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Reviews
The Dark Tower (2017)
Drivel
REVIEW: The Dark Tower
There should be a way to leave minus ratings.
This. Is. Tripe.
Did they even read the books? Like, any of the books?
Poor casting, and a script clearly written with crayon.
I saw this nonsense when it first came out and remember spending most of the time in the cinema turning to my mate and asking - what the bleep.
It is airing on TV tonight so I thought to myself maybe it was not that bad. I will watch it again. Sometimes films are better the second time around or they have the ability to grow on you. Like, I dunno, fungus.
Second go round Verdict: it is as I remembered. Maybe worse, actually. If that is even possible.
The first go round left me with PTSD.
Why I went back for seconds? God only knows. Maybe it is like they say giving birth is. Trauma. Pain. But somehow you forget.
No. Just: no.
The people that made this have forgotten the faces of their fathers.
Still Up (2023)
Weak
This is trying too hard. It's not at all believable or interesting and will get on your nerves.
It has a falseness about it. An inorganic, tried to be cute, tried to be quirky, and failed at both, mess that left this viewer puzzled as to how it got made or, rather, why they persisted once they saw how weak it was.
The best thing was an article the male character (a writer) was penning about Prince and Bowie which, if you pause play during the scene, you can read off his laptop screen. The dog destroyed it but it was a good, albeit, unfinished read.
I started at five stars but, with each episode, reduced my rating to reflect where it left me which was, as I said above, on my last nerve.
Don't.
RRR (Rise Roar Revolt) (2022)
Superhuman storytelling
Love. Romance. Revolution. Colonialism. Racism. Tyranny. Wickedness. Resilience. Brutality. Loyalty. Strategy. A sense of entitlement that is literally sickening. Cowardice. The long con, and a brilliant (advanced cardio efficiency required) dance challenge.
The film has it all.
It reminded me of biblical stories and The Terminator: times two. With singing and dancing to boot. Both leading men are exemplary. There is no filler. Minor characters are incredibly strong. Some of the best computer graphics I've ever seen in a three + hours long, and layered beyond belief, rollercoaster of Superhuman storytelling.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Psychotic, creative, incredible!!
Michelle Yeoh: is a bad ass.
Jamie's relatively small part was a stroke of casting genius. She smashed it. Literally.
Whilst nightmarish in places, the originality is outstanding. I found myself thinking about the person or persons who thought this up, and that they could very well be in straitjacket/s somewhere but, man alive, I am in awe of their talent.
A surreal, vast, almost operatic film with beautifully choreographed action, quirky and hilariously comedic throughout 👀.
As a person who cannot leave a chemist without buying yet another lip balm (seriously, I've got, like, hundreds of them) I'll never look at them in quite the same way again.
What an unexpected gem of a movie. I loved it.
10/10.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
Weak
Frances's screams and (occasionally) Eddie's asides are the only highlights; for me. And, of course, the next-movie-clip-bait at the end of the credits - they're always worth waiting around for.
The movie itself was just blah.
Nobody (2021)
No filler
Flawless flick.
An original approach to such a concept.
Subtle touches, and attention to detail that was both forensic and classy.
If this movie was an album, it would be all A sides. No part of this movie is filler.
Joker (2019)
Late to the Joker's party
After almost a year of hearing, 'you've got to see this film', I realise I'm late to the Joker's party but, I finally sat down to watch this today and was struck from the outset by miraculous storytelling akin to that which I experienced as a child and went on to elicit the compulsion in me to work in a creative field as an adult.
It is rare, especially now, in a movie world that seems to have lost it's original creativity, to be lucky enough to witness a piece of art (because that's what this is to this viewer) that embodies so many enviable qualities. From cool, dark, poetic and unexpected; to eloquent and balletic with a beautiful melancholy weaving through a sometimes genuinely funny, frightening and beautifully shot film.
I found I could not take my eyes off him. He's compelling, and worrying, but with such a sweetness about him.
Q: Can a murderer be sweet?
A: Yes he can.
It has a 'once upon a time' fairytale feel that I found I couldn't fault, and now know it will be a film that will demand rewatching.
No doubt, with every viewing, you'll see and hear something you didn't see or hear before.
It's the film equivalent of a great album that you'd only ever listened to on vinyl and then you hear it, digitally, and with a great pair of headphones, and experience it on a whole other level.
It's a beautiful film that made this viewer lean in and one which reminded me of silent movies, and the classics, and graphic novels all rolled into one chilling gem.
I love the possibility that The Joker and Bruce Wayne are half-brothers. That's an unexpected and quite intriguing twist right there.
If there was ever a 'bad guy' to root for, well: this is that bad guy.
Killing Eve (2018)
Not since Hannibal Lecter...
Not since Dr. Hannibal Lecter have we been treated to such a charismatic, classy and utterly terrifying killer.
Please, sir. I want some more ....