miless-49621 Reviews

Too Old to Die Young (2019)

it's pretty good, but every 1 hour episode is 70% meaningless silence

[5/10 · 31 March 2024]

I've enjoyed what ive seen so far, but every character and every action has a huge pause between it, and there are far too many long and pointless shots of people doing drugs or sitting around at clubs. Everything takes many times longer than it needs to, and it's not usually artistic in that sense, it feels more that they really wanted to pad out the time. I could hit ffw 10 times in a row and miss maybe 2 sentences. I think they have something that could be developed further here, but it just doesnt value the viewer's time. Quite a few prime series have been like this recently: either stretched out with a bunch of nonsense or ending on episode 4-7, a "mid season finale", et cetera.

The One I Love (2014)

pointless drivel. elizabeth moss should not have a career.

[1/10 · 18 March 2024]

There's nothing useful here. This woman is a dangerous scientologist and should not keep getting so many popular roles. She's not talented, she brings nothing to the table and adds nothing to anything she performs in. Her acting is bad, her body language is like a demented robot, and her face is like the visual representation of nails on a chalkboard.

Please, PLEASE hollywood, stop hiring this woman. I'm sure she's much worse behind the scenes than she is on camera, and she brings the absolute worst vibes to everything she performs in. Stop hiring these nepo babies. There is a reason the vast majority of them do not develop as artists in the long run: because you keep rewarding them for dog doodoo.

Next Goal Wins (2023)

this is a great film. however, elizabeth moss ruins everything she touches

[8/10 · 18 March 2024]

This one is being rated poorly specifically because it's trans positive imo, or because many of the critics didn't keep watching after fassbender said transphobic things to jaya. There is a thing called character development, you know? Of course what he says is offensive early on, but he learns.

Every single scene involving the white cast outside of fassbender sucks, though. Gob from arrested development does fine, but these regularly peppered in and utterly pointless interactions with elizabeth moss are complete nonsense. She is just one more nepotistic scientologist that should not have a career or a platform.

I actually have been searching for a review platform that lets me review an actor or actress instead of reviewing the films they are in individually, but it doesn't exist. If it did, i'm sure we would be seeing more complaints about elizabeth than just mine alone. I have never seen her in a single role that wasn't obnoxiously bad both in writing and acting, and besides that: she promotes a dangerous and predatory cult.

Poor Things (2023)

an ableist, chauvinistic mess that couldnt pass the bechdel test to save it's life

[1/10 · 9 March 2024]

I can hardly begin to express how bad this film is. It's not artistic, it's not ironic, there are very few laughs, and barely even any of the visual appeal critics seem to be raving about. The sets are cheap and the cgi is cheaper. It does admittedly start out pretty well, but it becomes painfully clear that this movie has literally no message, and is just a grotesquely sexist and ableist fever dream. I am far from prude, i don't mind the gore or sex or weird imagery, but that's hardly what the film is about.

As if everything else about the film were not bad enough, a little after halfway through the film, emma stone begins having sex with a man inside a brothel while two very young boys watch and take notes. As a CSA victim, i find this both disgusting to the viewer and unacceptable for the children involved in the scene. They looked younger than 10 years old, and they were there with two nude adults very obviously having sex while instructing the children on how to do it.

I loved killing of a sacred deer, but i've hated everything else by this director, so i don't think i'll ever be watching a film by them again. I've even lost respect for a number of cast members who i'd normally liked before seeing this. If they are willing to participate in such a disgusting project, they must have read the entire script, and they must have known what they were doing.

A Murder at the End of the World (2023)

do not waste your time with this unless you are very easily impressed by meaningless depictions of wealth and privilege.

[1/10 · 20 December 2023]

This is a series that pretends it's showing you content, but only seems entertaining or well made if you don't pay any attention. None of the decision making is believable, the writing is terribly superficial and pointless, and there are far too many long, extended musical numbers featuring songs that already have far too much playtime in other recent films to be anything but a series of FFW clicks for me. I have literally skipped every musical sequence because of how unoriginal the soundtrack choices are. The protagonist is a painfully stereotypical zoomer/millennial who was almost certainly written by dinosaurs, and the majority of everything i've seen so far is just a bunch of shallow scenes in fake luxury buildings that don't look nearly as fancy as they wish they did. No one brings a library of printed books onto an airplane, billionaires don't buy mass produced generic motel room wall art for their mansions, and nobody really wants to see scenes where a bunch of wealthy, privileged people exposition dump about how fancy and esteemed they are. It's an extremely dated formula, and the majority of the futuristic tech featured is indulgent consumerist nonsense. I like clive owen as well as the guy from triangle of sadness, but there is not much else redeemable to be found here. They have a fancy feast and the only things to be found at the table are basically candles and plain loaves of bread. Everything about this is just shallow and cheap.

Oracle (2023)

solid movie, could use a little more cosmetic emphasis

[8/10 · 3 November 2023]

It was good. I'm a fan of heather graham, i liked the story and it was well written and acted, but the film wasn't quite ace material. There were a lot of sequences where i felt a few little details could have made all the difference, perhaps if the protagonist locked the mask on at the end instead of just setting it on like a helmet, or if there was something a little more gruesome behind the door.

Viewed as a film made on a limited budget though, it's great. I think it was just missing a little bit of panache, but there wasn't anything glaringly wrong with the project that comes to mind.

I think the ghost is pretty bland, and could have been more of a caricature of a racist lady vs it's sort of generic ghost/demon lady look. Still, it was good enough to make it's point.

I'm a Virgo (2023)

great show, then it just abruptly ends

[6/10 · 23 June 2023]

I like this show. I like the cast, i like the writers and director. However, there isn't any excuse for it to just abruptly end. I know there is a writer's strike, but terribly stretched out 2nd seasons that flop hard and don't earn the writers or cast any residuals are absolutely a part of the problem. The show should just be 1 season, the creator does not have enough ideas to make a second one, and it's just going to be bad when they do make it.

7 episodes is not a season, even if they are 1 hour long. This show has 2-3 more episodes in it at best, and i fear for what amazon will do to it to make that into a full new season.

I Like Movies (2022)

The protagonist is not likeable enough to get away with this behavior

[7/10 · 16 June 2023]

This is a charming project in theory, but as the film goes along it becomes harder and harder to like the protagonist. Sure, his dad died, but he's a total jerk to everyone around him without any provocation whatsoever. He should show much more character development much earlier in the movie.

Frankly, i understand the type of stress he's going through, but i don't like the stereotype of a mentally ill person behaving chaotically while everyone around them is trying their best to be nice. This is a hollywood stereotype that basically never happens in real life, and the reality is that people don't keep acting like this unless others are bullying/abusing them, and that's really not happening.

The film in general would be much better if there were real pressing reasons for him to act these ways, because i don't think leaning on/fetishizing teen angst is a good way for the script to fill itself out.

The climax of the film is just a bunch of arguments and bad behavior when it should have been nice, and by the time we get to the uplifting segments. It's too little too late, because the protagonist still has not experienced any character development. The only thing that's changed is his haircut and the people around him, and it's utterly implausible that these pretty girls would be talking to him. This isn't because he's overweight, in fact i think his appearance is generally fine, but his personality in this film is just utter trash.

Paper Man (2009)

the first 3/4 are great

[1/10 · 30 May 2023]

I think audiences expected a superhero story since ryan reynolds is on the cover, but were instead confronted with a story that made us think about everything a superhero story leaves out. Ryan reynolds actually has a reasonable character that doesnt take up 90% of the script with pointless one liners for once, and the story is really heartfelt and funny in little ways. For the first 3/4 of the film or maybe a little further i was really enjoying it, so long as jeff convincingly maintained his innocence. However, then comes an abrupt U turn into problematic territory.

I will say that the ending kind of drags, and they really should have ended on mr excellent flying away, since many of these later scenes made the whole thing very uncomfortable. Especially after him inviting a bunch of minors to his and providing them alcohol because he feels lonely, having the 40-50 something jeff daniels kiss a girl on the lips who is stated to be around 15 years old or younger kind of makes me question the integrity of the protagonist. If jeff wrote his own character, then he may just be some kind of IRL pervert trying to make an excuse to spoon with and kiss emma stone.

Until the ending, i was all the way with the idea of him as just some sad guy who didn't know what he was doing, and i also was willing to believe that the initial "you're such a beautiful girl" was poor phrasing and meant more earnestly. Instead, by the ending, we are left with jeff having painted himself as a complete idiot, a pervert, and an irresponsible jerk who is causing a lot of stress for the people around him. It's especially awful for him to traumatize and sexualize this poor girl like that when she clearly is lonely, already damaged, and looking for a father figure.

By the end of the film, they have systematically removed everything that would allow us to relate to the protagonist, and it becomes pretty creepy that he's exposing a bunch of children to his problematic immaturity. Playing some quaint and whiny indie music while this all happens only makes him look like more of a creep and a narcissist. He doesn't even finish the book. Frankly, the fact that he says his wife views everyone as a machine just makes him seem worse, as if he's resentful towards her for expecting him to behave like a halfway functional adult.

Zombi Child (2019)

flawed subtitles ruin what should be a slow dramatic buildup

[4/10 · 29 May 2023]

This has an interesting concept, but right from the start they are already shooting day for night, and that is simply not going to look good, ever. Just film it at night. Splicing in shots of the moon isn't going to make it more convincing, it's just hard on the eyes and pointless. These sequences could have just been written to take place during the day if it wasn't feasible to shoot at night. Combine this with amazon's ever-intrusive grey x ray overlay that always takes just a little too long to fade away, and i'm basically staring at a solid grey screen with sound effects added. I'm watching this at night, too, so i can't imagine how difficult it would be to see in the daytime.

I think this improves as the setting changes to a more developed region, since it's easy to find street lamps or indoor locations, but the same can't be explained away easily in a night time shot of an undeveloped area without artificial lighting. Still, the film appears to have a reasonably sized budget, so they should just get some filters and standing lights to resemble the moon. Past that, even the most rudimentary productions should be able to find somewhere or some time of day to shoot that has better ambient light.

The subtitles are off time to the point where it's impossible to tell who is saying what, especially due to the rather static and bland delivery of most lines. Often i find this is an issue when the production went off script but was still kept, which happens pretty frequently, the issue being that the script itself is not rewritten for the subtitles, so it's often just wrong or out of order. It should not be difficult to get your subtitles right, but it seems most companies view their accuracy as very low priority and instead outsource the whole thing to some evil gig work company or make a bot do a terrible job at it. As this goes on, there are entire scenes that simply don't have subtitles despite being spoken in the same french as the rest of the film.

Given that it's basically pointless to try to listen to most of the characters while they speak unless there's a monologue, since their individual personalities are impossible to discern when they are in a group, i really just want this film to get on with it and show me the horror stuff if it's going to go there.

The rap sequences are pointless, probably meant to appeal to young adults. A group of teenage girls singing pop music about pop music topics in an abandoned building is not witchcraft or occult or anything of the sort. The song they chose wasn't particularly bad, but they absolutely did not need to sing the entire thing. It just feels like hamfisted filler to establish some kind of connection between the girls, since their characters are not really very fleshed out. "do you have a favorite rihanna song?" since when does a billionaire pop star who was not born poor have anything to do with the experiences of a haitian immigrant in a predominately white setting? I understand if that music is relatable to people who haven't been exposed to more relevant material, but it's far from poignant for the protagonist to be into rihanna in a way that the film reinforces.

Imo there is a good film in here, but it's slow and wasted with filler. Someone else should adapt the script into a more concise and finished project.

Keeping Company (2021)

not very good, probably a symptom of the writer's strike

[4/10 · 16 May 2023]

I can't keep giving movies like this on prime the benefit of the doubt. Sure, it's "made on a budget". That doesnt go so far when the company selling the film to us is one of the wealthiest on the planet.

Keeping company is pretty dry, boring, with less than likeable characters that don't elicit any of the laughs the writers think they are going to. There's no comedy, not much horror either. I like a lot of the cast members in different projects, but i had to turn this one off after about 40 minutes. They have to be able to do better than this, and so i have to assume that amazon or other streaming services just want dirt cheap content and don't care if it's finished or releasable.

I think that even if the cast members are trying, the director didn't bother to do enough takes to make the characters interesting or compelling.

Yellow Bird (2023)

watchable but very low budget

[4/10 · 13 May 2023]

This appears to have been filmed in an actual grocery store, and all of the cast are unknowns that were surely paid very little. It's not a high shelf film, but it's not really that bad either. It feels like this director could do a lot better with more resources, since what is here is pretty well written, and as another review says: it grows on you.

The only "known" cast member is a lawn gnome that talks to the protagonist, played by the voice of Brian Doyle-Murray. He does fine. Aside from this, we have a lot of ironic social awkwardness that tends to get funnier as you get used to the budget restraints of the project.

The film is a little slow and wooden, almost feeling like a stage production that used a supermarket instead of a theatre. Still, there is a certain integrity to the project that makes it feel like there's a diamond in the rough here. I can't exactly give it a high rating, but i don't really mind it so much. I would look forward to more from some of this team, but im not sure exactly who worked on which parts of the project.

Many scenes and sets seem well inspired and intended, but we can tell that they are trying to save money pretty often. For instance, i'm pretty sure the same bran muffin was used throughout the film in 4-5 scenes, possibly more.

Still, if you have the patience for a little corner cutting, this one is surprisingly worth the watch compared to how it might seem at first glance.

Given the current writer's strike: i'd say that if this was made by horribly underpaid gig workers, i won't support it. If it's made by some earnest people that just wanted to put out a film without a lot of resources, i fully support them for it.

McGraw Ave (2020– )

Great show if you don't take it too seriously

[8/10 · 19 March 2023]

This show is unintentionally funny on a regular basis, but also walks a line where it's quality of writing, acting, camera and lighting work, soundtrack etc are often pretty well done relative to the resources available to the crew. If you expect it to be immaculate you won't have fun, but if you can take it with a grain of salt this show is incredibly entertaining.

If you like rap music and/or are from the detroit metro area, you might hear a lot of familiar songs being featured as well. I especially like vezzo and 42 dugg, although they don't make actual appearances in the show.

Having enjoyed series like snowfall on FX, i found mcgraw ave to be a lower budget version of some of the same concepts and aesthetics. If you are able to tolerate the small doses of corny/cheesy content on snowfall, you will love mcgraw ave.

Last and First Men (2020)

if you like the book, maybe you will enjoy this.

[2/10 · 25 February 2023]

This is the dryest, most generic old school sci fi to be had. I'm a fan of some of this stuff, but the book in question is simply not unique or poignant. The visuals of the film quickly become boring when you realize they are often not related to what's happening in the story.

This film might have been made using hundreds of other novels as the script, and it feels to me that they simply chose one that was inexpensive to buy the rights to, rather than picking one which had a relevant or interesting story.

The script is threadbare and vague, the book written by someone who doesn't appear to have enough of a scientific background to predict anything even vaguely resembling the future of humanity. With the right editor, a better story could be written by a middle schooler.

Swallowed (2022)

There is no body horror. this is just a drug smuggling story with worms.

[3/10 · 25 February 2023]

Totally disappointing and misleading. The only body horror in the entire film is a prolonged erection. I'm a fan of jenna malone, and i think the male leads in the film did a pretty solid job as well, but the movie was a waste of time.

I am all the way here for the representation, and the romantic aspects were cute at first, but were thrown away like every other interesting premise this film had. There was no reason to even present this as a sci fi, because if the worms were replaced by drugs, the plot would not have changed in the slightest.

To say "bugs designed by ____" in big brazen letters before the rest of the credits was insulting to the audience, because the main thing promised by the trailer, the cover, and the synopsis was body horror. Where is the cronenberg???? Unless you are mortified by the sight of a small grub, there's nothing scary about this movie.

Undeaducated (2021)

This movie is free on youtube

[2/10 · 2 February 2023]

Frozen vapor studios has uploaded the movie themselves to youtube. It is one thing for amazon to plug it onto their platform, but it's another entirely for them to be charging money for a free title.

Just go to the youtube channel, so that you don't have to be disappointed by paying for a 41 minute short film that the creators are not charging money for.

The film may not be top quality, but it's also free, as are a number of other films on the FVS youtube channel.

As for the film itself: it's more watchable than a lot of the cheap movies and shows amazon puts out, but very cheaply done. Good for a little laugh, but there are many better choices out there.

After Last Season (2009)

I guess nobody else gets it?

[9/10 · 28 January 2023]

I have to take a star off for the slow start, but as a finished piece it's an audiovisual journey the likes of Arthur Clark's "3001: The Final Odyssey".

The special effects may be underwhelming to some viewers, but just stop taking all of your medications at once and you will totally see what the creator's intentions were.

I'm deeply inspired by the original musical numbers, as well as many of the cast's deep dedication to their roles. Multiple times throughout the film, i found myself saying "wow".

This last sentence is an allegory for the 94 remaining characters required to post a review.

There's Something Wrong with the Children (2023)

please stop hiring child actors who don't understand their lines

[1/10 · 19 January 2023]

This film could have been good, but instead the creators opted to gather every 7 year old child in their own personal neighborhood and pretend that they would be able to create an acceptable film.

The movie has a decent premise, it even has decent production values from time to time, but if your cast does not know the definition of the words they are reciting for you, you are never going to get a functional performance out of them.

I could compare this film to the majority of new star wars disney series. They hire the first "cute" looking child actor they can find, and make zero effort to choose a cast member who will put on a good performance.

If you want someone to play a young child, you can find someone 15-16 years or older who might be able to do a decent job. This cast instead seems to be made up of the first people the creators could find, and as such should not be marketed for pay per view.

Censor (2021)

interesting visuals, good acting, plot is empty.

[6/10 · 8 January 2023]

This was enjoyable to watch, for the most part, but it spend an hour building up tension only for very little to happen. By the end, it seemed very clear that the writer and/or director had not planned things ahead of time. It feels like the first 2/3 of a decent movie, and too many scenes are lacking in emphasis, instead focusing on the admittedly nice score and lighting while leading up to a climax that never arrives.

Given how much violent imagery is depicted and discussed throughout the film, i found the ending to be extremely underwhelming. It was less intense, less visually stimulating, and less gory than any of the films the protagonist watched earlier, which leaves the viewer already desensitized by the time this relatively tame scene rolls along.

I am not sure if the creators think censorship is good or bad. Is this supposed to be some kind of anti PC story of a "karen" who loses her mind, or is it just about someone who stumbles upon a dark subculture in her day to day work, thereby cementing the idea that censorship (or general regulation) is necessary to maintain safety?

It's hard for me to say whether i felt my time was wasted. The film is rather short (about 1 hour 15 mins not including credits), which i guess is because they ran out of either ideas or money or both. What's there is pretty good, but it doesn't have a lot of follow through.

Lamb (2021)

Bizarre and Interesting Stuff, But Too Much Filler As Well.

[8/10 · 8 January 2023]

There is a certain amount of icelandic bleakness that is to be expected in any film made there. At the same time, there is just so much empty and uneventful space in this film. I enjoyed many parts of it, but it gave us too little plot fiber to bond with the child and too much filler.

I am 100% interested in slow, large, open empty shots so long as there is a purpose to them. So long as an ant walks across the screen in the corner, there maybe was enough of a purpose, a contextual necessity, or an allegory. In this film, too many shots are simply empty and still. Yes, it's fine to have a film that is quiet and slow, but in this case it felt that they were a substitute for the main dish instead of an accent to it.

Regardless, i think this is worth a watch. It just feels rather empty and pointless, and perhaps that's supposed to be a lesson re: humans needing to leave animals alone and to stop projecting meaning onto our interactions with them unless we are genuinely helping them.

I have to take 2 stars off just because i think there is perhaps an entire character, and/or major event, and/or setting missing from the film. The ending was well executed and surprising in concept, but the extremely lengthy segment of the protagonist running out into the field and then subsequently staring at the camera for like 10-15 minutes straight was very questionable, and i would personally make a fan edit that removes this scene. I have to wonder what could have been done with just this specific amount of time, much less many others earlier in the story.

One Cut of the Dead (2017)

the third act cannot possibly be good enough to redeem this trash.

[1/10 · 14 December 2022]

Other reviews claim it gets better. I tried continuing to watch it, and it does not. Frankly, this feels like a stress test of how terrible of content the audience will still gleefully consume if the critics are unanimously paid off to rate it highly.

Terrible film quality, terrible acting, terrible writing and/or improvisation, almost nothing happens for the majority of the film. There is not a single funny joke. It's just bad. This film makes me want to stop participating in review platforms entirely and launch my own where we are able to block as many critics and user reviewers from our feed as we please in order to ensure this dreadful noise is not pushed to the top of our feeds again and again.

Grimcutty (2022)

Great Concept, Flawed Execution

[5/10 · 11 October 2022]

If you are willing to suspend your disbelief, and you want a horror film that's not really very frightening which could be suitable for watching as a family, this is not the worst choice. However, hulu has made much better horror movies than this, and the titular cryptid, while having a well designed and pretty scary face, has such an awkward body that it just doesn't feel intimidating. It's also generally slow and weak, and it's powers are underdeveloped. I would have liked to see it grow in some way as more parents bought into the hysteria, but it was basically just an invisible guy with a knife.

Battle Kitty (2022– )

Battle Kitty is pretty good, but not interactive at all

[5/10 · 27 April 2022]

The show is okay, but it's absolutely filled with moments where the viewer could pick a certain weapon or strategy, and yet there are absolutely no choices given to us. The only thing we do is click on the map to go to different bosses or areas, and there is an episode inside of that area. I can't say that the show isn't cute or entertaining, but it's quite disappointing to start watching and find out that it's just a tv show with "interactive" slapped on the cover.

The level of user interaction with the show can be compared to an animated DVD menu, not a choose your own adventure like previous interactive netflix titles such as bandersnatch.

I also think that the content sometimes gets a little heavier than what a 7 year old should be watching (per the y7 rating), but it's not too serious. I would compare the maturity level to adventure time or steven universe, although it starts out much more shallow and gets more serious in later episodes.

Just Another Immigrant (2018)

There are few to no jokes

[3/10 · 21 February 2022]

This show's entire gimmick is "im not funny i cant think of a good joke". That stays tepidly amusing for a couple of episodes until we start to realize that the writers literally do not have any good jokes and that even with good contextual or situational humor the actors will do absolutely nothing with it. This guy is not just "deadpan", he's virtually not funny.

Search Party (2016–2022)

I wanted to like it, but it becomes extremely offensive after a while

[2/10 · 28 November 2021]

Starts out with a lot of potential, but ends up offensively innacurate and heavy handed when addressing topics of trauma, abuse, and mental illness. This show feels like it was written by someone who has absolutely no idea what this type of experience is like to go through, and they should not be making films for the public if the director/writer's goal is to just lay on the trauma porn until there is no longer any substance to the story. There are some good actors and there is some decent writing, but it's just clearly not written for or by victims, and the later seasons in my opinion should be taken down for dangerously and cheaply misrepresenting extremely touchy subjects simply because it's "juicy drama" or something, which it isn't. It barely makes sense, and it really disappointed me. Do not waste your time with this one, it will make you sad for no reason and with zero underlying messages to make the emotive aspects worth experiencing.