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Civil War (2024)
Writers Just Don't Get It--Other Than That It's a Great Cash Grab
This movie just does not get it.
It's a movie about a war, but other than the last 20-30 minutes it focuses on three journalists driving through America. Throughout that journey we see some of the devastation of the war but there's nothing more to it than that.
It's a movie about a war, but we don't know anything--other than what's shown in the trailer--about the two sides.
And when the characters/soldiers are shown, for most parts, we have no way of really knowing which side they are on.
We see pretty horrific scenes but then we hear the kind of music that is completely out of vibe with what's happening and what just happened.
When soldiers are committing horrible atrocities, we get no context or history that led them to that dark place. It's like the writers of this movie were focusing more on the cash grab than telling a compelling story.
From the scenes shown, we don't get any of the politics about the two warring sides.
We see Kirsten Dunst's character have a look of stress, sleeplessness, and misery on her face and we see this from the very beginning. But this is done without any character development, without showing any experiences that led to that. (I think there was a brief showing of a few snippets of her past experiences, but this was well after the beginning.)
The only positive from this movie is that, despite the action being limited to the last 20-30 minutes, that part of the movie is decent entertainment. It would, of course, be much more interesting if we had more history and context it.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
Another movie that missed out on being a classic because it couldn't get a perfect ending
This movie starts out a little unusual in that the first, say, 5 minutes is presented in the form a documentary. It made me think or worry that maybe the entire movie would be like that. But then it starts and it does not disappoint. The characters that are introduced are genuinely interesting. I was impressed by Carmichael (played by Iann Bliss).
Early on and well into the ending, the movie is exploring this question of whether what is happening is real or fake. The ending had to have been consistent with the answer to that question. The problem that this movie has is that the ending--while not being the worst ending of all time for a movie--is not so great. It just doesn't tie the story together as well as I think it could have. Now, if this ending was done but a little differently, perhaps it could have still been good. Ultimately, I think if the ending to this movie was great or perfect, this could have been a true classic. But that was not the case. I could have given this movie a 7, but I just put a ton of emphasis on a decent ending for the movies I watch.
I want to also take a moment to point one of the great things about this movie that will be overlooked: its comedy. Sometimes this is unintentional and a lot of times only certain personalities will see the humor of it, but it's there. Finally, there is a degree of originality to this movie that should also be pointed out: An entire movie based on a show--And a movie that, overall, is not so bad.
I.S.S. (2023)
Watch the trailer a couple of times--That's the entire movie. No, really!
I got done watching it a few hours ago and as I write this review, I have a degree of uncertainty as to which rating to give it. It's not as high as a six and not as low as a three.
There are three American astronauts and three Russian cosmonauts on board the I. S. S. The trailer provides all of the other story: a nuclear war has broken out on Earth. The astronauts are instructed to take control over the I. S. S. By any means necessary. How could such an amazing trailer and story result in such a disappointing movie? The answer: The movie, while having faults on several fronts, ultimately fails because it refuses to take a single serious risk with everything that follows the nuclear war on Earth.
The movie moves quite quick in the beginning with the introduction of the characters. More effort could have been put in the character development, especially since this movie is only one hour and thirty-five minutes long.
Two of the Russian male cosmonauts looks quite similar. I had trouble telling them apart.
Astronauts and cosmonauts are very intelligent, but the characters here seem pretty impulsive.
So when I thought about the direction that this movie could go, I thought that, generally, there were two. One would be where they fight and try to kill each other. The trailer more than hinted that that's the direction it was going in. I felt astronauts and cosmonauts would try and solve things more diplomatically--that's the other direction--and that the movie should do a better job of selling the idea of this fighting to the viewer. In other words, I was watching out for a series of specific events that put these six people in such a situation--'a perfect storm'--that they have no choice but to resort to violence. This was completely absent.
Early on, one of the Americans needs to go outside of the I. S. S. And fix an antenna. This was long after the American crew realizes that that the Russian crew would have likely received the same order to seize the I. S. S. By any means. One might think it's not a good idea to go out and leave the two Americans with the three Russians at a time when these orders are in place, but it's done anyway. That's when the sabotage and fighting starts.
At no point, do we see any scenes from Earth or know more about what's happening down there than what is shown in the trailer.
The problem is there's nothing creative. If the writer had asked him or herself 'how can I make this as generic as possible', this is the direction the movie would have gone in.
Give me anything original, even if it's bad. Give me something that will leave me thinking long after the movie is done. Give me something bold. Surprise me. Make me laugh or cry. Make me angry at a character. Heck, give me an ending where the bad guys win. Anything! But we get none of this in this movie.
Gojira -1.0 (2023)
First Time I Watched a Movie, and Thought I Want to Watch it Again!
First off, one of the only downsides of this movie is the subtitles. If you can get past that, you will not be disappointed with this movie.
It starts off with an incident where the protagonist (who declined to participate in the kamikaze attack on Pearl Harbor even though he was ordered to) has a chance to (perhaps or perhaps not) kill off a younger Godzilla on some island a bit away from Japan, but decides to not pull the trigger. There's a chance the Godzilla would have survived this attack. It results in several of his countrymen being killed off by Godzilla. One of his countrymen barely survives and is very angry with him.
The protagonist returns home to Tokyo, right after the atom bomb was dropped. He meets a woman who is taking care of an orphan baby. Somehow, they end up living in the same house, but are not in a relationship.
Gozilla then attacks Tokyo and kills that woman, who the protagonist was growing closer to. The protagonist then becomes determined to kill Godzilla. The government of Japan cannot get involved with stopping Godzilla (for some political reasons, it seems) and a group of scientists and former military men come up with a plan to kill the monster.
Then, the action and drama is fully unleashed. That drama and emotion will bring you to tears. Be prepared to be surprised. This is much more than a Godzilla movie.
The Iron Claw (2023)
The Pressure to Succeed Should Come Wholly From Within
Zac Efron's character recognizes the importance of family, especially his brothers and father--We recognize that early on in the movie. But due to drug overdosing or suicide, his brothers would start to die off. And each death feels earth-shattering on the family.
When we look at the reasons for these deaths--yes, it's speculation-- we see an opportunity to learn something. To the extent that the movie is historically accurate, we get a sense for why the brothers die, and beneath those deaths is a lesson about the pressure that a person can feel to succeed.
David dies in Japan from steroids or a drug overdose. Perhaps, the pressure of succeeding in this industry or the stress of all that got to him. We can speculate about his father contributing to that pressure.
Mike gets into wrestling pretty late. During a match, he suffers a relatively minor injury but one that did require surgery. During that surgery, he goes into a coma. Fortunately, he wakes up from the coma. Unfortunately, he is not the same. He struggles with speaking and seems a bit debilitated, perhaps permanently, but seems like he is otherwise OK. He must have felt like a disappointment to be in a such weakened state in a very competitive family. Once again, the competitive spirit is one that is set out by his father.
Kerry gets into a motorcycle accident and losses his foot. He still tries to remain in the wrestling industry and seems to be relatively successful. Then, we reaches a point where he gets the sign from the wrestling federation that they will not continue to give him the same opportunity as before. This is devastating news to him. He feels like a disappointment to his family (in addition to probably being worried about his career, how he will make money, etc). He kills himself.
The lesson here is to be mindful of the expectation we set for others. Any pressure to succeed in any industry should come from within the person. There is a difference between healthy pressure and toxic pressure, the latter being what we saw in this movie. Sometimes life hands us one of the 'downs,' and we really have to give it time and not give up because, chances are, that we will eventually be handed one of life's 'ups.'
Life should never be thought of as about what happens to you--Because very bad things will happen to you. It's about how you react to the very bad things that happen to you.
Strays (2023)
Definitely Funny, But Leans Too Much on the Theme of Sex and Gets a Bit Gross
Just got done watching it at the theaters. The pros of this movie is that it is funny and the story is interesting and easy to follow.
The cons are that the movie focuses too much on sex, especially for its comedy. It gets to the point where this part of the comedy gets a little nasty. And there is another theme that many people, including myself, do not like too much and that's this idea that the stray dog, who was abandoned, sets out to find his owner so he can bite off his penis. This part of the writing was simply weak and not creative.
Despite the cons, this movie was largely enjoyable. I don't think I laughed out loud, but I was close several times. If you don't take it too seriously, you'll have a good time watching it even if, like me, you don't own any pets.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
Solid 4 out of 10 horror movie
I mean, come on! No one sees the trailer and goes to see this movie expecting something particularly thoughtful. My worry was that it was going to be unwatchable, which I put in the category of 3 of out of 10 movies. It certainly started out like that.
The beginning of the movie was quite terrible. The opening horror scene lacked any level of creativity or imagination. As we get closer to the middle part, gets a little better but we don't really get a clear idea of what kills this entity, or whatever you want to call it.
The ending is where the movie really picks up (although I'm not referring to the "random" scene at the very end). It feels like there is some level of pay off for having spent over an hour watching it. Don't get me wrong, it's a 5 of 10 ending, but that exceeds what one might expect after having seen the movie's trailer.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
If you're dumb, you will love this movie
Many enemies attack John but they like to attack him one at a time because they're respectful and wait their turn.
The story line does not exist, just shooting. It starts off with John shooting some random Arabs and an important black character just gets randomly killed off.
The bullets have no impact on John. Falling off a 5-story building has no impact on him either. Just gets up. But the movie is not called "Superman."
The dialogue was written by a 12 year old.
It tries to be funny by having a dog bite the testicles off one of the bad guys and then pee on that dead bad guy. Seems to have worked because almost the entire theater burst into laughter.
If you're one of the dumb guys, go ahead and click "No" on the "Was this review helpful?"
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Great Scenary, Great Action, But Oriented Too Much Towards Young Audience
The scenery in this movie is quite amazing, especially if you are watching it in the movie theaters. The action deserves a lot of praise except for 3 aspects. First, there is a high degree to which it's unrealistic. Second, when there is hardship or loss among the good guys, it simply comes off as arbitrary. Third, the movie does not justify to me why the bad guy does what he does of hunting down the good guys (there's a bit of a story to it, but I just don't feel it).
Yes, the themes of family and adjusting to a new home are present. And yes, this is a feel-good movie. But after having just gotten done watching it, it feels the movie was all over the place, the bad guy did not really have a concrete plan and, to the extent that he did have a concrete plan, the movie did not do to justify it. He kept, randomly, taking hostage kids, and doing the consent 'hey, if you want your kids, come alone.' And after that failed, he tried again. In other words, the bad guy is made to be aggressive and dumb.
Halloween Ends (2022)
No one has high expectations for this one, rightfully so
The movie starts off with a young man who accidentally kills a child while he is babysitting. Long story short, the town he is in does not treat him well and he turns towards evil. Michael Myers, more or less plays a secondary role throughout some of the movie.
The best part of the movie are two unexpected twists, that are sort of related to each other. Let's just say the movie does not necessarily go in the direction one might think. These twists are not greatest of all time, but they do keep me from giving the movie a 2/10 and instead I would give the movie a 3.5/10. I don't want to ruin the movie and say what the twists are.
In short, you will be entertained a bit, but the movie is quite cheesy and dumb.
Barbarian (2022)
The ride was almost sublime, but the ending keeps it from being a classic
It makes no sense to write about all the aspects of this movie that are done right--There's many. So I'll write about what was not done right.
The dialogue in the beginning of the movie is a little weak. It gives off the impression that what's about to come is predictable but any sense of predictability gets turned on its head as we move forward and before the end.
When the protagonist discovers that there's a red flag, you'd expect her just to walk away. But she does not. And then she discovers another red flag, and another. She still does not simply walk away. Later we may learn that she is not simply dumb, she's a little brave too.
It becomes, at some point, a case of 'curiosity killed the cat.' But some decisions make sense more than others and more so for other characters than others. But, ultimately, don't be fooled, many decisions seen would not have been made unless the character making the decision was a little crazy.
There's build up but then the story stops and we see it from the perspective of another character. This takes something away, but it's not too bad because the way the stories connect is ultimately shown.
The ending of any movie will make or break it. If the good guys win or if the bad guys win how do they do it? Every semi-ambitious movie tries to portray a certain level of creativity. And I do think that it comes down to creatively, more than other factors. Here, it's not nothing, but I can't help but want more.
Beast (2022)
If you look at this movie's rating on IMDb, you'll get the wrong impression
Before watching this movie, I knew that it was rated poorly (it's at 5.9/10 now). So I didn't have high expectations. I'm writing this review so that others are not misled.
The movie starts off with a seemingly irreverent scene of lion poachers hunting a pride (group) of lions. Despite killing several lions, something goes wrong and a lion fights back. Then we see a family (father and two daughters) visiting Africa in what appears to be a vacation. They are staying with a friend of the father (played by Idris). At some point, after they get to the friend's place, the friend gives them a tour but then things go wrong. This movie is more than just about a lion hunting down some humans, albeit, that's the main part.
We get to see some decent views of the African wild. We get one particularly amazing action scene. It is a survival movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat. So why is it rated below a 6?
First, some of the decision making is either not smart or annoying. But it's not completely over the top. In a traumatic situation the kinds of decisions that characters make are very possible despite what other reviews have written.
Second, the movie has a degree to which it is not realistic. I can't push back too much on this other than to say that there have been stories of a lion fighting off individuals who were armed. Add to that the dark and it makes some sense.
The reason I would give this movie a 7.5 out of 10 is that beyond those 2 criticisms above, there is not too much wrong with the movie and I liked the bigger lesson behind the movie: No matter how difficult the challenge always be ready to give it everything you got!
Bullet Train (2022)
Action, But Thoughtful and Creative
Let's keep it simple: Cons and Pros
Cons:
-The beginning will have a lot scenes with characters walking and music playing in the background. It's not necessarily particularly good or bad, but it's just overdone.
-The early scenes where there is just a bunch of killings and music playing is completely off both with the music itself, the acting, and manner of killing.
-There is not a deeper message behind the story even though the movie sort of tries to go for it.
-The story is not deep.
Pros:
-The action (with a few exception, mainly in the beginning) is fairly thoughtful and creative.
-The twists are decent and not completely predictable.
-The CGI is amazing.
-It's a 'you'll be on the edge of your seat' type of movie.
Vengeance (2022)
I'm bored writing this review
Just got done watching it. There are moments that the movie wants to make us think are deep and thought-provoking but are not. That is not to say that there is still not a smaller degree to which it is thoughtful. Ultimately, there is a feeling of disorganization and no consistent theme on what all this is about.
Some actions seem unnatural and inconsistent to the main character (and to a lesser degree for some other characters), including action/s taken at the end of the movie. I won't say more about that because I don't want to include spoilers. And about the ending, yes, it is slightly surprising which is a plus. But it's not some brilliant idea. I was hoping for some bigger truth.
Other than that, there is comedy, but if you watch the trailer, you've already seen the vast majority of it. It's not the worst comedy, but definitely not something that stands out. And to be fair, that's not it's selling point. The selling point is supposed to be the search for some bigger truth and there the movie leaves more to be desired.
Nope (2022)
Disappointed but still entertained
The beginning and middle of the movie were decent. OK, sure, risking your life to capture something on video doesn't necessarily make complete sense, but the only other realistic option would be to sell the property and move (and the movie presents some reasons for why that was an undesired option).
I was surprised how willing the movie was to simply show us the ship. And I found myself saying OK, so far this will be a solid 8/10 movie, I just need the ending to surprise me in a positive way and to give me something original. This is where the movie misses the mark, more or less, completely. The ending is simply weak and a bit random in the sense that it is unconvincing.
We don't get too many alien movies. I had higher hopes for this one and, although I was still entertained, I felt there was much more potential here.
The Black Phone (2021)
The Big Creative Plot: Girl Has Dreams of Events that Actually Happened
I just can't get past the most uncreative and cliche plot a movie can have: A young girl whose dreams are based on actual events. Whose big brain idea was that? OK, sure, the slightly bigger plot is that a guy is kidnapping children that are never seen again, but the movie constantly reminds of the dreams.
The beginning of the movie feels very much like it had been written by a 5th grader. The protagonist is in what appears to be middle school in 1970s Colorado. He's bullied but seems to be handling it OK and even having some useful friends. But then children start to disappear in this neighborhood. We see a black van pull by and a guy take them away until it's the protagonist's turn.
Then, the middle part of the movie is when kidnapped protagonist has sporadic interactions with the kidnapper who always seems to wear a mask. I give the movie kudos for at least having this bad guy have a couple of different masks so that it's not the same one every time. The bad guy is not one who would just torture or kill this protagonist immediately, but he does keep him in the basement sound proof room. In this room is a high-raised window, bed, and a hallway into a room that contains the toilet and rolled up carpet.
If you can get past the annoying dreams, this middle part of the movie is relatively interesting because the protagonist has different plans for escape. He gets these plans from the other kidnapped children calling on the phone. The phone is actually disconnected and there is nothing to connect it to. The bad guy actually tells the protagonist that it does not work, that the rings are just random static reactions or something along those lines. But at one point, he answers the phone and someone, again one of the other children, answers. It appears that these calls are the protagonists own imaginations, but they still contain specific useful information.
The final third of the movie is also interesting if can continue to not get annoyed by the dreams. I don't want to give too much away, but you can imagine the kinds of ideas for escape that might be tried. With this kind of movie there is a degree of predictability but there are some twists that are not at all bad. We do get a couple of somewhat graphic and scary scenes at this part of the movie, but they are quite short.
If you take away some of the sci-fi elements of the movie and tweak the story-line just one bit, this could have easily been a decent horror movie, at least 7/10. If you watch it, likely you will feel entertained and annoyed at the same time--However, I think 3/10 is an accurate and objective rating for an adult who watches this movie.
Watcher (2022)
The Art of Simplicity Taken Just a Tiny Bit Too Far
7.5/10
The plot is fairly simple--and that's not a bad thing. An American couple moves to Bucharest, the capital of Romania. The husband is actually half Romanian, on his mother side, and speaks the Romanian language. The wife--who is the protagonist--is learning the language. The wife notices that when she looks out of the apartment window at night, very often she will see someone starring out, seemingly toward her window, but she can't be completely sure. One day, she is walking by at night, with her husband, and passes by police cars and the ambulance in what she learns was a murder. Later she even sees it on TV. On another day, she is in a relatively empty theater and some guy sits right behind her. She ends up just leaving and going to a grocery store. There she feels someone is following her, perhaps the same guy. She ends up running out through a back door. Now, she isn't completely sure if she is being paranoid or if she is being stalked.
So what kept this move from getting a 10/10? First, I think it was short. There is only so much you can pack in an hour and a half and a huge portion of that was spend in building the story up (not to say that part was boring). Second, it is to some extent predictable but, with a few exceptions (that are important, see last sentence of this review), not in a way that takes too much from the quality of the movie. And certainly, I could not have predicted with a great degree whether the more obvious looking bad guy was in fact the bad guy. Third, although it does have creativity, that creativity is limited to no more than a handful of scenes.
OK, what are the aspects that made this a solid horror movie. It may not apply to everyone, but there is a decent amount of unintentional comedy in this movie. If someone is being overly creepy, it can just be funny. Beyond that, the suspense is certainly something that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Scenes that catch you off guard and make you go 'Wow!' I'm mainly referencing scenes where the protagonist encounters who she believes is the bad guy in situation where she is not being chased and gets to talk to him: "Why are you following me?" Followed by an answer that could very well be a legitimate response, or just mind games. The scenery in this movie was solid, with decent shots of the insides of old European architecture.
I think the writers of this movie wanted to create something that was quality. But the biggest criticism is perhaps that there is not anything that was ultra unique to make this a classic. This is another way of saying that the big picture was predictable although, trust me, you'll doubt yourself through out that last 1/3 of the movie. One way of summarizing this movie is that it is the best possible movie a movie can be and, at the same time, not be a classic.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Cash-Grab Written by a 12 Year Old, Unbearably Predictable, Painfully Unrealistic
The plot is that dinosaurs are on the streets all over the world and the people have to live with them in their everyday life. But then the daughter (or clone really) of the main characters gets kidnapped, along with a baby dinosaur, and the main character/s have to rescue them. Thus, it's about all the obstacles--the aggressive dinosaurs mainly--that they have to deal with. That's it.
The cheesy lines throughout this movie become unbearable. It's also one of the most predictable movies you'll ever see. Oh, the good guy is trying to escape a dinosaur, I wonder what will happen... Oh, the bad guy is trying to escape a dinosaur, I wonder what will happen... No matter how unrealistic it might be for the good guy to survive such a situation, the movie will go for it. Now, don't get me wrong, everyone knows that this is going to be a completely unrealistic movie. But at some point, it becomes completely over the top unrealistic.
I should also add, that the movie is not funny if anyone was thinking that that might save it. A lot of the movie was filmed at night, so we don't even really get to get a decent look at the dinosaurs either.
So what are the positives? There aren't any major ones. As for insignificant positives, I can say that some of scenery looks nice. Or that there is 1 or 2 dinosaur chase scenes that I might give a B-. But that's about it. In summation, it's 2.5 hours of cheesy lines, poorly seen dinosaurs (because of the night), and predictable dinosaur chases.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Cheesy AF; a Cash-Grab; & 75% Boring, 25% Unoriginal/Predictable
One way of thinking about this movie is that a third of it is Captain Pete "Mav" (played by Tom Cruise) training other pilots, a third is Mav smiling with feel-good music playing in the background, and a third is the actual mission, a.k.a. The action part. The training is painfully uninteresting and cheesy. The smiling is fine because it's expected and creates a positive atmosphere for the viewer. It also makes the viewer more attached to the character when that character is in trouble later in the movie.
The actual mission is the last third and I have the most to say about that. I should point out that it probably was not a third in terms of the actual portion of the movie that it covered. More accurately, it's probably about a fifth of the movie or less. This was the best part of the movie, but even this was not great or even that good. As mentioned, it's a fairly smaller part of the movie. But beyond that, the scenes are completely predictable. Now, just because something is predictable does not necessarily make it bad. The feeling here is that this action-part of the movie feels like watching the trailer over and over for 20-30 minutes. There is nothing that unique about the entire scene. The only positive aspect of it is that it's not boring.
One last note, the storyline, it almost doesn't exist. The storyline is that there's a mission that has to be completed. That's it. In summation, the movie leaves a lot to be desired.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
So many questions and no answers, but that's OK
We don't know the rules that the world in this movie operates. As information and scenes are presented, it clarifies and confuses us all at the same time. Is the movie playing by its own rules or is it being sloppy? Even if you pay attention, you won't be able to tell. But maybe that's the point.
If you were to ask: What is this movie about? I could give a pretty long list. It's about love, family, suicide, life, pain, confusion, the meaning of life, anger, happiness, kindness, being OK with imperfection (see title).
Relatively early on, we hear the phrase "Nothing matters" and we feel how true that is. Then, the movie tries to convince us otherwise. Successfully? I don't know. But it makes us feel that in this one moment in this character's life, some things matter even if in the infinite span of the universe it may not.
I feel that I should not be rating this movie, but instead giving it a N/A rating. It's not perfect, it can't be, but it does make the viewer emotional and think. I've watched a ton of movies in the last couple of months/years and my first reaction is to point out all the things wrong with them. But with this one, I feel like that's not what it's about. But I'm not sure I can answer what it's about in a way that gets to it's essence (see title, "everything"). But let me give it a desperate attempt.
Life is hard. You're not perfect. Don't give up.
The Northman (2022)
Random Ritual, Nothing Happens, Random Gore, & the End
You know one of those movies that you are glad ended, this is one of them. I went to watch this movie because I love medieval movies (e.g., Braveheart). What a disappointment.
It starts off with the king ("father") and his son performing this ritual where they pretend to be dogs or wolfs. The writers obviously did not put too much thought into this part. In ritual, he swears to avenge his father should he ever be killed. And what do you know, the next scene we see the king get killed (just like the trailer showed) by his brother. There was no serious build up to it at all.
Then, the son escapes and we get the "Years Later" text. Now he's an adult and a warrior. He uses the iron brand on himself so that he can pretend to be a slave and he gets on a slave ship to go get his revenge. He gets to a village where his uncle (the killer of his father, the king) is ruling. Of course, his uncle does not recognize the protagonist because he is an adult now.
Next, you might expect him to get his revenge, right? No! He just kind of hangs out and nothing happens for a long time. Then, he decides on tormenting his uncle's people. He eventually competes in this ball-like game where he does well and is awarded more privileges in that village and he also gets to pick his slave girl. He picks Anya Taylor-Joy's character and we are supposed to just believe that they love each other even though that is never developed in the movie. The only development is that right away they have sex and that's it.
He begins killing off some of the people at this village. Eventually he is caught, after he kills the oldest son of the uncle. The uncle tortures him and then just leaves him tied up on rope. Get this, ravens just randomly--or because he can communicate with them (remember the beginning where he pretends to be a dog/wolf)--bite the rope so that he can escape. Yes, it's that dull.
In the midst of all that, he does let his mother know, that it's him and she has a weird incest scene with him where she tells him that he would be ruler and she would be the queen. Also, she tells him that she wanted the uncle to kill his father because the father was a bad guy. He just leaves in anger and frustration that she would talk about his father like that.
Eventually he discovers that his slave girl is pregnant while he is on a ship with her. So he jumps out so that he can go fight the uncle, probably so that the uncle is not alive to come after him or his kids later.
He first has an encounter with the mother who he kills (she was attacking him). Then he gets attacked by the youngest son, who is maybe 10, and he kills that son although it was likely more because the son was stabbing him in his neck with a small knife.
Then, the uncle comes and sees this, telling him that he will meet him later at Hel, which is the volcano that is shown throughout the movie and that looks completely fake (bad CGI). They do meet there and fight. I'm not going to give away the ending here, but after that fight the movie ends.
That's it. Add in random gore in there and maybe 3 nude scenes and that's the entire movie.
Are there any positives? I think the music and sound are excellent. Also, I think there is an attempt at being creative. I can appreciate that, but that effort fails pretty hard.
Ambulance (2022)
This Almost Never Happens
I finished watching it 30 minutes ago and my very first thought is that it's a bank robbery classic that will have you on the edge of your seat for a good 2 hours.
Before I watched it, I saw that it was rated 6.5 stars and I thought, 'great, I have to sit through a 2 hour mediocre move.' It's extremely rare for me to watch a movie and rate it higher than what it is rated on here, but this one is it.
I think, perhaps, the reason why some rate it so low is because it does show cops getting hurt and it does show 2 brothers, one of who is white and the other one black (some seem to have a problem with that for whatever reason). That's just what I could gather from running through the reviews I saw on here. (So perhaps don't trust the ratings on here because that could be due to politics).
This movie is correctly more of a 9 (and that's what I would rate it if it was not skewed on this website) but because it is rated so lowly on here, I decided to bump it up to a 10.
I'll point out a couple of observations in this move, both positive and negative.
First, there are emotional moments in certain movies and sometimes what happens is that you get an emotional moment in a movie but it feels very unwarranted. Not in this movie--If someone is crying or frustrated, you feel it.
Second, in this move the characters use our modern technology in ways we don't usually see in movies. I don't want to give away more than that.
Third, there is a high degree to which this movie is unrealistic, but it does not completely push that limit.
Fourth, even though the characters are intelligent and we can see that, there are some decisions that are questionable in terms preparation to rob a bank. One would expect a smart bank robbery to involve many weeks or months of preparation for everyone involved.
Fifth, the comedy in this movie is not abundant, but there is fair bit and it is perfectly done so that it does not take away from the seriousness of what's going on.
Sixth, the ending of any bank robbery movie makes or breaks it. If the bad guys are successful then the bad guys win and that's not what people usually want to see (unless somehow the bad guys are portrayed as the good guys, which can't really be done very easily or successfully). If the bad guys ultimately fail then what was the point of watching all of that? The ending here is not the worst or best you will see for a bank robbery. It does try to just a touch creative, but the problem is that we need more. That's the main reason, the objective rating for this movie is 9/10.
Seventh, there is a bit of gore in this movie. Really, it's 2 main instances. One instance is slightly distasteful (no reason to show that), if you ask me. The other one, which seemed to have bothered the people in the theaters more, I found to be fine. But these scenes are so short, that looking away for a very quick moment will allow you to still enjoy this move, if that kind of thing is a problem for you.
A Quiet Place (2018)
Creatures that hunt by sound is creative, but that's where the creativety ends
Thumbs up for the general story line that involves creatures that hunt based on sound. Unfortunately, that's where the creativity ends. Everything else that happens you have seen in some other movie.
Let me say that from first watching the trailer, I thought this movie was going to be great, but it did not live up to my expectations.
Usually movies with children actors does not turn out to be very good. Here, that is not the issue--they did great.
The other red flag was this was a relatively short movie that was rated PG13. This one was an issue. In the hour and a half, or so, of this movie, the sense I got leaving the theater was that nothing really happened. Think of it this way, if you have a movie with creatures that hunt a family (and the wife is pregnant, as shown in the movie trailer), what would you expect to see in that movie? Write down the first 10 things that come to mind. There! That's the movie. You can try this before you watch it and tell me how many of those 10 things you see in the movie.
I want to see something different, something creative beyond just the general story line.
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The movie flaws are pointed out by many other reviews on this site. The only one I disagree with is 'why would they have a baby in this environment.' Because life happens! Condoms break, for example.
Here's some other flaws.
The creature although fast, always seems to be like 100-200 feet from where the sound is made. Yet, we only get a few scenes where the characters run into the creature.
If a shotgun shot (to the head) kills these creatures and the creatures are blind why not just shoot them when you run into them? If these creatures hunt based on sound, why not just move out of the way when sound is made?
Why are these creatures not attracted to sound made by nonhumans? For example, why don't they attack the water fall? Why didn't the military just wipe them out? I mean if a shotgun can kill them what can a blackhawk helicopter do? Or just a soldier?
Additionally, there are many ways they would be able to manipulate sound to district this creature beyond the fireworks (loud speakers & radios in isolated places).
Thoroughbreds (2017)
A+ on Sound & Visuals, But Painfully Simple Story & Ending
The visuals, in combination with the sound/music, are spectacular in this movie--probably the best I've ever seen in any movie. A few of scenes are slightly funny (darkly funny), but I would never call this a comedy. Everything else leaves something to be desired.
The ending felt abrupt and left me feeling 'there's got to be more than this to the ending.' The people in the movie theater were sitting through a lot of the movie credits--I think they were doing that with the same thinking, 'really that's it, there isn't more?' Now when I say abrupt, I don't mean that in the traditional sense (where there is, say, a cliffhanger). SPOILER. Here, the main character goes and kills her step-father and frames her no-feelings friend. The idea being that the no-feelings friend has no life worth living. That's it, that's the ending. That's the kind of abrupt I mean.
Herushingu (2001)
As cheesy as Pokemon but with no creativity
I intend this to be review for the adult (21 plus) audience. I watched the first 3 episodes and, thus far, Hellsing, offered nothing of value to me.
I first thought that perhaps the translation was what was causing the lines to be cheesy, but after hearing them continuously I've realized that that can't be the case.
The point I want to make is that I've relied on IMDb to get a good idea of the quality of movies/shows and over the years I've found that 9 out of 10 times the ratings on here do a good job of that. However, when it comes to anime, cartoons, and other younger audience shows, this is definitely not the case if you are older and that is to be expected--too many youngsters watch the show and come on here to give the show 10 stars.
At 8.1, I thought that maybe this anime would have something to offer. But I didn't find one moment of creativity or something I have not seen somewhere else before. This was clear after the 1st episode. I find no reason to give the Hellsing 2 stars--even the fighting scenes--which is what some praise Hellsing for--are cheesy. This is not really a spoiler: One guy shoots another a bunch of times, but the guy/vampire getting shot does not die. Instead, he takes out his gun and shoots the guy who just shot him. That's literally what happens.