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New York Ninja (2021)
The greatest martial arts parody EVER MADE!
If you want to see a REAL 80s action movie--80s cars, 80s music, explosions, fight scenes on helipads, guys hanging from choppers, scantilly-clad girls with 80s hair, and bad guys dressed in all black leather with chains round their necks--THIS IS THE ONE!
The fight scenes? HORRIBLE! The murders? Straight out of the Benny Hill show. And irony? Every so often they pan to one of those I HEART NY stickers. There's even a white-clad ninja on rollerskates!
One of the best things about the movie is a young Cynthia Rothrock showing off her thighs and undies every time she throws high kicks. (You won't see that in a Chuck Norris film.) This film is so dumb that it's brilliantly funny--but still not as dumb as a Bruce Lee film.
If I could give this film 20 stars I would! Bravo!
Tone-Deaf (2019)
A woke horror comedy
A truly idiotic movie. Imagine mixing trite dead-pan horror comedy with feminism/wokeism. I would really like to meet the scriptwriter and see if there's anything there when I look into their eyes. I wish I could get my 90 minutes back.
A Simple Favor (2018)
Don't waste your time
A lousy script. Blake Lively does a good job playing a rich blonde psycho who bullies and terrorizes everyone around her, but the rest of the actors are AWFUL, including Anna Kendrick (of course). After watching this film, I felt I needed to do some reading to restore my IQ.
The Jesus Rolls (2019)
Ridiculous spinoff of The Big Lebowski
I don't see the point of this movie. There isn't a single funny line. The talents of Audrey Tautou and Susan Sarandon are waisted here. They try to make the film heart-warming but failed at that as well. A real waste of time, trying to make money off the storyline of The Big Lebowski. Swing and a miss.
Employee of the Month (2006)
The Matt Dillon movie is better than this garbage
Almost all the actors/characters in this film are annoying as hell, especially Dane Cook. Don't know if it's the characters or the actors, but whatever. If you wanna watch a dumb movie just to see Jessica Simpson, fine, but that's all you'll get. And I don't see what right they had to use the same title as the movie starring Matt Dillon, which was released 2 years earlier and is a much better film.
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
Typical animalistic Anglo-Saxon violence
A stupid, violent movie based on a stupid, boring book. Definitive proof that Anglo-Americans are the destroyers of culture, and that Anglo-Saxons are little better than animals, not much different from their German cousins.
The Nice Guys (2016)
OMG IT'S STUPID!
This film has a 7.4 rating??? Just shows what a bunch of idiots the American people are.
The Iceman (2012)
Best Mob flick since Goodfellas
Michael Shannon plays Kuklinski to the letter and Ray Liotta plays Roy DeMeo to perfection. It even has the guy who played Moe Greene in The Godfather.
The Prodigy (2019)
Horrible
One of the worst movies I have ever seen. Dull story with totally incompetent acting. Avoid.
The Boy (2016)
This one is a MUST SEE!
One of the best horror films I've ever seen. An old-fashioned psychological thriller with a twist. Excellent plot and dialogue. Only a little gore for realism. I won't give away the ending cuz it's too good. And the whole thing takes place in a British mansion that would make Christopher Lee proud.
The Ring (2002)
OMG, THIS IS ONE IS STUPID!!!
Perhaps the dumbest horror movie I have ever seen, and that's saying a lot. The "found video" genre is dumb enough to begin with, but this one takes stupidity to new heights.... I was going to write more, but just thinking about it makes my head hurt, so enough said.
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)
Perhaps the WORST movie I ever saw!
Sydney Lumet directed some pretty good films. This is NOT one of them.
It starts off with a sex scene featuring a good, long look at Philip Seymour Hoffman's naked big, fat ass. And it gets worse....
Younger brother Hank (Ethan Hawke) was supposed to rob his own parents' jewelry store--at the urging of older brother Andy (Hoffman)--but hires a friend to do it instead, so the brothers' mom gets killed. As the English say, not bloody likely!
The second half of the film turns into a family melodrama with a lot of recriminations and crying, mostly from older brother Andy.
The film ends with a Quentin Tarantino-style bloody shootout in which about a dozen people get killed. Then the father (Albert Finney), in revenge for the killing of his wife, suffocates son Andy with a pillow.
The film tries to compare/contrast the world of the working class v. the world of the upper middle class, but the whole storyline comes off as labored, contrived and convoluted. The film's only redeeming quality is that Marisa Tomei (Andy's wife) shows some T&A in a few scenes, especially at the 15 minute mark. So if you want, you can fast forward to that part, watch it, and then pop the DVD out. I wish I had.
The Departed (2006)
OMG it's awful!
This might be the worst movie I ever saw. The acting is bad from all parties (likely the director's fault), but Jack Nicholson's performance stands out as THE WORST--I guess he thought he was still filming "The Shining" because his voice and all his mannerisms are identical to those he used for Jack Torrance in the Overlook Hotel. Matt Damon was OK but even he couldn't save it. If I could give this film a rating of negative 20 stars, I would.