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Trigger Point (2022)
I finished it I guess
The current rating of 6.4 is probably a little bit generous.
I was already, "Wait, what?" within the first 33 seconds of episode one when the police was going "lights and sirens' to the job. The police car was being overtaken on the freeway by a civilian car!! I rewound it thinking that I was seeing things - I wasn't. I commented to my missus about it and she was like, "It's a TV show, get over it".
Sadly, as an emergency services worker, it's kinda hard to get over something like that, seeing as it's wildly inaccurate, and tends to set a tone for the rest of the show. When we go 'lights and sirens' to a job, we do it at speed, that's the whole point of lights and sirens. If you are going to do the speed limit and get over-taken by members of the public, perhaps turn the bloody things off and drive there like Granny May!
Once they got to the job, the show did get interesting and it started to look better. The end of episode one made it look like it was going to go well. It took a bit of a nosedive from there.
Can't say I was a fan of Vicky McClure, nor of her character, Lana. She came across as super annoying and maintained that persona for the entire show.
The review by markfranh on 22 March 2022 does sum it up best, even if his score of 1/10 may have been a bit harsh.
Overall, it wasn't the worst show I have seen, but it could have been better, hence the 4 stars - I did finish it after all. I would probably watch a second season, but I wouldn't have high hopes. Hopefully they find a better lead actor/actress to steer the ship in S2, and also take note of some of some of the comments in the reviews to make the show a bit more realistic.
Escape Through Africa (2022)
Oh dear
The current IMDB score of 4.1 is a fairly accurate assessment of this movie (but I feel it should be lower). Seeing Eric Roberts as the lead actor should have been my first clue that this movie would bomb, but I thought I'd give it a go regardless. Although it became immediately apparent that this movie was a B-Grade movie, it did start out okay. It didn't take long to slowly get worse until it reached the level of stupid. Poor script, poor acting, terrible fight scenes, cliche story line and what can only be described as major plot holes scattered throughout. It got an extra star only because of Linn Bjornland and her cuteness :P.
Legit (2013)
Ugh - Jim Jefferies
If you are looking for a TV series about a washed up, crass, unfunny comedian who thinks he's super funny playing the role of a washed up, crass, unfunny comedian who thinks he's super funny, then this is the show for you!!
I waded through both seasons and think I chuckled about 4 times. In fairness, one of those times was actually for something Jim did, but the rest were for DJ Qualls. I was a bit surprised to see an appearance by Eddie Ifft, then realised that it was prior to the well known falling about between Jim and Eddie.
I did like DJ Qualls in this and I think that's why I persevered with it. It's also the reason for a higher score than I wanted to give.
I think the show could have been better if perhaps there was a better comedian playing the title role. I did like Jim as a comedian a long time ago, but since then he's lost the plot.
Australia has a lot to be embarrassed about: The Stolen Generation, the 1981 underarm bowling incident, Lidia Thorpe, the recent Voice Referendum, quite a few of our Prime Ministers including the current one (Albo).......and.....Jim Jefferies.
I trust that those wanting to visit Australia don't use Jim as the benchmark for what typical Aussies are like - we aren't! :)
Asteroid City (2023)
A movie where actors come to retire?
What a waste of 1 hour and 45 minutes! After seeing the cast list I was expecting a great movie, I mean come on, Tom Hanks, Margot Robbie, Scarlett Johansson, Ed Norton, Bryan Cranston, Liev Schreiber, Willem Dafoe and Matt Dillon.... This was starting to look good. How wrong I was.
I don't like giving up on a movie unless it really gets so bad that I can't handle it (For example: The Bombing with Bruce Willis).
After 5 minutes I started to think that was going to be terrible, but I persevered to give it a fair go. In hindsight should have gone with my first instinct.
Not quite sure the point of the movie and if it was meant to be a 'comedy', it was a lame attempt. How it currently has a 6.6 IMDB rating is beyond me, perhaps all of the cast and crew were instructed to leave a positive review?
I gave it a 2. One point because it wasn't the worst movie I have ever watched and a bonus point because it had Margot Robbie (even if it was practically a cameo appearance). Disappointing that Tom Hanks agreed to this one, hopefully this is not a sign that his movies will slowly get worse from this point on (Like the train wreck of Bruce Willis' final movies) :(
Da hong zha (2018)
Should have been titled "The Bomb"
Good Lord, what a train wreck.
There was a time when you'd see a Bruce Willis movie and think, "Yep, this is gonna be great". This was not one of those moments.
I had the joy of watching the English dubbed Blu-Ray version so it added a whole new element of cringe. I doubt that a subtitled Chinese version would have helped. I gave myself a headache from the amount of eye rolls given from one tragic scene to another.
I am so glad Bruce has finally retired so we cannot be subjected to any more of his recent mind-numbing, pathetic movies.
I awarded myself the IMDB 'Medal of Honor' for making it to the end of this movie. I fought through like a trooper and earned it.
American Horror Story (2011)
Season 11 - The Worst yet!
Without a doubt, season 11 has got to be the worst season to date!!!!!! In my opinion, season 5 was a bit "blah", but S11 really bombed!! I am normally a huge fan of AHS, but if this is the quality they are likely to churn out in the future, it might be time to move on to a new TV series. It was just tragic. The story line didn't really make a lot of sense and then it took some weird turn. The last two episodes were completely POINTLESS and could have been condensed into 1-15 minutes. SPOILER ALERT: What was up with the dude in the mask? Was he a ghost?? Was he real? Was he a dream? Was this entire nightmare of a season just that? A NIGHTMARE? A very poor effort from Brad and Ryan. I assume they had the work experience kids (Or interns as the American's call them) write this season as some sort of experiment to see how "loyal" the AHS fans are. I hope my review answers that question :/
The Rookie: The Choice (2022)
NOPE!!!
I actually like The Rookie, but this episode was JUST TRAGIC!!! This review will contain "spoilers" but if you watch this poor, simpleton, terribly written, disgrace of an episode, and DO NOT see the upcoming 'spoiler'....you should probably turn off the tellie!!
Imagine the intelligence level of the serial killer that she can set up a trap that manages to "trap" the EXACT intended target (out of 5-6 potential targets who could have stepped onto the 'trap'). You lost me at that!
As I watched this train wreck unfold with the missus, I made a comment that said, "If SHE, out of all those fire fighters falls into some sort of upcoming 'trap'.....I am done"
Well, F me dead if that didn't happen. This was lazy and pathetic writing on an epic level. Whoever wrote this episode should spend 10-15 years in a Federal Prison with no hope of parole.
And don't even get me started on the actual ending!!!! Is this what we will be subjected to for the rest of the season?
This is the point that I REALLY hope that The Rookie gets cancelled at the end of this tragic (and desperate) season. Either sack the writers, or make this show better!
The Jim Jefferies Show (2017)
Getting worse
Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of Jim and his inappropriate humour, but this show is pretty bad. The first episode was good and I got a few laughs, but it has gone down hill over the past 5 weeks. The most recent episode made me consider if it is worth persisting any further.
Probably the most annoying part of the show is the fact that he bangs on over and over and Trump. We get it, you don't like Trump - but you are starting to sound like a broken record now!! At least he did pick on an Aussie politician in one episode so I will credit him that.
And what is with the camera shot and the viewing screen in the left hand corner that stay still whilst everything else moves?? Budget constraints? That needs to be fixed, it's annoying.
All in all if this show continues down the same path I would not lose any sleep if it got canned.
Code of Honor (2016)
Oh dear :(
The credits start to roll, it says, "Steven Seagal - Executive Producer" and I am already thinking I should probably turn it off. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway. Then I see that Steven is an actor in the movie too.....sigh....."I'll still give it a go I guess"
I should have gone with my gut feeling, it was awful. I remember the good 'ole days when Steven turned out a few good movies (Like 'Under Siege') but since then it's been one turd after another.
The movie is cheesy, flawed, utterly ridiculous and poorly acted....and that doesn't even cover the plethora of clichés either!
You know you are on a winner when the budget for the squibs was so low that they had to rely on SFX for the bullet hits (fyi, I use the term SFX incredibly loosely). I think I gave myself a migraine just from the eye rolling.
Everyone deserves a bravery award simply for making it to the end. It may not be the worst movie I have ever seen, but it's certainly up there!! How this got a score of 4 is a miracle - I am sure there is a minus symbol missing from the score
Waste an hour and 40 minutes watching paint dry instead.
Into the Woods (2014)
Nup, just nup
I started to watch this with a friend and we lasted 9 minutes before turning it off - and that was only because I said "Give it a chance, the singing might just be the opening music/theme" - it wasn't.
Afterwards I thought that I would give it another go mainly because Johnny Depp was in it....probably not my best idea this week, but at least I gave it a fair crack.
I have read a few of the reviews on here and I can see that there are the 'for' and 'against' crowd. I do understand that this is a movie based on a Broadway musical play and to be honest that is where it should have stayed, on Broadway.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't hate all musicals/singing movies. I didn't mind the Pitch Perfect movies, but the songs in this movie were annoying. I just wanted to damage my eardrums to make it stop.
Regardless, I persisted and was determined to make it to the end of the movie. I found that the only way to do that was to play online quizzes and have the movie as background noise (especially during the singing). It worked a treat, I made it to the end.
Was very disappointed at the small role played by Mr Depp.
One user on the message boards wrote, "In case you missed the first three hours of this disaster.... Its called Into the wood into the wood into the wood into the wood.... If you can get beyond that tiresome opening song you'll probably love it...... ". That is rather accurate for the musical lovers out there.
All in all, if you like musicals, this movie will probably float your boat immensely. If musicals are not your bag, it would be best to avoid it at all costs, your sanity will thank you for it.
Considering the great cast and the sets, this movie probably would have been awesome if Tim Burton had made it, removed the singing, and then given it a dark sinister twist!!!
Hours (2013)
Give it a miss
**SPOILERS AHEAD**
I saw that this movie had Paul Walker in it and I figured it wouldn't be too bad. I was wrong and disappointed.
The most annoying part for me in the countdown on the battery pack, it took away any believability for me. My shed roller door has a 3 minute timer before it automatically shuts. In three minutes I have barely enough time get out of the car, remove my shopping and check the mailbox before it closes. The hero in this movie manages to run to the top of a hospital building (on more than one occasion) and even run outside to hunt for supplies with less time!! In fact he managed to get to the roof, attempt to flag down a chopper and get back to crank the hand generator all within 2 minutes. I mean, really? The only thing this movie needed to make my eyes roll further was a bomb that he manages to disarm as the timer hits 1 second. If only the movie was 3 minutes long, it would have made it bearable.
This movie should be renamed, "Hours of Swiss Cheese" due to the amount of holes in this story of woe.
I gave it an extra star only because of the eye candy (Genesis Rodriguez)
The Visit (2015)
Why did I bother?
I should have turned it off the second I realised that it was a "Found footage" style of movie, but I thought I would give it a chance regardless. Should have gone with my gut in hindsight, but I didn't and that is 90 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Without adding spoilers, there are certain aspects in the plot that make you ask, "why?" and "really?". I have seen another review that said, "What is wrong with people? This film is currently rated 7.0?". Thankfully that score has since dropped to 6.2 - once it drops to 5 or under I think it would be a fair representation.
Will I be in a hurry to watch another M. Night Shyamalan movie? Unlikely. Will I trip over myself to suffer another terrible 'found footage" style of movie? Even more unlikely. In fact, I don't think a good one exists.
Getaway (2013)
Good grief
Yes, there are spoilers ahead....stop reading if you haven't watched the movie yet.
First off, I think the filming location was a poor choice. It was set in Bulgaria but it should have been set more appropriately in Switzerland.....mainly because there were more plot holes than a chuck of Swiss cheese. It's the little things that spoil the movie, for example:
~The entire plan seemed a little bit elaborate and pointless. ~The car was armoured and unbreakable....until the last scene. ~Bulgaria must have an incredible back up generator, because for a city that lost its power grid and lights.....there seemed to be a lot of lights....and erm, power. ~What sort of high executive banker informs his daughter of the bank security arrangements if the power is lost? ~Apparently a race car driver is a crack shot with a pistol, unlike the bad guys with automatic weapons.
The movie isn't THAT bad...you just need to leave your brain at the door prior to hitting the start button. If you want to see a lot of car chases and a bit of excitement then give it a go. Just don't expect "Die Hard" or "Ocean's Eleven"
Oh, and what is it with keeping Jon Voight a secret and hiding his identity? Good grief, we ALL knew it was him, right from the get-go :P
Lo imposible (2012)
Average
I don't want to downplay the actual real people involved, or the gravity of the actual incident.....but this move is a bit "meh" in the end (sorry). It started off well and got me hooked, then took a bit of a nose dive after that. For some reason I thought it was going to be this incredible survival story, but after the 20 minute mark that impression was over.
I read some negative reviews about this movie and 16 minutes in, I thought they were incorrect, sadly they kinda weren't.
The best way to watch this movie is to get to the 20 minute point when they are rescued......then fast forward to the last 10-15 minutes - That way you miss out on 40 minutes of 'unlucky' missed opportunities, 'ships passing through the night' clichés....then get to the final happy ending.
And it started sooooo good. Again, sorry :(
Ardennes Fury (2014)
Just awful
I don't really see a point in making a full review of this movie as others have beaten me to it. The fact that it has a rating of 2 would imply that some children have watched it and that they also had access to the internet to click the IMDb scoring system. I gave it a "1" because I cannot choose zero!!
I managed to last five minutes before I turned it off.
Since watching this movie I have applied for the Medal of Honour because I feel I deserve it for actually lasting 5 minutes!! The worst part is that somehow I have to come up with at least 10 lines to write about this movie regardless of the fact that the title summary says it all!! Yes, it is that bad!
Inland Empire (2006)
Horrendous
What a truly terrible movie. I don't normally write reviews, but it was so bad I just couldn't help myself to post one. I managed to last 38 minutes before turning it off, and that is saying something because I normally try to hold out and attempt to finish movies, even the crap ones. The acting from some of the actors was nothing short of woeful, the script (was there a script?) a shambles and it seemed to be leading nowhere. I gave it one star for the only reason that you can't go into negative figures on IMDb, otherwise I would have given it -10. I will post one positive comment however, at least Laura Dern is looking good for her age. I would sooner sit through "Feast II - Sloppy Seconds" for a second time that have to attempt to watch this movie again!
Celebrity Juice (2008)
Good grief
The concept was good and the guests were very funny (This episode had Al Murray, Holly Valance and a few others I have never heard of before), but the "host" was a tool. It started off like an English version of the Aussie TV show 'Good News Week' and I thought it might have had a bit of potential, but after watching one episode I just wanted to gouge my eyes out and wear headphones playing white noise at high volume! He was not funny and the show seemed to revolve around his antics, yelling and stupid voices that just had me staring in disbelief. I do understand that the host is obviously playing some sort of character but it did not make it any funnier, perhaps if he was just being normal it would have had more appeal to me.
With a different host this show would be a lot better. It is clearly popular in the UK as it has survived for 8 seasons now, but I cannot get past the host, he just grates on me too much. I can see why channel seven (Aussie local station) ran it so late at night.
I have no intentions of watching another episode, I would rather be water boarded.
Sorry to the fans of this show, to which there seem to be many, but to me the host ruined too much!
Disaster Movie (2008)
Poor
horrendous!!! I didn't laugh once during the entire movie. Save yourself 80 minutes! Give it a miss. Sadly I have to make up 10 lines about this movie. The movie does not deserve 10 lines but here we go anyway. I watched the superhero movie and that was funny, this was just not even worth a chuckle. I found this movie disjointed and it just basically struggled. I would be interested to know if anyone found it remotely funny. I gave it a 1, but it should be minus 10. I first saw the unbelievably hot Vanessa Minnillo in the TV show "True Beauty" and thought that she was pretty good in that. It is hard to believe that she went from the host of a TV reality show giving a good performance and then blew her credibility out the window by actually agreeing to participate in this garbage. I knew that this movie was going to blow by the four minute mark but I persisted with it hoping that it would get better or I would get a chuckle every now and then - but no - FAIL!!! The most ironic part of my day was that i watched a movie called Harpies - and that was worse! I think I have pi**ed Karma off, and I don't know what I have done wrong!! ha ha ha