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Reviews
Cryptid (2022)
Okay Beginning and End
But the middle, the middle is the true horror. Your challenge will be to stay awake through the middle. Unfortunately, the middle is most of the movie. This could have been cut down to half an hour, and it would be a pretty good short. There's just a long stretch of talking and talking and talking, and more talking and talking and talking, then more talking, and talking and talking, and before that, some stuff actually happens, and after that, some stuff actually happens, but in the middle hour and a half it's just talking and talking and talking, and then more talking and talking and talking.
The Stranger (2022)
Hard to Believe for Americans
We know it's based on a true story, every promotional item says that, but in the States we would never expend this kind of manpower, time, and effort on one single missing person. It's just hard to swallow that Australia actually did. They faked an entire criminal enterprise to catch one guy for one crime? Seriously? Yeah, it happened, but even so, it's very difficult to suspend disbelief.
It's very well acted and deeply atmospheric. Points for that. I can't help feeling, however, that some more explanation should have been given as to why this lone crime was treated as so hugely important. Or any explanation. I mean, a kid goes missing here, police tell their parents they ran away and forget about it.
Points to Australian law enforcement for caring so much. That said, I'm still shaking my American head over it.
The Djinn (2021)
A Real Actor's Showcase
The core storyline will be predictable to viewers familiar with horror/suspense/thriller genres, but the young lead makes it worth watching. It's tough to carry a film largely by yourself, and even tougher when you can't use one of the most essential tools in any actor's box thereof, so this is pretty impressive.
I was genuinely worried about this kid! I found myself yelling at the screen when he would do something that would be totally understandable irl, but that as viewers we know will go badly. It was probably hilarious if anyone had been watching me (not to my knowledge), but really, very well done. I'd watch it again with friends or relatives.
Homebound (2021)
Garbage
Well acted, atmospheric, great scoring. Two points for all that. Why not more? Because, and here's the big-ass spoiler, if you can't write an ending you shouldn't make a movie. I'm so deeply sick of these non-ending endings. It isn't a deliberately open ending; there's a difference. This is just failure. Somebody needed to make a decision and nobody did.
We can guess what's likely, but it isn't remotely certain as the perpetrators are quite mercurial. They might just as well ask Holly to stay and look after them, as kill her. And if they did, that'd be an interesting ending. I'd love to see how she responded.
But nobody decided, so we don't get that and we don't know that she's killed either. It just stops in the middle of a scene. Absolute garbage.
Clay (2008)
Story Looked Intriguing
Unfortunately, the constant quick cuts rendered this unwatchable for me. If you don't get motion sickness, migraines, or seizures, and nothing ever makes you dizzy, you might be all right with it. I mean, it's REALLY constant and they're REALLY fast.
I'm truly disappointed. I love the premise and wanted to watch this movie.
All My Friends Hate Me (2021)
There's no horror here, and precious little comedy.
It's a dreary affair which I am going to spoil in entirety here, which won't matter because you shouldn't watch it. Though well acted in a beautiful setting, this is a dull affair in which the main character is horrifically emotionally abused by everyone around him, then blamed when he's unhappy as a result.
The upshot is we're supposed to think he's the bad guy. He's not great; self-absorbed and silly. But he's not mean. They're the bad guys! It's a stupid movie and if it hadn't been so badly miscategorized I never would've watched it.
And we never even get any resolution about the duck or the dog! In fairness at least we do see the dog again. But under the circumstances, that's insufficient and unsatisfying.
Coyote Lake (2019)
Well Acted, Beautiful Direction and Scoring
I'd have rated it a solid eight if the ending hadn't left a major thread dangling. But, even given that criticism, I think the reviewers beating up on this movie didn't really watch it. It's a gorgeous and very different coming-of-age story, more than anything else. If you don't like those, skip it; but if you're looking for something off the beaten path, with some incidental and largely symbolic murder woven in, you might enjoy this quite a lot.
Pacing is steady throughout a short beginning, long middle, and short end. Many scenes have a modestly surreal, almost theater-like quality. It ain't Baz Luhrmann (and thank Dog for that), but this aspect is pretty and fun, and the actors rise to the occasion.
If you're wondering where the spoiler is, it's the dangling thread: What the hell happened when Dirk came back?!? I came here to read the reviews hoping someone knew. Thought maybe there was a coda not shown on Prime. Oh well!
Devil's Island (2021)
Kinda Loses the Plot, But I Didn't Mind
There's a plotline hinted at, and at least once explicitly shown, that's then pretty much just dropped. But it didn't bother me much because I was very taken with the lead character, and her progression was interesting. I felt that she grew, and was revealed more to us, both, over the course of the film. And both of those journeys were worthwhile, in my opinion.
It's a unique little oddity. I really haven't seen anything quite like it before. Would watch a series based on this.
Bonus: Great music.
Misfits: Episode #4.7 (2012)
Shaun Dooley's Greg Sings!
This episode gets an 8 from me purely on the strength of Dooley's singing (he's the crazy probation worker, Greg). It's a terrific performance, and I will never again be able to hear the song without hearing his far superior version in my head over it. I wish it would be made available in its entirety! I'd buy it. The show must have had to record all of it, I would think, so they'd have plenty of material and could then pick and choose when to inter-cut with other characters, and they've included the beginning and the end... well anyway, it's beautiful.
The plot is moronic, and in my opinion, by this time, the show has completely lost its way. But that one shining moment really shines. I'd recommend watching this one literally for that alone.