"The last dinosaur" in "The Last Dinosaur" (1977) is not actually "the last dinosaur," but "the hunter of the last dinosaur," who is sad and lonely because nobody thinks he's cool anymore for hunting large predators like "the last dinosaur."
Reviews
3 Reviews
Shark Exorcist
(2014)
A 6 minute movie masquerading as a 71 minute movie
27 April 2019
Nonsensical plot. Terrible sound design. Characters that come and go as they please. This movie is an absolute travesty. This are no redeeming qualities to this film.
The movie starts with a nun who kills someone and then calls satan to use them as her revenge. Then it cuts to a year later and a shark attacks some girls. One of them becomes a shark and then the director gets bored and starts making an entirely different film.
I think that I actually entered hell whilst watching this movie. There is so much wasted time on scenes that don't make any sense. The end of the main plot (shark posesses girl) happens 20 minutes before the end of the film. In the final 20 minutes, you will be sent to the chaos realm where nothing matters and you wish for death. Three seperate sets of new characters are introduced at this point. You were thinking that you would get a conclusion to the story? Well joke's on you: time for more screwing around.
There is not enough alcohol in the known universe to be able to get you through this movie.
Don't watch it. Not even as a gag.
The movie starts with a nun who kills someone and then calls satan to use them as her revenge. Then it cuts to a year later and a shark attacks some girls. One of them becomes a shark and then the director gets bored and starts making an entirely different film.
I think that I actually entered hell whilst watching this movie. There is so much wasted time on scenes that don't make any sense. The end of the main plot (shark posesses girl) happens 20 minutes before the end of the film. In the final 20 minutes, you will be sent to the chaos realm where nothing matters and you wish for death. Three seperate sets of new characters are introduced at this point. You were thinking that you would get a conclusion to the story? Well joke's on you: time for more screwing around.
There is not enough alcohol in the known universe to be able to get you through this movie.
Don't watch it. Not even as a gag.
The Devil's Carnival
(2012)
Heavy-handed and unremarkable--a terrible example of a musical horror.
28 July 2013
Just because your movie brings together two fairly unrelated genres doesn't mean it is free from criticism, and "The Devil's Carnival" is bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.
The film follows the tales of three people as they explore the titular Devil's Carnival and they replay three classic fables. An interesting set-up with a lot of potential, but the writing is so heavy-handed that the message falls flat on its face.
As far as the plot is concerned there are a lot of good ideas, but watching the finished product is like a slow-motion train wreck. Nothing ends-up coming together. It doesn't matter if you have any good ideas for your movie if they aren't executed well. For example, there is this one gatekeeper-type character that keeps banging-on about "the rules" sporadically throughout the movie, but this never ends-up coming to anything and is left as one of many loose ends.
Most of the actors seem to be phoning it in for most of the film, which is particularly sad because there are a few people in this movie that working their hardest at giving a good performance.
All the shots are the same cookie-cutter bore: close up of the singer, cut to carnival audience, back to singer, slowly pan up from ground, repeat. This movie is "safe"--it takes no risks and gets nothing back from the audience as a result.
The music all sounds the same and the lyrics are not clever nor engaging. Rocky Horror Picture Show is a masterpiece of film, and I actually feel bad for having to compare it to this nonsense. Rocky Horror was clever and energetic--Devil's Carnival is just plain boring, with immediately forgettable song-writing and lacking any "spirit" of its own.
"The Devil's Carnival" is a terrible movie. Good makeup and good ideas are completely overshadowed by clunky writing, samey lyrics, unremarkable songs, and terrible acting and execution. Give it a miss.
The film follows the tales of three people as they explore the titular Devil's Carnival and they replay three classic fables. An interesting set-up with a lot of potential, but the writing is so heavy-handed that the message falls flat on its face.
As far as the plot is concerned there are a lot of good ideas, but watching the finished product is like a slow-motion train wreck. Nothing ends-up coming together. It doesn't matter if you have any good ideas for your movie if they aren't executed well. For example, there is this one gatekeeper-type character that keeps banging-on about "the rules" sporadically throughout the movie, but this never ends-up coming to anything and is left as one of many loose ends.
Most of the actors seem to be phoning it in for most of the film, which is particularly sad because there are a few people in this movie that working their hardest at giving a good performance.
All the shots are the same cookie-cutter bore: close up of the singer, cut to carnival audience, back to singer, slowly pan up from ground, repeat. This movie is "safe"--it takes no risks and gets nothing back from the audience as a result.
The music all sounds the same and the lyrics are not clever nor engaging. Rocky Horror Picture Show is a masterpiece of film, and I actually feel bad for having to compare it to this nonsense. Rocky Horror was clever and energetic--Devil's Carnival is just plain boring, with immediately forgettable song-writing and lacking any "spirit" of its own.
"The Devil's Carnival" is a terrible movie. Good makeup and good ideas are completely overshadowed by clunky writing, samey lyrics, unremarkable songs, and terrible acting and execution. Give it a miss.
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