puppyzwolle Reviews

Herd (III) (2023)

It secretly is a 9 star movie wrapped in a 5 star movie.

[9/10 · 30 October 2023]

I wanted to write something about this movie. Not this piece. But about how it seems like a bad movie with badly written flat characters. I mean a caricature of a redneck would be more fleshed out than this ladies man we get to meet. And then it hit me. It is intentional. This director made a movie within a movie. Like the main characters stumbled across a diner theater group with live ammo acting out a zombie story.

And my initial 5 star review (while watching this movie) became a 9 star. Ingenious movie with a most gut-wrenching twist I have seen in a very, very long time.

And I surely will get responses like "What is he on about?" but this is one of those cult classics in the making. And if anything it sure isn't boring.

The Kill Room (2023)

If Guy Ritchie and Quintin Tarantino had a child......

[8/10 · 8 October 2023]

... If ... Than this could be a movie that kid would make. It has all the signature moves and actors, all the cuts and speed. But... it's not to the standard his parents would have raised this.

It's a cookie cutter clone that fails it's intellectual heritage by missing to be original. And following a recipe could work. The actor are there. The story is bonkers enough. Cinematography works. But the flow is choppy. The editing is on par with any Tarantino or Ritchie movie but the chemistry between the actors seems filtered, flat and it really does not feel it's due to the actors.

All in all a entertaining movie that does not bore a minute. Give it a shot.

The Machine (I) (2023)

If you like his comedy this review will not be necessary.

[9/10 · 22 June 2023]

Yje worst a movie can do is be boring. No such thing here. The story is the story. The MacGuffin is the MacGuffin. Nothing special there. But the special effects and transitions are very good and man do Bert and Mark have great chemistry. A joy to watch.

Got to point out though that it's not without flaws. The action scenes are meh. Matrix but not that impressive. Plot twists are lazy. Some events are just illogical. Like finding a hole behind a refurbished wall? Why would there still be a hole there let alone stuff in it?

But in the spirit of the movie it's all forgivable. You got to love this movie for what it is. A dumb piece of entertainment that is totally in line with "The Machine"-story but better looking.

If you like his comedy this review will not be necessary. You'll watch it anyway. To everybody else? WHERE WERE YOU!?!?!

Spirited (2022)

Most Canadian movie ever

[9/10 · 28 November 2022]

Love it. Did not expect to, but I did.

Remember hating on Will Ferrel? To obnoxious? Remember Ryan always 'acting' the same guy? You know? In this movie it works. Really. I would even call it impressive.

Ferrel is not as obnoxious because he really tries to win over 'pretty boy' Reynolds. And Reynolds on his part .... yeah still Reynolds but IT WORKS. It's not original and man do they keep pointing it out But they do it masterfully... the pointing out as well as rehashing the tropes. The cringe is still there but somehow strangely on point. Kudos to the person who wrangled them.

They might have put in there a nod to Monthy Python for the jokes about bursting into song every few minutes. But the songs are very Lin-Manuel Miranda. Very catchy and reasonably performed. That means that Will and Ryan perform themselves and they are no great singers. The remaining cast is Broadway all the way.

I'm certain this musical will replace many a seasons performance in many schools. Specially "Good Morning" will be a great hit.

So should you watch it? Let me give you three reasons.

#1 It's the best Christmas movie I have seen in years.

#2 It left me with a big smile. Not talking jokes. I mean It left me glowing.

#3 If you ever, EVER, loved Ryan or Will for anything? You'll love this.

But you got to love singing because that,s the kind of thing this is.

The King's Man (2021)

Anti war + Beautiful violence? And it works.

[9/10 · 9 February 2022]

I expected a summer blockbuster type movie. Man, was I pleasantly surprised. Good plot with actual historic event bent to fit the narrative. No. Not in an 'alternate universe'' or 'make it fit the story'-way but actually creative spy stuff that could have been actually how it happened. If (BIG if) the world could be as organized as that.

Food for thought *and* mindless entertainment in one movie. Very well done.

The Requin (2022)

Such a shame/

[5/10 · 9 February 2022]

The movie is predictable and flat. CGI is a bit to 'stylized' to impress or to scare. So why the 5 stars? Alicia Silverstone does a bang up job and even in the overacting is a rather convincing victim of circumstance. I assume that is where the variety in ratings comes from.

Kill Mode (2020)

Not boring but not good.

[7/10 · 25 June 2020]

Plot holes big enough to view an IMAX-movie through. Without spoilering anything, if that is possible in a movie like this, I can say that there are no surprises. It leans heavily on blender CGI and to be fair most is pretty decent. The animation though is rusty and unconvincing. The opening scene shows air-boats arriving at speeds so fast that the look out has not even gotten of off his ass and the enemy already air-dropped inside the complex....... These kinds of time-dilation-events happen all the time and time-dilation is not part of the plot. Many events and "cause and effect' elements don't seem to line up in any logical way. Like taking all the time in tyhe world to exit a building when being chased. People disappearing from the scene. Like guards that had all the time to' cut them off at the pass' just don't. The camera shakes are sometimes so heavy, even when the actors are not running, I thought I was getting a epileptic attack. The lighting is over the top saturated and lacks andy finesse. The acting isn't half bad though some weapons training would have been helpful. Shooting with one eye closed? It may have been a joke but that for sure would be the worst one. The list goes on.

But there is good stuff. The jokes are cringy dad-jokes but spot on. Loved the interaction between the characters. I watched the whole movie and it did not bore me one bit. It was entertaining and shows promise.

1917 (2019)

Masterful, Im in awe.

[10/10 · 25 January 2020]

This is the movie all previous and following war movies will be judged by. Painfully gritty heartwarmingy soft at times to next kick you in the vulnerables. Cinematic masterpiece. Absolutely will not let you go.

The Professor (I) (2018)

Sweet, glorious end.

[9/10 · 19 May 2019]

Well written story where wit and seriousness all mix into a feast. Depp is great as a man on his last spurt to make his life what it's supposed to have been.

This is the 'Poet Society' of this decade. It is 'Groundhog Day' except it is not about infinite chances but just that one chance. This is 'Stairway to Haven' preformed by Heart (look it up). If you saw more in these than just a bit of fun you will really, really like 'The Professor'.

See You Yesterday (2019)

Middelroad between a great movie and a trainwreck

[5/10 · 18 May 2019]

Commendable effort but failed to be what it could be. The what if scenario when the odds are stacked against you no matter what. But mixing this topic with this amount of flawed Scooby Doo science? It totally misses the mark. A teen movie tackling some heavy subjects then falling back into technobabble totally takes you out of the true movie.

The acting is decent and enjoyable. The message is clear and poignantly painful. No matter what you do the police or a robber will shoot you... or your friend. There is no escaping this. But there is some extreme lazy writing where these kids come up with solutions for time travel, Magically have all components lying around and just everything works.... except the actual plan they do it for. Black lives matter. But he underlying truth is even sadder. If she had not had that kerfuffle with that boy, her brother would not have intervened. He then would not have left the bake out and would have been safe..... But that is the theme of the movie. Nobody is safe... nobody can be saved.

This movie would have been great if the peppy fantasy start would have switched to the gritty movie it was at moments. Diving back in the unrealistic building sequences makes no sense and takes away and out of the story.

Stan & Ollie (2018)

Best buddy movie ever.

[9/10 · 19 March 2019]

This is as true as a biography can get. Coogan and Reilly have the chemistry. The story is simple but gets you. Straight at the heart stings. True to the style of Laurel and Hardy where it counts. Even the reenactments are amazingly close. Yes, they actually pull off performing like seasoned vaudevillians. Kudos.

In short: Best biopic of this century so far.

Time Freak (2018)

Classic 80's RomCom revisited

[8/10 · 7 January 2019]

Nothing wrong with this. Solid story, solid romance and bromance. Nothing spectacular either. Predictable to a point but hilariously so. Nice spin on the classic 80's romcoms.

Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)

Timetravel done right? Or ...

[9/10 · 29 December 2018]

Confusing, sidestepping, fourth wall breaking... (or are they?) A glimps into the world of psychosis packaged in a narrative that keeps shifting gear. It is either the best psycho drama or the best time travel movie I have seen. And maybe even both... can't make up my mind because it is still spinning. Inventive and never a dull moment. A must see for everyone wants more more MORE.

Hotel Artemis (2018)

The good, the bad and the ugly.

[7/10 · 27 September 2018]

The good: Dave Bautista and Jodie Foster. I mean WOW. Why Bautista did not get top billing is not so much a mystery but it is a shame. Also the gritty feel of this whole out/updated hotel is perfect. Excellent production.

The bad: The perfect set up. The (near) perfect cast and messing that up is bad. Really bad. Half way through all the surprises were done and no tension was built up.

The ugly: Such a miserably standard development of events. Not a single original idea or twist in the whole script. Character development of a Sesame street level. It simply becomes a pretentious ball of kumbaya and unwarranted self sacrifice. The only thing missing was a twin brother returning from the dead...but that would at least be some twist. Ugly AF

Having said that. Just for the joy of seeing Bautista and Foster act? Yeah go see it. It is a meh movie and rarely you get to see two actors lift a bad movie to a reasonable level this epicly.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Ken Bran does it again.

[9/10 · 7 February 2018]

Kenneth Branagh is famous for recreating theater on film. That is exactly what he did with a story. But sadly this wasn't a play but a mental exercise. And it shows. All info and events need to be crammed in an acceptable runtime.

The cast of 14 main characters makes for a fragmented story that is hard to follow even if you know the story and know what to pay attention to. It works in a book and will get you in a zen state (yes there is scientific proof that actually happens) but in a movie the mind wanders and.....that is a bad thing.

The film is visually stunning, the actor are great in the limited time they get to shine..... I even like this version of the Belgian detective that is (for me) a far cry from the man portrayed in the book.

It is a valiant effort that tries to stay true to the dry story telling of Agatha Christy. It works but for some this may be to Shakespearean to enjoy. I for one await the 4+ hour directors cut where all the left out pieces.

Coco (I) (2017)

Grab "palomitas de maiz" and tissues.

[9/10 · 4 February 2018]

A sob story about family. And if it's not your thing? It's not your thing. Sure the story is predictable and fails to have any new twists. But does that really matter? It still is by far much better than many movies we have seen this year. It totally grabs you if you let it. Even more than Frozen did.

Graphically awe inspiring. Animation is, as expected good.... except for Mama Coco. She is absolutely endearing and will make you cry. That one scene (you'll know when it is there) is brilliantly done. I congratulate the people that made her come to life. Stunning work.

I doubt this will be in the top 5 of best Pixar movies. But as a movie that shows a cultural phenomenon in such wonderful cinematography this is a must see film.

S.M.A.R.T. Chase (2017)

Haphazard stew.

[2/10 · 2 February 2018]

The menu made it look pretty good. All the right ingredients. Good lead actor, convincing cinematography, pretty standard but proven plot, an obvious budget. This should at least have been a decent movie...... It isn't. Bloom is trying but the editing makes him look like a bad actor. It almost seems like the editor got stuck with to little footage. Not even music cues are lined up or relevant. And still there are lots of great shots and interesting camera angles.... they just don't serve a purpose the way they are edited. They are just there because they look good...on paper. And the director wasn't sure what 'taste' the movie should have because it is all over the place but never clear. Dramatic scenes are bland. Action scenes are filled with action but not engaging. Dialogue is not great and mainly filler. Again; the ingredients were there. They just forgot to hire a good cook.

Bullet Head (2017)

Reservoir dogs... with actual dogs

[8/10 · 9 December 2017]

Quintin Tarantino gave this advice to aspiring movie makers; "Make Reservoir Dogs. Make a f-n kick-ass movie." And that is what Paul Solet did. Using similar setup, similar cast, similar amounts of blood and similar development. I seriously doubt there is any coincidence here.

Is it as good as Reservoir Dogs? No, the suspense is watered down and predictable. But the movie does keep you entertained and the acting is better than many movies released lately.

Not a must see but still a really enjoyable movie about dog people.

Singularity (I) (2017)

Singularly..... daft.

[3/10 · 4 November 2017]

Where to begin? The whole production is so clean I suspected it to be a hint that is was all in the mind of one of the protagonists. The two antagonists where watching from the same camera angles as we were. If they were looking for something and they already had this amazing surveillance.... it *had* to be a plot element.....right?

And this tech Calia has. When did this EMP get developed? And when built? And how was it produced in a post-apocalyptic environment? And why did that EMP not knock out 'Andrew-bot'? So must be a plot-element right?

The lack of attention to a potential mortal wound. That could wait until the next day. Only to reveal a metal chest where she snuggled against without noticing?

And who was so bright to bury a spaceship to get to Aurora and in 92 years these 'kids' are the first and yet there is a completely colonized planet that somehow has escaped the attention of this super AI. How did they get there? And how was that a secret?

Not to mention all the clean clothes. Clean streets, obviously used train tracks, brand new 92 year old camera, a battery that keeps going and going.. to name but a few. And the best she has is a crossbow?

I seriously expected this all to be glitches in the matrix..... It would have been nice but turns out the writer and production designer just phoned it in.

We enjoyed bitching at this movie. That made it worth the watch and three stars...... but frankly? It would not get a passing grade for a first year movie academy project.

The Dead Inside (2011)

Betz is best

[9/10 · 30 January 2013]

Money makes movies says Hollywood. Sure it helps to have a shipload of cash but money makes nothing. Creative people with ideas make movies. And in this case there is about a creative idea a minute. You think you are watching a funny movie it twists left to horror, twists right again to make it a musical to take another turn to make it highly philosophical to go back to classical drama.... and never is it out of place. How weird is that? Just two people experiencing the end of the world as they know it.

Granted it is not everybody's cup of tea. So if you want a Hollywood blockbuster with a standard story you most definitely will be disappointed. The special makeup is pretty good but no limbs will be flying in this movie.

This is what history will be calling 'a classic cult movie on par with Rocky Horror'.

Hansel & Gretel (2013 Video)

This movie deserves a horrible death

[1/10 · 29 January 2013]

When somebody is really hurt, I mean there is slight panic, and you find a house, what is the first thing you say when familiar face opens the door? Think about it. In this movie the answer is "I did not know you lived here. Bla blah blah blah...Oh by the way: My brother here is bleeding to death."

This movie is embarrassing. The sound effects are so familiar. The story beyond predictable. But the food is good.

If you want a boo-movie this is the one for you.

The acting wasn't all that bad... Well it was but the script did not give them anything to work with. It feels like they all read a summary of a story and acted it out in somebodies backyard.

I know the requirement is to write 10 lines about a movie but that is because calling it by a 4 letter word would be to obvious.

Tears of Steel (2012)

Great effects and way to short.

[9/10 · 19 October 2012]

As a movie it has great shortcomings. The story and acting are half descent for an amateur night but sure are not up to the standard of the production. The story is simple and well structured but misses a strong rhythm and even for the short 12 minutes it has a slow pace with many repeat shots and recurring camera angles even when it goes into 'full action mode'.

The design and production get a A++. It looks totally awesome and the animation is superb. But Like Disney company had seemed to have forgotten after Walt died; Great skill in making the movie is just a tool to tell a story.

It all is clearly a showcase for those awesome design 'skillz'. That is why they still get a 9 out of 10 and I would classify this as a must see event.

Besides it's free under Creatieve Commons 3.0 Attribution license. How can you NOT like this?