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lizzyispink
Reviews
The Girl (1996)
Thornton deserved better
Peasant woman and daughter Hannah are squatting in a shed in the woods bump into kindly neighbor Ned and his grandad. He takes them to a nearby estate where mom tells lord of the manor the girl is his. He steps up and brings her into his home. Rarely is there a protagonist as unlikable as Hannah. She's selfish and spoilt, having no appreciation for the life provided by Thornton.
When old enough she is sent away to finishing school. Having learnt no skills or manners of any type, Hannah returns home apparently with no plans to contribute in any way but continues to enjoy the family's home and money. She refuses a good marriage, bringing dishonour to the family. Thornton is set up and meets an unfortunate end so Hannah is at the mercy of wife Anne, Thornton's frigid wench of a widow. When confronted with the reality that she can't freeload forever she agrees to marry the fat doltish butcher.
Disrespectful, cold and rude to hubby and MIL,and treated appropriately for such behaviour, she whines and complains to long suffering friend Ned who is inexplicably in love with her. Why he loves her is a mystery, as she has done naught but use him to dump her problems on when her impertinence gets her into a bind. But suddenly she loves him too. Not hard to figure out where things go from here.
How Ned can want to be with her after the bear trap incident (which evidently caused paralysis) and the encounter with her her simpleton hubby is perplexing.
The costumes and sets are sufficient but nothing memorable, acting is mediocre but little could be done with such a dreadful script.
A Quiet Passion (2016)
Awk-ward di-a-logue
Not a single actor delivered dialogue naturally. Every character spoke in an oddly stiff and wooden manner. They all sounded like non-Americans, often non English speakers, trying (without any real desire) to sound American. It was like a bad SNL skit poking fun at the rigid, stodgy formality of the Victorian era. Utterly unwatchable. Not sure if it was the actors, the direction or the dialog, probably a combination of all. It was as if there was absolutely no direction and the first take was used- no editing or reshoots art all. Two stars for the attention to detail in the costumes, sets and hair/makeup.
Inside Man (2022)
Tenant should have known better than to get involved with Moffat
There should be a warning alerting viewers this is a Steven Moffat affair at the top of the screen along with the rating. Anyone familiar with his contribution to the downfall of Doctor Who would know to avoid this dreck.
Tucci, who is usually brilliant, is unable to shine due to the dire plot and dialogue. Tenant (who is usually brilliant as well), in the role of Harry the vicar, looks like he just popped into the studio to do his scenes, after being holed up at home for several months unable/unwilling to shave or see a barber. Harry continually makes unbelievable, extremely foolish, rash and pretty insane decisions. It's preposterous and would be laughable if this wasn't meant to be serious. In every scene Harry acts ludicrously and irrationally and the viewer will get a headache from all the eye rolling.
How is the freelance journalist able to travel to the US-who is funding her trip and why? To find a missing acquaintance when there is no police investigation? How did she find out about Grieff and his very implausible help in people's personal lives? Why would he agree to speak with a journalist who is upset over being ghosted? And what's up with the Sherlock/Watson death row duo? Why are they allowed to do visitations together? The plot holes bring up endless questions.
There are millions of ways to better spend four hours. Do something, anything, else.
The Call of the Wild (2020)
Human actors and CG dogs make a muddled mess of classic literature
This should not be titled "The Call of the Wild" as it has very little to do with Jack London's novel.
The main problem with this movie is the combination of human actors and CG dogs. There is no reason to do so, real dogs have been used successfully in countless movies (most recently in Disney's "Togo" which is very good). In typical Disney fashion the human characters, especially the villains, are over the top, which is fine for a cartoon but not appropriate for for the tone of the novel. Disney should have used either animation or live action, not both. It would have worked better either way.
American Horror Stories: Facelift (2022)
Nothing new here
Older woman wants to reclaim her youthful looks, has cosmetic surgery, it doesn't quite work out *yawn* The big reveal is stolen directly from a classic episode of The Twilight Zone. The twist was unnecessary, explained and unimaginative. The cast consists of only about five characters, none of whom are particularly likable, delivering overly simplistic dialogue rather unconvincingly. None of the actors (aside from Judith Light) give memorable performances. Ms Light deserves better than this rubbish. There are never thunder storms in socal, it's too comical for dramatic effect. Butterflies have four wings, not two.
Black Beauty (2020)
NOT Black Beauty!
Just a silly american girl-and-her-horse movie. Teenage girl meets "mustang" mare (which is impeccably groomed, has nice long flowing, mane and tail, perfectly trimmed feet, is a healthy weight and free of scars) and they bond. The only thing actually from the novel is a black horse with a white star who is able to narrate its life. Calling this dreck Black Beauty is misleading and an insult to Anna Sewell's work. It contains nothing about the harsh reality and heartache of a work horse's life which emphasized the bond between Joe and Beauty. No idea why Kate Winslet got involved with this rubbish.
American Mystery (2019)
Why Travel Channel, whyyy?!
The travel channel has become as much about travel as MTV is about music, they should change the name to the paranormal crackpot channel.
The self-proclaimed experts are nuttier than some of the folks on Ancient Aliens. The reenactments are are done with what seems to be quality equipment, but that is the only good thing about them. The acting is terrible and often has little to do with the story being told. It shows people in generic places and situations while telling a story about very specific and unusual things happening. Instead of using stock video of something similar to the actual events they have actors wandering about doing things completely at random. The narration dialogue is wrought with grammatical errors and inaccuracies about geography and history, it's so bad it seems as though it was ad-libbed at times. It's hard to believe that someone took the time to write out the narration, other people read it and approved it, somebody recorded it and everyone involved said "Yeah, that sounds good!" A grade school class could do a more thoroughly researched, better acted, accurate presentation. It really comes off as something that was made by a bunch of pot smoking high school dropouts in gran's basement.
The UnXplained (2019)
Shatner needs a proofreader
Some interesting stories but most aren't unexplained. The experts are quite knowledgeable, unlike some other programmes. Someone please tell the man the proper definition of "irony". And FFS Shatner it's try TO find out, not try AND find out.
Secrets in the Ice (2020)
Interesting but...
They waste time going over several conclusions that are completely off the wall, only to finish with a theory which the viewer figured out within the first few minutes. The narrator and also the so-called experts continually pronounce the word Arctic as artic. The narration in each episode also contains an absurd amount of grammatical errors. Watch on mute and create your own conclusions.,
Grey's Anatomy: Hotter Than Hell (2021)
Addison and Ben almost save it
Would get 10 stars for Addison's return (and some scenes with the swoon-worthy Ben), hopefully she sticks around. It was great to see her reunited with Amelia, Mer and the kids. As always they have genuine chemistry and emotion.
But the B storyline with Winston's patient is beating a dead horse. The system is racist. What to do about it? Break the rules, risk careers and do naught to bring about system reform.
It will be interesting to see where the story goes with Amelia and Mer in Minnesota. Is there a love interest in the future for Amelia in the intriguing new doctor? But really, it's Link's "dream" to cure Parkinson's? An orthopedic surgeon with no background in neurology wants to cure a disease that continually baffles specialists with decades of study? Mmmk
More Addison and Ben, less nonsense please!
Grey's Anatomy: Sign O' the Times (2021)
Absolute rubbish
Completely unwatchable. Nothing but covid, protest, Meredith Grey. The only thing that happened otherwise was Levi's situation in the hyperbaric chamber, which was great but overshadowed by all the other drivel. At least there were no Meredith on the damn beach scenes.