fairdraconica Reviews

Meg 2: The Trench (2023)

Shockingly soulless

[2/10 · 10 September 2023]

After watching this film I had to turn on something else, just to make sure I was actually still capable of feeling something, anything at all, and there was nothing wrong with me. Because Meg 2 made me feel Nothing. I wasn't even repulsed by boring, shallow, badly-written characters, dialogues or the amount of CGI; I had zero interest or sympathy for any of the human characters, and couldn't care less whether they lived or died, succeeded or not.

I can't even call this film a mindless escapism, because it doesn't provide any. I was in no way entertained, even though I'm open-minded for anything with Jason Statham in it and never expect a masterpiece.

And, no, we should not put up with stuff like this or 'just enjoy it for what it is', like another reviewer insists. Bad products should not be consumed and paid for. AI could've made a much better job than people who created Meg 2. Have a little self-respect and skip this film.

Nefarious (2023)

I didn't expect it to be this good

[10/10 · 22 August 2023]

This film kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. It's incredibly rare for a film that mostly just has talking and very little action to be so engaging and interesting. Sean Patrick Flanery is an absolute star here. His performance is something else.

This film isn't a horror, it's more like a mystical thriller-drama, but I wasn't disappointed in any way, regardless. It's also quite thought-provoking. The negative reactions of some people are quite telling, too; I guess truth hurts. And I'm saying it as an atheist. You don't have to be religious to enjoy Nefarious and see how well it analyses the modern world, albeit briefly.

The only thing that I wouldn't have minded was learning a bit more about the character of Edward (the actual Edward). Maybe a couple of flashbacks to his childhood and adult life, before and after the certain events.

I want more good films like this, please, not the endless wave of badly-written drivel with horrid 'acting'.

Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

If you're a fan of Insidious films, skip this one

[1/10 · 14 August 2023]

I loved every single Insidious film, including The Last Key, so, as a fan, I never expected to be stabbed in the back like this. I don't know who wrote this absolute rubbish called The Red Door, but that person obviously has no respect for the beloved film series, horror films in general or fans for that matter. I'd rather see AI writing my entertainment, seeing how you aren't capable of making anything good anymore.

The only silver lining is Patrick Wilson's acting, which is always superb. But I'd rather watch something else with him in it.

Zero horror, unlikable, badly written and badly played new characters who won't leave the screen even for five damn minutes and bad humour from start to finish. My, you really despise the fans, don't you?

Fast X (2023)

Total disrespect for the fans

[1/10 · 2 July 2023]

Surprisingly, the only interesting and entertaining character in this film is Jacob, played by John Cena. I guess, wrestlers know how to entertain people, which is something that film-makers have, apparently, forgotten.

I expected nothing good after the previous film, but I didn't expect anything this bad. The characters of Dom and Letty are so badly written it hurts. How could you let the main(!) characters drop the ball like this?

Speaking of the ball; the idea with the giant, round bomb that has to detonate in a body of water was stolen from the Batman franchise. Are they even capable of creating anything original anymore?

The rest of the 'family' continues the trend of becoming more and more unwatchable and unbearable with each new instalment.

They probably decided that the cliché of an annoying kid character that tries to behave like an adult for comic relief was a good idea. It wasn't. The kid, by the way, looks like neither of his parents, nor does he look like the baby that Dom brought home years ago. I felt no connection between the boy and the beloved characters of Elena and Dom.

But, of course, it gets worse, because we're subjected to the pure torture of having to tolerate the most talentless and uncharismatic actress this franchise has ever seen... Brie Larson. I wanted to put my head in the oven every time she opened her mouth.

The Cellar (2022)

I recommend to give The Cellar a try and make your own conclusions before you give in to the negative reviews

[8/10 · 23 April 2023]

This film deserves way more than 5,3 that it currently has! I honestly don't understand the low rating, considering how bad the vast majority of horror films of recent years has been, whereas this one is not just watchable, but pretty interesting and atmospheric, too. I loved the idea quite a bit.

It's definitely not flawless (the characters could've been written better), but I've seen much worse horrors where nothing at all happens the whole time.

Realistically, I would've given this film a 7, but I feel like giving more, just because I think what it's got is unfair.

Unless you prefer horrors with blood and gore and don't expect a masterpiece, I highly recommend The Cellar.

The Great (2020–2023)

Childish and disturbing way to spit at another nation's culture and history

[1/10 · 8 April 2023]

Imagine someone mocking and demonising an African country like this. You can't. Because that would result in mass riots. But Eastern Europe, of course, is a fair game.

Not even the characters' origins are accurate. Everything is written to humiliate the Russian culture and people. I watch a lot of films and shows from all over the world, but I have yet to find a non-Western country that dehumanises and disrespects another nation like this, even when it's their enemies.

Just like The Woman King (which is also grossly inaccurate, ludicrous and shows horrible people in a good light), The Great is a "history" lesson for GenZ and other people, who would rather watch a pretty pic with cool costumes than read a book.

Patient Seven (2016)

I'm in a good mood after watching Patient Seven. I'm definitely entertained.

[8/10 · 5 April 2023]

I actually really enjoyed this. It's not as scary as I normally prefer when I sit down to watch a horror film, but it's a fun and entertaining film, which includes several different stories from all over the world. The acting is simply brilliant, Michael Ironside's in particular. You don't often see actors as good as this anymore; he's a true talent and always has been. Jack Plotnick is also very good. I loved the music, too; very atmospheric.

Realistically, I'd give Patient Seven a 7, but the film has a low rating here, which simply isn't fair (because MUCH worse films are rated higher than this), so I'm giving it an 8.

Interestingly, I just saw screenshots of the scenes that I haven't seen in the film. I wonder if there were a lot of things cut out before the release.

Jaws (1975)

Watching this film again has left a bad taste in my mouth and reminded me why I don't like 'creature horrors'

[2/10 · 25 March 2023]

"I truly, and to this day, regret the decimation of the shark population because of the book and the film. I really, truly regret that," Spielberg said during an interview. This is one of those moments when someone realises that they used the power they had for something awful; in this case the genocide of sharks as a direct result of this film. The number of large sharks in the waters east of North America declined by about 50 percent shortly after the release of this film. Pretty sure it caused damage in other parts of the world as well. Perhaps, it could've been avoided if the film had the right message, instead of demonising the entire species of sharks. When a marine biologist (who says he loves sharks) is happy to see trophies of dead animals and is excited about killing them, instead of educating people and informing them that we're a much, MUCH, bigger threat for sharks than the other way round, you know something is wrong.

New Nightmare (1994)

Would've worked much better if it was Robert and Heather against Freddy, not the annoying kid as the main focus

[6/10 · 25 March 2023]

I was wondering why I gave this film a lower score than the other NoES films years ago. So I decided to watch it again, and, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a film breaking the fourth wall, but this didn't exactly work for me, because the attention is mostly on the annoying kid the whole time; though, I admit, the Rex moments are quite touching. Yes, Freddy has used little kids before to gain power, but in the fifth instalment it works much better.

I would've been happy to see Robert against Freddy (or Robert and Heather joining forces against Freddy), maybe as a slight allegory of a person fighting his own demons or just for the entertainment value. The growling kid making faces does nothing for me.

Orphan (2009)

Not a bad film, but watch The Good Son (1993) first

[9/10 · 18 March 2023]

I love this film, but it should also be acknowledged that this is a huge rip-off from the 1993 film The Good Son, to the point that many scenes are very similar; but Orphan is more like a reverse version with a big twist. So I really recommend everyone to see both films.

Interestingly enough, Orphan has several versions (the one they showed in the cinemas is somewhat mild, comparing to the others). One of the most disturbing ones contains the scene at the dentist, but it looks like that version is gone somehow, and I can't find it anywhere now that I no longer have that old DVD.

All in all, Orphan is a solid thriller.

Small Soldiers (1998)

God, I needed this in my life again, more than ever

[10/10 · 16 March 2023]

It's 2023, and this 1998 film is better than the majority of stupid, soulless films they keep throwing at us like gnawed bones and leftovers. And, finally, I have Small Soldiers in my collection, where it belongs.

This film isn't just a mindless fun, it has some amazing character development both for human and toy characters. They all have personalities, and it's brilliant! The humour is very good and clever, too. But the plot is even better.

I thought I was too old to enjoy it, but now that I've watched it again after so many years, I can tell that it wasn't just created for children.

Film-makers just don't make good stuff like this anymore. God forbid Small Soldiers ever gets a crappy remake the film doesn't need.

Scream VI (2023)

Total idiocy

[1/10 · 15 March 2023]

The very beginning was intriguing, but this is where it ends. The only moderately interesting character is Sam (and I'm being generous by saying the word 'interesting'). At least she has some semblance of internal struggles and has to overcome her demons, but that can barely pass for character development. Pretty much everyone else can be easily replaced with cardboard figures. Seeing and hearing the character called Mindy, on the other hand, is like someone scrapping a blade over a chalkboard every time she appears on screen and opens her big mouth. I'm not even surprised they had to force her into Scream 6 as well. You got rid of the beloved character of Dewey in part 5, for the shock value, and this is what you have to offer in his place? Pathetic.

The villains are so badly-written and portrayed it hurts.

The only scary thing in this film is Sam's eyebrows. Congratulations? You've pulled that off, if that was your plan.

Wow, just wow. I didn't expect anything good after seeing Scream 5, but not even my lowest expectations were met. I can honestly confess that I watched this film for free. This is a small consolation at least. People who keep piggybacking famous franchises and turning them into this sort of rubbish don't deserve a penny of my money.

Where have all the talented people gone?

F9: The Fast Saga (2021)

Looks like someone is determined to destroy the legacy of every major franchise in Hollywood

[1/10 · 13 March 2023]

Look, I like this type of films. This is what I need after an exhausting shift at work. I enjoyed the majority of previous F&F films (not all of them, mind you), even Hobbs & Shaw, because the actors had a great chemistry and the story was entertaining. F&F films have always been over the top, but it was in a fun, entertaining way. F&F-9, however, is just barely watchable. I wanted the franchise to continue, unlike many other reviewers here, but if this is how it's going to be now, I don't want it either.

The film has some redeeming qualities, but they don't save it.

I'm sick and tired of Roman by now (it's been there for a long time, but now I just can't stand him at all). I wish they took Jesse and Leon again for a change. Are they not Dominic's family anymore? They already got rid of Vince, too. I'm glad that at least Han is back (because Shaw being a part of the family, when everyone thought he was responsible for what happened to Han, was bizarre), but the way they brought Han back was just... underwhelming. And they even had to cast CardiB of all people! A non-musician and an even worse 'actress', playing a ludicrous character. A new low. Sorry, but, no, thanks.

Pearl (2022)

No heart, No soul, No brain, No talent

[2/10 · 27 February 2023]

This film is a bland, boring waste of time. I hated everything about it. People who foam at the mouth, screaming how perfect this film is probably only care about pretty, colourful pics and nothing else. Not only Goth is a horrible screenwriter, but her acting in this particular film is horrendously bad.

I wasn't particularly impressed by X, it was just okay to me, but this prequel is just worse than anything I imagined it would be, even though I was quite open-minded about it. Calling it a horror film isn't just inaccurate, it's deliberately misleading. It's a boring drama with a lot of bright colours. And that's all what it is. But, at the same time, for a drama, it has no soul or depth either.

If they plan to make another prequel, sequel or anything else related to this idiocy, I will absolutely skip it.

M3GAN (2022)

I could've enjoyed this film more

[7/10 · 26 February 2023]

I really loved the satire, directed at the modern society; very accurate. And, I'm sure it's been said many times before, the film raises some very important questions. Both the idea and the execution are pretty good.

But, as soon as a film introduces the murder of an animal, a beloved pet at that, I, personally, start losing interest, as well as sympathy for the characters. In this case, not only such a thing happened, but another, supposedly good, character (the aunt) was dead set on having that animal killed prior to that. And, shock collar, really?

In The Fly there was supposed to be a scene where the main character has to kill a violent hybrid of a cat and a monkey, but the scene never happened, because the director (if I'm not mistaken it was either director or a producer) decided against it and strongly believed that as soon as you include something like that, many people just stop caring about your character. And that was back in 1986.

Gorgeous (1999)

Jackie is brilliant, everything else isn't

[2/10 · 25 February 2023]

A few days back, I realised that this was one of a very few Jackie Chan films that I hadn't seen before, so I decided 'to right the wrong' and watch it, because I'm a big fan. The romance part didn't scare me off initially, because I knew it was also an action film, so it had to be fun, right? Wrong! I didn't expect it to be so bad. I only give this 2 out of 10, because Jackie never disappoints. But I literally had nothing else to enjoy about this nerve grating film! It wasn't worth two hours (it felt like very long two hours).

The main heroine is an annoying, obnoxiously loud Mary Sue who can speak with dolphins and suddenly knows how to drive a motor boat. I don't know how old she's supposed to be, but she acts like a 10-12 y.o. At best. I honestly don't understand how that's supposed to be 'adorable'. It's funny that she accuses her suitor back at home of being immature. It doesn't help that the two main characters have zero chemistry either.

I wish someone just made a montage of action scenes (this film has very few of them anyway), because I honestly wouldn't bother with anything else.

Swimfan (2002)

I really enjoyed this yandere film

[7/10 · 25 February 2023]

This film was probably made for people in their late teenage years/early 20s, but I'm 40 and this fact in no way prevented me from enjoying it, which surprised me. Actually, I enjoyed it more than Fatal Attraction and other stalking films (it's definitely better and more human than Crush). This one doesn't have any hurt animals (my biggest turn off). I had no problem sympathising with all the characters who got hurt by this deeply disturbed yandere; not just the main character who had managed to turn his life around, only for someone to threaten to take it from him, but also his girlfriend, the antagonist's cousin and other people who happened to be in her way.

Waterworld (1995)

Just saw it for the first time, and enjoyed it more than the majority of modern, more 'successful', films

[8/10 · 21 February 2023]

The film is not perfect at all, not even close, yet it has atmosphere and soul that not many films have anymore. I watched the Ulysses cut, and when I realised that it was three hours long, I wasn't sure it would be worth it, because I don't really feel like wasting so much time on things that can potentially disappoint me. And with all the negative things that I'd read about this film before, I had plenty of doubts. Plus, I can't say I'm Costner's biggest fan.

The first half an hour I was just mildly interested, but then, little by little, I was drawn in. It was nice not to be preached at, too. You're just there to watch an adventure and be entertained, and I couldn't be more grateful for it. I also really loved the music.

The Red Violin (1998)

I adore everything about this film, except for the ending

[7/10 · 21 November 2022]

It's a pure delight to follow the path of the Red Violin from its creation, as well as to watch the way she touches people's lives throughout the centuries and leaves her mark on them. The music, the cinematography, the acting were all beyond brilliant. While there are some unbelievable moments (the violin would've lost her red colour very quickly), I have no problem ignoring those moments and simply enjoy the ride. My only problem is the ending. I wish it was different.

They just don't write stories like this any longer, let alone build them so beautifully (the tarot part and other flashbacks of the past, for example). You watch films like this one and wonder where all these brilliant writers have disappeared.

Outlander (2014– )

Saeasons 1&2 are brilliant, S3 completely relies on ludicrous coincidences, the rest of the show is just okay

[6/10 · 20 November 2022]

I wish I could give this show more than 6, but I can't. The music is amazing, the actors are all very good, the scenery, the costumes... but the writing, from time to time, becomes unbelievably bad. I was just waiting for the show's spirit to come back to what it used to be in the first two seasons. But it never happened. The entire idea of season 3 barely holds up on a string. Friends and enemies repeatedly(!) meet each other in completely different parts of the world. The ship of smugglers arrives to that small island exactly when it does (it had had years, but, no, it had to happen exactly when it did). After the shipwreck, the characters find themselves exactly where they do. I could go on and on and on. The coincidences are not just convenient, they are plain ridiculous, and if your entire story relies of them it's a clear sign of a bad writing. Claire, who's supposed to have a strong moral compass, throws a fit at a slave market, yet, keeps considering a character who brutally killed two innocent men in front of her very eyes (and many more behind the scenes) a friend. And only when she realises that the 'friend' is after her daughter does Claire, finally, turn on said 'friend'. I have no problem with violence in films/shows, whatsoever, but every few episodes the characters, Claire in particular, gets either raped or there's a rape attempt, a 'tradition' started in the very first episode. Looks like the writers of the show have a huge thing for it. I don't. By the end of the fifth season they, apparently, decided that they hadn't written graphic rape scenes for a while, so they 'had to' make up for the lost time. The abundance of prolonged, sex scenes gets old very soon, too. The last few seasons are mediocre, even though I enjoyed the characters of Ian, Marsali, Brianna and Roger, and their stories were a breath of fresh air, because I was tired of everything else. So far, there are six seasons, and I know there's another one coming, but I'm not interested, and I have no intention to watch it, because I've wasted more than enough time already.

Halloween Ends (2022)

This is by no means a good film, but it's definitely an improvement from the abomination called Halloween Kills

[6/10 · 26 October 2022]

As interesting as it would've been to see someone driven to such a dark path, there's only one Michael Myers. Just like any other iconic character Michael Myers is not just a mask. There's only one Spider-Man, and it's Peter Parker. There's only one Captain America, and it's Steve Rogers. That's something that modern writers, apparently, can't understand, trying hard to push the idea that anyone can be anything. Sorry, but no. Our heroes and antiheroes are not just masks. At lest, by the end of this film the mask goes back where it belongs. After the horrendously bad waste of time (and everything else) called Halloween Kills, I had extremely low expectations. Maybe that's why I found Halloween Ends watchable. But that's it: it's not the worst in the franchise, it's not among the best either, it's just watchable. 2018-2022 Halloween films are just not good. They are forgettable, and I'd rather re-watch Rob Zombie's 2007 remake or the original films before(!) H20.

Hellraiser (2022)

The lack of Doug Bradley and the unlikable main character are just part of the problem

[3/10 · 22 October 2022]

The atmosphere isn't bad at all, but this is where it ends. The cenobites are just bland and lack everything their predecessors from the early films had (some are plain ludicrous, and not in a good way). Damn, I'm such a big fan of the earlier films, I love parts 1 to 7 included (yes, Deader and Hellseeker, and Bloodline, and Inferno, too)! Which means I'm not that hard to please, because I love Hellraiser universe so much. And, wow, they used the original Christopher Young's music. Why? You disrespect everything else, you claim for this film to be 'original' and 'groundbreaking' and 'better', you replaced Hell's Priest, the beloved character, but still dare to use that music? Could that be because you're not capable of creating anything new that's also good? It didn't take long for me to get tired of the main character, too. This film could've been a bit more watchable if they found a better, more interesting lead and brought Doug Bradley back. I would've forgiven at least some of the bad stuff for that. You had a huge fanbase you could've made happy (happy clients pay and want more of what you can offer), but, obviously, this film was not made for the fans. If you are trying to attract a completely new audience and get rid of the old one, then, okay, I, personally, won't be here for your new products. Replace a good story and well-loved canonical concepts with modern tendencies and you get "Hellraiser" 2022.

The Tower (2012)

Bad writing. Annoying characters and animal abuse as a comic relief

[3/10 · 3 October 2022]

I really enjoyed a few Korean disaster films, such as Tunnel and Pandora, so I decided to watch the Tower, thinking that it would be just as good. I was very wrong. Pros: the cinematography is pretty decent. A few disaster scenes are impressive. Cons: The majority of the characters are unbearable (except for firefighters). When annoying children are intentionally made to act and talk like adults, it's a very clear sign of a poor writing. When adults in turn act like little overexcited children, it's equally ludicrous. The wealthy female 'villain' is comically bad, but as an act of revenge for her saying something mean, her little dog gets violently kicked by a supposedly good character, and it's supposed to be... what, funny? A woman getting insulted and slapped on her behind by her fiance when they are trying to escape the lift isn't much better. The Tower may have some cliches, but I'd take cliches over unbelievable farce happening quite a lot in this film. The last quarter of the film is surprisingly decent, but I can't say it makes up for the rest of it.

The Night House (2020)

People who call this film scary have never seen ANY horror film before, I assume

[5/10 · 30 September 2022]

A few suspenseful moments, and that's it. Nothing scary whatsoever, no real story. Many things we see lead to literally nothing, which has always been and will always be a sign of bad writing. The film throws us several bones, but, in the end, nothing happens. It's a drama about a depressed woman, who lost her husband, and now she just drinks a lot, discovers a few unexpected things about him, and then.... nothing. I actually had my own ending in my head when she found what her husband hid underneath that house (which would've made any person in the world call the police, immediately, but not this heroine, nope), and I expected something shocking and disturbing (in a good way that any horror fan appreciates), and at least a little bit logical. It could've been a rabbit hole of discoveries that could've led us to uncovering the true personality of the husband by the wife and the police (that should've been involved, but wasn't). I was disappointed, and I really could've watched something else, something that wasn't made in the creatively bankrupt 20s.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (2008–2009)

I have mixed up feelings about this show

[6/10 · 28 September 2022]

As a life-long fan of pre-Genesys Terminator films, I finally decided to watch this show, not expecting much from it. I totally enjoyed season 1. I, normally, don't warm up to new characters easily, but I did like Cameron, Charley and, to a lesser degree, Derek. Cromartie is a very interesting antagonist, too. But season 2 wasn't so enjoyable to me. Some parts looked ridiculous, like the episode where Cameron forgets she's a cyborg, which, in my opinion, interferes with her, otherwise pretty interesting, character development. Another thing... I have nothing against religion, but there's time and place for everything, and forcing it on AI is definitely not it. Completely unnecessary. What also made me feel bored and, at times, annoyed were the characters of Riley and Jesse. I understand it's a human drama, apart from being sci-fi, but there are just too much of these two, and I'd rather see more scenes with Skynet, cyborgs, etc. We were supposed to start feeling for these new characters, understand them better, and how it all ended for the two was, for once, not boring, but by the time it happened I was already tired of them. And, finally, John Connor seems to forget at times that he's already had a cyborg protector and companion before. I wish it was mentioned more, because how on Earth can you not think about it? Why not remember him now and then in a conversation, and maybe compare him and Cameron in some situations? For example, in T3 (as flawed as it is) John remembers his T-800 (aka 101) from T2 very warmly; he's such a big part of John's life that it leads to a tragedy in the future, because the great John Connor loses his cautiousness. But in the long hours of The Chronicles he's barely mentioned at all. Why couldn't they give more of that iconic character to nostalgic fans? I give this show a 6, because I can tell they did try. And, of course, I appreciate that they didn't destroy and re-write everything that came before it (unlike the abominations called Genesys and The Dark Fate).