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celtic451
Reviews
Seraphim Falls (2006)
What did I just watch?
I was shocked at how bad this movie was. Most of it just made no sense and much of it went against all logic. For example, Brosnan was on foot barely walking, but Liam and his gang couldn't catch up to him, then Brosnan is on horse and has like a 6 hour head start, and Liam catches up with him easy by just walking. And somehow Liam knows exactly where Brosnan is going all the time and always heads directly to him with pinpoint accuracy. And Brosnan has an obvious new fire going, and the gang gets there and doesn't spread out to find him and sit by the fire all day and all night, and Brosnan, who could have been long gone, hangs around the camp for some reason and Liam gets the drop on him. What the heck? Then they have scene after scene that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot. Then at the end it really gets weird when a traveling snake oil sales lady appears out of nowhere to bargain for their horses and stuff in the midde of like the death valley salt flats. Just an illogical mess.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Not actually a true story
To say this is a true story is really stretching the truth. There actually was a bear that found some coke in the woods and sniffed it back in the 1980's and that's about it. This was a very goofy movie that you can't take seriously on any level. The acting was goofy, the plot was pretty bad, and the writing was pretty bad as well. That being said, there were some kind of funny moments in the movie but not enough to get it past a five rating. I gave it five stars because it is a movie you can watch while you are doing something else because you don't have to worry about missing much if are distracted. But if you are bored and there is nothing else on tv, then I'd say go for it.
Horror in the High Desert (2021)
WARNING: Fake documentary
Why even make a fake documentary like this? My wife and I wanted to watch a documentary and ended up on this on Netflix. Normally I do a little research on the reviews to see how good or bad a movie is, but since this was supposed to be a documentary I wasn't too worried about it - wish now I would have looked at the reviews then I would have skipped this total waste of time. The content itself is slow and drawn out and goes nowhere leading to a fake "found" video that the fake "missing" person left. I was getting suspicious as to if this is real or not for several reasons. One was his "sister" didn't look at all like him and then when she said she accidentally deleted his videos from his blog that didn't make any sense. Even if she could do that nothing is actually deleted unless you scrub the drive, and she didn't look smart enough to do that. Then it didn't make sense that he would go out there in the middle of the night with a camera if he was supposed to be scared of the place. Then when I saw the goofy face of the person living in the shack then I knew the whole thing was fake - and I was not too happy knowing I had just wasted my time watching this slow mess.
Rapiniamo il Duce (2022)
Just too goofy to take seriously
It was really hard to get into this movie. It was just a little too goofy - and it's not a comedy. Right from the beginning I knew it was going to be a little off. It's set during WWII and the lounge singer is singing a Rolling Stones song! What the heck? The characters lean towards the one-dimensional side. The acting is sub-par and is also a little goofy. And the plot just isn't believable. These handful of goofballs plot to steal millions worth of gold from a heavily guarded fortress. Their "brilliant" plan is to set off some powder puff explosions which they hope all the guards will instantly run into the shelter without accessing what is actually going on. Just too nutty to get into.
Hunger (2023)
Why can't Hollywood make movies this good?
This movie caught me off-guard. I thought I'd watch it while I worked out just to have something to watch. I didn't think a movie about cooking would interest me - I couldn't have been more wrong. Chef Paul and Aoy deserve Oscars - wait - actually, they deserve much better than that. Chef Paul was mesmerizing and I couldn't take my eyes off of his every move. Aoy was so vulnerable, and traditional, yet thoughtful and independent. The story was gripping, interwoven, profound, sad, joyful, hopeful, and hopeless all at the same time. The background of glutenous wealth contrasted with the reality of the struggle of the middle and poor could be representative of any country. It made me think not only of society but of the human condition as well. It didn't just scare me, it made me face how scared I am of myself because no matter how I try to avoid it, I know I am human like everyone else.
The Mauritanian (2021)
Great performances
I know the point of this movie is to show the human side of a terrorist, which it did, but after 911 I really don't have much sympathy for a terrorist. That being said this movie did expose how due process was not followed for the accused terrorist, and any accused whether they are guilty or not should have rights. Just because there is not enough evidence to convict someone, does not mean they are innocent though. They just didn't have enough evidence to convict the terrorist, even though he admitted that he had joined a terrorist group, and they did have proof of that, but that's not what they were going for. Of course Jodie Foster will get all the attention, but Benedict Cumberbatch and the guy who played the terrorist just plain outperformed Jodie. Overall a pretty good movie and the fact that it is a true story helped it a lot. If it had been a fictional movie then it wouldn't have been as interesting.
The Pale Blue Eye (2022)
10 all the way
I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. The acting was superb, the writing was amazing, and the period settings were spot on. And to throw EAP in there was brilliant. It was like a Poe novel and poem all wrapped in one, and he didn't even write it! Bale and Melling were great together and I actually thought it was Poe Melling did such a great job. The plot and mystery kept me intrigued and guessing with each twist and turn, and it was a well written mystery as well. And Spall was so believable in his part I thought they had plucked him out of 19th century England. And it was so great to see Robert Duvall again - what a pleasant surprise. A must see movie.
Circle (2015)
Not awful but the ending was lame.
There were some good points about this movie. It was fairly interesting the debate everyone had to go thru and try to justify things either for themselves or against others. The acting was actually top notch and the dialogue was believable. However, you really don't get an explanation of what and why and the ending was very, very lame. But it is worth watching, but just barely.
Tracker (2010)
10 all the way!
This movie was great. Great dialogue, great acting, great scenery. At times Morrison reminded me of Eli Wallach as Tuco - just a brilliant performance. And the scenery was incredible. I loved watching the two men of different yet very similar backgrounds take in each other's point of view to the point of understanding and respect of what each had gone thru in their lives. 10 stars all the way.
Lila & Eve (2015)
10 all the way no doubt. Oscars for Davis and Lopez.
I am so glad I ignored the lackluster reviews. This film was great in so many ways. I don't even like Lopez as an actress but I got so lost in her amazing performance that I thought it was someone else. And Davis was dead on in this role. I thought this would be another cheesy Thelma and Louis but is was deep and profound and moving. I normally don't like the type of theme in this movie but this one worked. One of, if not the best movie I've seen in a long time. I might have even liked it more than Green Book. What a gem. A must see.
Sicilian Ghost Story (2017)
Boring and slow
What did I just watch? It was like they were trying to make this as slow and boring as possible. It starts off with an owl looking down at wet rocks. That should have told me of boring and meaningless film moments to come. A young girl is overly obsessed with a teen boy that no one else really seems to miss when he disappears. Then there is scene after scene of the kidnapped teen just laying in bed or looking at his "cell" wall. Then scene after scene of the girl thinking about him or staring at something non-important. Her mom seems to hate her own daughter but that goes nowhere so she comes off as a paper thin character. Then thank goodness the film ends with the teen boy dies and she tries to kill herself but recovers and ends up smiling at the ocean. What? Maybe you have to high on something to watch this, but I didn't get it. One of the worst films I have ever seen and mega boring.
Unlocked (2017)
It was just kind of ok
This movie was kind of ok but it just didn't have the moxie it should have had. Orlando was under utilized and ended up not being much of a role or influence in the plot, so it might have been better to not even have that character in the story. MD was ok but we all knew he really wasn't dead so no surprise there. It just didn't build and build like it should have. It was too segmented to really gain any momentum. It was ok but that's about it.
The Next Three Days (2010)
Illogical on so many levels
This wasn't a terrible movie, but it was so illogical it really ruined it. First off, it starts off confusing because they don't even tell us why she got arrested in the first place and then all of a sudden she is in prison and we know nothing of the evidence etc that put her there. Then, instead of trying to prove her innocence and find the mystery woman, he decides the best route is to break her out of prison! Well, let's see, he needs money so why not just go rob drug dealers! Then at the end one of the detectives in a few seconds figures out her original story is plausible and that she is probably innocent. Why couldn't he have thought of that before? Just a total mess of a movie.
The Rover (2014)
Simply awful
This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It is slooooooow, boring, virtually no plot. Three guys steal another guy's car and then the entire plot of the movie is for guy is for the first guy to go after them to get his car back. That's the entire plot. Oh and then there is the entire middle where they drag it out where they just travel throughout the entire movie to find the three dorks that stole his car. Then he gets his car back and that's the end. Boring, slow, dumb, and a total waste of time. A real stinker.
13 Sins (2014)
This movie was amazing. Finally great script writing.
Right from the opening scene this movie gets your attention and the writing is freaking amazing. It's a classic plot formula of the protagonist getting in deeper and deeper known as the quicksand approach. There was even a movie a long time ago called quicksand that used this. The game show's host voice and attitude and delivery was dead on, hilarious, and yet believable. His sarcastic dialogue was just genius. I loved it from beginning to end and I wish it had never ended. I just added it to my list of classics. A must see movie.
Between Worlds (2018)
Bad writing, illogical, and just awful
What a total mess of a movie. Nick thought he was saving a woman getting strangled so he attacks her attacker, she gets mad at him, then 30 seconds later she asks him if he has kids like they are one a date. 'She needed to get choked so she could save her daughter from going somewhere will in a coma but they don't explain why and why isn't she at the hospital instead of a truck stop? And why does the nurse seem to know the daughter can leave. And why did they attack the 2 teens? No explanation for many things in the movie. Whoever wrote this simply can't write a logical story. Awful!!!!
Layer Cake (2004)
Slow, boring, disjointed.
After reading all the rave reviews I decided to watch this. Was that ever a mistake. An incredible waste of talent. I have no idea why Tom Hardy was listed second in the credits because he basically wasn't even in it. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for most of the events in the movie. If they took out all the f bombs then there wouldn't be much of a script left. Even the ending didn't make any sense at all. I wish I had those 2 hours back. I wish I could give it a zero.
Green Book (2018)
Obviously 10 out of 10
After I watched this the first thing I thought of was the Oscars. Both Viggo and Ali should win Oscars and then the movie itself should win and probably several other categories. I've been waiting for a Viggo performance like this ever since the Lord of the Rings. What makes this even more interesting is the fact that it is a true story. Viggo was so great that I forgot during the movie that it was Viggo. And Ali was so powerful that I hung on his every word. It's moving, touching, real life, and powerful. I found myself laughing so hard sometimes I was crying, not that it was funny like a comedy, but it was humor that can only come from real life and real moments. Amazing movie. Solid 10. Might be the best movie I've ever seen.(I don't include LOTR because that's a whole different thing and I don't compare any movie to that).
The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot (2018)
Wow - didn't expect that!
This was one the best movies I have ever seen. I didn't know what to expect with the title, but it turns out it was a human interest story, and an extremely well done one at that. S. E. is amazing in this role, and somehow he and the writing pulled it off so that it was not only believable, but it actually made me wonder if this was in fact a true story. I think much if not all of the symbolism and and the deepness of life experience went over most people's heads. Vin Diesel fans won't get it. Great movie. Must see.
Serenity (2005)
Awful movie
I don't get all the rave reviews of this flop. Cheesy acting, cheesy plot, bad writing, disjointed mess. It's like they tried to draw from a multitude of other movies including some from the 1970's. It didn't help that they brought in the Property Brothers of space - they didn't add anything to the movie and were annoying. The main character psychic girl was like the disconnected Twilight girl of space and was uninteresting. The captain wasn't clever or witty or adorable like he thought he was. Just an awful total mess.
The Sea of Trees (2015)
Solid 10 out of 10
This movie may be the best movie I've ever seen in my life, probably because it is a movie about life with a little spiritual and paranormal twist to it as well. It was the best realistic representation of life and tragedy and relationships and inner conflict that we all have all in one story - amazing. The analogies presented are smart and beautiful. Matthew was spot on and casting Ken Watanabe in this was pure genius. If anyone gives this less than 10 then like just hasn't kicked them in the teeth enough yet. Let life happen to you some more then come back and watch this movie. You will have a deeper appreciation for it. Great great movie.
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)
1st story was great, rest of the stories, not so much.
Tim Blake Nelson should have gotten an Oscar for the 1st story. He was absolutely amazing in this. I was hoping the entire movie would have his character in it but it wasn't. The rest of the stories were boring and some really weren't even stories because they went nowhere. Some of them had people just kind of talking about things then just ended and didn't seem to have any point whatsoever. And what a waste of talent in Liam Neeson! His story was boring as well. I do recommend watching the 1st story though - I would like to see an entire movie made out of the 1st story.
The Good Neighbor (2016)
Boring waste of time
What a waste of Caan's talent. The plot was billed as 2 teens experiment on a neighbor by "haunting" his home and then see how it affects him. The problem was they didn't really even haunt him. I was expecting a series of haunting-like pranks like moving objects and increasing the intensity of it until the neighbor gets more and more freaked out until some kind of climax happens. Now THAT would be a good plot. Hey - I should have written the screenplay! Instead they did lame things like break the thermostat so he would get cold, but the only effect was he got cold and just thought the thermostat was broke. Lame. Very boring and sloooooooooow. Total waste of time.
The Endless (2017)
What the heck did I just watch?
OMG this movie is terrible. It looked like they were trying to be like the old show Lost, but the viewer just gets lost. At first it looks like they are just revisiting a cult they used to belong to, then it gets weirder and weirder and loses all sense of plot and everything else. For some reason people who aren't even in the cult are stuck in a loop. Then the 2 brothers walk back to the camp to find the cult people have been sucked up into the air and disappeared, then a storm of destruction comes and how do they escape all this? In a pickup! Even though the pickup runs into a force field as well as another car they somehow get out and then at the end the cult members are back. What a mess! Don't waste your time!
Hold the Dark (2018)
One of the best movies I've ever seen
Ignore the haters on this one. I don't get all of the negative reviews. This movie was simply amazing. Great acting, great plot(makes you think), great scenery, and great score. It brilliantly show through the action and attitudes of the local people how the outside world just doesn't get it and they refuse to give up their culture, whether you are native or not, the culture and traditions and spirituality comes from the land and the magic of the land not from genetic makeup. Skarsgaard is dead on in this role. If you like something deeper than a Vin D. movie then this is for you.