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Reviews
What If...?: What If... Hela Found the Ten Rings? (2023)
Daddy issues: The episode
This episode is basically a revenge fantasy for adults with minds of goth preteens. Hela, a quite complex character in the comics, is a spoiled, shortsighted and unlikeable brat with character arc consisting of "daddy doesn't love me, but everyone else is handing me opportunities left and right despite my constantly hostile, negative and deceptive personality that no one would ever be smitten by in reality". Odin is all powerful until he has to be nerfed drastically for the right outcome for Hela. Wenwu is a firm and principled leader until Hela's plot needs him to be a simp and a sidekick for a woman that didn't have a single instance of honest respect or gratefulness towards him. Well, at least not before she deemed him useful for fighting her daddy. There is a hilariously shallow "lesson" in the laundry hanging scene where, instead of learning about herself and why she needs to change, she is actually encouraged to be primarily guided by rage and vengeance. Everybody is amazed by an angry, arrogant, deceiving, opportunistic and powerless big mouth that learns nothing from her anger and tantrums, and barely achieves any character development and maturity. Well, until the plot needs her to suddenly be compassionate and mature at the very end in order to get everything from evil daddy. I am giving this a three because the animation was good.
Legion: Chapter 12 (2018)
Made me quit the series
Forcing the victim narrative and rationalizing toxic manipulation of a clearly evil character (Sydney) is despicable. A mans life has been ruined by her actions in the worst way possible and David is basically blackmailed to believe and say otherwise, or she will simply say "again" and waste his time (in the middle of a serious event only David can sort out) so her ego can be infinitely stroked with David's admissions of love. She is not a protagonist or "stronger because of her struggles", she is an evil, selfish and sadistic manipulator that I simply cannot blindly accept as some hero of the series. I can only assume she continues to make everything about herself and uses toxic emotional blackmail without anyone calling her out, and I don't feel like watching that for another season and a half.
Samo Guraj - Just Push (2016)
Beautiful story about one man's sacrifice to save the rest of us.
I found this short movie on Youtube and it simply blew me away. Filmed in 2016, the team behind this masterpiece told an almost prophetic story about the ecological issues we are only grasping now. To summarize the story, the Earth is in danger and the majority doesn't care. Only one man sees the inevitable and sets himself on a mission to save us all by smoking every cigarette in existence so the rest of humanity is kept poison-free. The burden he brought on himself turns out to be a bit heavy as our main protagonist can be seen throwing the cigarettes away just to witness one of them materialize in his hand in the very next scene. But his sheer willpower will keep you on toes, desperately cheering and hoping for him to succeed. After sabotaging a car repair shop and preventing city vehicles from properly operating and polluting the planet, he is set to rid us of toxic processed food from our shelves. The task goes flawlessly and after completing his mission he gets really jacked, allowing his inner strength to surface and show on the outside, rising like a phoenix from cigarette ashes.
The Orville: From Unknown Graves (2022)
Flawed, but necessary
I'll start with the bad one. Without spoiling too much right from the start, the memory wipe dilemma is ridiculous. I am not from the future, but I am pretty sure backups will still be a thing in a couple of centuries, especially since they've been used before for the same character. This chipped the perfect score and made this episode a 9.5/10 for me, but I rounded it towards 10 because of the next part.
This episode features a certain subplot that is a healthy social commentary necessary in the current anti-male climate. It is a great example of how short-sighted understanding of one of the sexes can lead to ridiculous, nonsensical society of tyrants. Showing the ship guests the other side of men's affinity for superiority (invention of most of the things surrounding us in order to improve the quality of our lives) is a great lesson for today's woke crew. I also like how the episode acknowledges female capacity for being bad guys in relationships, but also for accepting responsibility, learning from mistakes and growing as human beings. I would not normally reward this type of preaching but this episode brought a balance for a moment in a very hostile TV industry. Very refreshing and to be honest surprising approach coming from a high-profile Hollywood guy.
The Kaylon plot was extraordinary (except for the part mentioned in first paragraph) and showed a new perspective in understanding Kaylon, their existential reasons for what they did and their history of brutal mistreatment. A bit rushed evolution of Kaylon creators' sadistic side in order to fit into a reasonable episode length, but still possible to happen within a couple of generations molded by anti-machine "marketing". You just need to squint a bit and expand those couple of weeks into a couple of decades.
The relationship segments were ok, one was clearly done for comedic effect and the other one was a satisfying (but brief) closure the doctor deserved. I'll overlook the fact that the sudden expression of so many pent up emotions wouldn't probably be so smooth and silver-tongued in reality, but let's not ruin such rare moment with technicalities. One of the best episodes by far.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Cape kino is born
Let's make it clear from the start, this movie is for people with high testosterone. Guys who watched it with their wives' sons will say it's too "macho", "not funny" and "brutal" and will generally out themselves in hate reviews, but that's understandable as this is not some family meme fun. The movie delivers DC style and atmosphere almost perfectly. I was skeptical at first because I though it will try to copy Marvel but I was pleasantly surprised. The movie is brutal, action-packed and intense. Affleck has proved that his casting was perfect, Cavill too. They both successfully brought jaded and cynical Wayne and conflicted Kent to movie screen. Gadot is cute, feminine and fiery when it matters. Eisenberg is the one with a bit different approach to Luthor than we were used to in the comics and I believe it will cause one or two debates, depending on your taste. I'll give this movie 9/10 because there are two slowdowns I won't spoil, but they don't affect the movie much. All in all, it's an improvement to Man of Steel and probably the best cape movie in my opinion. A warm recommendation for any healthy guy.