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Batman & Robin (1997)
Utter garbage...
Sigh. I was SO looking forward to this movie when it first came out. After stomaching Val Kilmer in Batman 3, I thought George Clooney would be a HUGE improvement. Boy, was I ever wrong. This movie was a total disaster from beginning to end. Let's start with Clooney as Batman. First off, Batman is supposed to be the antithesis of Bruce Wayne. Batman is HARDCORE. Batman is unbeatable one on one. Batman is Bruce Wayne's Mr. Hyde. Keaton figured that much out in his portrayal. Batman and Bruce Wayne are two separate characters and should be treated as such by the actor. Clooney played Bruce Wayne the WHOLE movie. No one wants to see Bruce Wayne in a Batman suit! Where's the edge? Where's the intimidation? Thugs should have two basic attitudes toward Batman: 1.Knee-knocking, lip-quivering, bowel-loosening panic, or 2. the "let's see how good you really are" mentality. Batman is supposed to be the baddest man on the planet and every crook knows it. B&R never shows this. Clooney either didn't get it, or was told to soften him up for easier mass-consumption. Either way, he comes off as a touchy-feely panty-waist who villains view as an mere annoyance rather than a force to be dealt with. And what the heck happened to BANE? If you remember Bane from the comics, you'll remember that he actually defeated (and crippled) Batman forcing him to find a replacment for himself. Bane deserved to be a focal movie adversary in his own right. To turn him into Ivy's flunky was an unforgivable blunder, a total waste of a possible sequel idea and completely UNNECESSARY. The movie would've been just as lousy without him. This movie was a jumbled confusing mess. There were too many characters used for there to be any solid development of ANY of them. Batgirl and Bane were simply tossed into the mix without any good reason for them being there. The constant bickering between Batman and Robin was absurd, pointless and totally out of character for Robin. He never shows an ounce of gratitude toward Bruce Wayne and comes across as a snotty, disrespectful jerk. The big action scenes are ridiculous to the point of being funny. Batman and Robin is just a miasma of stupidity and nothing like what a Batman movie should be. Don't waste your time!
Hudson Hawk (1991)
This movie defies classification.
If your personal all-time top ten list is populated with the likes of "Schindler's List" and "On Golden Pond", you will NOT enjoy this movie. If you feel that a movie should "make a statement" or, for that matter, have a point, you won't think much of Hudson Hawk. However, if you watch movies to be entertained and to have fun then I would highly recommend HH. It's not for everyone to be sure, and at times it suffers from a major identity crisis. But it's consistently funny without resorting to toilet humor like a lot of current comedy fare. Some of the jokes are incredibly stupid, but that's part of their charm. The characters are quirky, the stunts totally bizarre, and the dialogue a perpetual stream of one-liners and in-jokes. The actors appear to be having a blast and it shows. It reminds me a lot of the old "Carol Burnett Show" in the way that the cast seems to be laughing as hard as the audience. The movie is rated 'R' for language, violence and the brutal, senseless slaying of several cappuccino's.
The Animatrix: Final Flight of the Osiris (2003)
Jaw-dropping masterpiece. See it now!
Final Fantasy was merely a vehicle for Square's animation breakthrough and it showed. The novelty eventually wore off leaving you with a feeble, pointless story that should never have made it to the big screen. FFO has everything FF lacked: dynamic action sequences that would be difficult (if not impossible) to execute in live action, characters you actually CARE about and, most importantly, BREVITY. Don't get me wrong, being a HUGE Matrix fan I thought it was way too short. But crammed into those exquisite nine minutes was some of the best action sequences I've ever seen. The same level of excellence would be difficult to sustain throughout a feature-length movie. FFO is the perfect teaser for Reloaded.