cheeftanz Reviews

Canal Street (2018)

Worst movie of the year...

[2/10 · 15 March 2023]

It's interesting, but whenever people think that it's clever to make a movie based on race... it's usually not. It's almost always tired, worn out, hateful, misanthropic, insipid, and pointless. Like this piece. Years ago there were a lot of movies made which illustrated and celebrated differences in race. Watch one of those. Nothing made these days has any value it's just a money grab it doesn't even service societal purpose. Except to divide and demonstrate the infantile blather of also-rans who have no talent whatsoever. Take a deep breath, don't bother with this, don't hurt yourself running away and read the reviews on Internet movie database before you watch anything.

The Frisco Kid (1979)

Massive disappointment.

[3/10 · 26 January 2023]

No idea who are the 10 star reviewers are. This was simply a movie that was unfunny, not very creative, not inspirational, not entertaining. This is quite an accomplishment given that the actors are my favorites. What's this movie about? It doesn't make any sense, not ever. An idiot rabbi meanders through the west with no plan. He has an idiot robber friend. They have ridiculous experiences that would never actually happen. They have a friendship that would never actually happen. It would've been better if they had a third person in the party that was a space alien. Then it would've made more sense.

Jung_E (2023)

No, just no...

[3/10 · 21 January 2023]

Ok, whatever you are looking for this film does not deliver. Drama? NO...thrills? NO...suspense? NO... so what is going on here? Good question. Futuristic research lab gets data from a female mercenary's mind. Then it begins... a sad plodding of... of... of...nothingness achieving nothing. No idea where anything connects to anything else. No plot arcs beyond brain in army cyborg. Zero character development, but still annoying characters. No progression of each scene beyond more grumbling and scenes of apocalypse from the train trip. So, go ahead and enjoy a quart of Korean whiskey put on your slippers and try not to shoot yourself in the head. Ugh...

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018)

Chinese in a Japanese film?

[2/10 · 17 March 2021]

Hey, I realize that a lot of appeasement gets done to make a film. To make the heroes Chinese is unforgivable, this is not about China. Right now China has subjugated everyone on earth, and now Hollywood is yielding to the propaganda? Aside from being a horrific sequel, the fact that "films" have to kowtow to the Chinese communist party makes this an acceptable piece and a fail.

Space Sweepers (2021)

Wow... unfortunate.

[2/10 · 15 February 2021]

Ok I get it... Koreans in space. But despite some good graphics the ENTIRE room where we were watching this cleared of people to the pool after only half an hour... leaving only me. And I left after an hour with a headache. This film is geared towards twelve year olds, perhaps then this movie this might be great entertainment. But it is basically a video game with very little plot of any interest. I do wish the producers our best moving forward.

The Laundromat (I) (2019)

China harvesting organs!

[9/10 · 5 November 2019]

There was a part in here where a businessman was murdered by a wealthy Chinese woman, this story is about Bo and is all true! The Chinese slaughter people for their organs, it's horrifying. The current CCP regime murder, torture, rape, all for profit...it's insane, and all true. I can't believe that these facts family wound up on film. For the brave and for truth truth this film is worth all the tea in China. Bravo everybody, bravo!

Abominable (2019)

Horrible...

[2/10 · 20 October 2019]

Tried to get through it, impossible. Poorly constructed, poorly conceived, poorly animated, it looks like all the top reviews were faked. No matter, there are many excellent animated films, children's films, and better stories out there. Pass on this, hard pass.

Living with Yourself (2019)

Very thin, we were disappointed.

[5/10 · 20 October 2019]

Love Paul, super actor. But the thin plot slid rapidly into personal issues among the principles. Rarely funny or inspirational or intriguing. We were so very bored the last few episodes were mainly fast forwarded. Doubt we will return for any additional seasons. We were looking forward to this show. Fail...

Shaft (2019)

Massive brutal embarrassment, talentless directing...

[2/10 · 5 October 2019]

Wow, there was so much potential. The big takeaway is according to the people who made this film all white people are incompetent and rude. There was nothing else in the entire movie to compliment. The flow was clumsy, it was brutally formulaic, very juvenile in its approach to everything, nothing was fresh, nothing was well written, it just all relied on Samuel Jackson. Without Samuel Jackson this is a 0 out of 10. The last film I saw Samuel Jackson was "My Hitman's bodyguard".. that was orders of magnitude and in a different galaxy SUPERIOR than this poo fest ... this director should be retired retroactively.

See You Yesterday (2019)

Worst. Movie. EVER.

[2/10 · 20 May 2019]

OK, you probably already saw the trailer on Netflix. White shoots black. That's pretty much all you need to know, that this is the super creative premise...oh yes and time travel. The plot development was nonexistent, the characters were flat, is it not possible to know where this and that begins and ends... not funny, not insightful, poor production values. A massive and endless failure... oh well, it's not really a movie...don't know what it is... Spike Lee should retire...

The Captain (2017)

Welcome to Germany!

[8/10 · 17 May 2019]

This film was beautifully photographed, wonderfully acted, excruciatingly detailed. And it was also a brutally honest look at the human being during a time of war. While watching this I wondered what my friends and I would be like if we had been fighting for our lives for years. Would we still be 'noble'? Would be still be reasonable? Would be still be human? Or something else ...

The only main fault I could find was in editing, there were a few scenes that were simply far too long, this detracted from the film.

Other than that, this was refreshingly not not a typical Hollywood romp. B+

Roma (2018)

Cinematic wonder... yet plot is meandering insipid stew of hollow, vapid, pointless nothingness...

[3/10 · 12 April 2019]

No spoilers... bad movies make us hop with the remote, we hopped through so many scenes of relentless drudgery we got dizzy. A few good scenes, maybe... but a maid who cannot scoop dog poop? ... or reach for a condom... this does not a masterpiece make. Icky premise, men are pure evil, women are victims, life is tolerable sometimes? Nothing to see here...

Unplanned (I) (2019)

Hilarious, dark comedy... suspend your disbelief because this is black mirror turbo.

[2/10 · 9 April 2019]

Greetings all, I very much wanted to enjoy this movie. Well...while catastrophically disjointed and nonsensical, it was quite poorly constructed as a propaganda piece. This is not actually a film, it's just a hit-job on other people's systems of beliefs. It's a film about the brutal and abject complete intolerance of free people by those who believe in wholly unholy imaginary beings. We found the acting dry, the premise unsustainable, and the acting universally intolerable. If one's beliefs are truly about the subjugation of others, then you may find this film your holy wafer.

The Dirt (2019)

Not even remotely as good as Spinal Tap...

[4/10 · 23 March 2019]

It is funny, Spinal Tap had much better music and was a fake (then real?) joke band. A cautionary tale about rock and roll bands, sure... but we know how rockers acted in the past. We were all bored stiff half way in...ughh. If you are a fan then great, see it. Otherwise, try to catch a documentary of a more relevant band, not a single person we know has ever heard of any these songs by this group. The production by Netflix was sufficientl, but the material brutally inconsequential. We do wish them all well in their retirement.

Paskal (2018)

Seriously?

[3/10 · 16 March 2019]

Apparently if one is Malay, this movie is a 10. Otherwise it plays out like a 1970 TV movie. At the bowie knife fight I gave up. I cannot recommend if you are used to higher quality fare, it is clear that team Malay voted this way up... yet this is substandard otherwise.

Love, Death & Robots (2019– )

Best. Show. Ever.

[10/10 · 15 March 2019]

A series of science fiction shorts, just with any doctor would order. Astonishingly wonderful. Absolutely the best television/series type show I've watch this season without a doubt. Creative, artistic, varied material each segment, all of the shorts are 10 to 20 minute snippets from quite different producers with completely different plots... some more creative than others. The "yogurt that took over the world" was my favorite this season, even though they were more powerful episodes. Enjoy!

Polar (I) (2019)

Solid Netflix two hours ...

[8/10 · 25 January 2019]

I thought the actors were fantastic, almost all of them. Vanessa Hudgens would be the outlier... she was miscast.

Yes, the editing was sloppy, and many of the scenes were too long... specifically the long torture tribute which was just bizarre and reeked of stupidity.

However, even with all the missed potential, there was always enough going on to keep us interested. Wonderful costumes, beautiful sets, sumblime photography and beautifully arranged scenes were just a few of the nuggets, we ever have a cameo from Richard Dreyfuss!

If you are not squeamish, and violence is no problem I would recommend this movie ... absolutely not acceptable for my mom or the kids ...

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)

Exquisite, mesmorizing, glorious...

[10/10 · 10 December 2018]

It appears that 1/3 of viewers should have stuck to watching Disney movies. Several have the audacity to give this movie grotesque reviews after stating that they were Coen brothers fans.... but are not. Coen brother movies? Most, quite thankfully, are unique. And human frailty, duplicity, vanity, stupidity and death are CENTRAL themes. Seriously, maybe this is why some should stick to 'Grownups 4' where middle-aged unfunny friends of Sandler laugh about farting and looking up women's dresses as the central plot-points.

Song, shoot-em-ups, villainy, greed are thankfully all present sure... but we do have a couple of heroes mixed in, a damsel in distress, and even justice.

And again the ultimate in reality viewing. Death. Just sayin' no escapin' ...

THANK O GOD THANK YOU Coen brother you make my heart sing... !!!

Larva (2011–2022)

Brutally hilarious... creative and super-duper fun!

[10/10 · 6 February 2018]

This is quite simply the most wonderfully creative short cartoon series I have ever seen. Shaun the Sheep is beyond great, older Bugs Bunny cartoons are simply sublime perfection, but these Larva shorts are only a few minutes of splendor yet completely different and a unique feast. The entire room erupts in laughter when we put these on the TV. Treat yourselves and get hooked! I am so surprised there are not more reviews on IMDB, this is timeless fun.

Quarry (2016)

No, not biting...

[4/10 · 1 November 2017]

OK, I understand why many people may like this series. But with so much great television and a desire to minimize tube time Quarry will never make the cut.

At 50 years I demand that old racial tension baiting themes that have been a brutal and pointless drum beat since I was 6 and "Roots" came out have lost any ridiculous charm in the half century... the BS must end. Unsavory low of lowest hanging fruit.

Lets move on with fresh material or racial harmony... I am over-saturated.

All films or television with racial subjugation are now over-exploited, seriously boring and maybe quite harmful as a society that needs to unite.

I want to escape! And not be beaten or bored with non-sense of poo stirring stupidity.

Sent (2017)

Asian daytime TV not HBO

[4/10 · 17 September 2017]

OK, this show appeals to? Not us, my wife is Vietnamese... we both want the programming in Asia to be meatier.

It's not actually HBO, it is embarrassingly sub-par... nothing remotely like fine heavy (even dark) shows like Game of Thrones or Boardwalk Empire (or any of the hard-hitting and ball-crunching series that we have been graced with otherwise). This plays like a simple candied and fluffy sitcom television series for preteens, little tinkling bells, ha ha moments that are not really ha ha... super light, and so much filler that after one episode we have seen enough (fat ass?). But it will be here all month...akkk.

With Netflix and others now putting out an over-abundance of top notch entertainment that we are now subscribing to in Vietnam, this will never ever get watched not ever ever ever by anyone I know... not ever...

Sorry HBO, this is a miss big time... "Serangoon Road" was also brutally bad "Asia HBO", and it was even worse (and we all knew it will be canceled immediately). Bubbly is OK, but this show is still not truly funny.. stick these in local programming please or Netflix will gobble you up. Uhhhh

Know Your Enemy - Japan (1945)

Absolutely Fantastic!

[9/10 · 9 August 2017]

This film was made for troops entering battle in the searing heat of the second "world war" in just one generation. That war was started by Japan against a neutral United States. This was during the increasingly brutal butchery by the Japanese Imperial army against almost all its Asian neighbors, also neutral.

Inconsistent, blotchy and incomplete, this film is a true gem. Many historical facts are present, contemporary views of the Japanese society clearly stated, and it brings us to where the US and Japanese goals collide.

It clearly also is an ideal primer for modern day China vs the USA, the parallels are everywhere. And the ending may be even worse. If one does not know history, rinse and repeat! But very much worth watching if we are careful to remember from what time and mental space it originated.

Sunshine (1999)

Tiresome and dry...

[9/10 · 10 May 2017]

I LOVE Ralph... LOVE him. But despite the great film quality and generally great acting, I could not stay put...daydreamed half the movie away. BORING.. Cut in half and less focus on religious intolerance then OK. Jews were persecuted, so was everybody else in the long and brutal human history. Got it. Fatigue already. A film about the Jews saving other brutally oppressed people would be better. Go find that story.

I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017)

Through the Woods...

[9/10 · 18 March 2017]

Just what the nurse ordered. We loved this film, superbly shot and acted... so fresh. This had a hint of Coen brothers, could never tell where the story was taking us. The attention to detail made almost every scene a joy to watch. And both the leads are heroes, we wished we were that brave and determined. Good fun, thank you Netflix.

Luke Cage (2016–2018)

Unwatchable...

[2/10 · 23 October 2016]

I came on here after waiting breathlessly for this series and the hope that it hits hard. Yet in every way our hero could fix (as all the other commenters have also noted) the city's 'Cottonmouth problem" in a few episodes... turns out everybody is feckless. The hero hapless, the villain moronic, the henchmen hilariously incompetent.

I stuck with it for four boring hours. The last hour I started fast forwarding ... something that for most HBO productions these days would be almost unthinkable. Netflix has House of Cards and a few others that are 100% riveting and binge-worthy. If forced to watch another hour of LC I would need to be unspeakably high, drunk or both. If the hyper-mediocre craftings of Cheo Hodari Coker were to continue on with 'Luke Cage'- the series it will collapse on itself by the end of the year.

I was actually hoping for a moment while watching the end of the fourth episode that Luke would be mercifully killed sooner than later, then I finally realized this show was a pos.