umfug Reviews

Future Force (1989)

just bad, not good

[2/10 · 19 March 2020]

This is a poorly conceived trainwreck. How this movie is rated R is a big question because there is nothing that would be restricted to anyone over 6 years old. Low budget? Yes, very low. So bad, it's good? No, not at all. Everything about this movie is terrible. If you can't go another day without seeing another Carradine movie, then go ahead. You can't make a low budget "future" movie. Well, not this low. Ticker signs and mini TVs with terrible graphics doesn't cut it. Sometimes he has that mechanical arm and other times not. Long stretches of nothing before any action. We do have afternoon soap operas for this. Everyone's energy level is very low. A 110 year old with diabetes in an assisted living home could destroy everyone in this movie. It's just boring and terrible.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Just trash

[1/10 · 8 April 2019]

Even if you want to complete your TCM collection, there is no reason to add this. It's pure trash. It's poorly conceived, executed, written, casted, acted, directed, edited, and produced. All the characters should have been killed in the first three minutes, even Leatherface. Every character is a halfwit and annoying as hell, even Leatherface. Only the animal sounds in the woods are well executed. So they took elements from the first three TCM movies and threw them into a terrible satire with some illuminati nonsense. Not interesting, funny, gory, shocking, terrifying, or disturbing. Furthermore, no, Renee and Matthew don't redeem this pile of excrement. They are over-the-top annoying. There is only one good scene where they engage in a remote-control battle, and that's about 8 seconds. Don't waste your time. It's trash!

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Good continuation of Prometheus

[9/10 · 22 May 2017]

Covenant provides a good continuation of Prometheus. You can see more connections being made from Prometheus to the first Alien. A lot of reviewers are nitpicking details that they don't get or they forget that it's a Hollywood movie. I recommend reviewing Prometheus again or watching a short video summary of it before seeing this. Remember that this planet was the planet David and Shaw were headed for. Yes, the crew make many bad decisions, but you can see from the very beginning that they really had no experience nor qualifications - maybe that's why they were chosen. But I actually enjoyed the characters' personalities - they actually have some. There's nothing worse than character-less characters. It's interesting to see how David has continued his downward spiral - remember the first Alien, too? The scenery and effects are breathtaking. Go in with an open- mind, don't be too uptight, and enjoy. R. Scott says he has more ideas leading up to the first Alien movie.

Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

not better than 2 - this is slow and plodding

[1/10 · 23 July 2010]

At least 2 kept moving from the start. I don't know what other reviewers saw, but this movie takes forever to get moving and even then it is so mild and boring that the first time I tried to watch it, I turned it off because I was falling asleep. I forced myself the second time and it really is slow. The main characters had me pulling my hair out - you just want them to die as quickly as possible because they were so annoying: We don't care about your relationship problems, we are supposed to be watching a slasher flick. Even the uncut version has very tame gore. Some of the characters seem to be immune to chainsaws - very strange. The blood looks like clear strawberry syrup. I guess if you can't sleep, you can watch this instead of taking pills.

Hellraiser: Inferno (2000 Video)

This is really horrible

[1/10 · 15 May 2009]

This movie is so bad, it's not worth explaining. There is nothing to explain anyway since it is made up of flashbacks and dreams, which is the tell tale sign of producers and writers with no idea of where to go. The acting is just as bad. The dialog is jaw-dropping bad - stick with what people expect in a Hellraiser movie. The editing is matches the movie - all over the place. The special effects are worthless. Even the lighting and the music doesn't fit. The entire mess leaves you scratching your head if you can even make through the first 30 minutes. The same is true for the next sequel (V) - it is just as bad. Stick with the first Hellraiser.