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Reviews
The Mentalist (2008)
Doesn't take a mentalist to see why this show is good.
This show has plenty of drama but is ultimately focused on a very eccentric man chasing violent criminals, a concept that throws a lot of emotion into the mix. Settings range from stomach turning crime scenes to beautiful vistas and most long time characters go through a wide variety of mental states as they face horrors and joys, it almost never gets very repetitive. While The Mentalist is absolutely not a comedy there are situations and characters that can make almost anyone laugh on a regular basis.
There is really nothing overwhelmingly special about this show: the main character Patrick Jane is merely a very keen observer, however unlike most shows you are given very limited hand-holding when it comes to his observations and conclusions. Of course he shares observations to some extent but like a true master mentalist he keeps an aura of mystery, one that is actually critical to the real life mentalists trade since it forces reactions that are easy to read and allows otherwise impossible psychological manipulation.
The show has a fairly consistent high quality in most areas, I did find season 3 and 4 somewhat cheaper but the show bounced back and I was again impressed by season 5 and 6. Simon Baker never fails in his role as Patrick Jane but at times the script can be a bit difficult to accept, most notably it can be hard to empathize with him in tough situations when he moments ago reminded you that he is kind of a selfish coward. Most other characters are played by noticeably slightly less skilled people but so far I've never seen any actor give an actually bad performance, unlike almost all other shows I've seen.
For people with above average skill in observation and with a good bit of knowledge in psychology this show is mostly very enjoyable, of course there are minor slips here and there but the vast majority of the body language seen is very convincing, that's of critical importance for a show like this.
Overall I give The Mentalist a solid 8 of 10, an average of what I've seen from the very first episode and to the end of season 7 and future seasons will hopefully not decline in quality.
Quantum Apocalypse (2010)
"Awful beyond comprehension" does not even begin to explain...
There is really no other way for me to express what this movie is than this: A disaster movie where the only real disaster is the movie itself.
When reading the other reviews of this movie I thought to myself "Well, when a movie is bad enough I can usually laugh at it for being so bad and have a good enough time watching it anyway" and so I decided to see this with my own eyes. I implore you, dear reader, NOT to repeat my mistake! There is not enough alcohol, nitrous gas or low standards on the surface of the entire planet for anyone to find any enjoyable aspect in this movie at all.
Alphabetical order of flawed elements. Just because I want everyone to understand how bad this is.
Actors - The best ones are simply bad, the rest are horrible. Some of them at least make a bit of an effort.
Cameras and angles - Static shooting almost all the way, but it's actually not that bad compared to when the cameras move. In one scene where a character is driving, you'd think they bolted a $50 VHS camera to the hood and had him actually drive around with that.
Computer effects - You can easily spot them, if the graphic Ultra Low quality doesn't tip you off, the absence of the laws of physics will. Many movies from the 90's had Better computer generated effects. Even some of the Bad movies.
Other effects - I could not find a single one that was just slightly low-budget or just had a mild flaw. Every last one was flat out bad.
Script - Someone should be unemployed by now...
The rest - You probably already get the picture.
Summary: Gather your neighbors and have the most stupid one write the script, the most incompetent one manage effects, the ones with the worst poker faces be the actors and finally let someone with impaired motor skills handle the camera and you will make a masterpiece compared to this. Unfortunately I'm not joking.
Club Dread (2004)
Like a smelly nugget of gold...
Club Dread is a very interesting piece of work, not really too original, exciting, well done, action filled or intelligent... and honestly not even good. Basically it pivots around a bunch of people stuck on an island with a killer, giving it quite the "oh please not another movie like that" feeling. However, they are not just a handful of people on a deserted island, they are the staff of "Pleasure Island" and need to keep their cool while taking care of a load of tourists. The plot is by no means complicated but it stands out just enough and can be quite unpredictable sometimes. Just beware of a very common mistake! Don't give up after the first few minutes, it gets better and better all the way to the end!
This movie needs you to fulfill three different criteria before you can truly enjoy its interesting properties to the fullest. I have listed them below, the first being the most important and so on. Number 1; you need to be able to laugh freely and comfortably at silly, odd and stupid things. Number 2; you need to make sure you are not disturbed by "almost well done gore" or attractive women not wearing a whole lot of clothes. Number 3; you need to be observant enough to notice details, and too tired (or possibly drunk) to be upset when these details don't match, instead you need the ability to laugh at it.
With these things in mind, my punchline is; This movie is a total piece of crap! Characters, script, effects, dialog, actors and most other stuff too can't be called anything other than crap! However, follow the simple guidelines and force a few friends to watch it with you and you will laugh so hard you will never forget this movie. Hard to tell if the movie was intended to be hilarious or serious, but regardless the intentions behind it... this is a comedy overdose! Total piece of crap but in a Very entertaining way, I give it a 7 out of 10 because months later I still start laughing like a maniac when I think about some of the scenes in the movie.