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brian-burchell
Reviews
Next Level Chef (2022)
This show is embarrassing, or should be for Ramsay and Blaise
I'll cut to the chase. I'm reviewing this halfway through Season 2. Read through a bunch of the 1-5 star reviews on IMDB and consider my review an emphatic Ditto! It seems that the producers failed to take into account the public perception of Season 1, to wit, the opinions here, and just carried on with the same bland, un-interesting, hyped-up, utterly lacking in drama or , heaven forbid, cooking prowess. These are average cooks with maybe 1 or 2 exceptions,cooking average food and the great chef hosts are jumping up and down trying to put lipstick on a pig to try to keep what is a giant yawn interesting. It is vapid, vacuous, and virtually pointless. Save yourself a little time and go watch a re-run of IronChef, the original, in Japanese, and watch that. You may not understand a thing they say but you will be infinitely more entertained if it is a cooking competition you're after. The bottom line, this show is Ramsay trying to make something out of nothing and failing abysmally.
Border Cartel (2016)
I beeze dumbfounded..
Ok, so I acquired this video and finally found the time to dive in. After about 10 minutes I gave up based on the abysmal acting. I decided to come here, IMDB, to see what the feedback was. Having read the 1 review I decided ok, I'll give it a shot.. Bad move,, bad waste of.1.5 Hrs. The story, I'm sure is a reasonable facimile of the harsh realities that the poor and downtrodden of Mexico suffer. There's much to be troubled by but the story and the acting is sooooo bad that it's really hard to watch. What can I say? Its , notwithstanding the gritty reality, on a sub-par level with a high-school play. The acting wouldn't make the grade even in that setting.. I know I'm about to sound equivocal but the broader story is interesting and should be told,just not by the people who produced this crap...
Gifted (2017)
For me, a paradox. THis is absolutely a fantastic, engrossing, heart-warming little movie.
You can call me an old cynic but I hate kid movies. I don't hate kids but I hate the tendancy of hollywood to rely solely on the heart-strings and the tendancy to say, awww, isn't that cute... It's kind of like reality talent shows where kids get a skate on moderate talent purely on the basis of them being kids... Old people get it too btw... Awww he's old, talent is only mediocre but hey, he's old so put him through. So to put it succinctly I generally hate kid movies. Precocious kids really put me off too and that seems to be the status quo for big budget hollywood. All in all I just really get put off by movies that are about kids. Typically they lack substance and rely on the , awww , isn't that cute, Yeah, I know there will be loads of people who read this that will be offended by my stance but guess what... Ok. So I've splaned my POV, now here comes the paradox, This is by far one of the best kid-centric movies I have ever seen. The pace is casual, the dialog is relaxed, the.climax is subdued and yet, wow, what a great story, what a great movie..
House of the Dragon (2022)
Disappointing
I was expecting, after I had written my observations, that I would be berated by screeching Song of Ice and Fire fanatics. It seems that concensus is in line with my own observations, to wit, that this is a lack-luster G. O. T. Wanna-be,, dang, two hypehenated words in a row.. sorry bout dat! In any case my observation is this is just a plastic copy of the original. The very first thing I noticed is the costumes. All perfect like they just came out of the.costume department. All without a scratch, blemish, or wrinkle. Now that's authenticity bub! From that point I was jaded I admit, but the rest of what I've watched, to e06, is following that trend. Does anyone remember an awful series called Reign that was supposed to be.taking place during the Mary Queen of Scots era, but the music was like Taylor Swift , costumes, for the 'royal gala's' was like a cheap high-school graduation gown etc. Well, this show is not quite as bad as that but if you're looking for Game of Thrones, that is how this will feel to you.. It's ok, It's cheap Americanized drivel but my friend, it aint no Game of Thrones, Not even remotely close.
Deadly Islands: Devil's Island (2014)
Can I have my hour back?
What a load of crap. Let's see if I can summarize it for anyone thinking of wasting an hour. Ya see this guy gets paid to go to remote areas to do a report. This so-called devils island is supposed to be this really scary place. Ok, so half an hour into it we've seen a few monkeys and the guy saying... there must be something terrible here. Then,, woooh, a scorpion...after a grueling 40 minutes he gets to a derelict prison camp, spends the night in a delapidated cell and gets bitten by a tiny bat that sucks blood. He gets bitten on the foot.. That's it, roll credits. That folks is the terrible devil's island adventure.. Man, save yourself an hour and go look at a housfly through a magnifying glass. That will be at least more terrifying, more interesting, and you'll save yourself an hour...
The Last Kingdom (2015)
Disappointing if you have read the books. OK otherwise.
My lead says it all. They are so off track, on so many levels, with the novels that I'm fairly sure that Bernard Cornwell winced more than once. On the other hand he probably winced all the way to the bank. If you haven't read the books, which is evidenced by the many glowing reviews, you will indeed experience some Game of Thronsie, Vikingsie, kind of diversion. If you are after the masterpiece that Cornwell created in the books, we'll maybe drink a whole bunch of Tequila so that you can overlook all of the glaring flaws.
Homeland (2011)
What a Show! Politically coherent, plausible, intellectual, dramatic,,, what else can I say?
What is most startling about this series, and in particular this newest 2015 season, is that this is not a show for the intellectually challenged. The plot is complex, the characters are dynamic and fluid, and the story-lines are completely plausible with regard to real-life events. These are all earmarks of a show that is doomed to be supplanted by the Seinfeld crowd. Generally speaking the viewing public don't seem to want to work hard to follow the plot lines.. This definitely seems to be an exception because MY God this is a good show. It is intelligent. It is absolutely coherent and faithfully follows history, albeit fantasized history. This show absolutely could be real. It doesn't seem to be pushing a particular ideology but rather seems to be a story of political intrigue. Acting is superb, Story is completely believable, action and drama is exciting and edge-of-your-seat exciting. This show is the antithesis of Seinfeld. What is amazing to me is contrary to most shows that force you to think, this show is still on and has not been canceled in favor of some brainless tripe.. Thank you viewing public for recognizing true brilliance.
Reign (2013)
Stunning, and I mean that literally, like I am stunned at how bad this is!
The "Storyline" on IMDb, written by CW (the network that this show is on) says, 'Chronicles the life of Mary Queen of Scots'.... Let's ponder the meaning of Chronicles.."a factual written account of important or historical events in the order of their occurrence" This is about as far from factual or a chronological history of events that you can possibly be. Oh my GOD this is bad! There is nothing whatsoever in this series that resembles the broadest taking a license with the facts. This story resembles the life of of Mary Queen of Scots in much the same way that Game of Thrones, dragons and all, resembles the life and times of Paris Hilton. This is what irks me so much, the fact that CW has the gall to say that this Chronicles the life... OK, so admittedly I've only watched half of the first show. Thought I was getting into something like the Tudors or White Queen. The first time I kind of squirmed was with respect to the wide variety of accents and affected, fake 'stage' English accents. Then came the musical score before Mary comes to the castle, talk about inappropriate music that was WAYYY out of sync with the period. Next came the costumes, The ladies in waiting costumes look like they came straight of a women's clothing store just before prom. Then the ball, The music and dancing well, other than the male's costumes you wouldn't see any difference from a modern prom, crappy modern music and girls in cheap prom dresses. This is so badly done if its supposed to be a period scene it's worse than laughable. It will make you wince. Here's the feeling I get from this show, Some thirty-something executive gave his/her child who just completed first year dram class the reigns, pardon the pun, to produce this show and the son or daughter had pretty much zero knowledge of the actual history. They filmed some castles or did some CGI scenes for the outside scenes which you'll see periodically, To remind you that, oh hey, this is all taking place during Tudor times in the 16th century, because there will be precious few other clues, certainly not the clothes, atmosphere, plot, historical facts, etc. that will tell you that this is supposed to be about the real Mary. , they built some sets that just barely represent reality and they yelled "Action". The acting, other than the awful fake British accents, is not bad and I've read in other reviews that as a fantasy story it's not bad. Bottom line, If it's a historical drama you're after you're barking up the wrong tree. If it's just a diversion, maybe it may be OK for you. As for me I'll give it a few more episodes to see if I can get past the feeble attempts to represent a historical event without even the slightest representation of history. As an example, at this moment Mary and Francis are riding in a carriage over a green field and the music playing in the background is American Country music from Circa 2010 followed by Something like Avril Lavign ish folk/rock song.. Are you friking kidding me? If you have the remotest knowledge of history this movie will definitely make you squirm. This is an update, I've now (thank my wife) watched more than 10 shows.. It's dreadful! I just figured out what makes me and many others angry about this show. "...Chronicles the life of Mary Queen of Scots" They used that BS to suck people in. There is almost NOTHING in common with Mary Queen of Scots. If you have the merest inkling of the history about which this show claims to represent, or an IQ higher than an average-sized potato, then you're going to hate this series, if you're in the group that thinks that this is good, then please carry on watching, and best of luck with that lobotomy..
The Interview (2014)
Mehh
There's talk that the whole Sony hack thing was just an ingenious publicity stunt to try and bolster interest in an otherwise 'been there, done that, bought the t-shirt' comedy that is one note, one joke, and a few butt and pussy jokes here and there to confuse the viewer into thinking that the movie is funny. While the former conspiracy theory seems unlikely the latter point is easily confirmed by spending just South of 2 hours of your time. Sure it's a decent diversion and sure there's a few chuckles here and there but I'd be willing to wager that if you see this in a theater you will not hear anyone over the age of 12 actually laugh. If you're looking for a mild diversion, mehhh, it's OK! If you're after something deserving of the hype you will be sorely disappointed and probably angry that you got sucked in to spending your hard-earned shekels on this puerile drivel.
Utopia (2014)
If you saw the movie Idiocracy and didn't get the joke this may be for you.
A major news station had this to say about Utopia, "Set to be the biggest flop in TV history" That pretty much covers it.. The premise is these 'pioneers' are going to start their own society from scratch. They sure invented alcohol fast!... This show is for 12 year old's and people that think spitting/pi**ing in a public bathroom is the epitome of humor. They should have Lee Greenwood's "Proud to be an American" as the theme song. If that offends anybody, then you will definitely be offended by this show's portrayal of a representative cross-section of entrepreneurial Americans.
It's Jerry Springer goes camping, nothing more.
Homeland: The Star (2013)
Jumping the shark.
First of all I love this program and I am disappointed to see Brody killed off. I am however of a different opinion than most. Brody didn't 'make' the show, neither did Carrie. What made the show is the plausibility and the political intricacies and plots. The show can move on and be just as interesting with new character development. On the other hand Brody could show up,,, can you say body-double, can you say staged execution complete with reinforced neck prosthesis so the US can give him a new identity and The new Iranian PM can retain credibility. There's lots of ways to 'bring him back from the dead'. The problem is bringing Brody back would do more harm than good. It would cause the credibility of the show to go down the toilet. Leave the dead where they lie and move on to new and exciting intrigue. Reincarnating Brody would be a classic case of jumping the shark. Just my two cents worth. Cheeers
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)
Disappointing final season to an otherwise spectacular drama
I'm writing this review to focus on the final (which technically is season 4 if you include Gods of the Areana, but according to IMDb is season 3. I'm referring to the last, 2013, season) season only. The First 3 seasons were excellent in every way. If you are going to watch Season 4 expecting to see the expansive scenes, the complex character development, the Machiavellian plot twists, the political intrigue, The close connection to the actual history, and the justifiable amount of sex and violence, then you will be sorely disappointed. The graphics are overtly CGI, the plot, what I will call laughingly" twists are transparent and uninspired, The battle scenes are ridiculous, the character development is non-existent, and the dialog is amateurish and lacks any real depth. It's almost like they ran out of money before they started this Season. Here's what you get.. Plot-Crassus hates Spartacus and kills anyone that is connected to him, cue multiple battle scenes where 3-5 Spartaconians fight 20 or 30 Romans and of course beat them all, lots of grunting and slo-mo blood splurting. Spartacus and co. kill some Romans, Cue grunting and slo-mo blood splurting, Romans chase after Spartacus and kill some of his crew, Cue grunting.... I think you get the picture... If you want to save yourself about 10 hours of disappointment....you won't be disappointed if you're <16,,aside from that, go to your nearest game rental place, rent God of War and watch the promo video before the game. After that 5 minute video you've pretty much seen all of Spartacus... Oh, unless you're after the gratuitous sex.. There's loads of that ... I'd recommend a soft-core porn, the playboy channel or some other method of seeing some T&A because at least you won't have to waste hours and hours of juvenile dialog and copious amounts of red gelatin flying around in slow motion. Bottom line, Spartacus 1, 2, and 3 are excellent, Spartacus 4...pathetic!.. (Spartacus gets killed, that's it. They could have covered what took 10 hours in less than 5 minutes at the end of last season. there I've saved you 10 hours of wasted time.
The Ninth Configuration (1980)
Not for the intellectually challenged...Otherwise read on
If you just love sit-com's , especially the ones that like to make sure you know where the jokes are, via canned laughter (I've always thought that if you have to tell me where the joke is, then it's not very funny in the first place) but I digress... back to the point, sitcoms, don't you just love em? If you answered yes,, maybe Ninth Config may not be for you.. If you've evolved slightly beyond the trees, and you can at least work up a chuckle at some of Monty Python,, then watch this movie. It's brilliant.. Funny, serious, metaphorical, theological, bar-fighting, rich philosophical questions, and Shakespeare re-written for dogs, what more can you ask for?
The Pit and the Pendulum (1991)
Cheap, badly, BADLY, acted
I won't waste a lot of your time. Yes the history is sorta, kinda there, but the acting..... Gawd! It's bad. It feels like a Spaghetti Western that's been dubbed into English, except it's not. It's just that everyone, is wooden and sounds like they're reading a script.. I am really interested in this subject and the acting just ruined the movie for me. If you've seen a few College (really most College plays have better acting than this, more like High-School) plays or some foreign films that have been very very badly dubbed, except for maybe What's up Tiger Lily..then you've seen how badly and mechanically actors can read their lines...If you can see this on cable or download it somewhere, enjoy!...For Heaven's sake don't waste your money on this crap... Cheers
Weeds (2005)
What's your intellectual capacity?
OK, my review is a tad late considering the series has been on for about 7 yrs. but what the heck....If you're the average, moderately-well adjusted person you will probably like this series. Now, Imagine the the kind of person that sits and watches sitcoms that have been regurgitating the same jokes ad-nauseam for the past 40+ yrs, that drag the same one premise joke out season after season, and blast you with laugh-tracks just to let you know where the jokes are, If that's not you, you will love this show. If you can relate, in any way, with Elizabeth Perkins' character, Celia Hodes, then you're probably the type of person who would criticize this show and personally your opinions don't mean squat to me. I guess it boils down to cranial saturation....I'll leave that in your hands... Stay Loose