fmbr-1 Reviews

NCIS: The First Day (2021) Season 18, Episode 7

Sudden Covid is a bit jarring

[8/10 · 7 March 2024]

While I like this episode, it's a strange one. The episode before, nothing about Covid and Jimmy is fine. This one, suddenly Jimmy's wife is dead from Covid and there is Covid messaging everywhere. There are signs on the elevator, hand sanitiser everywhere, even marks on the floor to keep people apart. There is a shield in the interrogation room and everyone is taking off and putting on masks. I'm fine with the Covid messaging but the suddenness is astonishing. I lived through Covid and while there were all of the things in this episode I remember it being a little more gradual than this.

Other than this jarring thing though, the episode is pretty good. Certainly worth watching and one of the better ones.

NCIS: Hawai'i (2021–2024)

Good, but not great.

[7/10 · 2 November 2022]

This show seems to have polarised a lot of people and I don't really get why. The characters seem okay, at very least not unpleasant; even some character growth and development. The plots are fairly standard, good guys catch bad guys sort of thing with some reasonable investigation. Production values are high and the Hawaii scenery is great to look at.

It is a little reminiscent of Hawaii Five-0, and maybe it is a little too soon after that series finished.

Granted, I also don't think that this is the best series ever either. But, I never feel like I've wasted an hour of my life watching it.

Without Remorse (II) (2021)

The protagonist is an awful person

[2/10 · 1 March 2022]

I've read a lot of the Tom Clancy books and while they can get a little too over the top, this piece of garbage isn't worthy of Tom Clancy's name - even if you don't like him.

The original book, has John Clark fighting against pimps and criminals after they kill his girlfriend. Even in this, Clark is cautious, careful and maintains discipline. In this piece of weird fan-fiction, John Kelly is caught in a conspiracy that kills a lot of his friends, his wife and unborn child. Fair enough, I get he wants revenge.

However, Kelly then goes about brazenly injuring, torturing and killing people, many of them quite probably innocent without pause. He often does this right out in the open, trusting that whatever he is doing is just more important than anything anyone else has to do in their lives. He then seems surprised when he should have to face some consequences for his very open actions. From about the half way point in the film I was hoping that someone would put him out of my misery.

While I'm not surprised that he succeeds at the end, what does surprise me is why the people near him, those that he keeps alienating and putting into terrible situations, keep helping him or saving his life. I would have kicked his backside to the curb and wouldn't have shed a tear when he died.

RoboCop 2 (1990)

For my money, a little better than the original.

[8/10 · 5 February 2022]

This is one of the few times I feel that the sequel is better than the original. In the first Robocop, we have the creation of the titular character slated against an evil criminal gang. An OCP executive, the company that created Robocop, has a deal with this criminal gang to help him out which always seemed a little strange to me, and is focused on a big development in this part of Detroit.

Robocop II has a far more subtle plot, which involves the drug business and OCP trying to take over the city. The city has even a more dystopian feel but the real quality in this film are the machinations of the two antagonists, OCP and the drug manufacturers. Both use their considerable resources to meet their goals, often in clever ways. For example, in order to sabotage Robocop's interference with their plans, OCP burdens him with literally hundreds of directives which quite effectively hobble him. The drug manufacturers try to aid the democratic government of the city by providing funds and ask that they allow their drug to be legalised in return which would make it safer, more affordable and they even agree not to advertise.

Even the title of Robocop 2 is appropriate, as the main villain for movie is a second version of Robocop called Robocop 2. In all, while not a great film, I think this is a little better than the original.

The Hardy Boys: Welcome to Your Life (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Good start, I hope they keep it up

[8/10 · 29 December 2021]

I read the Hardy Boys novels as a kid in the 1970s and I'm guessing that I'm the target audience. From the first episode, I'm impressed but it is different to what I expected.

In the books, the boys mother, Laura Hardy is pretty much a non-entity. Aunt Trudy and the boys girlfriends are pretty much the only female characters and are pretty poorly developed - kind of expected, it's for teenage boys written in the sixties and seventies.

Well, they spent a lot of the first episode really developing Laura and her relationship with her boys ... and then kill her off. I did not expect this. Other differences are that Frank is 16, in the books he is 18, Joe is supposed to be 17 but in this he seems younger, maybe 13 at a guess. The story starts in Dixon City (probably named for the author of the books, Franklin W Dixon) and then the boys move to Bridgeport and start meeting their friends. Biff is now a girl closer to Joe's age, Chet is also a little younger and doesn't seem to have the prominent role he has in the books. The brother's grandmother, Gloria Estabrook seems to have a very prominent role, while Aunt Trudy is very much in the background. Granted, this is just from the first episode.

I thought it was pretty good, production values are fine and getting kids that can act this well can be difficult. Granted, they aren't going to win Oscar's any time soon, but they are pretty good. The atmosphere is pretty spot on, cinematography is good and the writing is very clean.

I'll keep watching for sure.

Star Trek: Voyager: Spirit Folk (2000) Season 6, Episode 17

The holodeck is just messing with them now

[5/10 · 23 September 2021]

Everything in the holodeck has to be controlled by the computer. So, the computer here decided to let the characters it creates and constantly monitors notice the odd seeming behaviour of the Voyager crew and then comes up with a plan to torture that crew for information - despite the computer having all of that information all along. This is the flaw, we are supposed to see the characters here as sentient creatures, like The Doctor (who I still have some problems with), where they are all just puppets who only can think and act how the computer tells them to.

The worst part is where the computer tells one character to shoot at the computer panel and it apparently causes a 'computer malfunction'. So, either the computer deliberately decided to hurt itself, or did that so that it could continue to mess with the crew and give itself an excuse.

I also don't get why Captain Janeway would put the safety of her holo-boyfriend above the safety of her crew - well, Harry and Tom anyway. I get that she's lonely but really is an Irish publican the best she can do? She has a very real Chakotay in the real world and if she's going for the holodeck, why not have a herd of good-looking hunks who love nothing more than to cook, clean and cuddle.

For myself, were I in the 24th Century I wouldn't set one foot in the holodeck unless I was explicitly ordered. People die in there with alarming regularity. It makes hard vacuum seem a relatively benign environment by comparison.

For All Mankind: Nixon's Women (2019) Season 1, Episode 3

Alternate History Women in Space Early on.

[9/10 · 22 August 2021]

This is where the series really starts showing the real changes in the alternate history. First, there is talk about Skylab, which is going to now become Moonlab. Second, as the soviets landed a woman on the second moon mission, Nixon wants a woman on one of the next moon missions, probably to get more of the women vote.

This episode focuses on the training of these women which include Stacy, Gordo's wife. It's a good way of showing the astronaut training as well as the way the early astronauts needed to not only be good pilots but also good ambassadors for NASA and the government to the press. Candidates ability to do this is almost as important as their ability to operate the equipment.

The various personalities and backgrounds of several women is explored and this is fairly formulaic. There is the super-competent woman who is a little harsh and cynical. There is Stacy, who is really there because she is Gordo's wife and that would play well with the press, there is a black woman to help with two minority demographics, there is a rich woman hiding she is rich, etc.

Not perhaps the best episode so far but it is still a good one with strong performances.

Fear the Walking Dead: Mother (2021) Season 6, Episode 14

What a coincidence ... or six.

[5/10 · 14 August 2021]

I was very disappointed in this episode as the writers relied on great coincidences for things to happen and then made it seem like Teddy had it planned all along.

First coincidence, Dakota comes off the bus just in time to join Alica and Teddy, talking about her mother. This is an extraordinary leap that could not be anticipated and without Dakota there things would have been very different at the end, especially when she stops Alicia from shooting Teddy and delays her from walking away.

Second coincidence, the flat tire that leads them to be saved/ambushed by Cole and co. This turned out to be even better than what Teddy was trying to do, at least as he tells it, which is amazing. The fact that this group has turned so desperate/evil further going to demonstrating Teddy's message to Alicia. It is, at least, show don't tell, but them showing up as they did is amazingly convienient.

As a side note, why did Teddy go the the crypt of his 'mother', appear so caring toward her on several occasions? It turns out that this isn't his mother and he couldn't care less about the corpse but what was the whole charade about? Are the writers trying to show that he knew that there were some bad people around, saw the nailboard, deliberately ran over it in the hopes that he would encounter these people and then live to tell about it? If that's the case, he should have been a fortune teller for his ability to predict the future.

The third coincidence is that Cole knows Alicia and vice-versa. Even if Teddy knew that bad people were around, chances are they wouldn't be with someone that knew Alicia. They would have just as likely shot them, stolen their vehicle and gone on their way. The fact that these bad hombres have people that Alicia knows and know her is pretty much astronomical.

The fourth coincidence is that neither Alicia nor Cole and co every harm Teddy. He is condescending and horrible throughout and I'd guess that even an ethics professor would agree that the Boots of Groin Kicking could and should be applied. While Alicia says that she needs to keep him alive to find out what his group has planned, she should have realised that simply asking wasn't getting her anywhere. A good beating might have convinced him to be a little more forthcoming.

The fifth coincidence is the walker that show up just as Cole and co want to execute Alicia, Dakota and Teddy. Further to that, the walkers only seem to pose a threat to Cole and co and are easily dealt with by the initially unarmed, kneeling group and not the heavily armed, numerous others.

As a further point to this, why doesn't Alicia join Cole? She's willing to work with Teddy whom she despises. With Cole, she could have easily convinced them to follow Teddy's group to where they were going, picking up the trail from where they just left, and stopping the plan while Teddy's corpse is laying on the ground and deprives his group of leadership. It seems strange that she seems to hate her desperate and need old friends far more than a megalomaniac killer like Teddy.

The sixth and final coincidence is that Teddy's group shows up just after the fight with the walkers and Cole, just as Alicia is going her own way. Where they all waiting just around the corner? If not, why were they willing to let Cole and his group even attempt to murder their leader; why did they let the walkers get even close?

I'm sorry, but this is an example of bad writing. It might look okay on a storyboard for ways to move the plot from A to B to C, but when you're seeing it, it just looks too contrived for belief.

Star Trek: Voyager: Real Life (1997) Season 3, Episode 22

Torres choose to tortue the Doctor with family

[4/10 · 10 July 2021]

The B story, involving the space eddies is a bit ho-hum. The A story has more bite but has a very dark undertone. The Doctor, seeing that crew value the experience of having a family, creates a holo-family of his own which is a little comical as they are all perfect examples and worship The Doctor. However, Torres decides to change the program to make it more realistic and the chaos and difficulties allegedly allow The Doctor to grow through the hardship.

This is all good, but Torres seems more intent on torturing The Doctor with a wife far too busy to spend much time with him, a son who is basically intent on joining a Klingon criminal gang and a daughter that dies slowly from an accident. Strangely, no one seems to blame Torres for this flood of horror and just encourages The Doctor to push on and develop emotionally.

Star Trek: Voyager: Displaced (1997) Season 3, Episode 24

A pretty good episode but ...

[7/10 · 10 July 2021]

Four things bother me about this episode. The first is that the aliens somehow have a jail ship close enough to swap crew-members out of Voyager without anyone being able to detect it. It's a pretty big ship by the look of it too with dozens of different biomes big enough to house thousands of aliens comfortably. Why would these aliens bother with this, why not just maroon the crew on some distant moon or isolated island that they aren't using. Even easier would be to just kill them, but apparently these aliens aren't nearly that dark.

This brings me to the second thing. When Paris and Torres are in the cold biome and take down two, nearly frozen aliens, who are just about dead from the cold. They just leave them there. I'm sorry, but those two guys are dead, it's pointed out that the aliens need about 45 degrees C to thrive and that they don't handle the cold well.

Third, these amazingly well hidden aliens managed to learn everything about Voyager from hacking into the computer. Something Tuvok didn't discover or even notice and the aliens are able to translate an alien language and understand all of the software without being noticed? Granted, Janeway and Tuvok are just about as quickly (and absurdly) take over the alien computers once they have access so at least there is balance.

Finally, why oh why hasn't Tuvok set up a minor computer program to alert him when someone's life-signs no longer appear on the ship? Why isn't this a standard feature on all Star Fleet vessels? The computer clearly knew exactly when Kes (and others) disappeared, but we had to have people constantly ask what happened to them. This seems to be an incredible oversight.

Greenland (2020)

Not bad, but certainly not great.

[6/10 · 17 February 2021]

A lot of these reviews talk strangely about a lack of cliches in this film but there are plenty. The sick kid, the family separated and then desperately trying to get find each other again, the count down to the end of the world, all of these are there.

Some complain about the acting, but I thought it was okay. The pacing was also good which can be tricky, not too frenetic, but also not with long dull parts of people looking off meaningfully into the distance.

The worst part to me was the blistering stupidity of the two groups of people trying to steal the families wrist bands to get on a flight to safety. Equal stupidity goes to the family for not just handing them over. I would have thought that such high levels of idiocy didn't exist, or at least were astonishingly uncommon, however some of the things I see people believe these days has led me to reconsider.

I gave this a six out of 10 because it is easy to watch but doesn't really bear much thinking about and teaches very little.

Mulan (2020)

Very Disappointing

[3/10 · 20 January 2021]

Even if I don't compare this to the original Disney Mulan, this would still be a disappointment. My biggest problem is that Mulan, the Emperor and most of the antagonists seem to have poorly explained super powers (referred to as Chi for the film) which are poorly explained or defined. This takes all the stakes out of the movie as whenever she is in trouble, Mulan can just pull out some awesome feat out and save herself. A good example of this is the sorceress throws a shuriken at Mulan which throws her twenty feet through the air and knocks her out against a rock, but doesn't penetrate the wrapping around her breasts?

This also leads to the other characters not really mattering much to the film except that Mulan likes them and is trying, at least for most of the film, to keep her secret.

One positive note is the cinematography. The scenery and even shots they get are pretty impressive to look at.

Finally, there are just so many plot holes in this film to take seriously. Why does Mulan just throw away her armour? Why does the avalanche just bury the enemies? Why does the bird sorceress feel beholden to the enemy, she is clearly more powerful than him? Why doesn't Bori Khan attack a lot earlier, he easily could? This whole film wreaks of 'style over substance', something I've never liked.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Up the Long Ladder (1989) Season 2, Episode 18

A Terrible Episode Not Worth Watching

[2/10 · 12 January 2021]

There is so much to dislike in this episode.

First there is Worf who collapses because he gets sick and won't admit it, because a Warrior doesn't give in to illness. Well that's another route the Romulans or even the Federation have to defeat the Klingons - just create a few virus' and introduce them, the Klingons will continue to go to their posts and infect all of the others "not to give in." Surely there is something in the Klingon doctrine about treating your body well and preventing diseases or conditions from stopping one from functioning. This criticizm isn't often brought up in this episode though because it is overshadowed by even more stupidity.

Second is the "back to nature" colonists that try to utilize every Irish stereotype, with the exception of Leprechauns, on this. Now, I didn't find this as offensive as others, but it was almost like the writers were saying, "how can we really honk off the Irish community?" before writing the episode.

Third, the next colony they encounter is made up of clones and they just want some genetic materiel from the crew to make their clones viable. Riker not only refuses but gets angry at this simple request saying,"One William Riker is... unique, perhaps even special, but a hundred of him, a thousand of him... diminishes me in ways I can't even imagine." The reason he can't imagine these ways is because they don't exist. If there are a thousand people that look like him on a planet he never goes to and are different to him in every other way, as they would be, how does that damage his 'uniqueness'. This is simply his cultural bigotry showing and the fact that Picard blithely states that the rest of the Enterprise would agree seems that bigotry is not just Riker's problem.

Riker is pretty creepy in this episode doing a lot of leering at one of the fake Irish colonists as well. Even having sexual relations with her. I would have loved it if she insisted he marry her then and watch him wriggle out of it. Quite willing to tread on anyone else's culture as long as you get what you want seems to be Riker's motto.

Riker and Polaski's DNA is taken, without their knowledge, and when they find out, Riker goes down to the planet and kills the clones being grown which smacks uncomfortably as abortion. I'm certain it was also a crime in that culture but I guess clones are just seen as evil in the Federation at this time.

The solution at the end of this terrible episode is that they put the Fake Irish colonists with the clones to create a society despite the fact that it goes against all of the values of both groups with them insisting on multiple breeding partners. Further, my guess is that as soon as the Enterprise is on its way, the cloners will just enslave the Fake Irish and do what they want anyway.

A terrible episode not worth watching.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Pen Pals (1989) Season 2, Episode 15

Why is the Prime Directive so bad?

[5/10 · 8 January 2021]

I'm confused, does the Prime Directive prevent Star Fleet from preventing natural disasters on planets? Even if this will be completely unknown and cause no change to the culture, except to, you know, save it from extinction?

Picard mentions all sorts of natural disasters and everyone is in agreement that they should act, but then when he gets to war, they are, understandable, more reticent. That is because natural disasters are not at all under control of the culture - but war is.

The Prime Directive is there to protect cultures from advanced knowledge and technology, but it shouldn't be a lead weight tied to a culture so that it dies or suffers.

Star Fleet is starting to look like fair-weather friends. Willing to help societies that don't really need it but refusing to help those with a real need.

Glitch (2015–2019)

Good, if a little flawed

[7/10 · 11 September 2019]

Glitch is basically a good series, definitely worthy of something Netflix would produce except they'd bloat it with 4 episodes worth of filler to make each season 10 episodes.

As I said, it is good, but there are a few flaws. I was more interested in the science fiction element going in, and sadly this is a little under developed. In fact, this is somewhat reminiscent of Lost, where answers are hard to come by and it's a little big on the drama, which begins to wear a little.

One of the biggest aspects of this can be cleaned up easily. The love triangle between James, Kate and Sarah, the rules are very specific and well known in the case of marriage. The vow is "forsaking all others (in love)" and "until death do us part." From all reports, James and Kate's marriage was fine until Kate died - ending all obligations. James marrying Sarah a year after Kate's death is fine as both were single and available at the time. When Kate comes back, neither her nor James has any obligations to each other and James was clearly wrong in having sex with her. Sarah is completely justified in being upset. Further, Kate is not entitled to any of her old property and one's rights to it are relinquished at death, according to a will (or whatever arrangements are made). The house is not Kate's.

My other biggest problem is why are the characters keeping this secret? This is clearly the greatest scientific area of study for the last thousand years (if not longer) and they should have told everyone possible. Soon after, scientists from around the globe would happily descend on the small town and would be forced to treat those that returned from the dead with great care.

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Tarantino by another name

[8/10 · 21 February 2019]

I'd never heard of this one until early this year, and then I heard of it from three different sources all within three weeks. So, I thought I'd see it for myself.

Unfortunately, I wasn't really in the mood for a Tarantino-esk film, and this really is. It's got cute little cuts between the main characters, lots of flash-backs and a big serving of both psycho and violence.

Despite all this, I still thought it was very good and if you are a Tarantino fan, you should probably like this film. Plus, look out for Miles, the desk clerk, who is played by Lewis Pullman, the son of Bill Pullman.

The Predator (2018)

This is a barely coherent mess

[3/10 · 18 January 2019]

This is not a good movie. The characters are unlikable and completely unrelatable, the motives of the shady government researchers are cryptic at best and the coincidence machine goes into meltdown several times here. The plot has enough holes in it to be considered a fishing net.

It is a pity really, because there are some top rate actors in this. Boyd Holbrook from Narcos, Olivia Munn from X-Men and The Newsroom, Sterling K. Brown from Black Panther, Alfie Allen from Game of Thrones, Jake Busey from Starship Troopers and so many others. It even has Yvonne Strahovski from Handmaid's Tale. I thought it might be the script or direction, but Shane Black has some fairly good writing credentials under his belt and while his direction isn't as stellar, I can't see that being why this film is so bad.

My only thought is that it may have tried to stick too close to a comic it was based on - similar to what happened with Watchmen. Whatever the reason, this is a mess and if you are looking forward to seeing it you'll probably be mightily disappointed. Try to keep the expectations low before watching.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Deeply flawed

[4/10 · 10 August 2018]

There are two types of stories where the hero doesn't save the day. Horror and documentary - horror because the villian is far too powerful to begin with, but even then is usually thwarted by the last of the survivors it has chosen to torment. The other is documentaries, because they are based on real events - but usually the heroes win, because they write the histories. This film is neither and while others applaud the boldness of letting half of the universe get snuffed out, I would say that if the studio was truly bold it would not release another film featuring the characters it so casually got rid of. As it is, this 'boldness' costs them nothing more than thinking of some BS excuse to bring them back, and we are all the poorer for it, for if they can be brought back once, why not twice? Why not over and over again? Death has no meaning to these heroes, they'll be back as long as writers can dream up an excuse. Further, I object to Thanos' loony idea. Kill five billion people on Earth (half is less but then there are airline pilots that disappeared, people killed in traffic because of crashes, etc. etc. Within 100 years, the population will be pushing 8 billion again. He hasn't stoped the problem, merely delayed it for a little while. However, the problem isn't even real. Thomas Malthus published his 'Essay on the Principle of Population' in 1798 predicting that people would run out of food - yet today, we produce far more food than we can use (even if it was sent to feed the hungry in areas of famine). Finally, Thanos doesn't even have the courage of his convictions. If he believed that it was for the good of the universe, he should have volunteered that he be the first taken. The fact that he isn't means that he doesn't believe and is also a coward. Truly this is the worst of the Marvel films to date.

Z Nation: The Unknowns (2017) Season 4, Episode 5

Disappointing

[3/10 · 13 February 2018]

I don't really expect much of Z-Nation. It's an easy watch in a guilty pleasure sort of way. But this episode was just lazy writing. Give an invisible antagonist with an all powerful sound weapon and force the characters into bizarre like puzzle challenges. No idea who is behind this, no sense in the resolution as the team only got away because the antagonists didn't seem to use their weapon quickly enough twice, as they had before.

Come on guys, try a little better for next time.

Hard Sun (2018)

I feel cheated

[2/10 · 8 February 2018]

I was expecting a series about preparations for the end of the world and instead I get a sloppy police procedural filled with little dialog and lots of artistic camera shots.

I'm not kidding about the sloppy police work. The second episode, they break procedure to stop a hostage situation where children are likely to be killed - fair enough. But then, they leave the wife to distract the psycho husband with a shotgun while they sneak in to locate the kids and then try to carry them out. Is it just me or shouldn't they have, I don't know, tried to subdue the armed assailant first, considering that they had him out numbered and had surprise on their side.

In the end, the wife is shot at, one of the detectives looses one of the kids they rescue and then abandons one the one she has. She is beaten up by the armed assailant and about to be killed in front of the child - all things that could have been avoided if they had addressed the danger at first.

I tell you, these are the worst cops in the rest of the short history of the world according to this series.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Some Good, Some Bad

[6/10 · 13 September 2017]

This film is neither good nor bad. There are aspects of both and I can commend those involved for trying to do something different, but it wasn't done as well as it might have been.

First and foremost, the special effects are 'BIG'. It starts with 200' tall elephants attacking Camelot which happens to be on a massive clifftop. The specials continue like this through the whole film.

However, the plot is a little thin at times. For example, after the wizards with the 200' tall elephants are defeated by the good king Uther, his brother(? actually, I'm not sure if it is his brother or just someone else) sacrifices his wife to something like Ursula the Mermaid under the castle and organises a coup - turning into a giant 'fire knight' to go after King Uther, his wife and baby Arthur. After he defeats Uther, Arthur floats away (and Vortigern just lets him go) and the sword skewers Uther, turns him to stone and sinks into the water - again while Vortigern just watches.

Merlin is mentioned but doesn't make an appearance and young Arthur is trained instead by the tough streets of Londinium (in a rather nice montage).

Some of these jarring differences help make this a watchable film, but they often seem to trip over themselves, especially as many things are never explained.

I gave it six which might seem a little harsh, but the end of the film seemed a little rushed (although the BIG special effects are all there).

The Walking Dead: Service (2016) Season 7, Episode 4

Venturing into real fantasy without a hope of realism

[2/10 · 13 July 2017]

Can someone explain to me why someone hasn't killed Negan before this episode? I mean his lieutenants seem loyal but don't really have much incentive to be, especially considering what we've seen of Dwight and I think it's Fat Tom? Negan doesn't take his own personal safety all that seriously either. He walks up to the gate himself, and while he has guys around him, a marksman (or woman) could have easily picked him off. So, if he's like this all the time, why hasn't someone killed him yet? Either one on his lieutenants, feeling a little shorted, or someone grabbed and enslaved but fast and sneaky. It was President Kennedy who said that he could be killed and that "all a man needs is a willingness to trade his life for mine." Surely in the Walking Dead there are several willing to take that deal.

Rick seems to think that Negan has some invincible army that, even if you killed Negan, would just promote one of their own to seamlessly fill the role. This is patently not true, as what would happen is twelve would quickly proclaim themselves 'The true, new Negan," and begin killing the others to determine their dominance.

I'm sorry, but I just can't believe that no one would have killed Negan within a year of him assuming power - he's got a lousy structure and power base. Walking Dead is descending into nonsense as we still haven't had an explanation of how Negan knew where they were going and when they would be there.

Arrival (II) (2016)

A hole ridden plot stretched too thin

[4/10 · 29 March 2017]

I had several problems with this film, but I think the biggest was something I found out from someone who loved it - it was based on a short story. Yep, not enough plot to stretch out for a two hour movie. To say the pace is a little slow is an understatement of the highest order - things move so slowly in some spots as to make glaciers look at their speedometer to see if they are speeding. This explains all the long silences, the endless scenes of people looking off into the distance maybe at the shell (what they call the alien spacecraft - why, never explained like so much of this movie).

However, there are some good parts to the movie. The CGI is really well done, the aliens themselves are fairly well conceived - I would have liked it if they actually floated and perhaps came from a gas-giant environment but this is sort of spoiled by one scene. I thought the alien language wasn't too bad. It was different enough from Earth languages to seem alien - although again later when it is revealed to have a 'spoken form' that the heroine somehow understands the shine is somehow taken off.

The second biggest problem I have with the film is the premise that our heroine can look into the future because she immersed herself in the language. This led to a second plot that is essentially a mother-daughter story which didn't interest me in the slightest. I swear, I would have found a documentary on toe fungus of greater interest. To make this worse, this whole story is intersperse throughout the whole film - it starts with a 10 minute montage of this story.

Finally it is presumed that she shares this concept of looking forward and back in time with others and while she doesn't change things in her life, what about her students? Really? Wouldn't at least one of them, try to change a mark they got in class, or stop their mother from being hit by a car, or hell, going all Groundhog Day and changing their approach to a girl they really like until they get it right. There is a saying, "to know the future is to change it," and I will swear to all I consider holy that if I'd known this film would be like this, I wouldn't have watched it.

Conan the Barbarian (2011)

Not eye-bleedingly bad. But will never be a winner.

[5/10 · 18 January 2017]

There is one big problem with this film - its title. If this was called Kilgoth the Swordsman, it would have done a lot better. But as Conan, everyone is going to compare it to the 1982 movie - even worse, its going to be compared with the 1982 movie viewed with eyes of nostalgia. Momoa is certainly a talkier Conan than Swartzenegger ever was. His acting, like the acting of all, isn't actually all that bad; and, nostalgia be damned, I think Momoa was better than Swatzenegger was in 82. Everyone was let down by the script though which should have been a lot better. Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer (the writers) are just not that good and even good actors can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. Another problem is the number of henchmen that Khalar Zym has. Including his daughter, there has to be about eight of them that all have to get their screen time looking badass and then get killed by Conan. I understand that young actors need to get experience but this just seems like a production line. Finally, there is the plot - thanks again Donnelly and Oppenheimer. As far as I can piece it together, Khalar Zym's wife was a powerful sorceress but before she could rule the world with her husband and turn him into a god, she was captured and burned at the stake while he watched. He then heard the rumours of this mask that brings back the dead, the pieces being held by the various barbarian tribes that killed the guy that last used it - so Zym goes on a big quest beating up and then recruiting barbarians (don't know how that works) to get the mask back. The last piece is in Conan's village and Conan's dad, decides not to join so dies but saves his some. Meanwhile Zym, spends 20 years looking for the pure blood of someone, which naturally enough turns out to belong to a hot girl; while Conan levels up and spends the same time looking for Zym. Strange that they both find each other at the same time and Conan ends up with the girl, so Zym has to come to him. Despite all this, it is sort of entertaining with the large number of action sequences one expects from this sort of film. It's fun for an evening where you have nothing to do and don't want something deep.

Hawaii Five-0: Umia Ka Hanu (2016) Season 6, Episode 13

Worst episode ever

[2/10 · 7 November 2016]

Okay, let's say that we have the top three most wanted criminals in a building. I jump in and in the process of apprehending them all, I shoot and kill a 10 year old. Should I be forgiven this crime because I caught other criminals? This is the sort of thing we get with this episode of Hawaii Five-O. Lou assaults a police officer, kidnaps him, threatens him repeatedly, destroys his property (by taking a sledgehammer to it) and then kidnaps this cop's girlfriend as well. Then, because this cop stole money years ago, it appears that there are no repercussions to this. At very least, the girlfriend should be able to press charges against him! Now some may think that this is a small thing, but shows like this give people ideas that if they are right, then they too can get away with doing things like this. Were I the cop coming to arrest the thieving police officer, I'd be putting Lou in cuffs at the same time. You don't break laws to enforce laws. I did give this 2 stars though because the other story wasn't terrible.