ammoncrossette Reviews

Paradise Hills (2019)

Not bad, not good.

[5/10 · 6 June 2023]

Ignore all the 8-10 star ratio ratings, as well as all the 1-3 star drags. This movie is ok.

Yes, it has a lesbian angle, but it is only slightly there and not really sexual. Why it's there idk... my main criticism is that there is no outer world scene in this movie. It's just the island. 1 or 2 scenes from the greater scifi/whatever-world would make a huge difference.

As it is the plot is pretty basic but solid. Any deapth to this story or characters will have to be strongly inferred. The ending wraps up nicely but kind of fails for reasons that I won't spoil but offer nothing but an out of place emotional manipulation to the veiwer, but that's the film makers prerogative. The acting is good, not great. Overall the movie works but offers nothing new.

Gave it a 6/10 until that last scene twist I mentioned, as it served no purpose and took away what might have been a satisfying ending to the story; but the tell of a bad writer is when they make their characters always "win" even when it betrays the story, character, & veiwer/reader. So 5 it is. (Such bad taste that I want to give it a 4 though.)

Flashpoint (1984)

Spoiled by imdb

[7/10 · 27 February 2023]

Shame that if you read the storyline on this imdb page that the mystery of this film is spoiled completely because it's actually a great movie. But having read the imdb page as I began watchin, as I do with almost all movies, the plot was spoiled by this stupid sight. An edit has been submitted but will that spoiler be removed? That's up to the viewers to request storyline deletion/edit after you watch this one.

Even tho imdb spoiled the big reveal that is litteraly saved til the last 2 minutes of film, I still enjoyed this flick and hope more people will see it. Just don't read the imdb first.

Please submit an edit to this film's storyline to have the spoiler removed.

Wifelike (2022)

Meh...

[4/10 · 20 January 2023]

Basically soft core porn with a plot and a used-to-be actor, Meyers Story moves really slow and isn't thought provoking at all. Concept is good but film lacks any grit. Given the guy's job, there are some tragically missed opportunities. Could have been a really great, gritty, dark film... but the whole thing looks like it was filmed in a dentists office. There's no real sci-fi aesthetic and costuming looks like it was by actor's choice. Dialogue is robotic (& without irony) and the characters meant to be mysterious are laughable. Way too slow in all developments. Had potential but unfortunately falls short. All that said, it's watchable.

UFO: Episode #1.1 (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

Not good.

[2/10 · 20 January 2023]

I don't often rate episodes... but this one needs it. The opening sequence of clickbate videos is full of known fakes. There are only a few genuine videos there, so that pretty much sets the tone of this episode. Episode 1 is like watching something from the early 90s when UFO just got viewers... there is zero substance. If you have never seen anything on UFOs or have had no interest in them before 2021 this might be a decent intro to the subject. Welcome to the conspiracy. But for anyone who knows the least little bit about the subject this is nothing but a disinformation effort to provoke conspiracy theorists and further the stigma of "wacky UFO enthusiast" upon anyone who takes this stuff seriously. It's a joke. Don't bother.

Project Blue Book (2019–2020)

Good not great

[7/10 · 23 April 2022]

Show is entertaining enough because I like tge subject. But it's slightly underwhelming. Maybe that's because I know about all the actual cases, idk... even so it's a fun show to watch.

Not sure why they keep teasing this lesbian stuff... It's the 1940's & '50's after all, it's just out of place to give the one character something going on... That's just lazy writing because they don't want to give her a real world. But that would cause problems because these cases happen over several decades... so world building would be a problem without a more cohesive storyline.

It's not a true telling... It's like X-files but a few decades earlier. 7/10.

The Batman (2022)

Batman having an identity crisis

[2/10 · 23 April 2022]

I think I just watched The Crow in the universe of the Watchmen... but I certainly didn't watch a batman flick.

This movie is bad on all levels. ALL! The more you noodle it, the more it becomes evident. How this has an 8.2 rating is beyond reason. It's bad.

It's actually so bad it can't be reviewed. Doing so would require reliving the trauma, and I refuse to do that voluntarily. Besides, I'm starting to sober up and need to numb the memory again... I can't stop the pain of the last two hours but will enough booze maybe I can forget... like the franchise will likely forget this movie was ever made by the next casting of Bruce Wayne.

That's it for me everybody- goodnight!

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Watchable reboot

[1/10 · 26 December 2021]

A giant miss for story telling, no real forward thinking with visual effects, and for some reason this film intentionally mispronounces the word "model."

As far as story telling this movie is a scene by scene near carbon copy of the original film (and in case you never saw the first one or have forgotten any of it, don't worry, scenes from the original are injected into their contemporary counterparts.)

No new threat. A giant miss on retelling a love story (which the entire plot revolves around.) Action scenes are weak. Visual effects are lazy and uninspired. But it is watchable... long but watchable.

Why/How is it watchable with all that? Well, if you actually remember the second and third film... let's be honest, they weren't great either. So it's a viable revisioned reboot of a dead franchise. It's a good starting point. But there is that one thing I can't get past: why the hell are they mispronouncing a word we all knoe how to say? Like the blatantly mispronounced "Zion" of the original trilogy "model" is the country in this film that will be rejected by fans as well as anyone being introduced to The Matrix in 2021.

Reminds me of Marvel's "symbiote" ordeal. Who are these actors, writers, directors, etc., who don't know how to pronounce words, and why isn't anyone correcting them?

Boogie Nights (1997)

Not worth the time.

[5/10 · 15 October 2021]

If the subject matter doesn't turn you off you're probably interested in a period piece that speaks volumes about a bygone era; you're probably looking for some great performances, fashion, and the usual characters of a cult film that will draw you in to their world, all by a stellar cast and crew.

I don't know how much of that you actually get here. But consider it's 1997, pre internet... It's hard to remember the world then and what movies were pushing forward the industry standards.

Boogie Nights is notable. It will remain so for a long time. However, it's probably not worth your time 20+ years later if you haven't seen it. Chances are whatever this film offered audiences when it came out is lost to the internet age.

The film is quirky, it's interesting, the work is solid. It just doesn't hold up. But that's maybe a failing of the age today and not a mark on the film or actors.

With all that it's also important to note that this is a story of a 17 year old. A 17 year old porn star who asks his predatory peers "do you think I look cool" while snorting a line of coke.

It's not an easy story to tell on film with any degree of decency.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

The Suicide Squad (2021) is gross.

[6/10 · 7 August 2021]

The Suicide Squad (2021) is gross.

It could have been good. It could have been great. But the gore leaves you empty and makes all its whimsy fall short of laughter.

Visually the film could have been magical. But for every disneyesque cartoon flower spilling out where blood should be, for every over exposed walk into the sunset, for every bad**s John Wick moment, there are at least 2 heads graphically split open or exploded, 3 bodies torn apart or splattered, several F words, and about ten or twenty civilian casualties ruthlessly gunned down by automatic fire or collapsing buildings.

Given the option to rewatch this or the original I'd watch the original. At least I can watch all of that movie without disgust. Heck, I'd probably even watch Birds of Prey again first and that movie sucked.

Aside from all the gore, what was left of the film is rather bipolar and disconnected. It doesn't flow great, and seems a bit of a chore to get the full story to unfold ( I guess that's why there are so many liberties taken with visual effects to keep it from being a total snooze.)

In the end there is a great story there... but it's really only about a half hours worth of film.

Characters are pretty good considering they are almost all filler. But the lead, played by Idris Elba evolves pretty interestingly and gives you a little bit of a good feeling in all the discombobulation. And Harley Quinn is a good support without being too much (except for one scene where her bad**sery is given a little too much liberty, but it works.)

Over the top is what you should expect here, and that includes everything from villains to heros to gore. The campiness is that of a bad horror film against a backdrop of scene after scene of the most gruesome moments from Amazon's The Boys & a few Disneyesque moments to soften the impact.

In some ways it's better than the first and in others it isn't even close. As far as continuity it's closer to Birds of Prey than its namesake predecessor, but story wise it fits more with the original.

Great performances all around. Crap dialogue. Gore dominates over anything nice in this film. Resolve is as usual bittersweet.

Meat Loaf: To Hell and Back (2000 TV Movie)

Fantastic

[8/10 · 24 July 2021]

What a great film. Absolutely fantastic.

That's it. That's the review. But since I need more here I'll just say, if this story were ever taken on by a major studio with a real budget it would be an Oscar contender in so many categories. But somehow that wouldn't be right... It's perfect just the way it is.

Twisted (I) (2004)

Boring

[2/10 · 12 July 2021]

This movie doesn't established anything to care about in twenty minutes of watching. If you make it past that you'll have to get by the flat acting and uninspired directing, cliche dialogue, and just nothing visually interesting- or interesting at all for that matter.

It's just a terrible paperback novel that has zero substance. Characters have no character, no motive, no development, no appeal. Judd is poorly cast and Garcia just smiles at the paycheck mounted above the camera with his lines written on it.

Trying not to spoil anything but I called this movie from the credits. No surprises, no twists, just generic murder/detective/serial killer churches played out in the same way as a thousand other films of the same.

The main character is about the least interesting person you can imagine, yet we never get into why she's so bland. That might be interesting. But no. You don't get even a hint of depth from this film. No intrigue. Just every overplayed cliche possible from a detective story.

If you value your time don't watch this.

Birds of Prey (2020)

Terrible, forgettable, blah

[4/10 · 31 March 2021]

Here's a few reasons why: number one is that this is a story that takes place in Gotham City, yet there's no Gotham in this movie at all. Generally the story is ok- not great, but ok. Casting is ok but all the headliners seem to be phoning it in. Supporting cast is great. Margo is meh, but that may be more the writing of her character and directing than how she's playing it. (Honestly I was never in love with her Harley to begin with so bare that in mind.) The haphazard action scenes around Quinn are pretty good, but they lack something I can't quite pinpoint- the narrative aspect of this film may be the biggest mistake holding it all back as it lacks the wit required to pull off this method of story telling- idk the charm just isn't there for me.

Is it an anti-man anthem? Meh... if you want to read it that way I guess you could, but it's not over the top so. It does go from one cliche to another in that respect which really betrays the story and Quinn's character. Quinn is chaos and carefree, that's her thing- she is the female Joker. That's why they're a pair. However not in this movie. Here Harley is more of a secret mastermind, yet a mastermind of nothing really. It seems like the writers didn't have a solid concept of the character.

Now, the fight scenes: okay, kinda cool, kinda bad-ass... But really contrived, mostly out of place and serve no purpose to the story or characters at all. It's like they just rummaged through a bunch of old comics looking for pictures to create fight scenes around and then forced them into a film they didn't want to write. There's not one moment of hazard to our main character, not really.

In short there is nothing extra about this movie. It feels in every way like a movie a few friends made without any consideration of a larger audience. I could go in to spoilers but why? There's so little of this movie that feels fresher than an old sock already.

Number one issue: this isn't Gotham in any way. It's a generic punk movie with zero character development and not much more plot.

I've been writing this whole thing while in the back of my mind trying to remember the name of the main bad guy (actor) in this film. You know who he is. You might even think he's a great actor- and he has been at times. But honestly he and his character in this film are so insignificant that I can not recall his name. And really that's the feel of this whole experience.

Urban Cowboy (1980)

Great soundtrack

[10/10 · 4 February 2021]

First off this movie has one of the best soundtracks I've ever heard. Other than that this is a solid film that tells a certain story.

It may be dated, it may be a glimpse in a bygone era and a shadow of the honkytonk culture that once dominated American culture, but it's a sweet memory of a him & her country love story about a cowboy and his girl.

Overall well crafted and performed; the characters feel real and are performed perfectly without trying or a lot of "acting" (which is what you get in most movies about love, cowboys, a boy and a girl, or pop culture phenomena.)

Travolta is brilliant as is the rest of the cast- but for me this is definitely a stand out film for him. 10/10 as I struggle to find anything wrong with this film, story, or performances.

Margot at the Wedding (2007)

Flat

[2/10 · 4 February 2021]

Inevitably, when writers write about writers the viewer is subjected to their therapy session that someone more boring than them thought interesting enough to film. Actors need to work, so it's never surprising when actors you love and respect devote a few weeks for an easy paycheck when all they have to do is show up and look lost- chances are they're not sure if this is a movie or if the check will bounce, but it feels like work and so they abide.

This story has no substance to anyone of substance. I understand how and why it was written and filmed. I just don't understand why I'm watching it. I guess I'm a film buff so I watch movies- even garbage student films like this. As a viewer this is not worth the time. That said, people made a movie and I'm sure they would like you to see it as some sort of deep human introspective work. Enter modern art. I'm sure if you try hard you'll find something to like about this terrible exercise for which people got paid to perform.

Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Bad but good

[7/10 · 7 January 2021]

Still holds up 40 years later. It's dated, it's disjointed at times, and feels like the script went through a few hard edits before what we see- and it feels like there was a lot made up on the fly. But all that kinda helps this movie keeps your interest; coupled with mature content that isn't too much, but just enough to validate and lighten the dark nature of the story. Revisiting this movie for the first time unedited, as an adult was a joy.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)

best of this cast since first class

[8/10 · 27 December 2020]

Shocked that this has such a low rating when in every way it's one of the best xmen films. Story is good, acting is good, effects are good- there's layers and depth in an otherwise simple story (Phoenix) yet plenty of action. Without giving spoilers; the way the story of Jean becoming Phoenix was given context and purpose was inspired and gives this film a fullness that's lacking in other stories (like apocalypse.) I felt satisfied as a fan and viewer with both the old & new takes of Jean's story. An easy 8 of 10 with only a few nit-picky critiques that would only annoy you, so I won't bother.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Terrible kids movie

[1/10 · 26 December 2020]

If you like the power rangers t.v. show style of acting, writing, directing you'll love this. If you are however an adult, I'll bet like me you'll be effectively done with this movie 20 minutes in.

The Forgotten (2004)

Watch the alternate ending.

[8/10 · 11 January 2020]

Theatrical cut ruins the story. If you watch this find the alternate ending. You may not like the movie still, but at least you'll be satisfied with the story. Theatrical cut is just awful. If you see it for the first time with alternate ending you'll be ok. If your first viewing is the theatrical release you may never be able to appreciate this movie. I loved this movie when i rented way back when, and opted to watchbthe alternate... nobody understood how i liked the movie. After revisiting the theatrical version, my life became a quest to prove i wasn't crazy and convince people to watch the alternate ending. Those who I convinced to give it a 2nd chance came around.

The Burglar (1957)

What do we call it? A victim.

[1/10 · 25 July 2019]

Watching old movies makes painfully obvious the extreme efforts film makers have been making for decades to demonize police and normalize criminal behaviour.

It started with crime dramas, but then our heros morphed from P.I.s, police & reporters to outlaws, vagrants, & thieves.

This movie is truly awful.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

Bored.

[4/10 · 14 October 2018]

10 minutes in and I already don't care. Dialogue is crap. Doesn't look or feel like star wars, story is contrived, stupid ploys in script to further story and hit plot points, just overall not great. Super disappointing. Voice overs are terrible. This movie should have never been released. It's an embarrassment to the franchise. Poorly cast. Solo's character has been destroyed and I wonder if the writers have even seen an original star wars film- which is sad considering one of the writers. It's just really not good.

The Fly (1986)

Stupid.

[5/10 · 7 October 2018]

This movie is really quite bad in every way. Really really bad.

Captain Fantastic (2016)

Meh, thanks for trying

[3/10 · 31 December 2017]

3 stars for effort. Utterly inconsistent in regards to those who actually live this way. This film has too many contrasting principals represented by the characters, who seem fake because of it. In short, this movie tries and fails.

Passengers (I) (2016)

Lame

[3/10 · 30 March 2017]

This movie struggled from the start, and then fell apart. My rating just kept going down as I watched, like the tip of a bad waiter. By the end of it all I felt like I had been trapped in space with two not so interesting people for 90 years. A less than inspired love story, with little to capture imagination or heart. This movie is riddled with logical errors, convenient plot twists and technology, with contrived and unbelievable perils. This film is in every way a failure in writing, casting, production, and science.

Genius on Hold (2012)

He could've been Jobs or Gates, but Bell wouldn't let him.

[7/10 · 21 February 2017]

Aside from a clear favoritism of one political party, I found this documentary to be quite good. Yes there are some glaring omissions when it comes to what political parties did what. And clear favoritism of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, as the only time they are referenced they are shown with children or the elderly, with some kind of religious sounding music playing, even though the economic downturn of 2008 is at the heart of this films thesis. All that is really beside the point of the story of a man who should have been a very successful inventor of the twentieth century. But of course he wasn't, and that's the point heavily implied by the title Genius on Hold.

Give it a watch. Disregard your politics, and don't buy into heavily insinuated opinion in this film that all Republican Presidents have embodied the greed is good mentality. After all, the decades which this film covers the presidency was split 60/40 with more Democratic Presidents and lawmakers holding the majority of those years. But, that's not really what this film is about. It's about the man, Shaw, and his inventions.

Fear the Walking Dead (2015–2023)

Blah

[6/10 · 5 February 2016]

I'm not sure why I thought this would be great. This is basically the walking dead all over again. The characters are pretty much the same. The plot is basically the same. The writing is slightly more polished, yet the characters still lack common sense at crucial times. Overall it's watchable only because it's new, but at the end of season one we've already seen hoards of zombies overtake the army- yet our unlikable family somehow escaped, all the while having undergone all the same character development in six episodes as have the walking dead cast after four seasons. So, yeah, it's maybe better than the walking dead. But so what? Because by the end of the first season this show will have lost all its appeal, as we are already running full fledged from zombie hoards with no civilization to speak of.