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chrismulcheater
- Just completely fantastic!!!! (100%)
- Great!!!! (90%)
- Pretty Good!! (80%)
- Alright!! Good but kinda middling (70%)
- Mediocre, Apathetic or Mixed Feelings. A skip from me (60%)
- No Sir I Don’t Like It! (50%)
- Horrid Quality or Complete Mess (40%)
- Nothing of Value Here (10%-0%)
I also have an AOTY where I rate and review stuff!; chrismulcheater
Ratings
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Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againThis list is purely based on how cool, memorable or "iconic" the opening is, not so much based on what I think of the shows themselves.
Reviews
Dear David (2023)
Couldn't finish it
The official trailers made this film look hilarious, so I was excited to see it. I love unintentional comedies and I know movies based on creepypasta are always doomed to fail (ex; the film "adaptation" of Marble Hornets). I was fully ready to turn my brain off and enjoy a 2-hour idiot extravaganza with this film.
Instead, Dear David commits the cardinal sin of bad cinema; It's intensely boring. It's wholly lackluster. The pacing is a complete slog, even on 2x speed. The film makes Adam Ellis look like a complete tool (I'd assume the real Adam Ellis is probably an ok guy since I don't know him personally, obviously). It has a handful of silly moments that did make me chuckle, but it's mostly just slow, pretentious, out of touch, and painfully inoffensive.
Avoid this one. It's not even ironically good.
Alfred Alfer (2006)
You shouldn't watch this, but not for the reasons you might think.
It's not the usual edgy Newgrounds content. This is a vent piece from a 16-year-old creator who was confirmed to be traumatized in the same way Alfred was. This 16-year-old also voices Alfred, making the scenes where he screams in realistic agony very disturbing.
The sides of the debate surrounding this show ("this is just nazi propaganda" and "muh coping mechanism") are both fundamentally wrong. The problem is not the edgy content. The problem is that consuming this series is voyeuristic. To watch this like it's something as typical as Family Guy would be to use the raw, unfiltered anguish of a real child as entertainment. It's like gawking at someone bleeding to death. This series is a long unanswered cry for help.
The only value this series has is that it offers a genuine look into a traumatized mind.
I-Be Area (2007)
Definitely one of the movies of all time.
I'm completely unfamiliar with the work of Ryan Trecartin. I only learned about this film due to its connections to Death Grips.
The second hour is an unwatchable mess. During this "act," the fragments of understandable narrative go totally out the window and the chaotic pace of the editing intensifies. The novelty of this runs thin quickly.
In contrast, I love the first hour of this movie with my whole heart. The editing, camerawork, dialogue and esoteric sci-fi lore of this film is unhinged. It really tickles my ADHD. It's like a dream that feels profound in the moment but is nonsensical when you wake up.
It's an elaborate, colorful, unique shitpost that I love in all of its messy, obnoxious glory. Just stop watching when the timestamp hits 1 hours.
Edit 1; Got the time of the second half wrong, oopsies.
Alien Nine (2001)
Utterly horrifying
It's short and ends abruptly due to being canceled mid-way, but it is gripping and truly one of a kind. The characters aren't super fleshed out, but they have enough meat to them that the end carries a lot of weight.
The animation is gorgeous. The creature designs are a bit lackluster, but the big bad "Yellow Knife" is imposing and disgusting, fitting his role in the story as an existential nightmare. I would also buy plushies of the Borgs if they made them.
My only complaint is the ending, which seems to be a common critique of this show. It ends on a bleak cliffhanger. This is because the animated adaptation ends somewhere in the middle of the manga, and was canceled before it could wrap itself up. I find this very unfortunate, as I think I'd watch a good 100 episodes of whatever brand of crazy this is.
Despite being unfinished, Alien Nine is a hidden gem of anime psychological horror. If you like mind-bendy anime like Evangelion or Madoka Magica, I can't recommend this OVA enough. It's beautiful and disgusting.
Meikyû monogatari (1987)
Very cool :)
It's a shame this collection of short films is called "Neo Tokyo" when it has nothing to do with Akira, and was not intended to have anything to do with Akira. None of these shorts even take place in Neo Tokyo. Nonetheless, Neo Tokyo/Manie-Manie/Labyrinth Tales is a pretty cool collection of short films.
Labyrinth Labyrinthos, the first short in the collection, has the weakest story of the three, but the best visuals. The animation is insane. The short is both fun and incredibly unsettling throughout, but I didn't feel satisfied with the ending.
Running Man is probably the most "Neo Tokyo" of all of the shorts. It's gorgeous and horrifying. The story is fairly straightforward, but it'll leave you with a sad little pit in your stomach by the end.
Cancellation Order is my favorite. It has all of the bells and whistles that I love in a Katsuhiro Otomo film; cool and clever setting and character design and damn good writing/story. The way it uses environmental storytelling is fantastic.
All in all, if you like weird cartoons and have 50 minutes to spare, give Neo Tokyo a go. It's pretty great.
Kanashimi no Beradonna (1973)
Interesting.
The animation is gorgeous and unique. There isn't anything quite like this movie in terms of visuals. I love the surreal segments where the film just throws a bunch of scary, colorful imagery at you. I'm just a sucker for that.
I appreciate it for its sensitive handling of sexual assault and mental illness. I can see why people call it feminist for its time. It doesn't exploit the imagery of Jeanne being raped for shock or the gratification of the audience, and her depressive arc resonated with me.
However, I find the framing of the relationship between Jeanne and the devil troubling. The devil does nothing but rape and bully her, but when she sides with him, it's framed as badass and triumphant. It's clearly abusive, but they end up being framed as an epic demonic power couple by the end of the film. It's weird.