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unclehugo
Reviews
Street Trash (1987)
No Bums Allowed
Can anybody seriously dislike a movie starring R. L. Ryan of The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke'Em High and Eat and Run? Can anyone dislike a movie featuring Tony Darrow of Who Do I Gotta Kill? and Goodfellas? Can anybody refrain from busting his (or her) gut during the final song of the film, the cover version of Frankie Boy's all time favorite entitled We do Things My Way? Does anybody know about any other film featuring an overweight necrophiliac salvage yard owner, a homosexual dog, crazed Vietnam vets, melting bums, mobsters, hit men, toxic booze, and a killer soundtrack? A few years ago, I fell in love with this movie. I purchased the first edition of the DVD from Synapse, with two original stickers enclosed that I used to create my own two bottles of Tenafly Viper. I have watched Street Trash a zillion times since then, and, boy, it never gets old.
Wolfridge (1994)
What could possibly make Andrew Prine appear in this?
It is really difficult to write a spoiler when referring to such movies as Wolf Ridge. What is there to spoil? The plot is an incomprehensible mess, the adventure almost non existent, the action scenes shoddy, the dialogs are laughable or downright bizarre... Of course, then there are Andrew Prine and Wes Studi. It is hard to believe these fine actors turned up in this cinematic atrocity. The cover of my old VHS which was released in The Czech Republic back in 1994 uses the names of these two stars and the picture of Wes Studi to make a good impression. No wonder, The Last of the Mohicans was a big hit at that time. Wes Studi really appears in what amounts to nothing more than a cameo. He plays the part of Tom, a native American, a mystic and a good man who is shot while working on his farm. At first, the culprit of this murder is not apprehended. The main protagonists of the events which ensue are Tom's daughter, Andrew Prine as the main villain and a couple of local hicks including the sheriff- an overweight guy who seems to spend a considerable portion of his screen time at the local barber shop. As I already said, the plot is a mess, but one thing is sure- according to an Indian legend, when somebody dies violently, his spirit takes the form of a wolf, hence the title. Tom becomes one of these restless spirits and in the finale, he claims the life of his killer. Before this happens, the audience is exposed to scenes of people talking, a barber giving the sheriff a close shave, a lot of voice-over narration, some stock footage of genuine wolves, some shooting, and one really bad special effect involving morphing. I also noticed that Michael Berryman,one of my all time favorites, appears in a minor role and fires a rifle a couple of times. I doubt he would be upset about not having this one on his resume. What is even more surprising than the appearances of several big names in this mess is the fact the DVD version of Wolf Ridge was recently released in Germany. I guess the thing must have some bizarre charm. After all, I still have my old VHS of Wolf Ridge in my collection (true, partly due to the fact I was not able to sell it) and I wasted ten minutes of my time writing this review, although I don't know what made me do it. Perhaps it was the same unknown force which made Andrew Prine appear on the set of Wolf Ridge one day.
Burro (1989)
What a weird movie
Renato Pozzetto, the co-star of Paolo Villaggio from the Italian comedy Le Comiche and its two sequels, plays the role of Burro, a country boy and a simpleton, in this weird and extremely hard-to-categorize movie. Although there are several comedic scenes concerning various acts of Burro's tomfoolery, this flick is as far from the likes of Le Comiche, a film paying homage to slapstick comedies, as it can be. Burro, despite being a grown up, still lives with his mother. He's somewhat slower than the others, but certainly not retarded. Burro has a predilection for cinema and goes to the movies every evening, dressed as if he was going to the Sunday services. He has a crush on an actress and he keeps collecting her photos and images until his relationship with the woman from the silver screen results in a bitter disappointment-the actress eventually shows affection for another man in her latest movie. Burro has also some serious psychological issues stemming from his childhood. The husband of Burro's mother was a police officer who became the laughing stock of the whole village after falling asleep next to a dead body he was supposed to guard on a cold night. Burro's dad was deemed a disgrace to the village after being found curled up under one blanket with a corpse. It is revealed later that Burro's mother had an affair with a butcher and one unfortunate episode of Burro's childhood involving an unsuccessful slaughtering of a pig left a mark on the boy. The whole movie is in fact a series of Burro's encounters with various townspeople leading to the recollections of Burro's past. The movie contains several totally confusing scenes, for instance, one night ,Burro participates in a stage show of a magician and hypnotist who convinces Burro to imitate animals in front of the audience. Early on in the movie, a saucer is smashed into pieces- it is one of the saucers with the images of popes that Burro's mother uses in the kitchen. When Burro and his mother try to find out which pope was portrayed on the broken saucer, to their surprise they arrive at the conclusion that the set of saucers is still complete and that a miracle must have occurred. Burro encounters several women, all resembling the actress he is fond of, and the promise of a sexual intercourse is hinted at. Unfortunately, Burro is finally ripped off by a gypsy girl and the only true friend he seems to have is the dog he accidentally ran into during his less than spectacular adventures... This is a weird movie, but also an unpredictable one. Some parts may or may not be more easily deciphered by the Italian audience. The acting is generally good, Renato Pozzetto gives a strong performance as Burro and some heavy emotions are put on display.
Blood Hands (1990)
Hands of justice are always Blood Hands
Blood Hands is a Filipino action flick that one can easily poke fun at. Still, there is certain sense of sincerity in the actions of characters and in the dialogs, even if some of the lines pronounced in the movie are funny as hell. Steve, a young talented kickboxer (played by Sean Donahue) is on his way home to celebrate his birthday. Meanwhile, a bunch of villains, who happen to be (along with every secondary character in this movie) trained kickboxers, cause a disturbance in a grocery store, kill the owner during a fight and then stop by at the house of Steve's parents. The leader of the bunch used to date Steve's mother and this good woman, unaware of any kind of danger, lets the villains in when they ask for some water for the overheated motor of their car. As soon as the scoundrels enter the house, their leader starts to make advances to Steve's mother, who naturally rejects him, saying she's a married woman now. This leads to a violent confrontation, and when Steve's father returns home with a birthday cake, another kickbox fight ensues. Although Steve's old man knows a lot about martial arts, he is outnumbered, severely beaten and thrown through a glass door. His wife receives similar treatment for her lack of cooperation with the thugs. Steve arrives at the scene a few minutes later. First, he discovers his birthday cake splattered on the ground, then the bodies of his parents. Steve is quite understandably embittered and angry. The matters are further complicated by the fact that one of the thugs left a golden medallion from a kickbox championship at the scene of crime. Since it could serve as an important piece of evidence, the owner of the medallion has to go back to the house of Steve's parents with one of his pals. During this expedition, the thugs encounter a detective investigating the case, beat the hell out of him a finally smash his cranium in the swimming pool by the house. After the police proved to be inefficient, Steve decides to take justice in his hands and he starts his own investigation. Thanks to the medallion that was found by his girlfriend, he is able to track down the murderers of his parents and make them pay for their crime, one by one... Apart from plentiful action scenes, often taking place in various industrial settings, there are many amusing moments in this movie, especially when the leader of the gang of kickboxing thugs explains to his cronies why it was necessary to finish off someone every time they kick the living soul out of some unfortunate individual. The dialog between Steve and his girlfriend, who tries to prevent Steve from taking revenge on the culprits and "getting blood on his hands", is highly amusing as well. The famous speech of Bruce,who happens to be the son of one of the villains and who wishes to give up his kickboxing career (because he always gets his butt kicked by Steve), was already mentioned in the previous comment. Blood Hands is a simple movie with enough displays of martial arts to keep the fans of Filipino action flicks, especially those from the distinguished production company Silver Star, entertained.
Brutal Glory (1989)
A quest for glory
This is one of the most entertaining boxing movies I've ever watched. It probably doesn't adhere to The True Story of Kid McCoy as much as the title might lead you to believe, but who cares when the imaginary Kid McCoy punches, cheats and swindles his way through the movie in such a charming fashion. Brutal Glory begins in New York where a kid, presumably a petty thief, gets involved in a street quarrel. Despite his rather feminine appearance, he manages to reshape the faces of his opponents quite well. One of the onlookers watching the fight is a manager taking care of talented boxers. This gentleman called Max Owen (played by Robert Vaughn) encourages the kid to stop by at the gym and try to fight in the ring, as a professional. The kid is not too keen on pursuing a boxing career at first, but then he comes home to find his old man loaded again, and after some paternal abuse (junior hasn't shown up at school for months and the old man calls him a whore and attempts to strip off his pants), the kid decides to leave home for good. He pays a call on the manager, tries his luck in the ring, and commences his quest for glory. As this movie shows, the glory of Kid McCoy was not achieved only through his boxing skills but also through his cunningness enabling him to double-cross and cheat. After winning a series of matches, Kid McCoy gets a job as a sparring partner of the current U. S. boxing champion. Since he temporarily dwells in the champion's villa, Kid manages to make out with his employer's girlfriend and later, he sets up a great swindle. He makes a deal with the champion and some Italian mafia guys, he promises to play the role of a punching bag in a staged match between him and the champion, but then, of course, he breaks his promise, beats the heck out of his opponent and makes the mafia guys lose a lot of money. The mob don't take it too kindly, they want their money back and start to negotiate with Kid's manager by breaking his fingers, one at a time. Kid and Max know when it's time to leave. Kid devises another great plan- to relocate to South Africa. He plans on fighting there under a different name, but his true identity is accidentally revealed shortly after his arrival. It's only a matter of time when Kid and the champion of South Africa face each other in the ring. This time, Kid tricks the newspapers into thinking the South African climate wrecked his health. Everybody is fooled by his charade and Kid is given the label of an outsider by the press. Kid makes another smart move by persuading a tycoon to invest a large sum in the upcoming match and to bet it all against him. In the first several rounds, Kid pretends to be on his last legs, but once all bets are closed, he comes up with a surprise and smashes the champion's face. But that's not all Brutal Glory has to offer. There is also a love story involving Kid and a ballerina who succumbs to McCoy's charisma. After the final scam that allows Kid to pay his debt to the mob, Kid, his girl, his manager, the former South African champion and Kid's sponsor all go on vacation. Since this is a South African movie, they go on a safari. An amazing adventure ensues. Kid has to fight with the most courageous warrior of a native tribe, he earns a respect of the tribe's chief (who has some hilarious lines, such as: "A man has to clean his loins often."), and finally attempts to outrun a bushman. This youthful indiscretion almost costs him a life since he gets stranded in the desert without water. There is also a dash of mysticism added by the creators near the end of this movie, but there's no need to give everything away. Find out for yourself what Brutal Glory is all about. Of course, if you happen to come across this highly entertaining movie anywhere.
Tuono di proiettile (1995)
Italian action flick with little action
John Savage in one of his finer roles, music by Carlo Maria Cordio, exploding bullets and a whole lotta talk. This Italian movie concerns a CIA agent and a gun specialist who developed a new kind of deadly weapon. He invented a special type of bullets functioning as hand-grenades and blasting whatever the target may be into tiny pieces. When one of these bullets with chemical filling finds you, even a bullet-proof anorak can't save you. Of course, you also need a special pistol to use this kind of ammunition. No wonder the inventor of the deadly weapon is afraid that it might cause carnage when used improperly by thugs and crooks, and he keeps a close watch on his invention, taking it with him everywhere he goes. On his way home, carrying his deadly weapon in a small suitcase, he witnesses a street robber threatening and shooting a woman. After one of the weirdest chases I ever witnessed in an action flick, the agent is forced to put to use the deadly weapon. This is the first time the exploding bullets are used in the movie. The mugger is blown to pieces, the newspapers make a scandal out of the unfortunate accident, and the agent is held responsible. His boss, played by John Savage, recommends him to leave The States for some time, until everything settles down and people forget about the whole affair. The agent is told that one wealthy businessman in South America could use his professional advice and help. In other words, he is supposed to work as a kind of bodyguard for Mr. Gonzales. The agent doesn't have much of a choice, so he packs his shirt, swim-trunks and the deadly weapon, and takes a trip to South America. He is unaware of the fact that his pal from CIA made a deal with Mr. Gonzales, who is a big time crook. Gonzales is well informed about the exploding ammunition and is determined to get it, with or without the inventor's consent.... The main problem of this movie is that, despite the title, the deadly weapon is used only twice in the whole movie. In the beginning, when the mugger bursts, and near the end of the flick, when the agent settles the score with the mafia. There is also a subplot involving a band of rebels who attempt to organize a revolt against Gonzales. A girl named Florinda, whose mother used to work for CIA, participates in a revolutionary movement, and she and the agent inevitably become partners. Deadly Weapon might be worth checking out for those who are willing to suffer through some melodramatic dialogs in order to witness the death of Mr. Gonzales. Despite being shot with an explosive bullet, one of Gonzales' goons decides to cling to the leg of his master, and we get to see two dummies blown up in a neat display of pyrotechnics.
Nightfall (1999)
A Seattle Vampire in Salt Lake City
What we have here is an extremely low budget SOV vampire flick. This opus begins with two detectives, Jack Talbot and his new buddy Brian (who looks like Talbot's son) being summoned to a site where two young people were reportedly assaulted and where a girl was abducted last night. The missing girl's boyfriend maintains that he was knocked unconscious by an incredibly strong assailant. The cops find the body of the unfortunate girl minutes later. It is the tenth victim of a mysterious serial killer terrorizing Seattle, and that's not the worst part. There is something strange about this case. Talbot remarks there are no tracks in the sand around the corpse. Brian starts to feel queasy since there is some kind of unpleasant odor in the air, and he has to leave. When he arrives home, Brian has a conversation with his wife. He admits this murder case got to him and he mentions an encounter with a palm-reader who foretold Brian's terrible end with her tarot cards. Since Brian believes in the occult, he arranges an appointment with a lady capable of seeing into the future. This lady (her name in the movie is Ann Vorhees) tells the two detectives the killer they are after is not a human being. Talbot is skeptical, to say the least. The clairvoyant gives Brian the address of a place where, according to her,the killer dwells. Brian pays a visit to the killer,on his own, finds a basement full of dead bodies with pale faces and trickles of blood coming out of their mouths, and falls victim to a long haired vampire resembling a heavy metal fan. Talbot is warned by the clairvoyant that his partner might be in peril. When Talbot enters the killer's house with the help of a special police squad, he finds Brian's dead body, with a pale face and a trickle of blood coming out of his mouth. The psychic provides a valuable piece of information by stating the vampire is not in Seattle anymore. Why is that? The vampire moved to Salt Lake City. A coffin containing the vampire's body appears at the airport and one of the guys manipulating the luggage is immediately killed. The victim is turned into a vampire, comes back to life in the morgue, throws the mortician in the incinerator and then walks out the morgue's door into direct sunlight. The guy's face is instantly dissolved as well as the rest of his body (the only gory effect in the whole movie involves the vampire's face melting and generating smoke). Salt Lake City cops are baffled when they find a burnt corpse outside the morgue and the dead mortician's cremated remains inside. The intervention of Jack Talbot seems to be inevitable. Meanwhile, the vampire kills a couple of drunk kids in their car. The situation starts to get out of hand. Talbot enlists the help of a lady working in the library, he reads a pile of books and, armed with the newly acquired knowledge, he sets out to locate and finish off the supernatural killer... The vampire is destroyed in the finale, he ends up in the incinerator where he belongs. Before this happens, one shower scene takes place, and I can positively say that this particular shower scene frightened me more than any of the vampire killer's evil deeds. The reason behind this may have something to do with the fact that all killings perpetrated by the vampire in Nightfall are completely bloodless, of course, if we exclude the scene where a peculiar reddish substance is splattered all over a glass door.
Evil Altar (1988)
Not as bad as some people may suggest
True, Evil Altar has its share of imperfections and flaws. Some viewers may be turned off by the lack of originality or by a few technical problems, but I certainly wasn't bothered by these imperfections during the screening of this movie. Evil Altar is a story of Reed Weller, a sorcerer, a warlock and Satan's faithful servant who likes to torture and sacrifice unfortunate kidnapped persons in his barn. In the beginning of the movie, even before the titles, Reed Weller assigns an unfortunate boy suspended from the ceiling to collect a hundred and three children that should serve as offerings. Then, the evil man cuts the boy in the chest and informs him that his soul may be taken away any time. Apart from kidnapping and sacrificing people, Reed Weller also likes to boast and he does so by stating his power is absolute. Self-confidence is what I especially liked about this bald-headed character... Thirty years later, the kidnapped boy still roams the countryside in order to collect one hundred and three children. He is known as The Collector and he's ugly as hell. One day, he hits a local kid across the head with a baseball bat, and that's where problems begin. Up to this point, The Collector was supplying Weller with kids from other towns since local kids were of no use to Weller. When a lawyer from the city stops in Weller's town, The Collector strikes again and abducts the lawyer's son. The plot thickens. The Collector is shot down by a local girl during a hunting accident. In his sack, a curious surprise is hidden. The girl's father calls the cops, the local sheriff appears, and the viewer immediately gets the impression something's not right here. Indeed, the sheriff is in a league with Weller, and so is about every man and woman in this town. . As it is revealed later, a number of townspeople made a pact with the devil in exchange for a little favor. These poor fools are now completely under Weller's power. When the sheriff notifies his master of the hunting accident, The Evil Man resurrects The Collector, and sends him out to haunt the girl who had the nerve to mess with Reed Weller. The girl, her brother, the brother's girlfriend and the lawyer searching for his son all have to face the powers of darkness in order to save their souls... Evil Altar offers not only this intriguing plot but also some blood, especially near the end of the movie. In one scene, The Collector visits the poor girl who shot him, pulls a bullet out of his guts a gives it to her as a souvenir. There is also a man with a hatchet embedded in his back, one throat slashing (not too convincing, I'm afraid) and one nice stunt involving The Collector being set afire and thrown into a swimming pool. One complaint about the ending: With regards to Reed Weller's assertions concerning his absolute power, it seems to me that The Evil Man was defeated too easily in the finale.
Lubie nietoperze (1985)
Hardly a horror movie
While watching this, one gets the impression that the director's intention was not to produce a vampire movie. Lubie Nietoperze seems to be a kind of artistic parable of the relationship between man and woman, utilizing some elements of the vampire genre. It is true that viewed as a horror flick, this would probably infuriate most fans of vampire movies. There is no blood, we don't get to see the fangs of the central character until near the end of the movie and there are no scares (at least there are some bats in the movie). But if you approach I like Bats without the anticipation of blood, shiny fangs and wooden stakes hammered in the hearts of hideous bloodsuckers, it can be rewarding. There is a colorful set of secondary characters in the movie, some of them pretty bizarre. The heroine's aunt has a predilection for the esoteric and in one scene, she levitates (at least it appeared to me as levitation, but the VHS I viewed was in a bad shape). A bald headed man, who has hots for the female vampire and is repeatedly refused by her, attempts to murder her out of desperation, unsuccessfully. He gets his just reward later. There is also a sexual deviate who jumps the heroine in the park but falls prey to her charms and is drained of blood. A bald headed, wig wearing joker selling novelty toys pays a visit to the heroine's aunt occasionally and makes one hell of a din. The main character herself has some interesting hobbies- she dresses as a hooker at night and searches for her new victims in joints populated with transvestites. When she falls in love with a psychiatrist named Jung (!), and she passes through the gates of a private sanitarium for the mentally unstable in order to get rid of her strange affliction, she encounters another herd of weirdos and is subjected to hypnosis and gamma-rays. All the shrinks of the world cannot help her, until she and Doctor Jung manage to make out. All of a sudden, the curse is broken and the heroine can see her reflection in the mirror.... One thing is for sure, Lubie Nietoperze is not a horror movie by any stretch of imagination.
Blood Ring 2 (1995)
Blood Ring 2
The last movie of Dale Apollo Cook starts with a bloody fight taking place in a ring decorated with barbed wire. In a scene from Blood Ring, Max Rivers gets even with a thug working for the mob by beating the hell out of him and wrapping a necklace of barbed wire around his neck. After this stylish introduction, the second part deals with ensuing adventures of Max who is charged with murder and sentenced to a pleasant stay in a Filipino penitentiary. He is on his own, The American Embassy won't interfere with the legal procedures of local prosecution. The future doesn't look too bright. Max's only hope is his charming lawyer Linda Conroy who firmly believes her client was falsely accused. Unfortunately, Collantes, the warden, decides to arrange a kickbox match involving Max and 2 million dollars. Max isn't enthusiastic about this plan, and refuses to fight for Collantes. Soon, Max learns that the warden's word is the law within the walls of this prison and that Collantes knows how to make an inmate's life a living hell. When Linda informs Max that in this corrupt system, there is no legal way for him to get out of the pen, the only possibility left is to escape. One sunny afternoon, Max manages to leave local stone-pit without even asking the warden's permission, and he and Linda form a lethal duo that shoots down several Collantes' goons during an explosive pursuit. They make their way to the town, but outside an old warehouse they are recaptured. Max Rivers has to fight for his own life and for the life of a damsel in distress once more... Blood Ring 2 has plenty of fights, sweaty prisoners, a foul-mouthed cook wielding a meat-cleaver, explosions and a pretty good theme song playing while the end credits roll. There's no reason why not recommend this movie to the fans of Filipino action flicks.
Bush Shrink (1988)
Adventure in African wilderness with Charles Napier
Released under the title "The Trackers" in the Czech Republic. The original title "Bush Shrink" refers to a character of an American psychiatrist named Martin Cypher (played by Craig Wasson of "Schizoid" or "Midnight Fear"). This expert in the field of human psyche temporarily stays in certain African country where he attends to a girl whose uncle, Mr. Kingsley, is in charge of diamond mines. The character of Kingsley is played by the great Charles Napier. Cypher would like to cross the boundaries of purely professional relationship with Kingsley's niece, however, she seems to have no desire to indulge in any kind of intimate physical activities (it is revealed later that she was sexually abused by her father). Real problems begin when a bunch of black rebels taking counsels of a white mercenary kidnap the girl and her uncle. Captives are taken to the mountains and negotiations with Kingsley's subordinates and the police start. Meanwhile, Cypher decides to act on his own in order to rescue the hostages. Without any permission from local police officer, he releases a native poacher (and experienced tracker) who got arrested the day before for attempted killing of a cheetah, and both men set out to the untamed natural area on four wheels. The poacher who has the necessary knowledge of survival techniques proves to be essential for Cypher who wouldn't make it through a single night in the wilderness by himself. There is also some action involving fire-arms in the movie, but not until Mr. Kingsley takes the kidnappers by surprise and, while peeling an apple, he manages to stir up a bloody gunfight that reduces the number of players severely. Only Kingsley's niece and the white mercenary stay alive. Then the cheetah wounded by the poacher in the beginning of the movie returns, with empty stomach and its eyes set on the girl. Will the trackers be able to locate the Bush Shrink's patient before the beast sinks its teeth in the beauty? "The Trackers" is a well-made adventure but it certainly takes its time to get moving. The soundtrack consists of various native tunes and the cinematography reveals some truly striking sceneries. According to the Czech VHS, the director of "The Trackers" was a man named Ivan Hall.
The Rutanga Tapes (1990)
The Rutanga Tapes
In this South African action thriller with political undertones, CIA agent Bo Peterson, working undercover in some unstable African country, unveils the inhuman plan of president Mbule to wipe out local rebels. Peterson comes across a village with all people killed by an unknown force and has a hunch that all men, women, children, dogs and other living creatures on that grounds didn't fall prey to any usual virus or disease. In fact, inhabitants of the village were exposed to the effects of a new chemical weapon for their cooperation with rebels. This weapon was developed in a plant officially serving as a producer of fertilizers but in reality controlled by Lybian terrorists stocking president Mbule with means of destruction. When Lybians find out their plant was infiltrated by a stranger who could expose their activities, the head of terrorists named Assad (impersonated by Arnold Vosloo)commences a man-hunt.The main concern of all players in this game is one audio tape containing evidence. In quest for the tape, the Lybians don't hesitate to use guns, blow a market place to pieces, endanger a bus full of passengers or kidnap civilians.A female reporter and her son Matthew, who got involved in the whole affair thanks to agent Peterson, become hostages since Assad somehow concluded that the tape containing classified information is inside Matthew's walk man . The tape is taken away from Matthew and one of Assad's men incapable of violence against minors leaves the kid in the desert, without supplies but unharmed. Lucky for poor Matthew, a bush-man knowing natural medicine and survival strategies appears and sees to it that the kid and his mother pull through. In the meantime, Bo Peterson locates the place where the terrorists keep the reporter and some other folks and gives the villains their just reward. When agent Peterson plays the tape near the end of the movie, it contains nothing but some disco music. Does it mean all casualties were in vain? On several occasions, it's hard to tell what's going on in the movie. There are some bloody bullet hits, several stunts and explosions and one guy stabbed with a screwdriver. Nothing special apart from that. Czech VHS was released in 1994.
Lethal Cowboy (1995)
He didn't come back from hell but from the desert
In the first two minutes of this terrible movie, a long haired, half naked man named Cody is beaten, whipped and shot by Mr. Malone and his right hand Frank (played by Frank Stallone) because he owed them some money. Two Malone's men then take Cody out to the desert and dump him into a hole in the ground. A spirit of an Indian warrior turns up and plays the flute. After a while, Cody gets out of the hole and asks the spirit where he is. The spirit informs him they stand on a sacred burial ground and tells Cody he must stop the evil represented by Malone. Cody isn't too enthusiastic about the idea and says he doesn't want to feel the pain again. The Indian spirit replies: "Without pain, there can be no life." It's hard to argue with that, so Cody washes his bloodied face in the river and heads back to town. A lady named Elizabeth (Dana Plato) offers Cody a lift in her red sports-car and warns him that the townspeople aren't exactly friendly. This proves to be true when a bunch of hoodlums ask Cody for a cigarette. Cody tells them smoking's bad for health, the criminals take offense to that and a fist-fight begins. Lethal Cowboy beats the hell out of those punks. He then meets a homeless character wearing an eye-patch. This gentleman called Ratz gives Cody some information about Mr. Malone (who seems to control every illegal activity in the town ) and receives a few sandwiches as a reward. When Cody sits down at the bar and starts to ask too many questions, two goons promptly notify Malone of the unwanted visitor. Malone, who is usually busy lying by the swimming pool or mistreating women, sends out Frank and some other thugs to take care of Lethal Cowboy. Cody accidentally runs into Elizabeth, who happens to be Malone's personal property, and thanks to mutual sympathy, they start to make out in the desert. Cody is later captured, almost sliced up with a samurai sword and locked in a storage-house. During a party that gives Malone the opportunity to murder a rivaling mafia boss (Chris Mitchum), Elizabeth sets Cody free and they both escape. Malone finds Ratz and demands information concerning Cody's whereabouts. When Ratz isn't able to answer his questions, Malone calls him a liar, rips his eyeball out and makes one of his henchmen swallow it. Malone's behavior gets too much to take for other gangsters. Frank decides to keep some money from a drug deal for himself and blame the deed on somebody else. Cody discovers a corpse of his homeless friend in the hotel room, faces Malone while riding a horse like a true cowboy, reveals Frank's secret, breaks Frank's neck and finally uses kung-fu on Malone who winds up being scalped by the Indian spirit in a symbolic act of retribution... This movie contains many instances of violent behavior, especially the character of Mr. Malone shows distinct sadistic tendencies. On the other hand, aside from the dead body with one eye plucked out and a shot of blood dripping on an animal skull, very little bloodshed is actually shown. One would have a hard time finding a single enjoyable action scene or likable character in the whole film. It gets weird in parts but it never entertains.
The Boy from Hell (1988)
Could be called Dad from Hell
This cheap little horror about father-son relationships and demonic possession starts with a young man who wakes up in the middle of the night and goes for a walk through the dim passageways of a house only to discover a girl's corpse hung by the neck. He gets scared out of his mind but later finds out he became a victim of a dumb practical joke set up by other kids dwelling in the house (supposed corpse was nothing but a plastic dummy). This house, St. Bonifacius' facility for teenagers with psychological problems, is inhabited by a group of truly annoying young people and two adult counselors. Charlie, the kid from the beginning of the movie, is a constant target of pranks and insults. One night, Charlie witnesses unexpected arrival of a new boy, Daniel, whose mother wishes to protect son from his demonic father. Daniel's dad may appear to be an ordinary guy in a suit but in fact, he plans on taking over Daniel's body with the help of good old black magic. The demonic dad locates Daniel's mother and strangles her after a brief struggle. He then pays a visit to his boy and presents him with a special gift. Daniel is turned into The Boy from Hell with the ability to hurt and kill people by means of pure mind-power. Two pranksters who used to ridicule poor Charlie all the time try to pull the same stuff with Daniel around. They pay for it through the nose. First, a pigeon stricken by Daniel's rage crashes through the window and several glass shards cut into a prankster's face. The same lad is later found burnt to a crisp in his room although the police cannot find any possible source of fire. The other prankster falls into a wood-chipper and is ripped to shreds during the bloody highlight of the movie (a severed finger that lands on the lawn looks quite convincing). After two terrible and peculiar accidents, Charlie starts to suspect Daniel might be involved (Daniel's looks can really kill).... The Boy from Hell kidnaps Charlie's girl to celebrate his eighteenth birthday. Fortunately, Daniel's possession isn't irreversible at this point. Charlie hastens to rescue the girl of his heart and finally destroys the materialized spirit of Daniel's father. The demonic dad is impaled on a metal pipe and hit by an electric discharge from above. When you are up to your eyeballs in trouble, you can always count on Lord's intervention.... The Boy from Hell may not scare you to death but some of the performances of confused teenagers have certain bizarre quality that will undoubtedly entertain the fans of cheap horror movies.
Lethal Justice (1995)
A lesson for juvenile delinquents
This low budget movie about criminal behavior of high school students and the provoked reaction of teachers shares the same theme with more expensive projects like Class of 1984 or Substitute, but is different in execution. It cannot boast any Hollywood stars and contains little action. It seems that Lethal Justice tries to be a psychological drama with some ingredients of a crime flick.Things start quite promising as two nasty boys with some truly dirty deeds on their minds interrupt a class of an attractive female teacher.One of those punks threatens kids in the classroom with a knife while his buddy manages to rape the unfortunate teacher. After the crime, they walk away with unbelievable self confidence. One of them,a rich brat named Teddy Johnson, counts on his mother,who happens to be an important figure in the town and usually sweeps problems caused by her rotten son under the rug. When other teachers find out what happened, they are naturally appalled, but the real shock is yet to come.Shortly after the police take Teddy away, his mother gets him out on bail and makes sure that the principal allows the charming young rapist to continue his studies at local high school. When several disgruntled teachers demand some radical changes, the cowardly principal keeps complaining about the immense pressure he's under. As a result,Teddy and a bunch of airheads who call themselves Brotherhood of Saint Cassian are free to intimidate one of the teachers and his family. This guy and a muscular teacher of physical education decide to take matters into their hands and set up a trap. One of them invites Teddy over for a chat about future college studies and the other one plays the role of an unknown attacker with a hood over his head. Teddy gets his lesson but is finally able to figure out who plotted the attack. Two of his friends ambush the P.E. teacher and despite his superior physical condition, they manage to kill him. Teddy kidnaps the other teacher's son and the final confrontation takes place in the local church. The avenging teacher and the delinquent strive for awhile, although Teddy makes no attempt to hurt the child. Finally, the young delinquent deliberately falls to his death. The finale is a letdown for all viewers who expect bloody demises of bad guys in similar movies... There are a few flashback scenes showing Teddy's playthings being stepped on by his mother (was this experience the root of all his emotional problems?) and several visions had by the teacher who imagines himself as a knight in medieval armor. One scene also depicts the death of Saint Cassian when the legend of this martyr is told by a priest. The image of ancient Romans in togas somehow doesn't fit in the movie.
All'ultimo sangue (1968)
Fine example of Italian western
When a herd of bandits led by Billy the Gun get hold of a considerable amount of army gold and manage to gun down several soldiers during the process,Captain Norton is assigned to track down the villains and retrieve the gold.He pays a visit to his old pal that is currently residing behind bars (thanks to Norton) and is familiar with the habits and the lifestyle of bandits. Unfortunately, this notorious criminal (well-known for wearing a golden vest all the time) is about to be executed. Seconds before the executioner can put a noose around his neck, an explosion occurs, the scaffold is blown to pieces and Norton and his new companion promptly leave (all with the consent of the army officer in charge of the whole operation). These two rugged cowboys, each on the different side of the law, will have to cooperate in order to accomplish the mission. They must face danger in the form of Mexican thugs commanded by Cordero, who would like to get his hands on the gold. Norton has to deal with additional trouble because his companion attempts to take off whenever there is a chance... This spaghetti western contains gun fights, explosions, bar brawls, characters trying to swindle each other and also a dose of humor. When Norton and his pal are captured by Cordero's bunch, tied up, stripped off their clothes and left in the desert next to a bowl of milk that soon starts to attract poisonous snakes, two strangers decide to save them from certain death. How do our heroes express their gratitude? Of course, by knocking the two good christians unconscious and stealing their clothes and horses. Released on VHS in the Czech Republic under the title Bury Them Deep.
Sandokan, la tigre di Mompracem (1963)
Sandokan against British imperial oppression
Sandokan and his group of followers on the mission to fight merciless English colonial army and to free Sandokan's father. Thanks to one Portugese gentleman who puts on a stolen British uniform and tricks the enemy into thinking Sandokan was eliminated, rebels succeed in penetrating a British fortress and capturing the highest ranking officer's niece. Unfortunately, there is a traitor among Sandokan's men. This rat keeps divulging classified information to the other side and counteracts each Sandokan's future move. The Tiger of Mompracem has to reveal the identity of the traitor, protect the British girl from the dangers of jungle, avoid bullets during several clashes, break out of jail and outwit those treacherous Englishmen... Apart from several action sequences and one bullet removal, the movie contains a bit of romance when British officer's niece succumbs to the power of Sandokan's personality, and large number of exotic animals: poisonous snakes, elephants, a tiger (who gets his buttocks kicked by Sandokan) and a smart chimpanzee lady who helps rebels escape from prison cell... Dakkar, the guy who later appeared in Fulci's Zombie and Girolami's Zombie Holocaust, plays one of Sandokan's men in this nice old-fashioned adventure.
Graffiante desiderio (1993)
Erotic thriller with dark undertones
This film directed by legendary Sergio Martino cannot be compared to his giallo masterpieces of the past but, viewed as an example of the late period of Italian thriller, it has some entertainment value. The movie tells the tale of a young successful Italian Luigi whose career and personal life are turned completely upside down by the arrival of his cousin Sonia. After returning from Venezuela where she experienced something unpleasant involving her family, the voluptuous young girl is allowed to stay in Luigi's apartment and soon an intimate relationship develops. Sonia seems to have power over Luigi, who cancels his planned engagement, thus embarrassing the parents of his original girlfriend. Sonia, who convinced Luigi there is no blood tie between them thanks to adultery in their family history,contrives daring sexual adventures and brings excitement into Luigi's life,she even gets Luigi involved in a robbery, just for kicks. Poor Luigi doesn't know that thanks to her mental disease, Sonia can get extremely jealous and is capable of cold blooded violence when she's under strain ... The movie focuses mainly on the interactions of characters and Sonia's malignant influence on Luigi's behavior,although it doesn't lack blood and several instances of violence committed by a female character for once. In the most disturbing scene of the movie, Sonia tells Luigi she used pieces of a murdered girl's corpse as ingredients for her meals... The Czech Republic saw a VHS release of "Craving Desire" in 1995.
Grand Slam (1990)
Grand Slam 3
Two episodes of this series about Hardball and Gomez were bundled together and released as Grand Slam 3 during the early 1990's in the Czech Republic. The plot concerns Hardball's trouble with some obnoxious guy who sued him for an assault, Hardball's movable property being confiscated (there is nothing valuable in his office anyway),a former close pal of Gomez being helped by our heroic duo, a hacker who changes some records in the computer network and makes Hardball a target for all other bounty hunters in the city and also fanatics from organization "White Nations" wearing swastikas on their sleeves. It's packed with witty lines, likable characters, well-done action scenes and stunt work, all in all a great example of made-for-television entertainment.
Outcast (1990)
Low budget but effective little movie concerning Satan's power over desperate people
Henry, the outcast, is constantly abused by his stepfather, an alcoholic, violent man, and humiliated by almost all people in his native town. One day Henry decides to take off and try his luck in the city, where he takes part in a robbery perpetrated by a group of petty criminals. He looses his cool during the operation, hits someone's head with a blunt object and gets arrested while the others manage to escape. Henry sinks to the absolute bottom and just when he decides to commit suicide by throwing himself under the wheels of a speeding car, a mysterious stranger with the appearance of a reverend turns up. He offers Henry the chance of his lifetime. With his help, Henry pulls himself together, does a lot of exercises, is fed and given new clothes and education... Of course, all that doesn't come for free. The mysterious stranger is Satan's servant, if not Lucifer himself. When Henry decides to accept a satanic symbol as a tattoo, he makes a pact with the devil and becomes the instrument of evil. Henry returns to his home town with a fancy car, fashionable clothes and altered personality. He takes revenge on his former tormentors, kills his stepfather and later wipes out the crooks who persuaded him to participate in the robbery. Henry also finds and impregnates a girl whose child is supposed to be sacrificed in honor of Satan... This neat little horror movie contains several bloody scenes, such as the death of Henry's abusive stepfather who meets a painful end while working with a chainsaw. One long and effective scene is set in a place resembling an empty garage where Henry must stay during his metamorphosis from a piece of trash to a self confident man. As a whole,Outcast is a satisfying horror movie that uses its low budget to make a good impression. I don't know any other films by Roman Buchok,but I found Outcast completely entertaining and professional. This movie was available on VHS in the Czech Republic in the 1990's but it would surely find its audience on DVD in the United States .
Kara Murat: Seyh Gaffar'a Karsi (1977)
Unconventional style of kung-fu makes this worth watching
The main benefit of this adventure movie with plentiful kung-fu fights is the eponymous hero's way of kicking and beating as many villains as possible. Kara Murat uses an unusual martial art to accomplish his mission- to defeat an evil governor of certain district of Turkey,whose assassins kidnapped Kara Murat's brother and killed brother's wife. Although there is very little blood or gore present in all fight scenes, some techniques employed by Kara Murat bring a new perspective to the genre of kung-fu films. Our action hero seems to be capable of levitation as his whole body in horizontal position hits villains and puts them to sleep. Karat Murat also possesses extraordinary strength that allows him to throw enemies around and a specific sense of humor resulting in various comedic action scenes such as a villain's pants falling down and revealing the naked truth after the stroke of Kara Murat's sword, Kara Murat using vegetables as weapons or a bad guy having his set of false teeth removed during a confrontation.Another thing worth mentioning is a character entitled "Angel Face", an incredibly tall and ugly villain who eventually becomes Kara Murat's ally. All in all, despite some technical shortcomings and a cameraman's shadow clearly visible on one occasion, the creators succeeded in putting together an enjoyable action-adventure with a dash of comedy,kung-fu and Ali Baba's Forty Thieves.
Victimless Crimes (1991)
Stealing modern art can be a dangerous business
A tale of Louise and Terry, a married couple that decided to earn some extra money by stealing valuable modern paintings and selling them to a wheel-chair bound gallery proprietor Martin. Louise, who usually does all the dirty work- entering guarded buildings through sky-lites, dangling on a rope several meters above the ground, cheating security systems and removing paintings from their frames with a razor- is getting tired of that double life and wishes to quit. Her husband talks her into committing one more "victimless crime", as he calls it, in Martin's gallery, so that the gallery owner can rip off the insurance company . Luise eventually changes her mind, refuses to leave the car parked in front of the building and Terry is forced to carry out the deed himself. Everything goes wrong that night because Martin is shot in the office by his partner in crime, a corrupt bald-headed detective, who would do anything to protect himself and his illegal activities. Terry runs into this villain during his night visit of the gallery and has to take to his heels. After learning about Martin's violent death, Terry gets seriously unsettled by the fact he might become a suspect in murder case. The matters are further complicated by the existence of a videotape that can serve as evidence against the evil cop, and by Terry's adultery... Victimless Crimes is rather slow and slightly below-average crime movie that doesn't offer any kind of surprising plot twist, mystery or masked murderer. One interesting aspect of the movie is Louise's hobby- creating home and experimental movies with the early 90's video equipment. The performance of actress Debra Sandlund also doesn't hurt the movie. Still, a question remains: How did the snippet of music used in William Fruet's "Blue Monkey" get into the scene of final confrontation between Terry and the corrupt detective?
Distant Cousins (1993)
A dispute over family values
Richard and Kate, main characters of this thriller about family values, lead relatively happy life, doing their best to bring up their son Alex right. Alex likes to play a trick on an unpopular neighbor every now and then,and when one of his pranks with a remote control operated robot gets out of hand and police officers are summoned to the neighbor's house, Kate gets worried about the future of her son and decides to take measures of prevention... But all those usual family problems with children's discipline are forgotten when Richard receives a phone call from his distant cousin Harry, notifying him of his upcoming arrival and hanging up before Richard can refuse such honor. Harry is apparently one of those relatives Richard hasn't seen or spoken to for a very long time and whose contemporary appearance is unknown to other members of family. When Harry appears at Richard's door with a red headed girlfriend named Connie, the unexpected and perhaps even uninvited visitors seem to be just a couple of simple country cousins with a specific sense of humor. Although Kate isn't too enthusiastic about the idea of two guests staying in their house, she is willing to tolerate their presence for her husband's sake. Harry and Connie seem to get along well with Alex (Connie finds Alex's collection of Metallica records impressive) and Richard has the opportunity to remember the good old days of childhood portrayed in Harry's amusing stories. But unsuspecting hosts don't know two important facts about Harry and Connie- Harry is a former patient of an institution for the mentally ill and Connie's addiction to pills often leads to dangerous, violent behavior... After a few days, Kate grows suspicious of her guests and her intuition leads her to the conclusion the distant cousins may not be the people who they pretend to be. The guests slowly become an obnoxious burden, interfering with Kate's way of raising Alex, intentionally delaying their departure and acting weirder and weirder every day. Harry and Connie have a twisted vision of family values and future life in their diseased minds, but first they have to get rid of Richard and Kate, take their places and take over the house. Sooner then they know it, Richard and Kate are kidnapped, tied up and forced to help the insane visitors accomplish their mission. Things go wrong when Kate's friend from work decides to stop by and find out what caused Kate's absence. Emotionally unstable and constantly drugged Connie stabs the poor woman in the stomach and that's only the beginning of a violent fight over the house, Alex and family values in general. "Distant Cousins" is one of those thrillers produced by Image Organization and Pierre David, such as Paper Boy and many others, concerning various insane characters trying to conceal their mental disease and to infiltrate normal families but failing to fit into society and killing several people during the process. David Keith stars as Harry, a mentally ill but charismatic man whose attempts at building his family nest are marred by violent outbursts of his fiancée Connie. The couple's unrealistic and absurd plans for taking over the house, living under different names and raising somebody else's son contrast with their violent actions aimed against all adversaries.The movie offers a look at the mechanisms and functions of a family in danger along with several moments of bloody violence, and can be viewed as a minor contribution to the genre of family thriller represented by such films as The Stepfather I-III, Return of the Family Man, Mikey, The Perfect Bride, and so on...