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Silent Hill (2006)
It can't be better
There are quite long and detailed comment posts on IMDb so I'll make it short. One word - Masterpiece!
Yes! There are some story laps, stupid filler phrases, awkward acting of some characters but that's just minor details. From start to finish a one big crazy visual roller-coaster with game's authentic chilling soundtrack this movie draws you deeper into its eerie rusted world of hatred and fire.
It's not just the best game adaptation and not just the most precise on-screen adaptation - Silent Hill adds that extra chilling effect that the game itself misses quite a lot. I played three episodes of the game and saw them as a boring, tedious location scouting with monster shooting and stupid endings. The movie takes the same scouting approach but mixes the best parts of the game with an excellent story. The story flows on two levels - Silent Hill (Rose) and Real World (Christopher) - an important division which helps a viewer to understand what exactly is Silent Hill. The second storyline looks kinda goofy since it is not originally supported by the game but gives many answers to what is actually happening inside Silent Hill. It is well-done but not as strong and convincing as Rose's part.
But even if one is critical towards the story one can't deny Silent Hill's visual and audio superiority. Visuals are a bit dark at times but that's a concept of the game to which the movie sticks obediently. What I loved and the reason I played Silent Hill was the musical score - its strong presence keeps the movie together and serves as a massive foundation to an entire concept.
To sum it up, Silent Hill is a sharp twisted barbed wire which slowly embraces your mind paralyzing it with shock and confusion and like some exotic drug leaves you with an ultimate satisfaction.
House IV (1992)
Ding, dong, you're dead... from bore and depression
This is what I call a living nightmare. If you're reading this, then do as I say...
First, skip the dialogue part. There is nothing useful in them and they are so bad they make you wanna cry.
Second, eat and drink everything you have within the first 40 minutes of the movie. Prepare a paper bag or sit closer to the bath room if you need to throw up either from hopeless storyline or yucky stuff they are showing in this movie.
Third, you may try to get scared or to have a laugh and a half. You tell me if you have.
Fourth, turn off everything that runs on electricity, don't smoke and put your TV on timer, because, most probably, you will fall asleep.
That's it. Wish you nice watching.
The Horror Show (1989)
Ding, dong, you're dead... from swearing and cursing.
And once again I'll promote the first (and the very best) House: Ding, Ding. You're Dead. Go, see my review on it.
So, The Horror Show, as many call it, is different from other three House creations. Some even claim, that initially it wasn't created as a part of the whole series. And I might as well agree with them.
First of all, I need to warn you. The Horror Show characters use an unrealistic amount of swearwords. They swear and curse on every single occasion. So the movie resembles a mess of dirty dialogue, soft but scary horror and some grotesque humour - quite well put together.
The main characters - a good guy - cop Luke - and a bad guy - serial killer Jenke. This Jenke gets electrocuted and his bloodthirsty spirit travels to an oven in the basement of Luke's house. And here we go.
The movie's intense. It doesn't let you go till the very end. It would have been a classic if not for unnecessary swearing, horrible acting and lack of chop-chop violence.
Overall, this is not a bad movie. It doesn't have the charm of the first episode, but it is not as hopeless as the other two episodes. So, if you need a midnight movie, then this mild snack might be for you.
House II: The Second Story (1987)
Ding, dong, you're dead... from clichés and stupid jokes
You haven't yet watched the first "House"? Then forget about this crap and get yourself the first episode!
So for those, who watched the first part, let's say, this is a different (extremely lousy) approach to the same thing. Ethan Wiley, the one who wrote the script for the first movie, attempts to create the same mix of comedy and cheap rubber horror. As a result, we receive:
- clichés, clichés, clichés. They are hiding everywhere, even in small details. And you'd never shake off the feeling, that you've already seen all of this.
- undeveloped stories. They are created in the beginning (like in those American sitcoms) and then left to die in oblivion.
- absence of horror. If you are in a really good mood, you can have a laugh or two, but this would never scare you.
- Hill-Billy ending.
The movie is about... something. People are moving into a house, then their friends moving into a house and then we add a cowboy, stone-age creatures, Halloween party, dumb guys, a superhero and receive House: The Second Story.
That's it. If you want to waste your time, then go for it, and don't forget to take an extra movie, as an emergency.
House (1985)
Ding, dong, you're dead... from laughter
This is the first of four episodes in a series. It features sparky humor, nice acting of William Katt and George Wendt, rubber dolls, great screenplay and nice mix of comedy talk and horror creep.
It is hard to believe that someone would still like home-made low-budget horrors in our era of computer-mastered blockbusters, but sometimes that's just the way it is. Many latest high-tech movies cannot provide the same amount of thrill and fun as the very first "House" movie.
So the movie is about a depressed writer, who lost his aunt, his wife, his son and about to lose his job. So that loser (William Katt is very handsome in this movie) comes to a house of his deceased aunt and entertains us - impatient public - en group with his gorgeously funny neighbor and creepy funny rubber house-monsters.
Generally, I liked this movie. I found it genuinely brisk and quick from making jokes to making scares and drama. This is not a perfect horror comedy, but very close to it.
I would not suggest renting this movie, but if you can catch it on TV - don't miss it. Don't forget to make lots of popcorn and invite friends to have a good laugh.
The Grudge (2004)
Scary and disturbing... a bit
This movie left me in a mess. On one hand, I was relieved it is finally over. On the other hand, I found myself enjoying it - more than that this low-budget-no-special-effect-what-so-ever pop-up scared the hell out of me. And I watched it during the day in my living room hearing all them strange noises coming from everywhere around the house.
But, seriously, we have a traditional movie, where a mean spirit takes lives of humans and turns them into tortured souls. And we get a rather original way to see this guy in action through his minions hunting down and kidnapping their unfortunate victims.
This movie has as little talk as a Landscape channel, lots of eerie music, scared people walking around and creepy shadowy spirits lurking nearby. Certainly not a 90 min run.
The Grudge is a mix of Ringu (original) and They (about closet people), but no blood, no violence - just plain fear of something supernatural and menacing.
In short, I'd suggest watching this movie at home around midnight with all lights off. That's what I am gonna do after watching Darkness. But for some really powerful Asian horror I'd pick - Battle Royale, Ringu, Parasite Eve and my most favourite Old Boy.
Oh, the rating - just go and watch it.
Madhouse (2004)
Kinda lame
A bit boring stuff. Compared to this House on Haunted Hill is a masterpiece. A short summary: 1. Creepy intro - 5 min. 2. Blah-blah-blah - 30 min. 3. One kill - 5 min. 3. Again blah-blah-blah - 30 min. 4. Watch the ending - 20 min. But seriously - some jerky guy comes to a madhouse. There's lots of talk, sightseeing around hospital, a couple of murders in between, some suspense and kinda cool ending. There's nothing more I want to say about the movie, because there is nothing more to say about it. I would not suggest watching this stuff at the movies - better give a shot for stupid Alien vs Predator or funny Shaun of the Dead. But if you miss the real stuff then - Grudge, Haute Tension and Old Boy are a hot pick.
Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003)
A pearl of a rare beauty
Girl with a Pearl Earring is a marvelous piece of movie art. It instantly entrances you and never lets its grasp loose until the very end. A movie portrays a subtle and dramatic transformation of a common servant into a talented artist's living inspiration. Beautiful music, splendid cinematography and charming modesty are the splendor of the movie. Although not a perfection this feat is an inspiration itself.
Feardotcom (2002)
Nice but slowish ride over psychic infusions of a sick brain
A supposedly nice movie to watch if you like tags tickling your guts. Nothing tremendously pervertial, but makes a little bit uncertain about being brain-washed as well. No women been cut actually! :) Malone's movie concentrates mostly on contrasts of psychedelic visions victims experience, caused by their "infected" minds, not the actual detective line outlay. That makes a movie a bit slowish for those who expect much of intrigue and a step-to-step dog-hunt for a bad guy. That's a problem which burdens the high minds of professional movie reviewing - the division of a movie into 2 parts - COP part and VISION part.
But if the movie keeps up the pace it loses its originality every second it turns into an action-thriller. In fact, what begins as a cruel game with YOUR brain, ends up as a stupid version of a cop-thriller, but it IS worth watching. P.S. - It seems American nation is much succumbed for pathetic HEROIC makings and sissy comedies, and a light thriller with women screaming make them sick.