus Kinski running some scheme with drug lords. There's no Ernest Borgnine pulling the strings from the Capitol. It is literally just Warbeck and his buddies trying to avoid soldiers. This is unique in Margheriti's films and is impossible to excuse as the plot is literally the thinnest of any of his movies. Also dragging the production down is the fact that nearly 100% of the movie is filmed in the jungle. Without an antagonist, there are no scenes back in the city with the bad guys plotting, no scenes at drug manufacturing silos, and nothing visually interesting (for the most part). They literally traipse through the jungle and stop mostly in empty buildings. Although there are a couple of decent explosions, they are kept at a bare minimum and Margheriti fans will be disappointed in the conspicuous lack of flame-thrower action.

All that said, I cannot rate a Margheriti film lower than 5 out of 10 because despite this film having virtually no budget, he and the actors make the most it. It does have some (outlandish) casual racism that still perplexes me. If you are a fan of Margheriti in particular or Italian exploitation in general then check out this movie...if not, stay away.

The Ark of the Sun God (1984)

Solid Margheriti action film.

[8/10 · 20 February 2017]

First off, I'm a big fan of Italian genre cinema in general and of the director Antonio Margheriti in particular. This isn't film as art but commerce. The Italians were experts at exploiting the popularity of various American films and selling the imitations worldwide. This particular film is (obviously) derivative of Indiana Jones with a little James Bond thrown in.

Margheriti was a very competent director who elevated the cheap films he directed. He almost always assembles a solid cast (as is the case in Ark of the Sun God) and packs his movies full of outlandish special effects. His use of miniatures is especially impressive although this film doesn't reflect his best use of them. Although I have high praise for his work both in this film and others, many people will laugh at what is presented. It is a cheap film and the FX aren't always anywhere near Hollywood standards. But Margheriti still consistently produced entertaining films, on the cheap, with exotic locations (in this case Turkey), and wild FX. It's the cinema equivalent of a comic book from the 50s...cheap, disposable, juvenile, but fun as hell.

As to this film in particular, Ark of the Sun God is an entertaining adventure film that takes place mostly in Turkey. David Warbeck is solid (as usual) as the lead, as is John Steiner who takes on a secondary role. Lucinno Pigozzi, who is a regular in Antonio Margheriti's films, returns here as Beetle--he was a very solid character actor little known outside of Italy. Of course the whole movie is dubbed (many Italian genre films of the era were filmed without sound and dubbed in post-production). The plot involves finding and stealing a valuable artifact from an ancient tomb, all the while being chased by various goons. Standard boilerplate nonsense. The whole thing is utterly ridiculous and disposable. If you're looking for innovative cinema, look elsewhere. But the movie is fun in the same way as those old comic books were. They were pretty much considered disposable schlock as well until folks began to appreciate the talent that went into creating them.

The Fantastic Four (1994)

Great little film

[8/10 · 17 February 2017]

This film has a crazy history, but if you put that aside and judge it as a superhero film made on a budget it is great. This movie comes from a time before superhero films had budgets over $100,000,000 and back when comic books were still aimed primarily at kids. It's a simple origin story that stays pretty true to the comic book. The FX can be kind of goofy (except for The Thing, which overall looks awesome). The acting is solid as is the directing, music, and script. If you're a jerk and like belittling cheap genre movies, then you'll probably have a field day with this movie since it literally had 1/100th the budget of modern comic-book films...but I think it's entertaining and fun. The folks who made it did a good job.

Adam and Eve (1983)

A bizarre, must-watch film for fans of Italian exploitation

[10/10 · 13 November 2016]

Probably the only reason this title caught your eye is that it stars Mark Gregory from 1990: The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx. This is his first film after Bronx Warriors and boy is it strange. Both directors of Adam & Eve also co-directed the Blue Lagoon rip-off "Blue Island" a year prior, and this film similarly attempts to capitalize on that as well as 1981's Quest for Fire. Although the Italians did exploit a number of genres in the early 80s, this is an extremely small sub-genre unlike the fantasy and sci-fi rip-offs that were more ubiquitous.

Adam & Eve shares much of the same sensibilities as any other Italian exploitation film of that era. There's some skin, there's some sex, some (minor) gore, a fantasy setting, extremely cheap (but charming) production values.

Surprisingly, this film is really not all that bad. The locations they shot the film are absolutely gorgeous which really set the film apart visually from other genre films of that era. The story of Adam & Eve (from the Bible) is well known and the plot of the film incorporates it surprisingly competently. Once cast out from the Garden, the plot involves encounters with what is best described as a tribe of cavemen and then a violent encounter with savages. Oh, there is the bear scene, and it is gloriously bad...I'm talking worse than Yor. Unfortunately the bear scene is short, but by God, if you like 80s Italian exploitation I guarantee you will never forget it.

I found this little known film on Amazon Prime streaming in a very nice 16:9 print. Personally, I loved the film--but I am a MAJOR fan of Psychotronic film in general and Italian exploitation films from that era in particular. Although most viewers will find films like this laughable and worthy of mocking, I really appreciate them as akin to pulp entertainment. Only folks who share my sensibilities are likely to enjoy this movie--all others should seek out the films it rips off (Blue Lagoon & Quest for Fire).

Decker (2014–2017)

You'll love it or hate it

[10/10 · 15 September 2016]

Decker is a spin-off of the web-series "On Cinema at the Cinema" in which Tim Heidecker and Gregg Turkington review movies. Decker is a project their characters undertake on "On Cinema." If you're not familiar with the characters on that show you won't fully appreciate their characters on Decker. On Cinema has been around for years and can be watched on YouTube--I'd HIGHLY recommend watching those "seasons" prior to watching Decker because the evolution of Tim & Gregg on that show lays the foundation for much of the humor of Decker. Each year they also do an "Oscar Special" that runs over 3 hours--those are WELL worth watching as they contain much of the Dekkar stuff and the sustained absurdity is mind-blowing. Plus "On Cinema" is funny as hell.

Like "On Cinema," Decker is absurdist anti-humor. It is ridiculously bad in every way possible. Generally speaking, if you like Tim & Eric, Eric Andre, or other Adult Swim type programs you'll most likely love this.

Seasons 1 & 2 are favorites. Season 3 (Decker vs Dracula) is decent but relies on FX too much. Adult Swim took over the production of Season 4 (Decker Unclassified) and it's a little too slick for my taste; Decker is best when produced with almost no budget.

Pulp Fiction: The Golden Age of Storytelling (2009 Video)

Weird propaganda by the Church of Scientology

[2/10 · 31 May 2016]

This short documentary is not wholly without merit; it does contain some snippets of interviews with real luminaries of pulp (e.g. Ray Bradbury). Unfortunately, the video is undermined by it's shameless attempt to paint L. Ron Hubbard as the king of pulp fiction. If you are unaware, Hubbard is the creator of the cult "Scientology" which has a cosmology rooted in the belief that an evil galactic ruler named Xenu took the spirits of millions of people, flew them on DC 10's to Earth, and dropped them in volcanoes. He got his start writing for pulps, but he was, at absolute best, a minor writer who never achieved any fandom or acclaim before he created Scientology. This documentary truly goes out of it's way to re-write history and paint Hubbard as the penultimate pulp writer. It's focus on him is both obsessive and subtly manipulative--for example when conducting interviews, some folks are seated with bookshelves full of Hubbard's books visible behind them.

I rate this video 2 stars; it does contain some interesting stuff, but any viewer should be aware that this is a propaganda film meant to enhance the reputation of a cult leader whose career in pulp fiction was, at best, unspectacular. I highly suspect that the film was financed by the Church of Scientology as they continue to promote Hubbard's (lousy) science fiction writing. They literally print millions of his books, then buy them back in bulk to make it appear that they're best-sellers. That should give you an idea of what to expect out of this documentary.

He Never Died (2015)

A unique, somewhat thought-provoking action film

[7/10 · 26 March 2016]

This film is about a man who is basically immortal and who has lived for thousands of years. There a number of other films/TV shows that have used this plot devise including Star Trek and somewhat more relevant to this film, The Man From Earth (TMFE).

Whereas TMFE was much more intellectual and performed more like a play, this film puts the protagonist in an urban setting in order to facilitate it's action-film tropes. TMFE compels the audience to contemplate the ramifications of human immortality; He Never Died doesn't engage in that exercise, choosing instead to focus almost solely on violent action sequences.

He Never Died straddles a fine line between an art-film and an action movie, and for the most part succeeds. There are specific scenes directly inspired by The Terminator; it is clear that the director was aiming for a more visceral film with some heady elements as opposed to a heady film with some token conflict. Most of the credit goes to leads, including Rollins who (as normal) gives a physical performance and is not required to emote. Kate Greenhouse (Cara) is the emotional center of the film and does a great job portraying an empathetic character.

The film has a smart script and is competently directed. It's a really good "nerd" film in that it is smart enough to make you think but with enough violence and action to make it appealing to viewers who respond to super-hero films.

The Dance of Birth (1998 Video)

Mesmerizing

[10/10 · 20 August 2015]

If you like watching videos of pregnant hippy chicks undulating then this film is for you. You can practically smell the patchouli emanating from their unwashed hair. If, for some unknown reason you don't have a fetish for pregnant undulating hippy chicks then this film is best watched whilst high. Very high. Perhaps so high that you're comatose.

For further information, please view the first Wheel of the Worst episode from RedLetterMedia in which they provide a more in-depth analysis. Some highlights of their comments: "The greatest film that David Lynch never made (Jay Bauman)." "A shitfest (Mike Stoklasa)." "An hour of incoherent New Age babble (Rich Evans)."

The Big Space Travel (1975)

Too bizarre for words

[9/10 · 28 September 2014]

Perhaps if you understand Russian this film makes some degree of sense (I doubt it), but the subtitled English version will leave your head spinning. The plot--as far as I can make out--involves three kids (13 year olds) who are chosen (based on their aptitude) to become junior cosmonauts aboard a spaceship. Their back-stories are quite murky, but what little is shown about their interaction with parents is bizarre.

Before you know it, they're in space and the only adult on board has some unexplained sickness and is quarantined. Of course this leads ground control to make one of the 13 year olds "commander" of the mission, with the other two kids as his crew?!? This is played very straight and melodramatic...the gravity of the position (pun intended) weighs heavily on the kid who is portrayed as a cross between Mr Spock and Stalin.

The film is riddled with flashbacks that make little to no sense...go-kart races, running through fields, etc. The subtitles are so poorly mistranslated that you begin to wonder if they're messing with you (incompetence is the most likely culprit). I've seen plenty of Commie Sci-Fi (both Soviet and East German), but this film stands alone in its abject oddity. It's almost as if they attempted to make a kid's version of Solaris whilst retaining all the dark, bizarre elements but on a limited budget. Oh, and there's dancing. And it is glorious.

In summary, this is a great film that any fan of Psychotronic cinema should seek out. It is not "good" in any sense of the word, but it is really entertaining and fascinating. If nothing else, that such a kid's film exists, is proof-positive of the dystopian nature of Soviet life, art, and entertainment.

The Ward (2010)

Mediocre film from an otherwise great director

[6/10 · 5 October 2011]

The Ward is an adequate horror film but could have been directed by anyone; after such a long hiatus one would expect John Carpenter to produce something much, much better.

The film suffers from a fairly weak script (not penned by Carpenter) and the big "surprise" ending is easily deduced very early in the film. As other reviewers here have noted, the "horror" elements are basically comprised of things jumping out variety; if you expect mood and atmosphere (e.g. Escape from NY, The Thing, Prince of Darkness)--THINK AGAIN.

It would appear the film was made on an extremely low budget; 95% of the movie takes place indoors; most of it in just a few rooms. The set design adequately portrays 1966 (the film's setting), however the wardrobe, makeup and hairstyles of the primary actresses are anachronistic and undermine suspension of disbelief.

Let me expand on that last point as it betrays an artistic compromise I was surprised to see JC make; every one of the main actresses is dolled up--in a modern way. Their hair is cut, dyed, streaked, and styled in a completely modern manner. And although they're supposedly in a mental ward, they apparently put copious amounts of makeup on each and every day. And it's not old-style makeup; in one scene, a female lead character is clearly wearing lip gloss. One woman wears Ronsir Shuron (geek) glasses, however her look is much more "hipster" than it is authentic. Oh, the clothes the "patients" wear--let's just say they're colorful and fabulous...not what I'd expect to find in a mid-60s mental ward. One more thing in this area; all the primary women actresses are beautiful. This is a common element in modern "horror" films where style trumps substance; unfortunately I expected JC to make more of an effort to set an atmosphere where I'm less likely to ogle the actresses than I am to be sucked into the nightmare he's trying to portray.

Having seen every Carpenter film (in the theatre) over the past 30 years, I am disappointed that I was forced to watch the master release this nearly direct-to-DVD title. If you're a JC fan, by all means watch this, but don't expect more than a slightly above-average horror film. The biggest disappointment is that the film was directed by Carpenter and I'm left wondering if this is the best he can do, or if he was hemmed in by a small budget and producers who demanded he make a more cookie-cutter type film.

Bastards of the Party (2005)

Blame Whitey

[17 July 2011]

The Good: This was an informative, compellingly structured documentary on the genesis and evolution of LA gangs. The story is told via an oral history by first generation gang members and then proceeds to unfold with more contemporary members (and ex-members). The film contains a high degree of advocacy (especially in the final 30 minutes) that seems reasonable.

The Not so Good: The director clearly lays the blame for gangs and gang violence on Caucasians. Although there is no disputing that institutionalized racism of slavery on up to the end of segregation definitely created gross economic and social injustices, the director fails to make a compelling case that whites directly caused inner city blacks to wage war on each other for decades. The director touches on some of the more salient factors, such as factory jobs (i.e. unskilled labor) opportunities disappearing, but fails to identify that as a root cause. Instead, we are presented with numerous examples of institutional and individual racism--including conspiracy theories involving Iran-Contra, J. Edgar Hoover, LAPD, et.al. Nowhere within this otherwise excellent documentary does the director touch on individual responsibility, personal morals, etc. Gang members (including murderers) are presented as victims of society. The director focuses much attention on the Black Panther and US movement of the 60s and 70s however this narrative is presented mostly to advance a conspiracy theory of how the FBI sought to destroy the groups, ultimately resulting in a lack of political power and community disarray. He goes on to try and blame the influx of drugs into the community as an orchestrated effort by Washington to fund the Contras.

This film is good and worth a viewing. It provides an interesting insight into the evolution of LA gangs as well as how some African Americans perceive history. Unfortunately the director focuses too much time on trying to shift blame away from the violent trigger-pullers who admittedly were, and are, his friends. He is trying to shape history in a way that absolves his community of responsibility for the violence in order to empower them to find a way out of that lifestyle. This film presents that case well (although not compelling to me); hopefully it will help the next generation steer clear of joining gangs.

Karate Cop (1991)

Great $1 DVD

[8/10 · 22 September 2007]

If you enjoy films like "Good Guys Wear Black" or watched "The A-Team" then you might enjoy this little film. It's well worth the $1 you'll likely pay for it at Wal-Mart. It is a cheaply made genre film with no-name actors. The acting and special effects are not great. BUT...it is still an entertaining film.

Karate Cop is definitely a "B movie" but if you enjoy low-budget films, this one is actually quite entertaining. The story is extremely derivative of Mad Max --but who cares? The actors really seem to be having a good time and although the acting quality is all over the map. Filmed on a very moderate (or low) budget, the filmmakers do their best to to deliver a cohesive genre film complete with special effects, action sequences, and even a token "name" actor (David Carradine) in a cameo. Filming was done in and around Stockton, California--mostly in industrial/warehouse areas.

For those who have seen Ron Marchini's film "Omega Cop" (also available for $1 in Wal-Mart) this film is a continuation of that character. In fact, the film's production quality is exactly the same. It wouldn't surprise me if they were filmed simultaneously. Personally I like Marchini. He's no great actor, but neither was Chuck Norris.

The Devil (1981)

Better than The Godfather

[10/10 · 15 March 2006]

First off, let me say that "The Devil" is the feel good movie of the year! It's a roller-coaster ride of thrills and chills! It's a triumph of Chinese Cinema!

After watching this film, I can honestly say it is probably the finest example of Hong Kong gore. I suspect there's actually no plot to this thing--not that it matters. If you like to see one gratuitous scene after another of people vomiting snakes, worms and maggots, then this film is for you! Oh, there's plenty of erupting boils as well. And a rather fey Chinese boy dressed like the long-lost miniature Asian member of the Village People. His name is (and I'm not making this up) "Ding Dong." Mere words just cannot do this masterpiece justice.

Sell all your worldly possessions and go see this film NOW!!!!!

Rocky Jones, Space Ranger (1954)

Great Show

[2 January 2005]

Don't listen to the negative reviews. Rocky Jones Space Ranger is a great series. As basic juvenile oriented entertainment, it is terrific fun. There are spaceships, travels to different planets, weird science, and girls in mini-skirts. As a Science Fiction television show, it is pioneering, and arguably one of the most enduring.

There seems to always be a rift between those who want their sci-fi to be "smart" and those who are looking for action and/or special FX. This series was made before the genre was divided. It's an early 50's sci-fi adventure t.v. show aimed primarily at juveniles--take it for what it is. Despite it's "limitations" it sure seems to have a lot of elements that would later be used by Gene Roddenberry on Star Trek.

Rocky Jones Space Ranger portrays a future where interplanetary travel is routine. The show employs an ensemble cast with a family-like camaraderie. Rocky and his crew (Vena, Bobby, Biff, and Professor Newton) are sent out as emissaries of the United Worlds. The UW is portrayed as a peaceful alliance of planets, yet outside threats from rogue elements & planets require a force of Space Rangers. Diplomacy is always the first resort, but Rocky is definitely able to go fist-city with any bad-guy. Also of note is the fact that this series routinely cast women in important roles as both rulers, villains, and sidekicks--fairly unusual for 1954.

Rocky Jones is a truly enjoyable sci-fi adventure t.v. shows for those young at heart. It's well written, filmed (as opposed to shot on video) and the special effects are actually pretty good for something produced in 1954. If you're not a sci-fi snob, you'll definitely enjoy this great, pioneering show.