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angrykirby
Reviews
Walk the Line (2005)
The script sucks
The look is good, The actors try to give a hard effort, the idea is fine but the script kills this movie from being any good. I saw this movie not knowing who the director is, after finding out I'm not surprised. The guy has made other good looking yet completely lame movies, perhaps a better director would have called for a script re-write.
The movie is boring, which is due to the script. You are quickly pushed through cash's first 25 years by seeing things like him going off to the air force and then being home from the air force. This helps to underdevelope Cash from the start. The few scenes you see that are supposed to develop the love story are too short and too stiff to produce a sense that these people were in love.
The movie starts with the t-1000 being cash's generic, mean spirited,"I wish you had died instead of him" father. Then we jump to Cash being older. Then we jump through key things lightning fast. Then we see Cash get a real record out without any struggle or ANYTHING that might make us care or feel bad for him. Then he falls in love and has some struggle with his current wife and it all turns out fine and it sucks.
During a lot of the movie I thought "I never noticed Cash had a hair-lip, but that's a great make up job" well I was wrong. It's not makeup. Joaquin has one, even though cash didn't. WHY DID NO ONE THINK COVERING THAT UP WAS IMPORTANT. playing a singer we constantly see Joaquin's mouth.
Why end the movie in the middle of cash's life. Old Johnny Cash isn't worth writing about? nothing about diabetes struggle or the sadness over the death of June? Don't you think that his last single released being 'hurt' would tie in well with the 'what would be the last song you'de want to hear before you die' theme? I'm not all that surprised, They managed to suck the fun out of John's energetic years, a movie about the rest of John's life, written by these writers would probably be unwatchable.
The script sucks. boring as hell. It reminded me of how in the movie 'the final cut' they would show someone's whole life only showing the main points but failing to show who they were and there personality. I kept thinking about how if my life were a movie, I would much rather an entertaining film based on any three drama filled hours or crazy times of my life, than a film about all the basic this happened, then this happened stuff.
If they wanted to make it about his love for June than why not spend more time on that? If it was supposed to be about everything in the first half of his life why drain him of scenes that show him in a positive light? The movie is a mess. It's not completely awful but It could be such a better film.
American Beauty (1999)
I hate this movie!
In 1999 three movies came across with anti-cubical message in them, American Beauty, Fight Club and Office space. Of those three the only one that looks down on the viewer like the movie is above them is American beauty. It is really annoying that the catch phrase is look closer when the movie is not deep or well thought out.
Main character is a regular guy who decides to change his life. This messes up everyone else's life. So he does one rebellious thing after the other and in the end, due to a sitcom like situation, in which he appears to be doing something he's not, he ends up dead. That's not a spoiler, the narration tells you that at the beginning of the movie. What message are you trying to get across when the main characters life change kills him. Don't change or die changing? The movie doesn't make it clear because a lot of things in this movie are left ambiguous and general so that it can seem to be smart.
The last line of the movie conveys a message that you don't get the movie but some day you will. Bite me. Why release the movie then? Everything is pretentious and trys to seem meaningful in American Beauty.
The movie has average cinematography. This bothers me because of how the movie keeps trying to say everything is beautiful. That is another example of how the movie trys to be above everyone. Violent or odd acts are happening and everything is beautiful. Like the movie is trying to have a message about that but doesn't have a strong opinion.
Fight Club and Office Space did a much better job of saying "take control of your life" and Feris Buelers Day Off said "life moves fast you should slow down and look at it sometimes". I hate American Beauty for saying someday you will understand the point and being general so that it leaves the impression of saying something without saying anything.
Fargo (1996)
snore-if people think this is good there is no hope for mankind
One of the most boring ovrated movie I have seen. The plot is confusing and not interesting. The jokes are not funny and the movie is bad. Why could anyone like this I don't know.
Two cops investigate two murderers in canada. It is not funny and it doesn't have a great anything. The movie is bland and easily forgettable. Why is this rated so high? The world may never know. I will ask Mr.Owl.
Don't waste any of your life on this. watch anything else instead. If you like this movie, I suggest you see more movies. The jokes are not funny and the plot is boring that is it.
Bottom line: bad movie
I give it 0/10
The Girl Next Door (2004)
trash
this movie is forgettable braindead unfunny waste.
I only laugh that they try to sell this movie as if you can see sex here. If your old enough to watch this you could buy porn, why market it this way? anyway this movie is boring not funny and badly written. All the music is already overplayed trash I can't think when I saw a movie this useless.
I watched the unrated because thats what my blockbuster had and I don't know or care what was re-edited in. who cares.
Bottom line: even the dumbest person would not find this entertaining. no one should waste time watching it.
Léon (1994)
BAD movie watch something else
Leon/the professional is unoriginal, badly shot and just a terrible action movie. Anyone who liked this must be out of touch with what a good movie is.
Leon/the professional should NOT be rated higher than The Man With No Name trilogy, Yojimbo, the killer, desperado, THE Terminator trilogy and other movies that are painfully more awesome then this is.
This movie is unoriginal, full of stereotypical characters and old, man has to deal with little girl, not fitting his life style, with hilarious results and love Plot line. The movie also has a sense of humor that does not fit the feel of the movie.
The action is unmemorable and laughable. "WHAT? an entire swat team and not one throws a smoke grenade or teargas bulls***" -thats me screaming at the fake stillted "action" in a later scene. The bad guys also look so overly menacing they're funny. The main bad guy wears all white and reminds me of Moco from El Meriache except Moco was cool.
I don't have enough space to say all the reasons why I hate mediocre action films like this, they make the genre worse. This movie also bothered me because it is badly edited with useless segments, a boring overall feel and no story arc. It looks like it was made by pedophiles because they put that little girl in every sexual look they could. It makes you feel sickened.
If you liked it please watch the movies I mentioned during this review. Then you will understand. Bottom line: mediocre films like this with lame dialog, LAME action, bad acting, no message/point and nothing new weaken the action genre!
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
snatch is a lot better
The beginning of this movie is good and so is the end but the quirkey fun of it is not consistent.The middle of the movie is mediocre and not that memorable enough.
The movies plot puts you through the story of the Cincinnati kid in 20 minutes but unlike that movie this deals with the after consequences. it has cute moments and great, but rareley understandable dialog. This is a mix between the Cincinnati kid and British gang fun. but the same type/sequel snatch is a mix between fight club and British gang fun. It is close to the same but better ordered more memorable and fun.
The movie has a bit of a flat overall feel while snatch has a better story arch.I hope the next type of movie rich makes like this is his best yet.
BOTTOM LINE: Snatch is better if you have the choice watch snatch
Bowling for Columbine (2002)
I disagree with a lot but love this movie
out of all the things this documentary does, the most powerful is the real footage from the day columbine happened. You should see this, even if you are completely against it. I love the way moore pushes people and shows what he wants to. people argue showing one side doesn't give people a clear view. The movie is not a report it is an argument. I respect that he trys to convince us his side.
The movie covers a lot of things but I was interested that he never came to the conclusion that some people have said, that they were nazis. He didn't bring up they lined up people asked them their religions then shot them or that they did it on 4/20 hitlers birthday. maybe he never came across that theory anyway you should see this movie especially if you are a middle/high schooler. It's one sided and moore picks on people but that gives it focas and makes it interesting.
I loved it and I'm not a person who likes liberal janger.
violence is more powerful then the idea of conservative or liberal SEE IT even if you hate it after you do see it first before you complain.
The Powerpuff Girls Movie (2002)
Excellent I wish the movie made more money
This is the main reason cartoon network refuses to do a theater film ever again. Great movie the last 30 minutes make me tingle they are so awesome. This is the most high quality thing they have ever done and It bombed at the theater.I wish every one could see this, the cinematography is outstanding and the action is awesome. I am a man and when I tell other men to see it they laugh at me, but the guys I do get to see this agree with me it is amazing.The plot also has deep meaning
If you look at it, monkey that was an accident of man creates monkeys in his own image and demands him to obey because of that=message about God? proubley not, but this movie is awesome great dialog, action, look, rent it and you will thank me. One of the greatest action movies of all time.
bottom line: see it don't be a wimp or be afraid your friends will laugh it's incredible
Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
TERRIBLE Aviod at all costs
I hate this movie, the fact that no one clapped after the movie was over, shows I am not the only one. I love and still love EL Mariache and Desperado, so when this came out I rushed out to see it and when the credits were over,I stared at the screen trying to figure out how the movie I just watched had nothing positive I could say about it.
I loved the way desperado had lots of action, all edited to the awesome music score blasting in the background. but the music in this movie was awful and popular I had heard a lot of the songs in it, but bad music is the least of its several problems.
20 main characters, what? The movie has so many pointless characters. None of the actors seems to have energy, they all look tired and know how bad this movie is. The plot is mush and needlessly confusing.
Desperado was known for it's awesome shoot outs {mostley stolen from john woos the killer} but in this movie the shoot outs were short and boring. The beautiful cinematography from desperado is also gone and the movie is painfully anti-climactic. The characters are so under developed you don't care if they live or die.
The sly dialog from desperado also gone replaced with simple, banal statements that actually state the opposite of what his character says in el mariache.
I was completely disappointed. I love, repeat love desperado and this movie tries to ruin everything that made that movie great. Antonio banderezes plays his character with no enthusiasm. The movie also has a few spots where the camera is screwed up. The worst part is that it focuses on characters that have to do with nothing. There is so much potential for this movie, that is killed by having to much useless thrown on top of it. sorry that took so long, but I think this is an awful way to end the series. IT'S TRASH!
Memento (2000)
this movie is bad
I am not a stupid person and I like to think most people could say that. You see taking an average movie about a guy with memory loss, and then doing an old media trick of just airing it in backwards order, so you know the end and work towards the beginning is cheap. I did not have any trouble making order and sense of this movie in my brain and when i placed it in order i realized that it was an average movie. I think life is too short to waste watching movies that are just OK.If i can help just one person by saying don't waste your time with this movie than, I feel gratified in bursting everybodys "its backwards that means it is artsy and because i like an artsy movie that makes me smart" bubble of self appreciation. BOTTOM LINE:If you want to see a recent movie like this watch irreversable or even great movies that have meaning behind them without being backwards like fightclub or pi or just relax and watch the blues brothers just leave memento on the shelf.:]