harryjohnson2008 Reviews

Antarctica (2008)

Needs Serious Editing and Better Focus

[1/10 · 20 June 2014]

Oy Vay, where to begin with this one...... first of all, the movie starts out somewhat interesting. It focuses on a guy who has a seemingly endless stream of one night stands, and it seems like the movie is going to be about him. Then there is a shift to "three years later" and the entire focus of the movie shifts to another character (Omer). I had to stop the movie and back up to see if I missed something. I didn't. This was just very poor focus by the director. The rest of the movie focuses on a group of characters and Omer seems to be the main focus, but the lines are actually pretty blurred.

As others pointed out in their reviews, there were scenes that were WAY too long and needed to be cut (I got very bored) and other scenes that were way too short and should have been expanded on and focused on more. And the whole thing with the alien abduction focus.....WTF? I don't see how that had anything to do with the story.

The funniest part of all of this is the movie's tag line that says "One of the steamiest movies of the year". The first 20 minutes was fairly steamy, before the focus shifted to "three years later". After that, it was damp at best (but not steamy). I can't recommend this one, unless you are SO bored that you have to watch something. And then when you end up totally disappointed, just remember, I warned you.

Space Dandy (2014)

Terrible

[1/10 · 1 June 2014]

This has got to be one of the worst animated series I've ever seen. The artwork is good, but that's about all. The story lines seem to have been written by a horny 14 year old boy who, one can only imagine, draws the large-breasted female characters and then wanks off to them. The plots and dialogue are similar to what one hears if you listen to young children playing with action figures and making up stuff as they go along. It's beyond ridiculous. Worst of all, the show is very denigrating to women. It's really sad that the show's creators portray women as nothing more than space whores. Again, more evidence that this is the work of a developmentally arrested mind. It's puerile, infantile and vapid. Don't waste your time.

Hot Guys with Guns (2013)

Totally Fun!

[10/10 · 9 May 2014]

This was a fun movie. I'm not going to pretend I'm some movie reviewer and comment on the acting or the cinematography - that's so pompous. I watch a lot of gay movies and I know what I like, and I definitely liked this one! It made me laugh, it was sexy at times, and most of all it kept me interested. The two lead actors had good chemistry together and it was fun to root for them to get back together. For some reason, there are so many dark and depressing gay films, so it was refreshing to watch this rom-com- "thriller". Check it out! Unless you've got a major stick up your backside (like some reviewers on here) you'll love it!

Animals (I) (2012)

Depressing and Weird

[1/10 · 14 December 2013]

***This Review Contains Spoilers***

So what's the deal with these Spanish filmmakers who only seem capable of producing these utterly depressing films? Is life in Spain so miserable, sad and depressing (especially for gay people) that every "gay film" has to end in misery and death??!!

Beyond the bleak story and completely depressing ending, I also found it incredibly irresponsible and downright disgusting of Marçal Forés to seemingly glamorize "cutting" in this film. Cutting, or self-mutilation is a serious mental health issue and should not be made in any way to seem sexy or sexual.

This is a bizarre film that I can't believe I wasted 90 minutes of my life on. Not only should you not waste your time or money on this film, you should send a message to Mr. Forés to go get himself some anti-depressants, lighten up, and stop making crap films. We watch movies to be entertained and to escape for a short period of time. If I want to see gloomy, dismal, joylessness Mr. Forés I'll turn on the reality of the evening news.

The Awesomes (2013–2015)

Not Awesome

[1/10 · 4 August 2013]

Being a big fan of SNL, I really wanted to love The Awesomes. But unfortunately, I couldn't even like it. With all due respect to Seth Meyers, et al, this show is just not funny. And sadly, it's not even interesting. There's nothing new or fresh about the concept of an "inferior" superhero taking over a group of other inferior super heroes. It's been done. And it's been done much better. The show seems like it's trying really hard to be a little edgy, but it doesn't even come close. If you're going to do an adult animated show, then you have to go all out, like the Simpsons, American Dad, Family Guy, etc, etc.. There has to be some spice and some bite to it. Unfortunately, this show not only lacks any kind of heat whatsoever, it falls flat and bland like boiled, limp cabbage. Which, in the end, only leaves you with gas.

Package Deal (2013–2014)

Beyond Awful

[1/10 · 23 June 2013]

This is one of those sitcoms where I wish it was possible to give less than a 1 star rating. Where to even begin? First off, it wasn't funny. The writing was terrible. Second, the acting was pretty bad. This is supposed to be an "ensemble cast" according to The Hollywood Reporter? People please! my child's 5th grade production of Beauty and the Beast had a better ensemble cast. Probably the most annoying thing about this show though was the (audience) laughter. Not sure if it was live or if it was a laugh track, but it sounded so forced. They laughed after every line that was said and every time one of the actors moved around or did something that was supposed to be funny. You can safely skip this one, you won't miss a thing. Just be sure to flush twice for this one. P U.

Role/Play (2010)

Incredibly Boring

[4/10 · 31 December 2012]

As a self-proclaimed connoisseur of gay-themed films, I have to express my disappointment in this movie. First, the positive... the acting was actually pretty good. Steve Callahan and Matthew Montgomery did a good job. Their skills are 50% of the reason why this review got 4 stars instead of 2. The other 50% (and let's be honest here) is the fact that both actors are VERY easy on the eyes - both their face shots and their derrières...which we see quit of bit of. Am I saying a full frontal of either of them would have been nice too? Well, it wouldn't have hurt, and maybe got the film one more star.

And now for the negative: this film was incredibly boring. The writing was terrible (sorry Mr. Williams). I can't tell you how many times I caught myself drifting off, staring out the window, looking at the clock, mentally doing a grocery list, etc.. Finally, about three quarters of the way through, I just couldn't take it anymore and started skipping ahead to the end. I was bummed, because I was really rooting for the film to be better. There are so few gay/romantic/dramas that are, for the most part positive (and don't end in death, heartbreak or tragedy), that I really wanted this film to succeed. Instead, it was predictable, flat, and boring. Unfortunately, my recommendation on this one would be don't waste your time or money.

Price Check (2012)

Almost completely terrible

[3/10 · 5 December 2012]

Let me begin by saying I am a HUGE Parker Posey fan. I absolutely love her in just about everything she's done. And it really is thanks to her excellent performance in this movie that I gave it as many stars as I did. Unfortunately, despite Parker's best amazing efforts, the movie is very boring. It's like it wants to take off and go somewhere....and Parker is workin it like nobody's business....but it just continually flatlines. Eric Mabius tries his best too (such a cutie) and a pretty good actor. But as the old saying goes, you just can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, and this film is a squealing sow. If you want to enjoy Parker in her full glory, check out some of her other fun flicks, like Best in Show, House of Yes, or Adam and Steve. But do yourself a favor and leave this particular movie on the shelf.

Bel Ami (2012)

Not very good

[5/10 · 12 May 2012]

I am a huge fan of period movies. I've probably seen the vast majority of them. I have to say I was looking forward to seeing Bel Ami. Not because of Robert Pattinson (not really one of his fans, but glad to see he's trying to break out of the vampire role). But rather, I love Uma, Christina and Kristin. And thankfully they were in this movie, because if they weren't it would have been a total dud. Honestly, Pattinson was OK, but the women really carried the film. As for the story line, that's one of the reasons I gave it a 5 out of 10. There were several times during the movie where I was like "huh? what just happened??" and had to back up the movie and watch a part over again. Maybe the book was better written, I don't know, I didn't read it. But with these kinds of adaptations, you shouldn't have to read the book in order to know what just happened in the movie. I'll end this here, since I really don't want to give any more minutes of my life to this movie. And neither should you.

Spartacus (2010–2013)

Disappointing

[25 January 2010]

Having been a huge fan of HBO's "Rome", I was very excited for Spartacus. How utterly disappointing this show is turning out to be. It's like a hyper-violent romance novel with a lot of gratuitous blood and gore, cheezy lines and borderline soft-core porn that really seems to cheapen it. I keep waiting for a very muscular Fabio to come out in a loin cloth and say "I can't believe it's not Rome". A lot of the acting is very stiff, and the script is SO predictable! Good guy gets captured and beat up by bad guy. Good guy regains his strength, fights, and wins over bad guy. Yawn. If however, you are a 14 year old boy who really loved watching 300, and is titillated by a lot of bare flesh, blood, gore, foul language, and a ton of homoeroticism, then this show is for you!! The producers would have made a lot more money and got WAY better reviews if they had just made a gay porno about gladiators. Now that would be hot. At least that would have been honest about what the show is about without all the coy fellatio references and pretense.

Glee (2009–2015)

Fun! Can't wait for more!

[8/10 · 17 July 2009]

I'm not a professional reviewer, nor will I pretend to be like some people who review here. Just a regular guy who really enjoyed watching the pilot for Glee. Yes, there are a few stereotyped characters. When will Hollywood "update" their stereotypes? I'm pretty sure that with shows like American Idol, it's considered "cool" if you can sing like these kids can. So I'm hoping the writers of this show will work out some of these stereotypes and the characters will develop. Overall it was nice entertainment with some GREAT songs. Those kids can sing!! I actually re-played a couple of the songs they sang, jut because they did such a great job. And with Jane Lynch in the cast, you know the show is going to be good! Can't wait for the rest of the season to start this fall.

Brüno (2009)

Awful! Do NOT waste your time

[1/10 · 17 July 2009]

Where do I even start with this terrible movie? We've all seen the previews with some funny one-liners, and yes, those one liners were amusing. But it's like they used them all up, and everything you see in the previews, that's IT. There are no other funny lines in the film other than what you see in the previews. I made it through exactly 35 minutes of this movie before I had to leave. It was just plain offensive on so many levels (and as a "liberal" it takes a lot to offend me). I literally have dozens of gay friends and I've never met anyone like the Bruno character. And the way the film portrays other races and groups......again, offensive. All the stereotypes portrayed in the movie (gay, black, middle Eastern, etc.) have all been done ad nauseum, and were portrayed disrespectfully. Is this all that Cohen can do? What a piece of crap. Is he trying to shock us? If he is, he didn't succeed with the movie's content. What shocks me is that I was suckered into paying 8 bucks for the ticket. Do not waste your time or money.