Change Your Image
CharlieSykes
Reviews
The Ten (2007)
awful awful awful
goodness, what a heinous turd this movie was. i'm a fan of 'wet hot...' and 'the Baxter' but good grief... this movie was just an exercise in lunacy... if only they could turn that into gold. not even one faint giggle. the crowd was silent; one could hear crickets sleeping. i wish i could get my time and money back. even paul rudd... usually impressive as far as delivery is concerned, was lifeless and his delivery was nonexistent. good luck to this troupe of actors and writers in their next attempt. i value others' opinions, but i can't believe anyone could actually enjoy this film at all. i beseech you who gave 'the ten' more than a star... what didn't i get?
The Good Shepherd (2006)
Rubbish
i had no idea the CIA's history was so boring. any life that this film could have had saw its summary execution within the first act. the only thing that kept me from walking out was the expectation that it would get better. it was a turd. anjelina jolie is now on the charlie's worst actress list. she was horrendous. the script was pedestrian in its flow, originality and overall conception.
one of the lamest lines in recent memory came from the newly appointed CIA director in the 3rd act of the film: "i was asked why there is no 'the' before CIA, and i responded: do you put 'the' before God?" 2/10 1 point for it not being directed by David lynch 1 point for joe pesci's 5 minutes of screen time.
Mean Creek (2004)
Wonderful Breath of Fresh Air
With an all-child cast, it bears resemblance to "stand by me." A group of kids plot to pay the school bully back for years of abuse. They take him on a boat trip. If you want more, go see it. It was the best film I've seen this year. Throughout the duration of this classic, one element stuck out for me: Carly Schroeder. She is going to be a star and a half. She blows that annoying cherry blossom, Dakota Fanning, away. Rory Culkin, Macauly's little brother, was just perfect for the part of a naive kid, susceptible to his older brother's overbearing testosterone. Go see this film, because you will talk about it for hours on end. Perfect dinner movie. Take your girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other. Kids under 13, though portrayed in the film, just aren't ready for the material of this film, so don't bring your children.
American Splendor (2003)
Certainly Not a Classic By Any Means...
a film about the "realist", autobiographical cartoon writer, harvey pekar, whose boring, impish personality was immortalized by famed 'fritz the cat' artist, r. crumb. this film had it's moments, i'll admit that. but in all honesty, it was a big dose of "egh". a whocares? movie in the same vein as 'about schmidt', this 1 hour 45 min film by two precoscious directors has accomplished something. it made a fantastic representation of a boring and cold life that no one would want to be stuck with. a comic freak might find this interesting, but i don't think i'm too blunt in saying that this film doesn't appeal to a very big audience. if you're bored and feel like staying that way, see paul giamatti in the biopic 'american splendor'.
-cornelius
Camp (2003)
scary as hell
if you've been brought up on a lot of homocultural showtunes, and you love children being exploited then you'll love CAMP. it's a modern day FAME taken to summer camp. it wasn't brain surgery, but it was an incredibly funny film.
The Hunted (2003)
Shame on Friedkin
there are so many great summaries of the plot on here already. this was a terrible film. pointless. a take on rambo and u.s. marshalls. there's even a line that goes something like "you go after my boy you'll need a lot of body bags." whether that's an homage, or not, it weakens the film's originality. French Connection, Exorcist, Rules of Engagement were all Friedkin's finest, but this film is garbage in comparison. Cinematically stimulating however, so if you're just a fan of the composition, go to see this film.
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
punch-drunk GARBAGE
this film sucks. a poor man's david lynch. a degenerate, immature, boring, film. boogie nights i loved. but its all downhill from there for pt anderson. you must be on some serious acid to find this film even vaguely amusing, or intelligent.
Insomnia (2002)
Garbage
Insomnia is boring, badly scripted, badly acted, melodramatic trash. Al Pacino plays a detective with some phony non-italian name which doesn't suit him, who has arrived in some beautiful Alaskan village to solve a murder. Yes that famous, emotional don corleone (its tough being a rich mafioso) is back better than ever as an emotional cop. I don't know what was more irritating, Pacino's huge sacks of age under his eyes, or the sophomoric script he's reading from. Hillary Swank also appears, playing a fighto woman cop ready to solve the case reminding me of some second rate Nancy Drew, which funny enough, was mentioned in the film. Her acting was amateurish, and i'm sure she was trained by the best or whatever kind of shit they can give an oscar winning actress. i remember her from buffy the vampire slayer, in which she seemed more relaxed and less like someone trying to be a "good" actress. Robin Williams in a dramatic role just doesn't work. Finally, the director. This memento man, who does wonders with the camera. well, i was wondering what exactly that is. i've seen the following and memento: both shit. and now this...what's the big deal? Is it his filters? his lighting? i can't imagine it being his ability to direct actors because this film exemplifies bad direction of the actors. its not that hard to film a beautiful image, especially in this film's case in beautiful icy alaska. Christopher Nolan is no great director. Just watch this film, and you'll see. He's just an excuse for "film buffs" to say "gee, that's great art." Its these same "buffs" who appreciate that garbage David Lynch creates. As far as i see it, Stanley Kubrick was enough as far as beautiful direction with no other purpose is concerned.
See this films if you want, but its garbage.
Cornelius NYC