soralapio Reviews

Undead (2003)

No-brain fun (no pun intended)

[7/10 · 1 January 2004]

Undead was a huge surprise to me and a very pleasant one at that.

I love zombie movies and cheesy B-action, both of which this movie has in spades. In the small town of Berkeley, Australia people suddenly start turning into zombies and nobody knows why. A handful of people manage to escape the initial infection and attempt to escape. Hundreds of zombies die, gore flies everywhere and hilarity ensues.

Undead is one of the few recent zombie movies with a sense of humor about itself and the genre. While things are serious and tense most of the time the director and writers have realized that you need to counterbalance tension with relief and humor. When you see zombie fish leaping at people or some blow a zombie's head off with a soda can and a pen you know you're watching a brilliant movie.

People are complaining that Undead tries to be more than a zombie movie. It absolutely doesn't. It's a zombie movie and one of the best I've seen in years. Better than Resident Evil for sure. Bring on the DVD!

Full Metal Jacket (1987)

The war movie

[8/10 · 27 August 2002]

2001: A Space Odyssey didn't do it. A Clockwork Orange wasn't enough. Eyes Wide Shut nearly convinced me otherwise, but finally Full Metal Jacket was enough to prove to me that Stanley Kubrick is a genius. When I saw the movie as a kid, I was attracted to it by the war action. Now, as an adult I love the movie for it's deeper message (which I leave for everyone to find by themself). Matthew Modine does a fine job as Private Joker, but the true heroes of this film are R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman and Vincent D'Onofrio as Leonard Lawrence.

A truly amazing movie, to which all the war movies that have come since owe a lot.

Heartbreakers (2001)

Amazed, ashamed and loving it

[6/10 · 8 July 2002]

First a disclaimer - I would never rent or go see a movie like this. It's just not my cup of tea.

That being said, when I tore my ligaments and was forced to stay in bed all day long, I quickly ran out of things to do. My brother rents this kind of stuff all the time and out of boredom I popped the disc into my DVD player and prepared for pain. To my surprise I loved this movie. It's witty, it's funny and it's sexy. Of course scantily clad Sigourney Weaver and Jennifer Love-Hewitt contribute to the last item of praise.

Give the movie a chance and rent it. You might like it.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

A real letdown

[4/10 · 29 June 2002]

Disclaimer: I loved the original Hellraiser. The characters were interesting, believable and above all human. That made it all the more terrifying. The Cenobites were mysterious and undeniably evil. I had high hopes for Hellraiser II.

That being said, Hellbound: Hellraiser II is one of the biggest letdowns in movie history. Whereas in the original we had characters with believable motives (Julie was motivated by her lust for Frank, Frank was motivated by his obsession with pleasure and experiences etc...) in Hellraiser II we have bland caricatures. The bad guys are ridiculously evil, the good guys are pure and virtuous and nobody ever doubts anything. The original Hellraiser worked because we only saw glimpses of hell which allowed our imaginations to fill in the rest. There's nothing for the imagination to do here because the director felt like he should lay it all out for us. Tentacles, maggots, blades and blood galore. What's truly offensive is that the producers and director of the movie felt like they didn't need any of the basic elements used in movies and thought that the sheer amount of blood was enough to make a good movie. They were wrong. The further the movie goes, the worse it gets. By the time Kirsty and Tiffany are trampsing through hell, screaming each others' names, the movie itself has gone to hell. Seriously, we get all the clichés here. It's actually kind of admirable that they could fit it all in.

Hellraiser II is a boring, confusing slideshow of gory images with nothing to link them together, nothing to push the story along and nothing to emotionally connect the viewer to the movie. A real letdown. * out of ****

The Mothman Prophecies (2002)

Boring!

[5/10 · 22 June 2002]

Here we have the archtypical movie that is at the verge of greatness and collapses to mediocrity. Mothman Prophecies is filled with promise, a neat idea and tons of atmosphere. Yet, every time it appears something will happen, nothing does. The tension builds, builds, builds... and falls flat. It's a frustrating experience. Richard Gere appears out of place, but that's not really a big surprise. After all, ever since his success in Pretty Woman he pretty much rehashes his role over and over again. If you like The X-Files, you may get a kick out of this movie, as it's very similiar in style. Those expecting horror would do well to go elsewhere.

Vampires (1998)

Strangely appealing

[8/10 · 22 June 2002]

Ever since I saw a documentary on the making of horror movie special effects, I've wanted to see 'Vampires'. I wasn't disappointed. In this era of cheap computer effects it's really refreshing to see a movie where the special effects are done the old fashioned way. For some bizarre reason I really like Vampires. The plot is somewhat clichéd, the acting is nothing special and yet... I find myself watching this movie over and over again. Somehow the idea of a secret military force funded by the church, dedicated to fighting vampires is thrilling even though I'm not a religious man. I suppose it harkens back to the day of witch hunters. James Woods is great as the grim, dedicated man sworn to destroy all vampires and as the true shocker, the generic Baldwin appearing in the movie does a really good job as well! If you like gory movies, check it out!

From Hell (2001)

Frustrating

[6/10 · 22 June 2002]

Much like The Mothman Prophecies, From Hell is a movie full of promise that it never fulfills. The basic idea is neat - a police inspector tracks the notorious Jack the Ripper before he kills again. This is all very well and fine, but in true Hollywood style they couldn't leave it there. We get a gold-hearted prostitute whom the inspector falls in love with. We get the secret love child of the Prince of Wales and another gold-hearted prostitute. We get a ridiculous conspiracy and we're supposed to believe it's all historically accurate? Give me a break. Johnny Depp, as usual, is excellent, Heather Graham is indifferent. Possibly an entertaining movie for those who haven't studied the Ripper case much or don't care about the glaring historical errors and omissions.

DNA (1996 Video)

Cheese at it's finest

[2/10 · 22 February 2002]

DNA is a sub par movie, but a shining B-movie. Ripping off material from such box office hits as Indiana Jones, The Predator, Species and Alien, it mixes action, suspense, romance and horror into one hilarious stew.

The plot is convoluted even for a B-movie. Our main hero (Marc Damascos) begins the movie as a doctor of some kind but is forced to become an elite soldier as the plot progresses. He and his female companion must fight an evil professor and his Predator-like space monster through a jungle, aided only by their wits, heavy firepower and some jungle magic provided by the local natives.

The special effects deserve a special mention. They are nothing special up until the last moments of the movie, at which point the budget must've ran out, for they suddenly look like something out of a 60's action movie.

You'll cringe, you'll groan, you'll laugh and you'll have a great time. Cheese at it's finest!

Guest House Paradiso (1999)

Shocking, absurd, brilliant

[5/10 · 21 January 2002]

You don't see movies as twisted as these anymore, and it's a crying shame. The more you think about it, the less sense the movie makes and that's exactly why it works so well. Totally absurd, shoking, twisted and hilariously funny.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Simply unbelievable.

[10/10 · 20 December 2001]

Simply unbelievable. That's the only description I can think of. I have never been a huge Tolkien fan, although I've read the trilogy many times. I was actually sceptical going in and waiting for a typical Hollywood crapfest. Instead I was surprised by a movie with everything going for it. All the actors are solid to excellent, the special effects are truly special and the soundtrack ranks among the most memorable movie soundtracks I've heard. As hard as I think, I can't think of one complaint I have regarding this movie. Oh yes, there is one - I have to wait for a year to see the sequel! See this movie now, you'll thank yourself!