If there'd ever be a genre named "Bad", this movie would definitely be on that list. Yes, I know there are good, bad-movies, but this movie isn't even that. Both the acting, directing, plot, script, FX, etc. is something you could expect from a bunch of teenagers doing their school assignment.
1,5 hour of my life I will never get back...
Reviews
7 Reviews
Beta Test
(I) (2016)
Hopefully the worst movie this year...
8 August 2016
Some times a year you just end up with one of those C-class movies, and this time it was Beta Test. Though the plot was quit interesting (the obvious reason why I watched it; almost as from an Ernest Cline novel), the movie in total was awful. The acting was lousy (cheap pron stars?) and the director obviously had better things to do than being on the set; no drive, no mind twisting turns. Nothing but amateur fighting to keep the movie afloat.
Highlight? Only 83 minutes of your life gone.
3/10 for being a movie the Cohen brothers, J.J.Abrahms or the likes could turn into something quite cool.
Highlight? Only 83 minutes of your life gone.
3/10 for being a movie the Cohen brothers, J.J.Abrahms or the likes could turn into something quite cool.
Jupiter Ascending
(2015)
Who is paying me?
25 April 2015
Recipe for Jupiter Ascending. Ingredients: - A handful of characters and plots from the Percy Jackson-movies, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, Divergent, Signs, MiB and Guardians of the Galaxy. - Too many hours of CGI-work. - A bunch of actors (use mostly the bad ones)
In a bowl, mix together the plots and characters of you choosing. Throw it onto the bench and kneed it quickly. In the CGI-oven, bake for too many hours (don't worry: it will still be raw inside). When out of patience: put it on an uninspiring serving-plate and top it of with Gerard Butler.
PS! Do not serve in cinemas, and pay people well to digest it without falling asleep.
In a bowl, mix together the plots and characters of you choosing. Throw it onto the bench and kneed it quickly. In the CGI-oven, bake for too many hours (don't worry: it will still be raw inside). When out of patience: put it on an uninspiring serving-plate and top it of with Gerard Butler.
PS! Do not serve in cinemas, and pay people well to digest it without falling asleep.
You're Next
(2011)
Shortened lifetime.
25 January 2014
I have seen a lot of seriously bad movies in my lifetime, but this one is one of those that doesn't even realize it sucks big time... I mean: a couple of tits in the beginning does not make up for the lack of neither a plausible plot nor acting! Playing Hay Day is more interesting that this movie!
Going down in technical details: the sound was at some points chorus like, meaning they actually ignored mic's out of sync (with each other) in the mix. The make-up wasn't even up to magazine standards, and the "special fx", where far from special.
I seldom vote movies this low, but if some movies are not worth the entry fee, this one isn't even worth the thought...
Going down in technical details: the sound was at some points chorus like, meaning they actually ignored mic's out of sync (with each other) in the mix. The make-up wasn't even up to magazine standards, and the "special fx", where far from special.
I seldom vote movies this low, but if some movies are not worth the entry fee, this one isn't even worth the thought...
The Amazing Spider-Man
(2012)
One of the best adaptations.
19 October 2012
Having realized I'm a sucker for all these comic book adaptations, of course I had to see this one as well. I never did like the earlier Spiderman movies, being the main role or the supporting ones, I'm not sure; but they still stand among the movies I'm not eager to watch again. But this one, on the contrary, was actually quite entertaining. Not was it only packed with really great CGI, but it had a great flow built up on both action, drama, romance and humor.
At least for me this is what makes a good movie. I never once thought "Oh, my goodness that was lame" (which I often actually do), instead I was rather surprised I was laughing out loud in more than one of the scenes.
All the actors did a MARVELous job, meaning all the jokes, the depth of the drama, and the sincerity of both the romance and the action stood solid throughout the movie. Speaking of the actors: the casting was brilliant. All of the main actors (and I guess most of the supporting ones) was perfect for their roles, and must have made the script it self proud.
At least for me this is what makes a good movie. I never once thought "Oh, my goodness that was lame" (which I often actually do), instead I was rather surprised I was laughing out loud in more than one of the scenes.
All the actors did a MARVELous job, meaning all the jokes, the depth of the drama, and the sincerity of both the romance and the action stood solid throughout the movie. Speaking of the actors: the casting was brilliant. All of the main actors (and I guess most of the supporting ones) was perfect for their roles, and must have made the script it self proud.
The Innkeepers
(2011)
The Sickening...
22 January 2012
This movie could be someones college film project...
Bad casting: one decent actor, and the others of eBay? Bad scripting: Was the script writer being paid for a short-script? Bad directing: ...or the lack of it. Bad horror make-up: child labor is not allowed, guys! Bad acting: blame the script writer and the director for the decent actor, and the rest on scholarship cut-backs...?
The plot is not even somewhat original, but this movie actually won the "Scariest film"-award at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival 2011!? Bad horror year? Cause I've seen scarier commercials... But on the positive side: they didn't use a lot of topless girls to make up for the "pointlessness" of the movie!
I've been writing this review during the last part of the movie (was so bored), and are now hoping for an The American Psycho-ending: ...waited in vain.
Bad casting: one decent actor, and the others of eBay? Bad scripting: Was the script writer being paid for a short-script? Bad directing: ...or the lack of it. Bad horror make-up: child labor is not allowed, guys! Bad acting: blame the script writer and the director for the decent actor, and the rest on scholarship cut-backs...?
The plot is not even somewhat original, but this movie actually won the "Scariest film"-award at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival 2011!? Bad horror year? Cause I've seen scarier commercials... But on the positive side: they didn't use a lot of topless girls to make up for the "pointlessness" of the movie!
I've been writing this review during the last part of the movie (was so bored), and are now hoping for an The American Psycho-ending: ...waited in vain.
The Librarian: Quest for the Spear
(2004 TV Movie)
Not deep, but enjoyable.
31 March 2011
So I just saw this movie; only 7 years after it's release...
As the last reviewer mentioned, it has a lot of typical Indiana Jones' "things" to it; riddles, conspiracies, ancient secret artifacts, and of course the same kind of humor, amongst other. All of which makes it a quite entertaining and enjoyable family movie. I must say that I'm a sucker for adventures like the ones the movies characters are going on. Probably brings me back to my childhood fantasies. You know: Being the brave and smart hero, saving the world, and getting the girl. All of these things make me forgive the extremely lousy fight scenes, all the fake studio-shot outdoor scenes, the unrealistic animations, and bad key-framing.
But for me a movie is fortunately not just a science in making the viewer believing that the story is true. It is all about bringing me into a wonderful new adventure, where everything is possible, and only hindered by the movie makers fantasies.
It is now 1.22 am, and I'm about to watch The Librarian 2. Hope I will enjoy jet another "cosy" reality flight.
As the last reviewer mentioned, it has a lot of typical Indiana Jones' "things" to it; riddles, conspiracies, ancient secret artifacts, and of course the same kind of humor, amongst other. All of which makes it a quite entertaining and enjoyable family movie. I must say that I'm a sucker for adventures like the ones the movies characters are going on. Probably brings me back to my childhood fantasies. You know: Being the brave and smart hero, saving the world, and getting the girl. All of these things make me forgive the extremely lousy fight scenes, all the fake studio-shot outdoor scenes, the unrealistic animations, and bad key-framing.
But for me a movie is fortunately not just a science in making the viewer believing that the story is true. It is all about bringing me into a wonderful new adventure, where everything is possible, and only hindered by the movie makers fantasies.
It is now 1.22 am, and I'm about to watch The Librarian 2. Hope I will enjoy jet another "cosy" reality flight.
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