alainavalentine Reviews

First Reformed (2017)

Soggy potatoes, weak sauce

[19 March 2024]

Ultimate snoozefest. Nap city.

It could have been so much more wildly interestimg. Slow, slow, slow start to finish and the ending makes literally zero sense.

Colorless.

Interesting climate change information and the one thing this film did well was emphasize the gravity of the situation.

Why did the environmental message have to be utterly drowned in Christianity as a setting-not even as a key factor in the plot-just a really irritating, boring setting.

What was the point??

I was so excited because of the rating and critical acclaim. Just goes to show how much critics know about what makes a movie good.

Often they are just plain wrong. I fast forwarded through some of it and it was still on the same scene.

I'm going to bed now.

I'll never get those two hours back.

Not cool, man. Hard pass.

A Million Little Pieces (2018)

Raw as addiction is

[9/10 · 29 November 2022]

I can't comprehend anyone giving this below a 7 rating. If I put myself in the shoes of non-addicts the acting was superb, the cast was flawlessly selected, the cinematography was vulnerable and intimate. These are things that make a fantastic movie.

In the shoes of an addict the stakes are real, the rehab scenarios were true to life, the relationships portrayed within the realm of a rehab as well as between fellow addicts in recovery and family members watching recovery from the outside with bated breath were all painfully accurate.

It's ridiculous that any sort of "scandal" surrounding the factual integrity of the book should affect a persons interpretation and appreciation of the book or the movie based on the book.

I hadn't checked the cast before watching the movie. I'd read the book years ago and as soon as I saw the title and the cover photo I knew exactly what it was and had to watch it immediately.

This is my favorite work yet of Aaron Taylor-Johnson Yet another movie during which the presence of Billy Bob Thornton was a pleasant surprise. Over the years I've come to find him to be a severely under-appreciated actor. He continues to amaze me with his sensitivity and wise delivery.

Every actor in this movie nailed it.

While this movie can easily be triggering for anyone to whom the story strikes home, it also has a way of telling you what you need to hear of hope and self-forgiveness.

Hope in general.

Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)

Society needs more movies like this.

[9/10 · 19 November 2022]

"Good Luck To You, Leo Grande" is a marvel of a movie and an important one as it normalizes the sexuality of mature women in a very sentimental and real way.

It turned out to go a bit deeper than the sexual surface level the plot would suggest, pulling on the heart strings in an unexpected way.

It also celebrates the beauty of a woman's body at any age. The brave vulnerability of Emma Thompsom and Daryl McCormack in the parts they played in order to accomplish this is respectable and endearing.

I also really appreciated the chosen representation of sex work in scripted discussions as it could be in it's most progressive and safe form.

Come for quite a few laughs-a gift that only a good script and appropriate delivery can give-and maybe even a few tears (if you're a sap like me).

My hope is that this movie is the first domino to fall in a row of many to come that celebrate sexuality throughout the lifespan and acceptance of sexuality in even it's more taboo forms.

Possessor (2020)

Grab a barf bag

[9/10 · 21 September 2022]

Easily one of the most graphic, disturbing movies I've ever seen. I laughed when I found out David Cronenberg's son is responsible. Of course he is!

If you don't cringe at all during this movie you have a stomach of solid steel. Every occurrence of violence was as excessive as humanly possible. I couldn't keep my eyes on the screen for their full duration. And if you think it can't get worse? Ohhh no. Buckle your seatbelts, kids.

Body horror aside, this movie is what sci-fi should be. It sets the bar high for every sci-fi movie I'll see to come. Unlike most mind bending movies the plot of Possessor is so simple it left nothing but room for overindulgence in every other aspect. It manages to be mind bending solely by illustrating two minds fraying and unraveling in one body. The acting felt natural and real, making it easy to sympathize with the characters who suffered and crystal clear how depraved and vile and evil the human beings responsible were.

The cinematography was stunning. I found myself unsettled and awestruck all at once.

Some of the imagery is unlike anything I've ever seen and I really wonder how some of it was accomplished.

This movie feels like watching a car crash in slow motion, being unable to stop it and stuck in the moment until it's over.

This movie feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from.

Brandon Cronenberg has proven that the apple does not fall far from the tree.

He's made his dad proud with this one, I'm sure.

The Desperate Hour (2021)

Lolll

[3/10 · 16 August 2022]

Watch Naomi Watts job for an eternity, discover the news and proceed to make everything much much worse. The only part that is god is the end. But that's only because any human with empathy can understand that this stuff happens all the time and it hurts to know that.

Naked Lunch (1991)

Hard to choose between a 7 and an 8.

[8/10 · 14 August 2022]

Leaning towards 7 would be out of pure disgust. Leaning towards 8 would out of pure respect for the writing. The writing is not Cronenberg's so his film can't be credited for being well written but Cronenberg's choices in lines to use and the way he delivered a story as disturbing as this one was perfect. It is a disturbing story. He made it look as disturbing as I'm sure it felt to read it. At times, if you can get past the unsettled sinking feeling you have right from it's chaotic, jazzy beginning you may even find it funny. For being so ridiculous and outlandish the film still feels very serious. The acting is serious. The view of addiction is serious. It is very dark. Very unsettling. Very much worth watching once. Twice if you're feeling crazy.

I'm writing this review after my second viewing. I wanted to show a friend of mine this crazy, disturbing movie I saw one time because I had a feeling he'd like it. He totally did! He actually laughed a lot throughout. So I guess it hits different people in different ways.

If you've ever struggled with addiction this movie may resonate with you in ways that you can laugh at or ways that repel you and make it hard to get through.

Turns out my friend was a fan of David Cronenberg already and just had yet to see Naked Lunch. I'm now watching the first of several of his Cronenberg recommendations: Videodrome. So far it's really great. Same sort of effects and heavily sci-fi in nature, but much more pleasant to look at and none of that unsettling jazz music that drove me absolutely insane. Still dark and disturbing but in my kind of enjoyable, digestible way.

Anyone curious about my friends recommendation (since his first is turning out so awesome) they were Videodrome, eXistenz, Crimes of the Future.

Thoroughbreds (2017)

The sociopath is the star of this movie.

[6/10 · 10 August 2022]

Olivia Coke's portrayal of a sociopath is the best part of this movie. The soundtrack is bizarre and slightly unsettling. This movie has a monotonous feeling about it that I generally don't like but it serves the purpose of setting the tone of the main character being stuck in a boring, repetitive nightmare.

Other than that the movie is mainly just mildly intriguing and somehow hard to stop watching.

It's an interesting premise for a movie and I'm glad it was made. It's nice to watch something fresh and different.

The Babadook (2014)

Why do people like this movie?

[3/10 · 3 August 2022]

I hated every second of this movie.

It was just dumb to me on every level. The kid was annoying af. The mom refused to regain control of him. Just letting him screaaam and kiiiick and her response just crying and doing nothing UUUUGHHH The main characters suck. I thought it was annoying, cheesy. The only cool thing was the book itself. Like artistically, it was creepy and cool. But that's a prop in the movie. It's nowhere near enough to make it a good movie.

I will never watch it again.

Get Out (I) (2017)

Everything a horror film should be.

[10/10 · 3 August 2022]

This is a movie I will return to again and again. I've now seen it several times. The acting is stellar. It keeps the viewer in a constant state of discomfort and anxiety. The racial aspects are appealing and would draw compassion l, fear, sadness and disgust out of anyone. The end is INCREDIBLY satisfying. The mega-twist was one I never saw coming and that's largely because of how great the acting was. I labeled this review as containing spoilers only because sometimes the mere mention of a twist makes me look for one and then the twist is ruined. The cinematography is just beautiful. I just adore this movie. I adore Jordan Peele's work. He really understands suspense and the horror/psych thriller genre so well. I look forward to enjoying his future work.

X (II) (2022)

Unexpected pleasant surprise!

[10/10 · 12 June 2022]

The movie X is a 10 star horror movie. CInematography is beautiful and sickening when it needs to be, unsettling in all the right ways, while still sexually charged causing emotional disarray. Stellar soundtrack. Good acting. Also starring Kid Cudi and who doesn't want more of him in every possible creative medium. Not for younger kids. It's about porn stars making porn at the wroooong location. It's also a comedy. Come to think of it I think it's the best horror comedy I've ever seen because it doesn't lean more towards comedy but falls right in the middle and executes both ends of the spectrum beautifully.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

A deeply unsettling masterpiece

[10/10 · 4 November 2021]

I felt SO disturbed and confused and stressed out right to the end.

I've never seen anything quite like it. I had no clue what I was getting myself into when I started the movie (thought it would be about a cocky pilot or something) so the shock of the plot had a lot to do with my reaction I'm sure. Nevertheless, mind bending is a nail on the head description of this movie.

The Greatest Showman (2017)

Perfection

[10/10 · 19 October 2021]

The music in this movie really gets to me. The story, thanks to the skilled actors portraying it, is just moving and tender and vulnerable. I went in unsure if I'd like it. (I'm veeery picky about musicals.) By the end of the second song, A Million Dreams, I had tears in my eyes. I was like what the hell have I walked into!? It's been five minutes and I'm all weepy! From there it just got better and better with the introduction of every character and every song and dance. This movie checks all of my boxes. Touching, inspiring and aesthetically beautiful. Most important, MEMORABLE.

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

Don't bother

[2/10 · 8 October 2021]

It seemed promising at first but then was too slow to keep the suspense palpable. I laughed a couple of times at the sarcasm of the camera crew.

I found it absolutely ludacris that every medical professional and loved one waited months to even consider restraining the many times over violent, self harming, sleep walking, sharp-object-wielding victim of Alzheimer's.

We were about three quarters of the way through when we decided this movie is terrible.

Then it got worse.

The "climax" of the film contains a whole lot happening as nothing much happens.

And may I just say that no one-freaking no one-would crawl into a body sized tunnel filled with snakes and live to tell the tale.

The trailer makes hefty promises that it doesn't end up keeping.

The concept was intriguing but it the film could have been executed better.

The Fare (I) (2018)

Pure gold

[10/10 · 19 September 2021]

I expected mystery and intrigue. Everything else was a beautiful and moving, bittersweet surprise. You want a twist? You'll get one. You want heartwarming? Consider that box checked. Perhaps shed a tear? It's possible.

What a hidden gem. Just WOW.

It's a modern twilight zone love story.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Freakin AWESOME!

[8/10 · 17 September 2021]

The plot was just so unexpected and i was satisfied in every single way. This movie is pure metal.

The Mist (2007)

Sooooo...wow

[8/10 · 16 September 2021]

With forgiveness for the aged CGI and aside from one or two moments of that inescapable frustration of the actions-or lack of them-of the characters, I found this movie to be pretty frikkin awesome.

But it gets REALLLLLY dark at one point. I was NOT ready! Which is why it was so great!

Chappie (2015)

Love at first watch

[10/10 · 13 September 2021]

I'm only reviewing this now after seeing it god only knows how many times. I saw it 3 times in theatres! I enjoy it every time I watch it.

This movie has a depth that I wasn't expecting that shows through in Chappie's development and learning about life from start to finish. The cast is excellent.

I hqppen to love South African culture and also Die Antwoord so a chance for me to see more of them and more of those beautiful South African accents was a joy. The soundtrack is full of their music and I would have bern VERY upset if it wasn't.

The ending is awesome and a sequel would be much appreciated!

Dementer (2019)

Good reviews for what reason exactly?

[3/10 · 25 August 2021]

Aside from loving and supporting the fact that the film features many disabled individuals, I thought the rest of what I was able to see of the film was bad in ways that are difficult to describe. From my understaning it wad an independent film and I went in with that in mind and tried to be understanding of the low budget. But the flashbacks were really cheesy the way they were edited. The score was the thump of either a drum or a bass guitar followed by what sounded like loose change jingling (which actually could have sounded pretty cool if there had just been some reverb added to it to make what the sounds were more ambiguous). I had a BIG problem with the voice of the man doing the countdown in a cheesy aouthern accent. And the words he said were equally cheesy. I was prepared to be terrified based on what an article listing best new horror films had to say about it. Instead I was so put off by the quality of the first quarter of it that I coulsnt bear to sit through another minute of it despite having payed 6 bucks to rent it and I never rent anything for that much for fear of being disappointed-ironically, like i was with Dementer. I am still interested in seeing how it plays out though, so if it ever becomes available on Netflix or something I'll put it on for some background entertainment while I'm putting away my clean laundry or something but until then, I'll just have to wonder if the film ever pulled itself together in the end.