bjorksjoga Reviews

The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! (2010)

Good for fans of the show

[7/10 · 23 April 2010]

The movie was disgusting. I loved it. The show was not intended for everyone, just fans of the hilarity of filth. The characters were true to themselves. I've read complaints that it was extra dirty just because it was uncensored but anyone who watched the DVDs saw it uncensored already. The reason I didn't give it a higher rating was because of the lack of Clara. If you were a fan of the television show, or if you like filthy humor see it. The special features are worth it, the explanation by the writers as to what happened was great. The other downfall of the movie however was that the characters are split up for a large part of the time. They are funniest together. Oh, and the suck my taint girl is annoying. The most subtle humor were the jokes about I.S.R.A.E.L. I miss the show. I wish it would come back on the air.

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic (2005)

No holds barred

[7/10 · 12 June 2006]

Sarah Silverman has a witty repertoire of jokes shocking to even the most well rounded stand up comedy fan. Most of her jokes have a racial edge, but no one is left unscathed. Black, Gay, Female, Male, Asian, all will be mocked with unscrupulous honesty. But the most mockery is given to Sarah herself, whether it is obvious to most has yet to be seen. If you are a fan of the more peaceable things in life like god, familial love, all things "7th Heaven" this film is not for you. Included with the stand up comedy are pseudo-music videos to songs as insulting as anything she says a-melodically. On the downside, her comedic timing does not seem as refined as it could be. Sarah focuses on getting as many laughs in as possible, throwing out punchlines left and right instead of taking the route of comedians such as Eddie Izzard who build you up for a knock out punchline, finding it more gratifying to wait for the big laugh. Overall, it was an extremely enjoyable movie.

Tripping the Rift (2004–2007)

Filthy! I love it!

[8/10 · 29 May 2006]

I can't believe how nasty this show is! If I may, a scene from the show :Six is forced to give a planet's leader a massage: (Chode to Six) "Where did you get that money." (Gus to Six) "As if we have to ask. Breath mint?" I must admit that I have only seen the DVDs, which I believe are unrated, but the filth, and the non stop innuendos are enough to make a seasoned South Park fan blush (although, I know that no show could be South Park nasty). This a must see for any fan of the adult humor cartoons such as South Park, Oblongs, Drawn Together, and anything on Adult Swim. The characters are all very easily defined, but also hilarious. There is the nasty perverted captain Chode. The slut of the ship Six, who is a sex robot, and the ships science office (an easy juxtaposition right?). Whip, the idiot teenager. Gus, the flamboyantly gay robot who can't admit it. And T'Nuk, the big fat b**ch. T'nuk is always on the lookout for love, the captain wants sex and money, Six simply wants to be respected and not used for sex (although she basically does nothing but, and her gigantic breasts are always on display), and Gus wants people to think he is straight, as well as get some attention. Definitely a show you are going to want to watch.

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

You'll be Blown Away! (by special effects and big action that is)

[7/10 · 28 May 2006]

This is the kind of movie you should't wait to see. There are a million surprises, that any comic book or movie fan should not allow to have spoiled for them. After the delicate care Bryan Singer used for both "X-Men", and "X2: X-Men United" I was somewhat fearful of a change in director. My fears were definitely warranted. Although I definitely enjoyed the movie, it felt extremely rushed, I truly enjoyed the elements from both Joss Whedon's "Gifted" storyline, and the Dark Phoenix saga. Overall, I left the theater feeling full of X-Citement (hah!) but upon reflection I couldn't help but feeling something was missing. Most negative comments I have read pertain to the overuse of special effects and the misuse of parts of the story. However, in order to create a film, especially one based on a comic book which has weaved an delicately balanced continuity (barely able to stand) over the last forty-three years, only certain elements can be chosen. One example is that, a love interest may be switched in order for it to fit the storyline. However, if I must make one angry statement, there are too many characters that are unnamed, unused, unnecessary, underplayed, and given no story. There are a multitude of main characters, that don't even get names. As a comic book fan, it is a bonanza of "who was that supposed to be? and Oh, wow, they even stuck them in?! Hey, that's Psylocke!" But as a movie fan, if I didn't know the story of the film, I might be saying, "Who was the Asian chick with the purple hair, and why did she blend into the wall?" Many have blamed it all on the film not being directed by Bryan Singer, well I'll give you this question. Is it not his fault since he chose to leave for "Superman Returns"? (Which by the way looks like it's going to suck.)

Drawn Together (2004–2007)

Show for a new generation

[10/10 · 23 April 2006]

Since Buying the DVDs of the first season I have been watching them incessantly, cracking up every time. This is a show for a generation of open minded comedy lovers who aren't offended by a racist remark (racism exists, lets not hide from it, lets make fun of how ridiculous it truly is). The same for mocking a paraplegic, or the mentally handicapped (usually trying not to look is more obvious than looking, and acting like someone is invisible is more insulting than staring at a missing leg, or a wheelchair). Taking this show's humor with a grain of salt is all that is necessary to enjoy the kinds of jokes we keep to ourselves, that way "Drawn Together" keeps in line with shows like Family Guy and South Park.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

astoundingly brilliant, somewhat disturbing. A must see.

[10/10 · 23 November 2005]

This was a film I had planned to watch for an extremely long time, it was lent to me by an ethics professor and I was blown away. I was astounded. Never could I have imagined how visually and sonically pleasing Hedwig would be all at once, yet surprisingly disturbing. And this is coming from a homosexual man who has spent an enormous amount of time around persons who have had sex changes, and innumerable drag queens. Hedwig also gave a startling new look at the collapse of (and years previous to) the Berlin wall. EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU WON'T LIKE THIS FILM SEE IT ANYWAY, you will be surprised. What I took that was even more unexpected than anything else, was great joy in the songs. Each song, particularly "The Origin Of Love", and "Angry Inch" were songs I would listen to without prompting from the film.

Showgirls (1995)

like a black hole

[4/10 · 5 June 2005]

This could easily have been one of the worst movies that I was ever unable to turn away from. When I finally watched this movie it was edited on VH1. Still it sucked me in like it was some kind of black hole full of very poor acting and the most predictable storyline the history of film. She ends up being a reformed prostitute (SHOCK!), revenge ensues after she has become that which she hates (DISMAY!) yet somehow they managed to spend $45,000,000 to make this movie! It is hard for me to believe that in future generations Elizabeth Berkley will be remembered for this film as opposed to the sweetheart she played on Saved By the Bell. Not surprisingly she has not had many other roles after this film. ANYWAY. If you find yourself late at night flipping channels, maybe you'll find slight enjoyment in comparing parts of this movie's plot to good movies they have been used in. I give it a 4.

Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)

This movie was so bad I think it gave me cancer

[1/10 · 21 September 2004]

I loved Legally Blonde. But Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde deserves no stars, and hopefully ruined the career of the writer. This movie was an insult to ditsy blondes. I don't like the idea of testing on animals, but to not care for any other reason than because you want one to come to your wedding is ludicrous. The evil angry judge suddenly loses her angry demeanor because they shared a sorority. Gag me with a spoon. The OTHER evil angry judge suddenly loses his angry demeanor because his dog is gay and so is Elle's dog. Sally Field plays an idiot bad guy who goes good with very little persuasion. Even incorporating the "snap cup" into the senate.

I remember when most of the players on this show were respected actors. They lost that for me.

But.... there was one bright spot. As always let us never forget the amazing Jennifer Coolidge. Jennifer wherever you are, I Love You. You crack me up like no other.

Futurama (1999– )

I watch every day, literally

[20 June 2004]

I love futurama soooo much. I watch it nightly on adult swim, as well as watching the dvd's every night. I was out of town for a week and felt as if a terrible void had been left in my soul because i could not watch my nightly futurama. I bought season one on VCD over a year before the dvd's began coming out, and have seen it well over 300 times. I love it. Whoever at fox made the decision to cancel this amazing show, and what i believe to be the greatest cartoon in the history of television, has some karma coming to get them.

Futurama (1999– )

in response to victor field's comment

[28 December 2003]

I don't know where this person gets off ranting and raving about how bad futurama. I find it to be even more likeable than any other cartoon with the exception of the simpsons, and have yet to find an episode that I can't watch repeatedly and not get tired of it. And now that it has been cancelled, thank god for dvd and adult swim.

besides, what did the british ever contribute to television anyway (just kidding, I'm a die hard faulty towers fan)

X2 (2003)

By far the BEST comic book movie of all time.

[10/10 · 2 May 2003]

I just saw the movie, first showing, first day.

I went in with high expectations, and the BLEW ME AWAY.

I am planning on going back to see it tomorrow, and as many more times as possible.

As an avid comic book reader, I am always disappointed by comic book movies, but in this one they layed the groundwork with the fabulous first X-Men movie, and took my breath away with one of the few sequels that have beaten their predecessors.

Now, having said that, as a movie fan and for all those critics out there that poo poo a movie simply because everyone else likes it, I will say that unless you have seen the first film, there are a few plot points that aren't going to make total sense to you, but with the introduction of a few new characters, the story of the first film will be told to those who missed out on the first by these new characters hearing the story.

If you miss this movie......

Just don't miss it.

Paul

Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)

Laugh out loud, you'll feel her.

[10/10 · 25 January 2003]

This movie made Renee Zellweger my official favorite actress. Any actress who will put on weight for a movie is amazing, but one that will show you the cellulite in her thighs as she puts on "gross stomach holding in panties, popular with grannies the world over" is a goddess. I felt every word coming out of her mouth as if I had lived it. Thank you Renee, and whoever cast her in this delicious role.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (2002– )

Meredith is wonderful

[3 January 2003]

I didn't care for Regis Philbun as host. He seemed to make the contestants feel so uncomfortable. However, Meredith Viera is a wonderfully funny woman, and she is very comfortable with the contestants, and her smile is as warm as the noon time sun. So I hope that the show lasts for a long time, and Meredith stays on my television at 8:30/9:30 C until she decides that it is time to move on.

Dancer in the Dark (2000)

Wonderful/Weep inducing

[10/10 · 3 January 2003]

Probably the most beautiful movie I have ever seen, but I refuse to ever see it ever again. I adored every moment of this film. Bjork was more than divine in her portrayal of Selma. If you've seen the movie, I recommend picking up the E.P. Selmasongs that was the semi-soundtrack to the film. To continue, I cried for a half an hour at the end of the movie. Only watch it if you are ready to cry.

The Juniper Tree (1990)

She is my love

[10/10 · 3 January 2003]

Disturbing, but beautiful. I loved what this movie portrayed. I love bjork I wish she hadn't chosen to quit acting after "Dancer In The Dark." But I respect her decisions.

C.H.U.D. (1984)

Second best b horror flick of the 80's

[7 July 2002]

Next to "Killer Clowns from Outer Space", "C.H.U.D." is the best horrible '80's horror film. A cast of B actors, who actually were names, a super-campy plot, and horribly un-realistic monsters. This is one movie that actually has it all. A must have for any video library!!!