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Reviews
Beowulf (2007)
Beowulf -- A Legend Sullied
This version is the one with Angelina Jolie, in which all the characters are sort of cartoonized, for lack of a better word. The word they actually use is "made with CGI." As far as I am concerned, it should be "made to look ridiculous."
Other than my observation that Jolie looks fabulous because instead of the stick figure that she has become, they gave her some curves, my main take-away from the movie is that they severely damaged the story.
The whole point of Beowulf is that he is a larger-than-life hero who achieves greatness both with the gifts he has been given by Nature and because of his determination. Yet, in this movie, the first sign of the ridiculous is that he removes his armor and elects to fight Grendel while completely naked. Okay, if they had simply had him face Grendel without armor or a weapon, I would have accepted the alteration of the story line because it would signify he wants to test himself. But naked? It seems that they just want to show the Queen being shocked or tempted by his nudity and tantalize the comparatively few women who enjoy seeing naked men.
Next, and the biggest flaw, is this: In the original tale or poem, Grendel's mother is described by words whose translation is uncertain. She might be a sea hag, or a lake witch, or a nebulous undescribed evil thing or monster, depending on which translation theory you buy. But regardless of her form, it is clear that Beowulf slays her. Then, at the end of his life, his final battle is with a dragon. BUT, in this move, two things occur: First, and this is not such a bad idea, the dragon at the end is tied to Grendel's mother. There might have been several ways of making that connection, but they chose the worst, which leads to my second point: Instead of defeating and battling Grendel's mother, Beowulf is enticed and seduced by her such that he makes a bargain that insures he will become king and gives her a son to replace the one he slew. The dragon turns out to be that son.
As I said, the link between Grendel, Beowulf and the dragon is not a bad idea. They could even have had Beowulf somehow seduced by Grendel's mother, had her give birth to the dragon, and still had Beowulf find himself again and kill her. But instead, Beowulf is portrayed as a guilt-ridden sell-out who lives the rest of his life enjoying but regretting the excesses which his bargain has enabled him to enjoy.
So, instead of merely being a flawed hero, Beowulf turns out to be a deceitful sinner whose sins are comprised by abusing the bedroom privileges of being King and lying to his people about the "death" of Grendel's mother. He also has lied to his best friend, who would have done anything for him, about it.
The ending, as to what is in store for his best-friend-become king, is ambiguous but intriguing.
Jug Face (2013)
A Pretty Good Movie - Possible Spoiler Alert
"Jug Face" is a remarkably vibrant movie, because you would think the plot is jejune if you read a summary, but the quality of the acting is impressive and the story is oddly interesting.
The hill folk (or woods-dwellers) are beholden to the pit, which harbors an undefined supernatural entity craving human sacrifice. But it doesn't just want any human. It wants particular humans and it wants them almost as soon as it makes its demand. In return, the pit cures its worshippers of all illness and otherwise blesses its flock. (Amazingly, despite the appearance of being in the middle of the woods, some of the people do have electric power.) Apparently, the pact between the humans and the pit evolved long ago, when the pit saved the community from an outbreak of cholera or some other malady. But when the girl who is "chosen" by the traditional method as a sacrifice rejects her fate, the pit goes on a rampage to obtain what it wants. She is assisted in her efforts to survive by none other than the half- witted fellow who is possessed by the pit as a means to indicate its desired prey, by inducing him to model "jug faces" (pottery jugs) resembling the unlucky victim. However, he turns out to have more common sense than any other character.
Many elements of the story seem to be a mere backdrop, though one might expect them to play a larger role. The girl's relationship with her grandfather, as his primary caregiver, seems to serve no purpose except to make her more likable. Her relationship with her brother might be a cliché, but it works. The anticipated penchant for moonshine in such an environment is window-dressing and hence it fits.
The ending is unimaginative and anticlimactic, but until you get to the ending the movie is really good -- surprisingly good. I have certainly seen giant Hollywood productions which I enjoyed far less.
Intimacy (2001)
Gawd
This was a story devoid of interest or excitement, a never-ending soap opera made into a movie. Was there ever any ending? The movie just stops and I was so glad it was over that I don't care whether they stay together or not.
This encapsulates the whole thing: A pointless story; a pointless love affair (who would have thought that a love affair could be made so unexciting); vapid and uninspired sex scenes (Do they ever entertain the idea of oral sex or grooming their bushy private parts?); and actors who appear miserable to appear in and wander through such a sordid tale of ennui.