Forest of Death is a no budget 'horror' about four teens being stalked by a shapeshifter in the woods. So, what to say? A cast of ameteurs monotone their way through a script that needs no fewer then 3 party montages to help pad the run time. The monster, which kills ruthlessly during the opening teaser, takes forever to do anything for the rest of the movie. I can only assume the high reviews come from family and friends of the cast and crew because Forest of Death fails to work on any level. To defend a film like this by saying it's a low budget movie ignores the fact that The Blair Witch Project was also a low budget movie that was roughly 1000% more effective then weak piece of noise.
Reviews
37 Reviews
The Flight Attendant
(2020–2022)
Light Weight Fun Bogged Down w. Preachy Backstory.
18 December 2020
The Flight Attendant is about good time girl Cassis Bowden (Kaley Cuoco) waking up next to the wrong man. The result is a likeable murder mystery with a solid cast. In fact, if The Flight Attendant had kept it's focus I would probably have given it a solid 8. Unfortunately for everyone, this plot meanders.
As I mentioned in my title when this ditzy stew - ah, Flight Attendant isn't travelling the globe she is having continuous flashbacks about her bad news childhood. Specifically, trouble with daddy and alcohol. To the Flight Attendant's credit these problems don't go where you might expect but we are still saddled with a continuous stream of melodrama that is so earnest and repetitive it stops the momentum of the story cold. Watching actress Kaley Cuoco play a loud drunk once or even twice is fine, I guess, but The Flight Attendant pounds you over the head with it substance abuse message so often you'll end up with a sympathy hangover.
The second issue I have with The Flight Attendant is the Rosie Perez subplot. Why is this here? It has nothing to do with the main story, it's not even introduced until episode 3 and when we finally learn why Rosie does what she does, I mean, it has to be the weakest motive for any character in any movie ever! I strongly suspect this dumb diversion was only added to round up the running time of the series because it literally serves no other purpose.
So, the Flight Attendant. 1/3 fun. 1/3 grime after school special. 1/3 Rosie getting a paycheck.
As I mentioned in my title when this ditzy stew - ah, Flight Attendant isn't travelling the globe she is having continuous flashbacks about her bad news childhood. Specifically, trouble with daddy and alcohol. To the Flight Attendant's credit these problems don't go where you might expect but we are still saddled with a continuous stream of melodrama that is so earnest and repetitive it stops the momentum of the story cold. Watching actress Kaley Cuoco play a loud drunk once or even twice is fine, I guess, but The Flight Attendant pounds you over the head with it substance abuse message so often you'll end up with a sympathy hangover.
The second issue I have with The Flight Attendant is the Rosie Perez subplot. Why is this here? It has nothing to do with the main story, it's not even introduced until episode 3 and when we finally learn why Rosie does what she does, I mean, it has to be the weakest motive for any character in any movie ever! I strongly suspect this dumb diversion was only added to round up the running time of the series because it literally serves no other purpose.
So, the Flight Attendant. 1/3 fun. 1/3 grime after school special. 1/3 Rosie getting a paycheck.
The Silence
(II) (2019)
Dumb Characters Looking to Die
13 April 2019
Warning: Spoilers
The Silence stars Stanley Tucci (what, really?) and some other people in another apocalyptic thriller about evil beasties wiping us pretty much out. And yes, these beasties, flying bat things or something, can only hunt based on hearing and yes, that is enough to somehow make them a viable threat. But anyway, the story.
A family leaves the comfort and safety of their well appointed home to wonder the byways of America as cities begin to fall to large swarms of apparently fairly lethal bat/bird things. After witnessing first hand how nasty the bat/bird things can be the group decides for no obvious reason to abandon the comfort and safety of their well appointed mini van and continue wondering on foot. With a sick grandmother in tow. The rest of the film follows this pattern of ridiculously stupid decisions being rewarded with unbelievably lucky results. Why? because there isn't enough story here so the writers had to keep coming up with new ways of putting the Tucci clan in jeopardy which is why it never occurred to anyone to maybe lock the gate if you don't want the pervy preacher coming around anymore.
Slow and shamelessly stealing from other films - not just A Quiet Place - The Silence is as lazy as it is dull. Characters plod along without really seeming all that worried and the let's face it, when you have to introduce a second villain late in the third act it might be telling you the plot is all out of ideas.
Stanley Tucci deserves better and so do we.
A family leaves the comfort and safety of their well appointed home to wonder the byways of America as cities begin to fall to large swarms of apparently fairly lethal bat/bird things. After witnessing first hand how nasty the bat/bird things can be the group decides for no obvious reason to abandon the comfort and safety of their well appointed mini van and continue wondering on foot. With a sick grandmother in tow. The rest of the film follows this pattern of ridiculously stupid decisions being rewarded with unbelievably lucky results. Why? because there isn't enough story here so the writers had to keep coming up with new ways of putting the Tucci clan in jeopardy which is why it never occurred to anyone to maybe lock the gate if you don't want the pervy preacher coming around anymore.
Slow and shamelessly stealing from other films - not just A Quiet Place - The Silence is as lazy as it is dull. Characters plod along without really seeming all that worried and the let's face it, when you have to introduce a second villain late in the third act it might be telling you the plot is all out of ideas.
Stanley Tucci deserves better and so do we.
Aquaman
(2018)
Soggy THOR Clone Reverts to Camp Over Quality
19 December 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Two brothers fight over a throne that will allow the winner to guide the destiny of multiple kingdoms/worlds etc. The younger brother is an usurper who lies and murders his way to the crown while the older brother is reluctant to accept the responsibility of the office.
Sound familiar?
Aquaman is very familiar from the 'sky bridge' needed to enter Atlantis to the quest to be worthy of a signature weapon we've seen this all of this before only done much better.
And with Loki. No Loki here. Only lots of CGI fish.
I don't mean to pick on Aquaman the character, I didn't expect much from the Wonder Woman film and I came away very impressed and I was willing to give this outing a chance but, God, from the corny dialogue to the idiotic aquatic theme - sharks with lasers strapped to them? - Aquaman is hard to watch after Marvel has raised the bar so high over the last 15+ years.
Aquaman starts taking on water early on, with far too many gosh darn earnest speeches about uniting two worlds, a remarkably clumsy origin story designed to explain how Atlantis went from being, you know, up there to down below and worst of all, a main villain so bland the writers added a SECOND supporting villain who pops up every now and again for the odd inconclusive battle.
Finally, all of this 1970s Saturday morning cartoon level idiocy drags on for a good two plus hours so be sure to set your wake up call for the 68th minute because that's how long you'll have to wait for the first bit of action that doesn't involve talking to fish.
Pixar elevated animated films from kids only dribble to mainstream entertainment because they created interesting characters and thoughtful stories. Richard Donner, Tim Burton and later Marvel would do the same with the superhero films. Basically, they made them better then they had to be. Aquaman is a huge step backwards. Uninspired and dumb I was reminded more of the 1980 Flash Gordon film then anything from recent years. Another bit of evidence that DC is throwing stuff at the wall hoping something will stick.
Sound familiar?
Aquaman is very familiar from the 'sky bridge' needed to enter Atlantis to the quest to be worthy of a signature weapon we've seen this all of this before only done much better.
And with Loki. No Loki here. Only lots of CGI fish.
I don't mean to pick on Aquaman the character, I didn't expect much from the Wonder Woman film and I came away very impressed and I was willing to give this outing a chance but, God, from the corny dialogue to the idiotic aquatic theme - sharks with lasers strapped to them? - Aquaman is hard to watch after Marvel has raised the bar so high over the last 15+ years.
Aquaman starts taking on water early on, with far too many gosh darn earnest speeches about uniting two worlds, a remarkably clumsy origin story designed to explain how Atlantis went from being, you know, up there to down below and worst of all, a main villain so bland the writers added a SECOND supporting villain who pops up every now and again for the odd inconclusive battle.
Finally, all of this 1970s Saturday morning cartoon level idiocy drags on for a good two plus hours so be sure to set your wake up call for the 68th minute because that's how long you'll have to wait for the first bit of action that doesn't involve talking to fish.
Pixar elevated animated films from kids only dribble to mainstream entertainment because they created interesting characters and thoughtful stories. Richard Donner, Tim Burton and later Marvel would do the same with the superhero films. Basically, they made them better then they had to be. Aquaman is a huge step backwards. Uninspired and dumb I was reminded more of the 1980 Flash Gordon film then anything from recent years. Another bit of evidence that DC is throwing stuff at the wall hoping something will stick.
Maniac
(2018)
Quirky without Content
27 November 2018
To quickly sum up the plot of 'Maniac' Jonah Hill plays a lovable loser and Emma Stone is a depressed slacker and together they join a drug trial. What follows is a series of flashbacks and 'adventures' as the two characters react to the various meds.
I wanted to get that out of the way first because the gimmick of Maniac is it exists in an alternative reality. A sort of 1980s world of shag carpet and primitive computers coupled with space travel and, well drugs that rewire your brain. All of this is cool and it kept me interested for the first episode, the problem is by episode two the whole 'Look we're using 32 bit graphics' thing gets old and the pacing devolves into melodrama. Case in point, Emma Stone's endless car ride with her sister.
Episode three, which was as far as I got with this series, takes a break from the family drama and gives us some WACKY hi jinks involving recovering a lemur from a corrupt fur dealer. CRAZY! The fur dealer and his brothers (?) look like they were lifted straight out of a lessor episode of 'Better Call Saul' or 'Fargo' and that's the problem, unlike those shows, and 'Legion', another show Maniac borrows from, Maniac never rises above a superficial weirdness as strange things happen and are then passed over.
A lot of people seem to like Maniac so maybe give it a look but check out Marvel's Legion as well, a similar situation but with properly flushed out characters and a subtle story arch that goes somewhere.
I wanted to get that out of the way first because the gimmick of Maniac is it exists in an alternative reality. A sort of 1980s world of shag carpet and primitive computers coupled with space travel and, well drugs that rewire your brain. All of this is cool and it kept me interested for the first episode, the problem is by episode two the whole 'Look we're using 32 bit graphics' thing gets old and the pacing devolves into melodrama. Case in point, Emma Stone's endless car ride with her sister.
Episode three, which was as far as I got with this series, takes a break from the family drama and gives us some WACKY hi jinks involving recovering a lemur from a corrupt fur dealer. CRAZY! The fur dealer and his brothers (?) look like they were lifted straight out of a lessor episode of 'Better Call Saul' or 'Fargo' and that's the problem, unlike those shows, and 'Legion', another show Maniac borrows from, Maniac never rises above a superficial weirdness as strange things happen and are then passed over.
A lot of people seem to like Maniac so maybe give it a look but check out Marvel's Legion as well, a similar situation but with properly flushed out characters and a subtle story arch that goes somewhere.
Final Score
(2018)
O.K. Action Film with 5 Minutes of Brosnan
1 October 2018
As many other reviewers have pointed out Final Score is very similar to the superior Jean-Claude Van Damme film Sudden Death. Instead of hockey wrestling star Dave Bautista takes on a group of generic Russian bad guys looking to make trouble at a soccer game. Oh, he also has to protect the helpless daughter of a dead war buddy because we need to see he's a tough guy with a heart. I guess.
Final Score has some decent action scenes and there are a few laughs thanks mostly to Amit Shah who plays Faisal. I won't bother with the errors in logic that are in abundance through out because it isn't that sort of film. I do get annoyed however when an A list actor only shows up 65 minutes into a movie and then is in only in 6 scenes.
For the most part Bautista carries the film pretty well, he maybe needs a little more energy, perhaps a bit more cocky but for the most part he's fine. An o.k. movie you will forget the moment it's over.
I Think We're Alone Now
(2018)
Slow Pacing Capped with a Random Non-Sequitur
27 September 2018
I Think We're Alone Now is yet another post-apocalyptic film that finds Del (Peter Dinkage) keeping his home town swept and tidy after everyone else has suddenly died from an unspecified event. Dinkage is great as usual conveying volumes with just a look. Into this well kept world comes Grace (Elle Fanning) a free spirit who has been travelling the wasteland in search of companionship. After this initial meeting what follows is 60 minutes of tedium. The characters bury bodies and basically just look for things to do. Well acted boredom is still boredom. Then, the film ends with a plot twist that has virtually no connection to anything that came previously. It is as baffling as it is stupid. Having Del wake up and realize it was all a dream would have made more sense.
Fahrenheit 11/9
(2018)
Moore Panders To His Core Demographic
21 September 2018
I have to say I've had a love/hate relationship with Michael Moore's film. His first documentary about Flint, Michigan was terrific but over the years he has injected more of himself and his politics into his films. His latest Fahrenheit 11/9 seems like a real missed opportunity to look at what is happening in the White House, the media and across the country. This is a turbulent and unique time in the history of the world and a more objective film maker could have really captured the spirit of the moment. As it is, Fahrenheit is a hog pog of interviews, random bits of material and general hatemongering. Instead of trying to gain insight into the situation by actually uncovering original material Moore settles for the lazy Facebook blogger approach of trying to upset the right while pandering to the left. And as another reviewer mentioned he does this while cashing a paycheck. I am critical of Trump and his approach to things but material like Fahrenheit 11/9 does little but add to the inflated hysteria coming from the left that is as destructive to the nation as any of the president's missteps.
Chinese Yes Man
20 August 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Wow. I use to really love this series not just for the food but for the examination of the human condition that Anthony brought to each episode. I was extremely dissappointed to watch Bourdain cow to the new Chinese super rich while all the time failing to mention China's shameful human rights record. Every conversation was about how strong China was becoming and what an important leader it was becoming on the world stage. Can you say scripted propaganda? The low point was Bourdain putting on a Brooklyn accent for the amusement of a group of trillionaires. Anthony has sold out.
Skyscraper
(2018)
Another Lazy Action Film for the Chinese Market
12 August 2018
I like the Rock. I really do, in every interview he gives he seems like a stand up guy and after seeing Rampage I understand he will say yes to any project. Still, Skyscraper looks and feels like a 3rd tier straight to video family friendly action movie. It is less a homage to The Towering Inferno, which, by the way, is a more exciting film and features a pre-murdery O.J. Simpson, and more just a cobbling together collection of set pieces from Mission Impossible, Die Hard and others. Skyscraper is also a very safe film the knows it's place. The violence and language are kept PG and the fight scenes are bloodless and sparse at best. In fact, most of the 'thrills' come from watching the Rock dangle off the side of a building over and over and over again...
The story? The largest building in the world is on fire and the Rock must rescue his family. Guess what happens.
The Towering Inferno was about corporate greed and technology outpacing our ability to keep people safe. Skyscraper settles for terrorists and the love of family (yawn). There are also several scenes that give miscellaneous Chinese supporting players the opportunity to shoot people and watch video monitors. Again, yawn.
Any film lives or dies based on how much the audience cares about the characters in it and action films are no exception. Skyscraper is populated with terrorists who execute a needlessly elaborate and complicated plan, police who jump to stupid conclusions and the Hong Kong fire service who deal with structure fires by not showing up. Seriously, not ONE fire engine in the entire movie.
As I said, I like the Rock and I wish him nothing but success but if he continues to waste his start power on garbage like Rampage and Skyscraper he will end up reduced to co-staring with Nicolas Cage in the next Ghost Rider sequel.
None of us want that Dewayne. Start making smarter choices buddy!
The story? The largest building in the world is on fire and the Rock must rescue his family. Guess what happens.
The Towering Inferno was about corporate greed and technology outpacing our ability to keep people safe. Skyscraper settles for terrorists and the love of family (yawn). There are also several scenes that give miscellaneous Chinese supporting players the opportunity to shoot people and watch video monitors. Again, yawn.
Any film lives or dies based on how much the audience cares about the characters in it and action films are no exception. Skyscraper is populated with terrorists who execute a needlessly elaborate and complicated plan, police who jump to stupid conclusions and the Hong Kong fire service who deal with structure fires by not showing up. Seriously, not ONE fire engine in the entire movie.
As I said, I like the Rock and I wish him nothing but success but if he continues to waste his start power on garbage like Rampage and Skyscraper he will end up reduced to co-staring with Nicolas Cage in the next Ghost Rider sequel.
None of us want that Dewayne. Start making smarter choices buddy!
Blade Runner 2049
(2017)
When a Blade Loses It's Edge.
14 October 2017
Beautiful and empty Bladerunner 2049 is the needless squeal to the 1980s classic.
Set 30+ years after the events of the first film we meet Ryan Gosling continuing in the Bladerunner tradition of shooting robots. Along the way, he discovers a great secret that might change the social order of a world that is made up of humans and they're purpose built slaves.
All of that was covered in the first 20 minutes of the film by the way. Skip ahead to the 3rd act, grumpy Harrison Ford shows up and, well, that's about it.
Leaving the theatre my wife and I tried to decide just why Bladerunner left us both feeling so indifferent to it's existence. She had never seen the first film, I had, but our feelings were the same. Bladerunner is great to look at and I appreciated the nods to the original, but, it became quickly apparent our apathy stemmed from the fact nothing much happens in this movie.
Office K's (Gosling) investigation into a missing person moves at snails pace and none of the people we meet along the way are as interesting as the scenery around them. One example is Wallace (Jared Leto) the new Tyrell and the main villain of the film. His speeches are dull and only go to serve the plot, he leaves all of his serious evilness to his sidekick while he stays home sporting a handicap which must be a desired physical affectation considering how easily it could be treated in his time.
The main theme in both Bladerunner movies is one day the slaves will cast off their chains and be free. Sure, there's stuff about love and self-awareness but these are side issues that have been explored elsewhere to better effect. The main focus of 2049 is humanity needs an indentured underclass to do its heavy lifting and either you are for it or against it and that is a pretty thin premise for a movie this long.
Late in the film Officer K sits on a deck chair staring out over an irradiated city. He looks like a man lost, not knowing where to go next. This moment is the perfect metaphor for Bladerunner 2049. All of it's surprises are revealed too early on leaving both the audience and characters to mull over the same obvious of choices for the rest of the movie.
A wasted opportunity.
Set 30+ years after the events of the first film we meet Ryan Gosling continuing in the Bladerunner tradition of shooting robots. Along the way, he discovers a great secret that might change the social order of a world that is made up of humans and they're purpose built slaves.
All of that was covered in the first 20 minutes of the film by the way. Skip ahead to the 3rd act, grumpy Harrison Ford shows up and, well, that's about it.
Leaving the theatre my wife and I tried to decide just why Bladerunner left us both feeling so indifferent to it's existence. She had never seen the first film, I had, but our feelings were the same. Bladerunner is great to look at and I appreciated the nods to the original, but, it became quickly apparent our apathy stemmed from the fact nothing much happens in this movie.
Office K's (Gosling) investigation into a missing person moves at snails pace and none of the people we meet along the way are as interesting as the scenery around them. One example is Wallace (Jared Leto) the new Tyrell and the main villain of the film. His speeches are dull and only go to serve the plot, he leaves all of his serious evilness to his sidekick while he stays home sporting a handicap which must be a desired physical affectation considering how easily it could be treated in his time.
The main theme in both Bladerunner movies is one day the slaves will cast off their chains and be free. Sure, there's stuff about love and self-awareness but these are side issues that have been explored elsewhere to better effect. The main focus of 2049 is humanity needs an indentured underclass to do its heavy lifting and either you are for it or against it and that is a pretty thin premise for a movie this long.
Late in the film Officer K sits on a deck chair staring out over an irradiated city. He looks like a man lost, not knowing where to go next. This moment is the perfect metaphor for Bladerunner 2049. All of it's surprises are revealed too early on leaving both the audience and characters to mull over the same obvious of choices for the rest of the movie.
A wasted opportunity.
The Orville
(2017–2022)
To Boldly Go Where Better Shows...
18 September 2017
First off, I love Seth McFarlane. Well, not love love, I'm sure he's generous and tender but no, I mean I love/respect both his successes (TED) and misses (TED 2 - Ted Goes to Court). 'The Orville' sadly, falls into the later camp.
To sum it up, think of a Star Trek series with inferior special effects, make up, costumes, set design basically all the tell tale signs of a parody i.e. Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest. The only problem is Orville seems to have traded in laughs for melodrama. REAL FAMILIAR melodrama. As in, a junior officer who spends a good deal of the pilot whining to anyone who will listen about how she isn't sure if she's ready for command. Seth himself plays the Orville's captain Ed Mercer and proves to us acting is hard. Reading dialogue in a single monotone register does not make for compelling television.
As for the plot, the captain and first officer are kidnapped and the green crew fret about either obeying orders or rescuing their friends. Hamlet it's not and a few fart jokes would have helped pass the time.
I'm just not sure what the Orville is suppose to be. It's doesn't seem to want to be funny and we already have endless hours of dialogue heavy space based chatfests thanks to seasons 1-3 of Next Gen and most of Voyager. Maybe add a couple of musical numbers? Some light jazz in the background as the alien of the week teaches the crew about the human condition? A baby with a big head? Worked before.
To sum it up, think of a Star Trek series with inferior special effects, make up, costumes, set design basically all the tell tale signs of a parody i.e. Tim Allen in Galaxy Quest. The only problem is Orville seems to have traded in laughs for melodrama. REAL FAMILIAR melodrama. As in, a junior officer who spends a good deal of the pilot whining to anyone who will listen about how she isn't sure if she's ready for command. Seth himself plays the Orville's captain Ed Mercer and proves to us acting is hard. Reading dialogue in a single monotone register does not make for compelling television.
As for the plot, the captain and first officer are kidnapped and the green crew fret about either obeying orders or rescuing their friends. Hamlet it's not and a few fart jokes would have helped pass the time.
I'm just not sure what the Orville is suppose to be. It's doesn't seem to want to be funny and we already have endless hours of dialogue heavy space based chatfests thanks to seasons 1-3 of Next Gen and most of Voyager. Maybe add a couple of musical numbers? Some light jazz in the background as the alien of the week teaches the crew about the human condition? A baby with a big head? Worked before.
It Comes at Night
(2017)
Critically Acclaimed Sleeping Pill
1 September 2017
'It Comes At Night' is another survival horror entry that focuses on a family attempting to ride out a plague that has seemingly devastated most of society. The critics and other reviewers on this page have made much out of the camera work etc., etc., but this is just an excuse to have something nice to say about a very familiar idea executed in a not terribly original way. I won't even pick on the fact the film has been marketed as a horror when it's really just a think piece about values. Anyway, the story focuses on a family of three waiting out the fall of society when a second family joins them. And that's it. We do have a few plot points come up, the son has 'special feelings' for the newly arrived female and there is a little 'can we trust the others' but these issues are barely touched on and go nowhere. The final act is such a hysterical downer it feels like it was made deliberately shocking in attempt to justify the 60 minute wait it took to get to it. In the end, I didn't care about the characters, the tension felt forced and I am sick of this Walking Dead thing where people make only passing references to things that should be paramount in their lives i.e. 'What's happened to the world?' and 'What are we going to do about it?' (Besides hide).
Awaken the Shadowman
(2017)
Terrible Acting and Do-Nothing Monster Puts 'SLOW' in slowburn
2 August 2017
I don't often write reviews for IMDb but after sitting through 'Awaken the Shadowman' and then reading some of the 9 and 10/10 reviews I had to take a moment to warn the world away from this poorly written, poorly directed 'thriller?' peopled with amateurs posing as actors and the always lovely Jean Smart.
The story in a nutshell, an everyman gets a call from his brother informing him their mother has disappeared. Concerned, he carts his wife and young baby to mom's place where they are introduced to a collection of folks who all belong to a sort of survivors group. The everyman then proceeds to spend most of the film searching for mom while 'The Shadowman' basically a black silhouette, turns up occasionally and does absolutely nothing until late in the third act.
The ending doesn't matter because if you have ever seen a horror film you already know. Lazy and obvious.
Now the big problem. The acting in this film is some of the worst I have ever seen. I know, it's a low budget horror, but the soap opera lead and the rest of the cast give such flat, monotone readings I was questioning if Shadowman was suppose to be a comic parody of the horror film genera. Nope! It's not clever and self aware like Scream, it's just horrible.
Next time Skyler get a dialogue coach and a monster that does more then stands in the corner of the room like a virgin at the senior prom.
The story in a nutshell, an everyman gets a call from his brother informing him their mother has disappeared. Concerned, he carts his wife and young baby to mom's place where they are introduced to a collection of folks who all belong to a sort of survivors group. The everyman then proceeds to spend most of the film searching for mom while 'The Shadowman' basically a black silhouette, turns up occasionally and does absolutely nothing until late in the third act.
The ending doesn't matter because if you have ever seen a horror film you already know. Lazy and obvious.
Now the big problem. The acting in this film is some of the worst I have ever seen. I know, it's a low budget horror, but the soap opera lead and the rest of the cast give such flat, monotone readings I was questioning if Shadowman was suppose to be a comic parody of the horror film genera. Nope! It's not clever and self aware like Scream, it's just horrible.
Next time Skyler get a dialogue coach and a monster that does more then stands in the corner of the room like a virgin at the senior prom.
Assassin's Creed
(2016)
Grail Legend for Dummies
26 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I will confess I haven't played Assassin's Creed but I have seen enough movies based on games to know bad when I see it. The original Silent Hill film was o.k., even Battleship was more entertaining then this yappy bore.
Here Michael Fassbender plays Cal Lynch, a convicted murderer who, at the start of the film is experiencing a little Texas justice. Much to his surprise, instead of shuffling off to angel town he wakes to discover he has been hijacked by the Knights Templar, those go to bad guys used by any lazy screenwriter who can't spell Illuminati.
Heading up Big Evil is sexy Marion Cotillard with visits by Jeremy Irons and his accent. Seems they snagged Cal because he is the decedent of a super 15th century assassin who was a member of the - you guessed it - Assassins Creed! That's the name of the film!
Marion and friends want to use science to scan Cals DNA so they can recover the memories of his ancestor and locate a secret item that will end all of the violence in the world.
Did I mention the plot is remarkably stupid? Turbo stupid.
Anyway, the movie takes us from our present to flashbacks of 15th century Spain with lots of rooftop running and other acrobatics that must be featured in the game. These sequences are o.k. as are the fights, but they get pretty repetitive pretty quick.
Back at home we meet a group of supporting characters who, like Cal, have recovered the memories of their past warrior ancestors and, like Cal, they somehow take on the various skill sets of these dead assassins and yada, yada, yada, none of them matter, we don't even learn most of their names.
The 2 hour (!) chase to recover the 'artifact'- I won't tell you what it is it's just too moronic, trust me, you don't want to know - ends with a brief and pretty anti-climatic final at the London Templar Hall.
Final thought, if the 'device' can end all violence why didn't the Creed use it themselves and ensure world peace? Or did they suppress it because an end of violence would mean the end of their order?
Details..
Here Michael Fassbender plays Cal Lynch, a convicted murderer who, at the start of the film is experiencing a little Texas justice. Much to his surprise, instead of shuffling off to angel town he wakes to discover he has been hijacked by the Knights Templar, those go to bad guys used by any lazy screenwriter who can't spell Illuminati.
Heading up Big Evil is sexy Marion Cotillard with visits by Jeremy Irons and his accent. Seems they snagged Cal because he is the decedent of a super 15th century assassin who was a member of the - you guessed it - Assassins Creed! That's the name of the film!
Marion and friends want to use science to scan Cals DNA so they can recover the memories of his ancestor and locate a secret item that will end all of the violence in the world.
Did I mention the plot is remarkably stupid? Turbo stupid.
Anyway, the movie takes us from our present to flashbacks of 15th century Spain with lots of rooftop running and other acrobatics that must be featured in the game. These sequences are o.k. as are the fights, but they get pretty repetitive pretty quick.
Back at home we meet a group of supporting characters who, like Cal, have recovered the memories of their past warrior ancestors and, like Cal, they somehow take on the various skill sets of these dead assassins and yada, yada, yada, none of them matter, we don't even learn most of their names.
The 2 hour (!) chase to recover the 'artifact'- I won't tell you what it is it's just too moronic, trust me, you don't want to know - ends with a brief and pretty anti-climatic final at the London Templar Hall.
Final thought, if the 'device' can end all violence why didn't the Creed use it themselves and ensure world peace? Or did they suppress it because an end of violence would mean the end of their order?
Details..
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
(2016)
Out of Reach
12 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I've never read any of the Jack Reacher books but after the first movie I was tempted. The cliché 'Lone wolf looking for justice on his terms' character was elevated thanks to a decent performance by Tom Cruise and a pretty nifty mystery.
The second film, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - has a more then ironic title.
The somewhat elaborate but still satisfying mystery of the first film is replaced here with the familiar formula of 'Kill all the bad guys until you reach the main bad guy.' Fresh!
Speaking of dull, it was decided at some point that this action film needed a side story including a long lost daughter. Maybe to give it heart, make it more human, attract fifteen year old brats with daddy issues or to just make it less fun. Hard to say.
Idiot daughter lives in an emotional vacuum, she witnesses violent death in one scene then whines about how nobody respects her in the next. At no point does she seem to process the fact that her life is in danger and just maybe Cruise is telling her what to do so she won't, you know, die. From bullets. Cause he's a soldier and maybe knows about these things.
The real let down here is I continually got ahead of the characters. When supposedly smart people can't work out how the main villain is paying his bills by importing 'something' from the middle east you know there's a problem. Hummm..what could they smuggle back from Syria that is valuable enough to save a billion dollar company? Might rhyme with weroine!
How Cruise go talked into slapping the Jack Reacher name onto this third rate script I don't know.
Watch any action movie from the 1970s-80s instead of this snoozer.
The second film, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back - has a more then ironic title.
The somewhat elaborate but still satisfying mystery of the first film is replaced here with the familiar formula of 'Kill all the bad guys until you reach the main bad guy.' Fresh!
Speaking of dull, it was decided at some point that this action film needed a side story including a long lost daughter. Maybe to give it heart, make it more human, attract fifteen year old brats with daddy issues or to just make it less fun. Hard to say.
Idiot daughter lives in an emotional vacuum, she witnesses violent death in one scene then whines about how nobody respects her in the next. At no point does she seem to process the fact that her life is in danger and just maybe Cruise is telling her what to do so she won't, you know, die. From bullets. Cause he's a soldier and maybe knows about these things.
The real let down here is I continually got ahead of the characters. When supposedly smart people can't work out how the main villain is paying his bills by importing 'something' from the middle east you know there's a problem. Hummm..what could they smuggle back from Syria that is valuable enough to save a billion dollar company? Might rhyme with weroine!
How Cruise go talked into slapping the Jack Reacher name onto this third rate script I don't know.
Watch any action movie from the 1970s-80s instead of this snoozer.
Stalker
(1979)
Fodder for the Film School Fops
14 August 2016
Stalker is one of those 'important' films that people who call movies films are very serious about. I mean, they LOVE Stalker and if you don't LOVE Stalker the way they LOVE Stalker it's because you don't UNDERSTAND Stalker. As in, you like spolsions and car chases and all those western cinema (oh, they call movies cinema a lot as well) clichés while they appreciate mood and lighting and probably opera.
So, to be clear, I understand Stalker. I understand the journey the characters undertake and why. I just wish they arrived at someplace a little bit more - ambitious.
The fun takes place in a future time in an unnamed country (Estonia). One day, a meteor strike destroys most of a small community and leaves behind a danger zone called 'The Zone'. The cool thing about the Zone is the rules of reality don't apply there and it even features a special room called 'The Room' which grants wishes! Highbrow!
That's all preamble, the story proper begins with the title character Stalker saying good-bye to his very unhappy wife and setting off on his latest guided tour of the Zone. The two members of his party referred to simply as 'The Writer' and 'The Professor', cause, you know, names are dumb, both hope the Room will grant them what their hearts desire, in their cases to be relevant and famous.
The journey that follows is populated with series of long conversations about the meaning of life. Interesting I guess, except the topics soon become repetitive and the mood sullen. These are not nice people. The Writer stating all human actions are selfish except for the creation of art is as debatable and it is smug. The Stalker claims his motives for guiding people through the Zone are purely altruistic yet he routinely sends his clients in first when exploring a dangerous path while he brings up the rear. And the Professor has a hidden agenda which I won't spoil for you because if you make it to the third act you deserve some sort of reward.
At about the 60 minute mark it became clear to me Stalker was going to be about the ride and not the destination. That's fine and as other reviewers have said it is a very, very pretty film to look at I just wish the characters had moved beyond the trite 'What's it all about anyway?' Sunday afternoon coffee shop chit chat and actually tried to come up with some answers for themselves.
Near the end of the film Starkers party is able to deduce (based on nothing) what the Room really offers people. This reveal serves the plot but it's no great insight into the human condition. It certainly isn't worth the 2 hour wait it took to get there.
So, to be clear, I understand Stalker. I understand the journey the characters undertake and why. I just wish they arrived at someplace a little bit more - ambitious.
The fun takes place in a future time in an unnamed country (Estonia). One day, a meteor strike destroys most of a small community and leaves behind a danger zone called 'The Zone'. The cool thing about the Zone is the rules of reality don't apply there and it even features a special room called 'The Room' which grants wishes! Highbrow!
That's all preamble, the story proper begins with the title character Stalker saying good-bye to his very unhappy wife and setting off on his latest guided tour of the Zone. The two members of his party referred to simply as 'The Writer' and 'The Professor', cause, you know, names are dumb, both hope the Room will grant them what their hearts desire, in their cases to be relevant and famous.
The journey that follows is populated with series of long conversations about the meaning of life. Interesting I guess, except the topics soon become repetitive and the mood sullen. These are not nice people. The Writer stating all human actions are selfish except for the creation of art is as debatable and it is smug. The Stalker claims his motives for guiding people through the Zone are purely altruistic yet he routinely sends his clients in first when exploring a dangerous path while he brings up the rear. And the Professor has a hidden agenda which I won't spoil for you because if you make it to the third act you deserve some sort of reward.
At about the 60 minute mark it became clear to me Stalker was going to be about the ride and not the destination. That's fine and as other reviewers have said it is a very, very pretty film to look at I just wish the characters had moved beyond the trite 'What's it all about anyway?' Sunday afternoon coffee shop chit chat and actually tried to come up with some answers for themselves.
Near the end of the film Starkers party is able to deduce (based on nothing) what the Room really offers people. This reveal serves the plot but it's no great insight into the human condition. It certainly isn't worth the 2 hour wait it took to get there.
Sabotage
(2014)
Darker More Serious Arnie Outing Worth a Look!
9 August 2014
Sabotage. Arnold is the leader of a crack team of DEA agents who have spent much of their time going under cover to fight the cartels. Well that's nothing new. Oh, his team are made up of basically the same obnoxious, macho bores we see in ever team special forces type movie. (Hello 'Expendables') As if that wasn't cookie cutter enough, Arnie is coping with the loss of his family who died, well, badly. Expect blood. Can revenge be far behind?? Again standard 'Commando' hijinks.
So why do I give it an 8? Because this film takes a comic book idea and gives it some depth. Our boy is a deeply damaged sole leading troubled people on a not-so-happy journey. With lots of blood, like I said.
It is grim, a little slow and borderline awesome.
First, my one real peeve with this film is it's bloody. I mean victims discovered with their intestines pulled out bloody. Graphic, ugly gore that adds nothing to the mystery and really just distracts the viewer.
Now the good points. Some pretty fine acting, writing, a decent mystery and seeing Arnold step slightly out of type for once was a nice surprise. The last point is maybe the most important, Sabotage reminds us Arnold has range, he can put the gun down for a few minutes and still be interesting. An example is the way he broke away from his action films in the early 90s and started doing comedies.
I lot of people don't like this film because, well it has problems, but mostly it wasn't what they were expecting. Give it chance. OR wait a month for 'Fast and Furious 26 - Racing in Racine' to come out on video. It will be what you're expecting I read in the trivia section the director submitted two endings that were both rejected and replaced with a more familiar 'justice be done climax.' Too bad.
So why do I give it an 8? Because this film takes a comic book idea and gives it some depth. Our boy is a deeply damaged sole leading troubled people on a not-so-happy journey. With lots of blood, like I said.
It is grim, a little slow and borderline awesome.
First, my one real peeve with this film is it's bloody. I mean victims discovered with their intestines pulled out bloody. Graphic, ugly gore that adds nothing to the mystery and really just distracts the viewer.
Now the good points. Some pretty fine acting, writing, a decent mystery and seeing Arnold step slightly out of type for once was a nice surprise. The last point is maybe the most important, Sabotage reminds us Arnold has range, he can put the gun down for a few minutes and still be interesting. An example is the way he broke away from his action films in the early 90s and started doing comedies.
I lot of people don't like this film because, well it has problems, but mostly it wasn't what they were expecting. Give it chance. OR wait a month for 'Fast and Furious 26 - Racing in Racine' to come out on video. It will be what you're expecting I read in the trivia section the director submitted two endings that were both rejected and replaced with a more familiar 'justice be done climax.' Too bad.
Stay
(I) (2005)
Boring Art School Thriller Wastes Great Cast, Arbitrary Ending
17 February 2014
I had never heard of 'Stay' before finding it in the $2.99 bin at my local video store but, just based on the cast (Bob Hoskins!) and the assurance on the back of the box the film was an 'Edge of your seat thriller!' I slapped down my money.
'Stay' focuses on Ewen McGregor a New York psychiatrist who inherits depressed college student Ryan Gosling from another doctor. Naomi Watts turns up now and again as Ewens former patient now girlfriend but her character has so little to do you can pretty much forget about her. Sorry Naomi! 'The Ring' was awesome!
Anyhow, the film plods along for the first 20 minutes in an unremarkable but serviceable way eventually hinting this new patient might be a threat to himself and others.
Then it gets silly.
You see, for some reason that is only explained at the end, Dr. Ewen starts to become paranoid and begins to lose his grip on reality.
'Stay' sets aside character development and, you know, actual thrills, and instead employs some pretty obvious editing and camera devices designed to make us feel a sort of disassociation with what's happening on screen. Lots of sudden cuts, images and events repeated, jerky camera work, you know, like they teach you in first year film school. Only not as good.
That's the film.
The really annoying thing about any movie that employs a gimmick as a major plot device is when the viewer takes the time to develop theories as to what's going on it would be nice to see some kind of logical conclusion. Not so in this case. The final reveal feels like, as I state in the title line, an arbitrary choice at best, a cop out at worst. One of several options just chosen at random giving no deeper insight into the characters, their world or life in general.
A clumsy attempt at a film genre that is clearly beyond the film maker's talents.
Rent 'The Ring' instead.
'Stay' focuses on Ewen McGregor a New York psychiatrist who inherits depressed college student Ryan Gosling from another doctor. Naomi Watts turns up now and again as Ewens former patient now girlfriend but her character has so little to do you can pretty much forget about her. Sorry Naomi! 'The Ring' was awesome!
Anyhow, the film plods along for the first 20 minutes in an unremarkable but serviceable way eventually hinting this new patient might be a threat to himself and others.
Then it gets silly.
You see, for some reason that is only explained at the end, Dr. Ewen starts to become paranoid and begins to lose his grip on reality.
'Stay' sets aside character development and, you know, actual thrills, and instead employs some pretty obvious editing and camera devices designed to make us feel a sort of disassociation with what's happening on screen. Lots of sudden cuts, images and events repeated, jerky camera work, you know, like they teach you in first year film school. Only not as good.
That's the film.
The really annoying thing about any movie that employs a gimmick as a major plot device is when the viewer takes the time to develop theories as to what's going on it would be nice to see some kind of logical conclusion. Not so in this case. The final reveal feels like, as I state in the title line, an arbitrary choice at best, a cop out at worst. One of several options just chosen at random giving no deeper insight into the characters, their world or life in general.
A clumsy attempt at a film genre that is clearly beyond the film maker's talents.
Rent 'The Ring' instead.
Storage Wars Canada
(2013–2016)
Storage Wars Canada a Fake? YYYYYYYYYUUUPPPP!!!!
3 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
A year or so ago Dave Hester shocked (maybe not) the world with the news that hit A&E reality series 'Storage Wars' routinely salted storage lockers with valuable items for bidders to 'find' while on camera.
Now, the spin off Storage Wars Canada has followed suit by salting lockers after only being in production a few months.
I sat down with someone close to the show who explained people from the production would arrive at the storage site the day before shooting with items to be found then the actors - sorry, bidders, arrive the next day to discover treasure in the trash.
It seems everyone, the crew, production company, even the storage sites know everything about the show is faked for the camera.
I'm told in an upcoming episode set in Scarborough, Ontario a locker containing a Dracula mask might be hiding something else. O.k., it's another safe. I know, Storage Wars stopped doing safes years ago but this is Canada.
Now, the spin off Storage Wars Canada has followed suit by salting lockers after only being in production a few months.
I sat down with someone close to the show who explained people from the production would arrive at the storage site the day before shooting with items to be found then the actors - sorry, bidders, arrive the next day to discover treasure in the trash.
It seems everyone, the crew, production company, even the storage sites know everything about the show is faked for the camera.
I'm told in an upcoming episode set in Scarborough, Ontario a locker containing a Dracula mask might be hiding something else. O.k., it's another safe. I know, Storage Wars stopped doing safes years ago but this is Canada.
In Their Skin
(2012)
Brief Nudity and Slow Pacing Does Not A Thriller Make
28 July 2013
Warning: Spoilers
First off, I know this film has been compared to a lot of other similar movies but, since I haven't seen any of them, I will be judging this one on it's own merit. It's not very good. 'In Their Skin' presents us with a professional couple attempting to move past a recent family tragedy. Together with their 8 year old son and faithful golden retriever they retreat to a pretty spiffy, secluded home in the woods. What follows is a good 25 minutes of awkward PG-13 sex, minimal plot advancement and lots of moody scenes that all pretty much say 'I blame you for the pain I'm in'. Dry stuff. Finally (thankfully!) a trio of creepy neighbors appear and the thrilling really begins! Sort of. Here's the problem - If the invaders were just that, home invaders victimizing the people they randomly came across then fine, o.k., simple but plausible. But no. Instead, we are asked to believe the main villain played by James D'Arcy who, I'm just going to say it, is basically impersonating Bruce Dern throughout most of the movie, which is fine, but we already have a Bruce Dern, we are asked to believe he is actually attempting some complicated identity theft scheme that was worked out way in advance. And this is idiotic. Like most junior Mansonites these three all have problems with impulse control and clearly don't have the means or follow through to execute such a long term plan. I will admit the pacing does improve in the 3rd act and there are some tense moments but they are too few and too far in between. A lot of film school students might tell you otherwise, but there is nothing deep or introspective about a series of meandering scenes that lead to an arbitrary climax that could have occurred 40 minutes sooner. And just to save me the time of adding a note under the IMDb 'goofs' section I'll end with a simple question. How did they finally call 911? Check out 'Cabin In the Woods' More thrills, a few laughs, much better choice!!
The Internship
(2013)
Google Commercial Disguised as Heartwarming Buddy Comedy
8 June 2013
First off, like most of you, I loved Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson in Wedding Crashers and like most of you, I went into The Internship hoping for more of the same.
What I found was a very safe, very by the numbers 'under dog' story featuring two ageing salesman trying to start over in the tragically cool world of Google employment.
Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson are two veteran pitchmen who learn their current company has just gone out of business and, in a reality only Hollywood could create, there are no other sales jobs anywhere in the universe! We know this because Vince spends 3 minutes using Google (not Workopolis or Monster??) to find a new gig only to have a sudden and unexplained epiphany that the search engine he's using to find a job IS the job. Deep.
What follows is a stock plot about the seniors taking on a group of outcast geek interns and teaching them to party, keep it real and - this is new - there is more to life than computers.
The film, written by Vaughn, plays it very safe, heartwarming feel good lessons replace well, comedy.
On the positive side, if you want to learn A LOT about the hipster, self absorbed world of Google this film is for you. Nowhere is the mega company joked about, ridiculed, parodied or in anyway presented as anything other than the ideal final destination for everyone on the planet who wants to ride silly colored bicycles and waste their lives typing code.
Rent Dodgeball. A FUNNY Vaughn movie with the same plot.
What I found was a very safe, very by the numbers 'under dog' story featuring two ageing salesman trying to start over in the tragically cool world of Google employment.
Vince Vaughn and Luke Wilson are two veteran pitchmen who learn their current company has just gone out of business and, in a reality only Hollywood could create, there are no other sales jobs anywhere in the universe! We know this because Vince spends 3 minutes using Google (not Workopolis or Monster??) to find a new gig only to have a sudden and unexplained epiphany that the search engine he's using to find a job IS the job. Deep.
What follows is a stock plot about the seniors taking on a group of outcast geek interns and teaching them to party, keep it real and - this is new - there is more to life than computers.
The film, written by Vaughn, plays it very safe, heartwarming feel good lessons replace well, comedy.
On the positive side, if you want to learn A LOT about the hipster, self absorbed world of Google this film is for you. Nowhere is the mega company joked about, ridiculed, parodied or in anyway presented as anything other than the ideal final destination for everyone on the planet who wants to ride silly colored bicycles and waste their lives typing code.
Rent Dodgeball. A FUNNY Vaughn movie with the same plot.
Howie Do It
(2008–2009)
Usual Howie Garbage!
23 July 2011
I had the displeasure of being in the audience for this show, basically, a ripoff of Candid Camera where real life people would be set up by Howie and, in this case, other family members.
I won't bore you with the details but of the 4 separate families we had to sit through 3 misfired, in other words the victim, instead of getting upset and crazy which seemed to be the point, kept their composure and decided as a family they would work through it. Big credit to the victims, no credit for idiot Howie.
The final target was so upset she started crying and became so hysterical she had to be seen to by the set medic. Big laughs there.
Mandel has never been much of a talent and this pathetic, badly written outing shows how only 'Canadian content' rules set down by the CRTC keeps losers like this on the air.
Avoid at all costs!!
I won't bore you with the details but of the 4 separate families we had to sit through 3 misfired, in other words the victim, instead of getting upset and crazy which seemed to be the point, kept their composure and decided as a family they would work through it. Big credit to the victims, no credit for idiot Howie.
The final target was so upset she started crying and became so hysterical she had to be seen to by the set medic. Big laughs there.
Mandel has never been much of a talent and this pathetic, badly written outing shows how only 'Canadian content' rules set down by the CRTC keeps losers like this on the air.
Avoid at all costs!!
Testament
(1983)
Maudlin Mush
26 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I first saw this film back in '83 and I think for people who didn't grow up during the Cold War era this could be looked at as just another disaster film of the angry alien or global warming melting glaciers variety. The difference is, this could have really happened. People get up, leave for work on a normal day and then, in the middle of Sesame Street, the world just ends.
Testament focuses on the lives of one family in a small California town surviving this fate. The tag line on the film stressed it was a 'realistic account' of how things might be after a nuclear war. No explosions or Mad Max violence, just regular people deciding 'What now?' The first half of the film deals with this pretty well and the family members are sympathetic and likable. The problem that I have, have always had with Testament, is act 2.
After a few weeks of living with the shock of what has happened the family begins confronting their grief and the realization that the television isn't going to be coming back nor will the Red Cross be dropping by with coffee and blankets. They are on their own. Forever.
Oh, and radioactive fallout has started making everyone sick.
So what does our leading lady do? As the mother of her 3 kids plus several newly orphaned neighbour children does she load up the Volvo wagon with her family and supplies and head to Canada?
No. She does not.
Instead she goes to increasingly futile town meetings and talent shows. Her narrative is concerned with how people in the future will remember how they (the town) lived, not about surviving for another day. She rattles around her house as people start dying around her and the filmmaker wants us to see this as noble.
The message of Testment isn't 'The human spirit overcoming terrible odds' or 'Strength of family will get you through' or even 'Modern science will doom us all.' No. The message here seems to be 'Die with dignity.' And that, it would seem, includes those dependant on you.
Given the option I would rather be Mad Max.
Testament focuses on the lives of one family in a small California town surviving this fate. The tag line on the film stressed it was a 'realistic account' of how things might be after a nuclear war. No explosions or Mad Max violence, just regular people deciding 'What now?' The first half of the film deals with this pretty well and the family members are sympathetic and likable. The problem that I have, have always had with Testament, is act 2.
After a few weeks of living with the shock of what has happened the family begins confronting their grief and the realization that the television isn't going to be coming back nor will the Red Cross be dropping by with coffee and blankets. They are on their own. Forever.
Oh, and radioactive fallout has started making everyone sick.
So what does our leading lady do? As the mother of her 3 kids plus several newly orphaned neighbour children does she load up the Volvo wagon with her family and supplies and head to Canada?
No. She does not.
Instead she goes to increasingly futile town meetings and talent shows. Her narrative is concerned with how people in the future will remember how they (the town) lived, not about surviving for another day. She rattles around her house as people start dying around her and the filmmaker wants us to see this as noble.
The message of Testment isn't 'The human spirit overcoming terrible odds' or 'Strength of family will get you through' or even 'Modern science will doom us all.' No. The message here seems to be 'Die with dignity.' And that, it would seem, includes those dependant on you.
Given the option I would rather be Mad Max.
Top Gear USA
(2008–2016)
Missed Gear
1 April 2011
A direct copy of the popular UK original of the same name this car show is anything but exciting. The bland hosts - an Italian guy, a fat guy with glasses and another guy who isn't Italian nor fat with glasses have no chemistry with each other nor do they seem to know much about cars. During the pilot episode a review of the Dodge Viper replaced terms like 'under steer' and 'torc' with 'It goes fast'. Fascinating.
The stunts and format are all taken from the original show hinting how out of ideas the US version is from the start. It comes across as a slapped together attempt to cash in on the wildly successful original. It lacks passion or as Jeremy from Top Gear UK would say 'An X-factor'.
My question is who is this show for? The original Top Gear has been running for 16 seasons and is seen all over the world. Any car lover already knows it so why would they watch a stale copy? Park it and leave it.
The stunts and format are all taken from the original show hinting how out of ideas the US version is from the start. It comes across as a slapped together attempt to cash in on the wildly successful original. It lacks passion or as Jeremy from Top Gear UK would say 'An X-factor'.
My question is who is this show for? The original Top Gear has been running for 16 seasons and is seen all over the world. Any car lover already knows it so why would they watch a stale copy? Park it and leave it.
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