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Reviews
Jersey Girl (2004)
Seriously stupid
A seriously stupid movie. What writer thought talking about porn and masturbation in front of your young daughter was a clever pick-up line? Rent "Return to Me" or "Fools Rush In" instead. 3/22/06
The Squid and the Whale (2005)
Lots of parents swearing at the kids
Did the other reviewers neglect to mention that the two supposedly well educated parents constantly used the most foul language imaginable to and about their two early teen children? Or that the younger boy was sexually gratifying himself and spreading the guk all over the library books at school? Be warned before you pay money to watch this movie. 12-1-07
Arthur Newman (2012)
Ho hum. Two golf swings and mangled accents
****Maybe spoilers ahead - caution****
Slow aimless random pointless. It does have some golf swings in it. (My husband says his swing was terrible.)
Why did Avery/Newman fake his death? Why not just change jobs and move to Terre Haute? Why did his son and ex-wife dislike him so? Why so many scenes of eating junk food? Hot dogs, french fries, slurping big gulps. Where did they get that Polaroid instant camera and film? She can't comb her own hair? Ewww increasingly lurid sex scenes.
I was so busy listening to Brits Emily Blunt and Colin Firth mangle their American accents that I couldn't really get into the film. They switched to deep southern in the old newlyweds' bed. But his precise diction "water pressure is superb" kept tripping him up.
Ho hum - not worth the time. Sorry.
The Heat (2013)
Terrible terrible
Warning - Spoilers ahead: Who is writing all the rave reviews here? This is one of the worst movies ever. Cringe-making scenes of drunken writhing and vomiting. Non-stop F-bombs from an obese slovenly woman police officer. Why does her boss tolerate an interminable scene where she comments on how small smaller and smallest his testicles are? Affirmative action? Several scenes of binge drinking, random shooting between the eyes or between the legs of good guys and/or bad guys. Who cared anymore? Then Sandra Bullock gets stabbed in the leg three times with a 2-inch knife blade and says Ow! Ow! a few times. Har! Har! Funny - huh? We saw this at an early matinée on 7-1-13 with only one other older man in the audience. He left halfway thru - didn't even finish his popcorn. Yet the movie finished #2 at the box-office this week. I guess that's where the rave reviews are coming from. Man - am I out of step.