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The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live (2024)
Rick Grimes' Legacy
Spoilers follow for both "The Ones Who Live" as well as The Walking Dead graphic novels:
I'll fully admit, as a fan of the comics that began watching the show with great anticipation, I was disappointed at how much (and how fast) the show deviated from the graphic novels. Not so much the overall story (Atlanta, then Hershel's farm, the Governor/prison, Alexandria/Negan, etc) but the characters. The show completely ruined Andrea, killed off Dale way too early, killing off Carl was an unforgivable mistake (because Chandler Riggs wanted to go to college. You couldn't work around his schedule?). The show added WAY too many new characters we never cared about (the massive exceptions being Daryl and Carol, obviously).
What started as excellent writing on the tv series in the first few seasons devolved into schlock by the end. What did remain consistently great was Andrew Lincoln's portrayal of Rick Grimes. Despite what the producers say, or how much other characters are loved, Rick Grimes IS the main character of The Walking Dead. He's hands down the most complex, interesting, and just plain badass character in the entirety of TWD universe. So when it was announced that Andrew Lincoln wanted out of the show, I was very disappointed. I didn't blame him at all, the show was dragging on needlessly and America isn't his home. He didn't want to live here 9 or 10 months out of the year.
All I wanted was a "good end" for Rick Grimes in the show. As readers of the graphic novels will know, Rick dies in the second-to-last issue with little fanfare, gunned down by some teenager who's angry about a measure of justice meted out by Rick upon the kid's father. What we got in season 9, episode 5 was Rick Grimes (seemingly) sacrificing himself to save 3 communities of people, including his wife, daughter, and (unknown to him) his unborn son by blowing up the bridge he worked so hard for, to stop a massive horde of walkers. I gotta say, if he had died there, I would've been satisfied. He went out like a hero, and if that had been the last we'd ever seen of Rick, I would've been fine.
But of course, the viewers were shown that Rick survived and was whisked away by the CRM helicopter. I tried to watch a few more episodes of TWD, but it... stunk. And without its main character, it was basically unwatchable. With Rick's "death", the Walking Dead died too.
What followed was a 6 year (!) wait for the Executive Producer Scott Gimple-promised series of 3 Rick Grimes movies (which of course ended up being this 6 episode miniseries).
I'll keep an already rambling review short as I can to finish: The Ones Who Live isn't perfect, but it was pretty darn good. 6 hours of basically Rick and Michonne finding each other, escaping from the CRM, and generally being badasses. Rick Grimes is finally back. We got to find out where he was, what he was doing, and where he ended up. Rick and Michonne escape the CRM, get back to Judith and RJ, and walk off into the proverbial sunset, all together for the first time in 6 years. I'm thrilled the producers/writing team allowed Rick to have a happy ending, in a universe marred by death and horrifying human nature. Is the end of Rick's story entirely realistic? .... Probably not. But can't the good guy win just ONCE in a while? After 11 seasons, one miniseries, countless deaths and obstacles, the answer for Rick and Michonne, thankfully, is yes.
As the last episode ended and the credits rolled, I turned to my girlfriend and said emphatically (and loudly): "AND NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED TO RICK GRIMES OR HIS FAMILY, EVER AGAIN."
Thanks for letting the good guys win for once.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
I really tried.
2001: A Space Odyssey is one long, boring, pointless movie.
I tried. I really tried to understand the praise. I watched it 3 separate times at various points in my life, each time by myself, with no distractions (no phones, no breaks, etc). I gave it my full attention and tried to understand just what people see in this movie. I've looked up several synopses, breakdowns, interpretations online to see other people's perspectives on 2001, and what they thought it meant, or meant to them.
Not a single explanation or interpretation held any weight for me. The visuals are marginal at best (even for the time), the story is about as disjointed and nonsensical as a 11 year old's diary. The music adds nothing. The monolith? The monkey-men? When a movie starts by not making any sense like 2001, you know the rest isn't going to get much better.
I'm a huge scifi fan. Everything, too, not just the common fare like Star Wars. From the 50s until now, there's hundreds of great scifi films I love to watch, over and over. I love scifi because it gives you something else no other genre does. It gives you a glimpse into the future, of possible lives and worlds we'll never live to see. Something special, wonderful, sometimes horrifying, but always interesting.
2001 does none of these things. It was boring nonsense when it was released in 1968, and it's boring nonsense almost 60 years later. It's a vastly overrated film. And I've held for years that for most people who claim to love 2001, who tout as an all time classic, it's because they think they're supposed to. To fit in.
Well, you go ahead and watch your boring nonsensical movie. I gave it every chance in the book. 2001: A Space Odyssey is bad.
Castlevania: The Endings (2021)
I was in absolute awe.
When I first watched this episode... I couldn't believe what I was seeing on screen. The complexity of the fighting in this episode somehow tops everything we've seen in Castlevania up to this point.
I won't spoil anything, but the second to last fight between some of the major characters... my jaw was literally dropped. If you had walked in the room and seen my face, you'd think I'd just seen a ghost. I've never seen animation look so fluid, or beautiful.
And the final fight... my GOD. It was as if all the bad video game adaptations of the past had been sacrificing themselves for years, devoid of absolutely anything of quality, being intentionally bad, just so Castlevania could take all that potential and use it all up in under 30 minutes.
Nothing I've ever seen in animation has even come close to the complexity, fluidity, brutality, and beauty that Castlevania as a whole (and this episode in particular) has brought to the screen. This is a masterpiece of animation. Period.
Hellboy (2019)
1 minute, 58 seconds.
The length of the intro, that's how long I made it. So cheap looking, it looks like a kid filming in his backyard. Overbearing narration. Milla Jovovich absolutely chewing the scenery.
No, I didn't finish it. How could I? It was garbage from the jump. After watching Guillermo Del Toro lovingly craft (adapt) a wonderful, colorful, slightly campy world in his Hellboy 1 & 2, we got this? Who asked for this? We wanted Hellboy 3 to round out the trilogy.
And it's a shame, too. Because David Harbour is a good actor, and seems like he could carry the role well. Even replace Perlman, who's well into his 70s at this point.
Forgettable trash. I regret the 2 minutes I watched. I'll never get them back.
The Last of Us: Long, Long Time (2023)
Great episode, but...
Almost a complete waste of time in the scope of the season. Joel and Ellie had maybe 10 minutes of screen time, 15 tops.
The other hour was taken up by an admitted wonderful tale of Bill and Frank (largely changed from the game but it worked well). While it was touching, sad, happy, and interesting, it did very little to further Joel and Ellie's relationship with each other, which is the ENTIRE POINT of the story.
I know there's still 6 episodes left, but if you're familiar with the game you'll know there's so many little moments between Joel and Ellie they NEED to hit. Otherwise, their relationship is going to feel incredibly forced.
I have no doubt this first season will end exactly as the game does.... but are the emotions going to be EARNED? I hope so. But I'm getting nervous.
A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)
Everything you could want out of a sequel.
A Christmas Story (1983) is a certified Christmas classic (despite it's inauspicious beginning as a commercial flop). Ralphie's BB gun quest, The Old Man, the leg lamp, the Christmas hijinks, the fantasy sequences... untouchable as far as fun holiday movies go.
How could a sequel ever hope to match up? Most sequels commit the cardinal sin of copy-and-paste with the exact same recycled jokes and situations.
A Christmas Story Christmas delivers a new story, having callbacks to the original without repeating the same jokes or feeling stale. It certainly helps having most of the original cast back (although Darren Mcgavin is irreplaceable, ACSC realizes this and doesn't even attempt to fill that emotional space within its story). Recasting Mrs Parker was, as it happens, a necessity given Melinda Dillon's retirement. But the actress playing Mrs Parker does a fantastic job in the role and is responsible for a number of genuinely funny and touching moments throughout the movie. The newcomers (Ralphie's wife and children) are likeable and well written. Original ACS characters/actors Flick and Schwartz return and are used to great affect in the story, giving Ralphie a sounding board for his holiday woes.
The story of ACSC largely centers around the passing of The Old Man, and Ralphie's emotional response to it and having to fill his shoes regarding Christmas responsibilities. I won't go too into detail here, but his journey to acceptance of his death and remembrance of The Old Man is legitimately touching and moving, while never getting too heavy (this is a comedy/holiday movie, after all).
Overall, a sequel to a classic that's better than anyone ever expected it to be, or had any chance to be. And it only took 39 years to get here!
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Rock bottom.
Listen, Chris Rock is one funny, talented comedian. But he cannot (and did not) carry this movie. He can't pull off "grizzled cop" any more than I can pull off an hour of stand up comedy.
Bad story, bad dialogue/writing, worse acting, and a killer literally everyone saw coming 20 minutes into the movie. But the absolute worst offense Spiral makes is having nothing to do with Jigsaw.
Now, I get that it's supposed to be a "reboot" (Hollywood slang for "we've run out of original ideas"). But when you *completely* ignore Jigsaw's legacy (and indeed, the legacy of the Saw franchise) and pay it only credit in name only... you end up with Spiral. Just a poorly written mess that never should've gotten past the pitch stage. It truly is a sad copycat of the Saw franchise, much like the killer in Spiral is of John Kramer. Even "Jigsaw" (2017), while not a stellar entry in the franchise, followed a proven formula and paid homage to what made the original 7 (as a whole) great.
Lionsgate: let this one die. You had a great decade of (fairly) well written movies that wrapped up neatly.
Jurassic Park III (2001)
A short, simple, but fun romp.
People like to rag on Jurassic Park 3, but honestly it's way better than it had any right to be. And it's better than The Lost World, too! (Not a very high bar, though)
I'll admit, JP3 probably wouldn't work as well if Dr. Grant (the always bankable Sam Neill) wasn't the headliner. But he is, so it does. Neill brings his character's experience and grumpiness to Isla Sorna this time, tricked into going by a desperate couple trying to find their son who was lost weeks earlier during an ill-fated parasailing tour near the island's coast.
William H Macy is a welcome addition to the franchise, playing the meek but determined father. Tea Leoni is a bit... annoying in her role. But it's not her fault, the character is written to be shrill and excitable. The real standout here (besides Neill) is Alessandro Nivola, playing the Grant's young assistant. Brash but well intentioned, his motivations get the humans into a fair bit of trouble. And when that trouble involves dinosaurs... oh boy.
A good mix of CGI and practical models are found in JP3 (although never enough practical models for my tastes), and bring the dinos to life convincingly. The movie's "big bad", newcomer Spinosaurus, is absolutely terrifying, and you feel its' presence every time it rears its' ugly head. The sound design was great too, as a whole generally, but for the Spinosaurus' otherworldly roar in particular.
Overall, JP3 ticks all the right boxes: (mostly) likeable characters, scary dinosaurs, decent (if unimpressive) story that never takes itself *too* seriously.
I've always said, Lost World failed because it was a bloated mess that tried way too hard to be THE next summer blockbuster, by butchering its smart source material for the sake of style over substance. JP3, despite it's simple story and suspiciously short run time succeeds because it always knew what it was: a fun, popcorn action flick full of scary dinos.
When a simple movie's made well with a clear direction in mind, it can turn out much better than more expensive, bloated efforts. Jurassic Park 3 certainly takes the cake over Lost World in almost every way for this reason.
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
Impressive achievement.
This is the movie that killed Star Wars. Absolutely decimated established characters by taking a left turn into the nearest star, simply for shock value.
Luke is a coward, for some unexplained reason which is entirely against the core of his character for the last 40 years. Bombs are dropped in space. The entire movie is spent chasing the Republic forces until they... run out of fuel. Yyyyeahhhh... because that's a thing that happens.
Rose and Finn spend a solid hour of the movie on a casino planet, riding not-horses and trying to free slaves (you read that correctly) to find a hacker that'll help them defeat the First Order, in a side story that's SO much worse than anything the prequels ever attempted. Only to have the hacker betray them the second they get on the First Order ship. So... you literally just had an hour of film to waste? Got it.
Phasma dies in a throw-away fight with Finn, having contributed absolutely nothing to either episode 7 or 8, losing to an inferior fighter with about 20 years LESS experience.
Snoke dies BEFORE a throw-away fight with Kylo and Rey, having contributed very little to either episode 7 or 8.
Finn attempts to die in a moment of heroic self sacrifice to save the remaining 16 people in the Republic forces, only to be stopped by Rose slamming her ship into his (likely should have killed Finn anyway), and instead of killing the doomsday machine, gets told "we have to SAVE the people we LOVE, not kill what we hate". ....Do.... do you not know how a war works, Rose?
Luke force projects himself across the galaxy (not an actual thing) to distract Kylo for about 3 minutes, then just up and dies.
And with Luke, dies Star Wars. Truly an impressive achievement, Ruin Johnson. You killed Star Wars in a little over 2 hours.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)
Decent bones, but... laser guided attack raptor.
This movie... stinks. Which is a shame, because almost all of the characters introduced in the previous movie (as well as the new ones, introduced here) are likeable. Even the "bad guys" such as Mills and Wheatley have that "love to hate them" quality.
The effects are pretty good overall, but CGI can still NEVER match up to the real, physical models pioneered way back in 1993. And because you KNOW they're CGI, they always have a fake quality to them you can't quite put your finger on. Bring back the rubber models in the future, please! Give the actors something to act against.
The writing leaves a bit to be desired. How much longer is Hollywood going to shove the "I'm a woman, you can't tell me what to do" trope down our throats? There's a scene where Wheatley (an experienced mercenary/handler) and Owen (experienced raptor wrangler and animal behaviorist) attempt to warn Zia (the dino vet) to be careful going after Blue. She snaps off an "I know how to take care of myself". Um.... you sure? Because she just admitted in the previous scene she's never had any real world contact with ANY dinosaur, let alone a raptor. You have no weapons training. No field experience to speak of. Misplaced bravado doesn't translate to "years of raptor handling expertise". Stupid situations/lines like this mar Fallen Kingdom, and today's movies in general. Side note, "people" complained that Zara didn't "deserve to die" in Jurassic World. So the writers of Fallen Kingdom promised "only bad guys get eaten in this one". Uh... wtf? They're WILD ANIMALS. They kill to feed, for defense, it doesn't matter if someone is good or bad! Did Gennaro deserve to die in JP? Muldoon? Ray Arnold? Eddie in Lost World? No, but they got killed anyway and we felt bad about it because we liked them (well, maybe not Gennaro). Because they're WILD ANIMALS, and they don't have a moral compass. They just know hunger or defense! Ridiculous writing. Grade school stuff.
But I think the biggest problem of the movie is: the cartoonishness of the bad guys is laughable. The fact that they didn't have thick, black moustaches to twirl and monacles to adjust while cackling was surprising, given the ridiculous plot. Selling dinosaurs to the highest bidder? Do you honestly think you're not going to get caught, when YOUR dinosaurs turn up all over the globe, owned by Russian billionaires and paramilitary groups and start murdering people WHEN they escape? You really think the UN isn't going to come after your assets (aka the millions made selling the dinos) and send you to prison forever for violating international laws?
And the parallel plot.... the -dear god- laser guided attack Indoraptor. Just.... no. Why? Who thinks of this stupid crap? The Jurassic Park/World series' biggest problem has always been the portrayal of the carnivores (especially the raptors) as "evil". They're always out for blood, endlessly chasing the humans with nothing but murder on their minds. Predators DON'T hunt when they're not hungry. Ever. It's a complete waste of their energy. The.... (oh god. I just threw up a little bit) Indoraptor only further exacerbates that lie. A designed murder machine, mentally unstable, and yet somehow laser guided. It stalks the protagonists relentlessly for the last third of the movie, not because it was told to, but for it's own amusement/cruelty. The introduction of the Indominus Rex was supremely stupid writing in Jurassic World and followed that same idiotic pattern of the "evil carnivore". The Indoraptor just makes it much worse. For every step forward (Blue being accustomed to Owen due to their lifelong bond, yet still being a WILD ANIMAL and not controllable), the series takes 2 steps back (Indos).
Finally, the ending... what to say? They needed a reason to make a 3rd Jurassic World movie. Because after Claire and Owen make the painful, but correct decision to let all the dinosaurs die and correct Ingen's genetic mistakes once and for all, 4 (count them, FOUR) responsible adults in the room allow a 10 year old girl to free them because she feels sad about it. Releasing them into the wild and forever altering the ecology of the WORLD.
You can't make this stuff up. Well, you can, actually. If you're a hack writer lacking a basic education, common sense, or any shred of feeling of what Jurassic Park used to be.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
It's just a whole lot of fun to watch.
Especially when compared to the garbage trilogy (aka 7-9) it was released amidst.
Alden Erenreich does an excellent job putting his own spin on Han Solo, while still remaining true to the core of the character. So he's not Harrison Ford. No one but Ford can be. Did you really want to see a 75 year old Ford de-aged in this movie? (Not to mention he never would have taken on the role in the first place, given his attitude towards SW in general). Erenreich plays Han with an overly cocky youthfulness, a Han who's not yet as cynical and learned as his New Hope self, and it WORKS. I don't care what other people say. If some lines fall flat, I'd blame the script before I blamed his delivery.
The rest of the cast all carve out their place as well, from a somewhat surprisingly fitting performance from Harrelson (Woody in Star Wars? It worked!), to a slightly lost looking Emilia Clark (still, she did fine). Bettany is a bit wasted as the antagonist, could've used a little more screen time to round out his character. Still, a menacing man whose threats carry weight. And Glover as Lando? Casting doesn't get much better than that.
Solo: A Star Wars Story might not feature the Young Han we grew up reading about in the novels, but I think this film does the character justice as far as an origin story goes. The several action set pieces are varied and exciting, especially the infamous Kessel Run!
Solo is by no means a perfect film. But if you can't let go of the little things here and just enjoy a couple hours of fun, you're probably one of those losers who thought The Last Jedi was "brilliant". Ugh.
Give me Solo any day.
The Expanse: Babylon's Ashes (2022)
What a mess.
Loved the show to death. Too bad it's the show that was killed. Best scifi series since BSG, but this last season was unbelievably rushed and half baked.
"What about the protomolocule?" we asked.
"Dont worry about it!" the producers said.
Ugh. The Inaros/Belter storyline was finished okay at best (still incredibly rushed). But so many unanswered questions. And like everyone else pointed out, why even include the Laconia sequences if it we aren't even going to get a chance to see where it goes? What a mess. I hope against hope Netflix or whoever can pick it up and finish the damn story.
Wolfenstein: The New Order (2014)
Came out of left field - Excellent game!
Very minor story spoilers, if you've not played. Nothing regarding the ending. Mostly non-boss enemies you'll face.
Early on a couple years ago when I heard they were making a new Wolfenstein I wasn't very excited. Return to Castle Wolfenstein was okay back in the Xbox days. Nothing special, pretty average shooter. Wolfenstein (2009) was again, nothing special, pretty choppy gameplay, average acting.
When I saw "The New Order" trailer, I was immediately intrigued by the "what if" scenario of the game. What IF the Nazis had WON World War 2? What would the world become? Would it be a utopia paradise of sunshine und rainbows, fair haired children mit blue eyes and good German values? Sauerkraut und bier?!
Or would it become a hell on Earth, a military state where the sick, old and "impure" are rounded up for slaughter and anyone who doesn't tow the Nazi line are put down like dogs?
I think we know the answer... Thank heavens it's only a game!
Right from the first level (which took me more than an hour to complete, on the hardest difficulty - Uber) and the beginning credits rolled, I knew this wasn't going to JUST be a typical shooter. There was something more happening, here. BJ, this hulking Captain America war hero actually has a story? A soul? Yep, and it's actually a pretty deep one.
Through some flashbacks/dreams and a bit of self narration by the always enjoyable Brian Bloom, we find out a good deal more about BJ, his life, and what drives him. And of course the cut scenes also give us both blood-boiling fits of his rage and brute power, but also his softer side that just wants this damn war to be over. He just wants what every soldier wants, to go HOME. To live, to love.
But this is war, and to quote Mr. Perlman: "War? War never changes."
The actual gameplay/shooting mechanics are extremely smooth and intuitive. Best feeling shooter I've played since Call of Duty 4, and I play a LOT of shooters. Not too loose, like CoD has become, not too tight like most other shooters. Good cover/lean system. Action ranges from extremely fast and chaotic to quiet moments, where you can plot your slaughter of the next group of Nazi scum. There is also a pretty solid stealth mechanic to the game as well, where you can sneak up behind any common soldiers (not the Supersoldaten, of course) and execute them silently (but always gruesomely. No mercy from BJ Blaskowicz!).
In addition, early on you gain the ability to throw knives to kill people at range. Surprisingly helpful IN combat if you run out of bullets and need just a second more to get back behind a wall. But nothing is more satisfying than seeing a soldier round a corner you didn't expect, having him start to yell out in fear only to be silenced forever by your spinning knife (fittingly enough, a stolen Nazi dagger).
Combat on its face is a simple concept. You mostly fight common soldiers and commanders. Kill or be killed. But the commanders can call for reinforcements if alarmed, and will spinelessly run as far away from you as possible, making it that much harder for you to find and end them, thus stopping the alarm. Otherwise, soldiers just keep on coming. Sounds annoying, but it isn't. I never felt overwhelmed by the number of additional soldiers called in by the cowardly commanders, but they certainly added a challenge. The whole point of the commander-alarm system is to make you stop and think about your plan of attack. You can certainly go in guns-a-blazing and try to take out the commander (or 2) quick before he has a chance to shriek for help. But the game is at it's most satisfying when you stalk them room to room, just waiting for that perfect moment to sink your knife into their ear-hole. Or throat. Or kidney. :)
Of course, you still fight a myriad of hulking supersoldiers and robot dogs, and one very, VERY big city-overwatch robot. Again, even on Uber I never felt I was being unfairly killed; I just needed to shoot straighter, duck a little more, and always have a back up plan.
The weapon selection is limited to half a dozen guns, but I was never bored with them. Maybe it's because the story itself was so intriguing, or the environments so varied that I never felt I was just running through hallways blasting bad guys with a big gun. The guns, limited though the selection is, are all very well balanced and totally useful in each situation. Whereas in some games, you find a favorite weapon and just stick with it until something better comes along, in nearly every SINGLE level in Wolfenstein I found myself HAVING to use almost every single weapon in my disposal.
One last note, I saw this game was getting solid reviews online. 7s, 8s, etc. I wanted to grab it, but wasn't sure. Wanted to wait for a sale. I looked deeper at the company that developed it (Machinegames) and saw they're made up of some ex-Starbreeze studio members (Chronicles of Riddick series). That instantly made my decision for me, as those games were fantastic. A shooter/adventure with brains. Luckily I also got a gift card for the MS store, so I ended up picking the game up for just $20. Knowing what I know now, I would've bought it day 1 for $60.
Excellent game, and a blueprint for what shooters can actually be if the time and care is put into them to make them more than just mindless shooting.
Bottom line: despite some (very) minor imperfections Wolfenstein is back in a big way. After all these years they're still in the Nazi killin' business, and brother: business is-a boomin'.