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andyofne
Reviews
Married... with Children Reunion (2003)
One of the funniest shows from the 80s-90s.
I didn't watch this in 2004 when people were still angry about the show not being on the air any longer.
It's now 2015 and Ed O'Neill, Christina Applegate and Katey Sagal have all gone on to do great shows and movies. People should be over the whole "I can't believe they canceled Married with Children!!!" thing.
The show was on the air for 11 years. Few shows last that long and when they do they tend to start losing their fan base and become hard to watch.
I was overseas in the Navy when the show came out so I was always behind the curve when it came to watching the show. When it was available to us, it was a year or two old and we wouldn't necessarily have the opportunity to see the whole season.
And while this was by no means an in depth behind the scenes show it was still fun to watch and hear the former cast members relive their experiences from the show.
I still love watch MWC re-runs on TV when I'm channel surfing and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the show (which can be found on a popular free streaming site) and would recommend it to any fans who haven't seen it.
Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987)
Poor writing, lame plot lines, and lackluster acting
I was a big fan as a kid growing up the 70s so I know I would have watched this when it aired on TV. But I missed out on this... very bad production... I was living overseas in the Navy watching old episodes of Air Wolf and Knight Rider, I suppose. I'm kinda glad I missed out on this.
Something silly I picked up on... the villains drive one of those monstrous station wagons (that were finally fading in popularity not long after 1987) and after Steve Austin rolls the first one (and Jamie kicked out the passenger door) the bad guys go out and get the exact model/color car as a replacement. Either that or they had it repaired mighty fast.
Sometimes it's best to put a show to bed and leave it alone. This was one of those times.
I do agree with the person who wrote about the music. What were they thinking?
Oh, and, Brian Cranston was in this show. I didn't even recognize him.
The Da Vinci Treasure (2006)
Da Vinci Treasure was so bad it should be buried.
I knew from the moment I saw the word Asylum that the Da Vinci Treasure was going to be a crap fest and so on that account I was not disappointed.
It would be unethical of me to say that I actually watched the entire film; so, having said that, please take my criticism with a grain of rock salt.
This movie was so bad it put me to sleep twice. I woke up the first time in Chapter 3 on the DVD and reversed back to Chapter 1 where I nodded off. The second time I awakened as the credits were rolling and I did not bother going back to watch the closing chapter.
I think the thing that annoyed me the most about this film was the special effect sound they would play when they wanted to show you something seemingly significant. The only benefit this had was that it would force me to open my eyes and focus on the scene for another 8 to 12 seconds.
Far from being a rip off of the this year's similarly titled big screen release, The Da Vinci Code (based on Dan Brown's novel), the Da Vinci Treasure seemed to flow more like 2004's National Treasure.
Despite the similarities to National Treasure this movie was filled with poorly delivered lines, cheesy 'special effects' and crappy sets. The whole thing had a very high school film class look and feel to it.
I feel dumber for having actually paid to watch this film.
King of the Lost World (2004)
The King was missing.
Having just watched the new large screen Peter Jackson remake of King Kong at the theater this past Friday, I was not surprised to find a giant gorilla movie on the shelf at Blockbuster on Saturday. It looked sort of cheesy based on the cover art, which featured a giant gorilla and the word KING in large letters. I stupidly assumed this movie would be centered on a giant gorilla who was the king of his so-called Lost World.
I was quite surprised that this movie was released in 2005; I would have assumed that it had been produced in the early 1990s and shown on the SCI-FI channel after midnight for the last 15 years. "King of the Lost World" is distributed by a company called "The Asylum".
A plane crashes in a remote jungle, presumably in South America, although I'm not sure it was stated as such. There are several survivors despite a large explosion complete with a near mushroom cloud sized fireball. Sadly, the front end of the plane is missing.
Almost immediately we see a woman still strapped in her seat on a piece of wreckage who has just awakened following the crash. Suddenly a giant ape rips her into the air and carries her off. This is sort of where I see the whole "King Kong" aspect of the movie but the part about the girl falling in love with the savage beast never materialized. In fact, I lost track of this woman all together.
Over time, many planes have crashed in the area and the survivors have become some kind of primitive tribe who feed some of the crash victims to flying dragon like monsters as a ritual sacrifice, trying to placate the flying beats? The tribe may be fearful of the flying dragons but they have a much greater fear of the giant gorilla who "brings death" to them. Of course, they can't speak his name. How do they know his name? Who named him? I didn't see any native folks running around in this Amazon jungle, only freaky crash survivors who sit around painting themselves up in war paint and smoking cigars.
After hiking all day these poor LOST survivors (their numbers thinned somewhat) sit down to rest in a cave or something. A girl asks a guy "Want a peanut?" He replies "Peanuts? No. No peanuts. If I never see another bag of god damned gyp joint airline peanuts in my life. My miserable f-king life I'll be just fine. Keep your f-king peanuts." Did I mention the part about how this woman gets a small scratch on her leg at the beginning of the movie? This guy who is horn-dogging on the arguably good looking photographer notices it (he later gets killed by a giant scorpion in a cave when the scorpion puts it's stinger through his chest cavity). The woman blows it off as 'just a scratch'. The next morning it is a wide open, six inch long gash on the front of her lower leg. One of the other women in the group takes a look at it and says "She's infected!" which came out sounding like she had been bitten by a zombie from Dawn of the Dead and would soon be eating the meager brains out of the remaining survivors.
For a stranded person with zero medical resources the easiest fix for a massively infected leg wound is simple -- you simply pack fly larva into the wound in what we call a "Maggot Bandage." The maggots will eat the dead flesh and apparently cure infections. So this enterprising fellow lifts a couple nearby rocks and finds a bunch of squirmy bugs (definitely not maggots) which is proceeds to drop into the wound, complete with a handful of dirt. This is all wrapped tight with a strip of cloth from one of the other survivor's skirts.
For the next half a day in the movie the girl is deathly ill. They make a great show about how they are carrying her all around the jungle. Then, suddenly, they stop because someone spots a plane crashed in the jungle (there are a surprisingly large number of nearly intact planes laying around) and they set the woman down on a rock where she sits for a moment. The next thing you know she's up and running as if nothing ever happened and no further discussion or observation of her wound is necessary.
The very cute, but amazingly stupid, woman in the torn stewardess uniform is the first one to break through the trees and spot the nearby plane. She shouts for everyone to come because she found their plane! At any rate, the plane this woman spotted looked like a fully intact fighter jet not just a cockpit section of a large airliner. The stewardess was very disappointed when it was pointed out that it wasn't their plane, after all. How the hell could she be that stupid? She can't tell the difference between a 727 and a fighter jet? Let's forget that they left their half of a broken plane two days back on the other side of a mountain and that they were searching for the broken off cockpit section OF A HUGE AIRLINER.
In another scene a woman gets her shirt ripped open and another woman is caressing her breasts and licking her face. While this scene was interesting it didn't contribute to the story line. I suppose it was inserted at a strategic point in the film to grab the viewer's attention just when they were planning to hit the eject button.
This movie was full of exceptionally bad script writing, wooden acting, and cheesy not-so-special effects. There really isn't anything I can tell you about this movie that would make you want to see it. In fact, I would urge you NOT to rent this film.