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Mea Culpa (2024)
Give 'Mea' a Break
Every now and then, you may watch a movie that surprises you with how great it is. This isn't one of those times. Watching this movie was PAINFUL. I am surprised that I was able to finish it.
First, the acting. I am not a fan of any of the actors (I had no idea who a lot of them are) and this movie didn't help. Poor, poor Kelly Rowland. She deserved better than this, but she apparently is a producer, so...get that money, Sis. But I digress. The acting is like amateur night at a local playhouse. The dialogue was laughable. No one (and I mean no one) talks like this. The mother-in-law was so over the top, I cringed every time she said something. And let's be clear - I doubt any woman (especially a highly educated lawyer like Mea) would have allowed her speak to her that way.
But let's examine the main characters, shall we? Mea? Attractive, but clueless. Mea's husband? Attractive, but a sip. His brother? Attractive, but a jerk. His wife? Attractive, but submissive to a fault. The guy on trial for murdering his girlfriend? Attractive, but emotionally controlling and emotionally abusive. See a pattern? Yep, it is a typical TP movie. All attractive people, but no character development or depth. TP's character are always one dimensional: either they look like they walked out of a magazine spread with no real personality or they are super ghetto with issues up the wahoo. I mean, what's the back story with Mea and her husband (how did they meet, what led up to his issues, etc) ? Why is the MIL so mean to Mea? I could go on with the questions, but I shouldn't be surprised, as TP does this often. I guess you don't have time to go into detail when you're writing scripts in a week.
Not only was the acting atrocious, but the the pacing was slow (especially with scenes with Mea and Zyair). Apparently Zyair was supposed to be the smoldering, quiet type who exudes sex appeal, but all he did was frustrate the mess out of me with his over the top acting and slow speaking. Nothing about that seemed like a turn on. The sex scenes were out of place and completely unnecessary in my opinion. And what was the point of the sex club and why was it in his building?! That is just too silly to believe.
It is also unbelievable that Mea would fall for Zyair's lame attempt to seduce her. You mean to tell me that this woman watched this man be intimate with another woman and then say, 'Me next!' Mea - a high powered lawyer, is willing to ruin her reputation and livelihood by sleeping with her client. Ha! Yeah, okay. I mean, why? Did she have a history of cheating? Was she horny, lonely or just wanting to get back at her husband? One will never know.
The ending was even worse. The fight scene at the end was so bad that I fast forwarded it. The plot holes were also big enough to fall through. No explanation as to how the BIL was able to set Zyair up (there was so much evidence in his apartment, but his GF was alive. How did he do it?!).
Oh man...this movie was soooo bad. I don't care if TP is black and successful. God bless him for his hard work, but he needs help and he needs to do better. And a lot of us need help and need to do better as well, because we continue to support mess like this.
Only for One Night (2016)
Wait, what?
*Sigh* Spoilers but trust me, it doesn't matter.
1. The lovey dovey, "No, I love you more...I'm so lucky...no, I'm the lucky one..." language is so overboard and obnoxious. Ok, we get it. You are in love. Geez. Is there any substance in this relationship beyond the physical?
2. They are so in love, yet he cheats? With his sister-n-law? Wait, what? Sure, she drugged him, but what kind of drugs was it to have him acting that way? Nope, we don't know. I know no one is above cheating, but why would he cheat out of the blue unless the drugs made him to do it or unless they have some underlying issues like real people.
3. Wait, he hangs out with her afterwards? The sister-n-law was attractive, but you would think his so in love self would be able to resist and stay the heck away from her after the "mistake." But since we don't have a background on why he did what he did (especially since he is sooooo lucky to have such an amazing wife), he just comes off as a horn dog.
3. Ugh. The acting.
4. Wait, he sleeps with her again?! Without being drugged? Yep, he's a horn dog.
5. Why is Caroline so crazy about William anyway? I mean, did she like him before Chloe got with him? Sure, he's attractive but not go completely crazy attractive.
6. If I hear "How did I get so lucky...no I'm the lucky on... I miss you...miss you more...love you, I love you more..." one more time *eyeroll*
7. The scene where she tells William she's pregnant is hilarious. She tells him in the house with Chloe in another room and William is whispering, yet she isn't and she's loud enough for Chloe to hear her. Smh.
8. UGH, THE ACTING!!!
9. When William tells Chloe he cheated with Caroline and Chloe's response was "Am I not good enough for you?" Wait, what? I know everyone's reaction is different, but her response and acting was pretty bad. Then when she called her sister? Even worse. No one acts/talks like this.
10. Wait, these people still have a house phone?
11. The fight scene at the end. LOL
12. Wait, it ends with him killing Caroline and they just hug it out?
Good for a few laughs and background noise while you're working.
Always and Forever (2020)
BET - ' Always and Forever' airing stuff like this.
I would say "A for effort"; however, it does not appear Chris Stokes put as much effort into the script as he did into the clothes, hair, scenery, etc. Here we have the stereotypical characters in another slick movie on BET: all beautiful, thin/shapely/muscular, apparently super successful with a money to burn (look at the houses, cars - nothing wrong with that but oh come on...smh). This movie is super slow and drags in the beginning. Bad dialogue and even worse acting. The wonderful Loretta Devine and Wood Harris are definitely miscasted as Brian's mother and Detective Tucker, respectively and the dynamics between the characters are not only predictable (of course there would be a successful professional lawyer who is friends with a ghetto hood chic, eye roll) but sooo lazy and overdone.
Crazy loopholes all over the place, weird plot lines, unnecessary attempts at suspense that are laughable, oddly place music, uncomfortable silence (people don't talk like this!) and don't get me started on the flashbacks. No continuation, strange pacing and just plain weird set ups (Nicole talking to Brandi in one scene but then she's shown in the next scene dead due to an apparent overdose - huh??). Murders happen but the audience doesn't see them (just the aftermath)...I could go on.
Here's my list of issues with this, um "movie" (I definitely had to shorten this, otherwise it would have been 10 pages long):
1. The beginning scene at the camp - no details, no history, no introduction to characters (who the heck are these people?). And where are the camp counselors?!
2. Nicole's a lawyer yet she won't have a conversation with her husband who she thinks is cheating (talking is part of her profession for goodness sake). Really? They tell everyone they have this wonderful relationship yet they apparently have no communication on what really matters. Oh, he leaves her several times to go on business trips after a break in, even after she expresses her fear of being alone. Come on Lawyer. Ding, ding, ding. RED FLAG!
3. Ghetto Tammy is too much, but it's BET so there has to be a ghetto Tammy who does too much.
4. Why is Detective Tucker interviewing Brian after Brandi's death as if he knew her or had a connection to her??
5. Again, weird flashbacks inserted at the oddest times.
6. Hmmm...that's a pretty huge house for a criminal lawyer and her husband (I didn't care enough to remember his profession). I'm just saying. Geez. Can someone say overkill with the scenery.
7. Nicole's (again, she's a lawyer!) arrested after Sommer's death and she willingly answers questions without being read her Miranda rights. She DOES THIS FOR A LIVING y'all. UM, KEEP SILENT so nothing can be used against you, remember?
8. Again, the police. Laughable. They must have trained at the Barney Fife Academy.
9. Nicole's friend dies in their home yet she's not more distraught? Wow, life goes on I guess.
10. They tortured Peter as kids, yet revenge took that long? Why not try to avenge the torture as teenagers and why just the girls and not the boys?! Was there anyone who didn't figure out Brian was Peter after the Paige revelation? And why the weird voice change Peter? He waited 4 years after marriage to finally snap? Um, okay. Oh, and the end scene? Too much to even write, but Detective Tucker going out alone to find Nicole with no back-up and Nicole could still fight back after being punched and thrown around like a rag doll? Pure tomfoolery, which pretty much sums up this farce of a movie.
Lust: A Seven Deadly Sins Story (2021)
Another Lukewarm Church movie for Lukewarm Christians
This movie confused the mess out of me. I couldn't figure out if it was a Christian based movie with a message of caution against lust or if it was a movie masquerading as Christian based movie with a message of being okay with lust until that lust is the wrong type of lust. Let me explain.
First, the movie opens up with Tiffanie and Damon who are engaged to be married and engaged in premarital sex (UM, LUST). Oh, sidebar: neither gives a stellar acting performance, but I digress. So Tiffanie is bored with their sex life and Damon seems over the top and trying wayyyy to hard to come off as a hopeless romantic and the best man ever. Case in point; he doesn't want her to be 'kinky' because he 'did that in his past life.' He's talking softly, calling her angel, kissing her in front of company like he hadn't seen her in months...eye roll - boy please. Damon is pretty controlling but not in the physically abusive way, but in the super annoying 'I know what's best' type of way. Everything he says and does is so corny and sugary sweet I cringed everytime he said something.
So Tiffanie really wants to spice up their lustful sex life and she begins to have second doubts about marriage because of the super boring sex. What if their sex life is super boring after marriage too??! She seeks advice from several people (Grandmother, friends) and they all are quoting Scriptures, talking about prayers for her and their relationship but only one friend even mentions that she should have waited for marriage to be intimate anyway. Ok, I know...no one waits nowadays but if you profess to be a Christian you can't and shouldn't follow some of the Bible and not all of it. This is why this movie is confusing. Is this a movie of 'hey, I messed up and I'm out of God's will so let me try to get it right' or is it a movie of 'Lust is okay as long as it is with the person you're in a relationship with.' What a confusing message, especially for people who think following Christ means picking and choosing which commands from God's Word you want to follow. And that isn't a judgment but simple truth.
Anyway, this movie is sooo unrealistic. Damon's best friend comes to stay with them for the wedding. Sparks fly as soon as they see each other. Tank is an attractive guy but geez...the way she was acting you would think he was the only man on earth. She answers the door with yogurt on the corner of her mouth and he wipes it with his thumb and THEN licks his finger! What the...? You let your fiance's best friend do that? Better yet your fiance's best friend does his boy like that??? But oh- it gets worse.
Tank's acting is better than most in this movie but the storyline is so dumb. He and Tiffanie play cat and mouse; Tiffanie daydreams about him and she finally kisses him (after she hires him to do work at her spa withouttelling Damon). This is after she tells Damon they should now wait until marriage to have sex. Is sex the only issue in their relationship? If it is why not go to a counselor for marriage counseling? There is one scene where they are in a session with her grandfather but sex isn't brought up. Why?? Shouldn't that be the perfect time to discuss any doubts or issues??
Tiffanie then confesses to Damon that she thinks they got together for the wrong reasons. She was a church girl (of course) and he only picked her for image...blah, blah. Damon tries to convince her that it's not true. He genuinely loves her...blah, blah.
Trey lets the cat out the bag about Damon he is working at the spa and Tiffanie gets upset because she wanted to tell Damon and she fires Trey. They argue outside in the rain, Tiffanie is all 'I hate you! Everything was fine until you got here!" Then they kiss (this scene was the absolute worse) and Tiffanie runs off.
For the rest of the movie Tiffanie fights against the urge to sleep with Trey (I'm assuming this is the 'wrong' type of lust cause she ain't marrying him). Apparently Tiffanie is only thinking with her lady parts because Trey has no redeeming qualities that I can see that would make him a good catch (other than his looks). I mean they never even have a real conversation for goodness sakes. But finally she gives in to the other type of lust and they almost do the do in a hotel room until Trey stops before it goes down and talks about revenge. He tells her ' Tomorrow before you get married you think about this and me because Damon was my brother and he screwed me over' or something dumb like that. He walks out and leaves Tiffanie crying on the bed.
Tiffanie is a mess on the day of the wedding. Trey tells Damon he met someone and of course he's talking about Tiffanie but he doesn't mention her name. Damon attempts to apologize to Trey for the past but Trey stops him. Tiffanie tells her grandmother about the revenge plot and her grandmother is all like don't let Trey win...blah, blah..why is everyone pushing this woman to the altar with all her doubts and jacked up emotions?? It's obvious that her wanting to sleep with Trey is not just about having sex. Lust starts in the heart but this woman is obviously not happy with Damon and it's deeper than emotions? DUH!
I'm not going to give away the ending, but I will say that there is the beloved church scene at the end. Why do people in these movies go to church after everything is all jacked up? Church and God seem like an after thought. Anyway, the premise of this movie is good but the execution falls short. The script is ridiculous and the acting is not good at all. I spent most the movie with a confused look on my face with every scene. Between the confusing, lukewarm message, the atrocious acting, the ridiculous script and the laughable plot the only thing I was pleased with was when it was finally over.
Unhinged (2020)
Terrible.
I'm definitely not going to say anything that hasn't been said but I did want to add my two cents since I sat through this atrocious hot mess.
- Why weren't they looking for this dude from the very beginning? Like he killed 2 people and no massive search? Yeah, ok.
- There were two turning lanes. Why not just get in the other lane from the beginning instead of sitting behind him and honking your horn? I mean wasn't she in a hurry?!
- Why not let the Cashier call the police at the gas station? When he ran over the nice Samaritan why not turn around, jump out your car and run into the gas station, lock the door and call the cops?
- People watched him kill at the restuarant and didn't call the cops? Some ran, some stayed and filmed it? Like, seriously? Who would seriously sit there and watch that and not either run or jump in and help? As someone else said Texas wouldn't play that.
- How in the world could they drive that way without the cops following them? Where the heck is this place - Mayberry??
- Take your son out of school? Lol!!
- Why not drive to the police department since you didn't have your phone?
- The ending: he gets shot several times but doesn't bleed to death. He beats her and she isn't knocked out. She kills him and the cops let her drive home.
Not even worth watching in a quarantine. Sheesh.
The Hitcher (2007)
Seriously?
- Why would you agree to drop off Mr. Crazy when you end up at the same convenient store? He got dropped off by a trucker just so he could reel you in. I'm sorry; he would have had to spend the night there or find another way. He looked CRAZY. Plus it was raining, so you know rain always brings out the crazy in hitchhikers.
- Why - when he showed you he was crazy and you were able kick him out - didn't you turn around and high tail it home? Was your little spring break outing that big of deal? I mean you literally just had someone try to kill you. That shoulda been a serious mood killer.
- Why is there no one else on the roads? I mean the lack of cars was hilarious.
- Why after attempting to warn the family that Mr. Crazy was in their car did you drive like a maniac trying to get their attention? Then after you crashed why were you not hurt and why wasn't there any other no person on the road to see what happened?
- How did Mr. Crazy kill that much? Oh, and his killing of the police department? Pure comedy.
- Why run from the police instead of telling them what happened? Heck, they might have been able to protect you (eh, doubt it now that i think about it. They were just as clueless)
- Why the weird make out scene in the shower? That was totally 'a what the heck?!' moment. If I'm scared to death of Mr. Crazy I certainly wouldn't be thinking about kissing and fondling at this point.
- Why did the BF leave to try to find a payphone -alone?? Without the gun??!!
- Why say you have a gun (as you're struggling to keep Mr. Crazy out the bathroom) but you don't use it?? Um, pull the trigger and end the nightmare Einstein.
- Why kill the BF? He was annoying but after all that he should have lived. Just saying.
- Why are the cops so dense, aloof and powerless? They must have been trained by Barney Fife.
- Where did the girl get superbad? She turned into wonder woman in the end. "I'm tired of running." Oh really? That bravado woulda been nice back when your BF was tied to those trucks.
Fatal Affair (2020)
Not even worth watching in a quarantine
Okay, let's start with the good, shall we?
I gave this movie 2 stars. 1 star for the scenery. The house on the beach was gorgeous. The other star is because the movie was only 1:29. Thank the Lord.
Now...the bad (and there's a lot of bad, but I'll make it quick).
- Script: typical, predictable and cringeworthy.
- Acting: soooooo bad. I love Nia and Omar but this was a waste of their talent. And the daughter. Sheesh.
- Background music: will someone please kill the Lifetime movie music in the background! Ugh.
- Plot: What the...? So you meet this guy from college, 20 years go by and you go out with him for drinks and he just happens to be crazy? You're a lawyer; you couldn't pick up on the vibes that he was flirting with you at the office before you asked him to join you and your girlfriend for drinks? Lonely in your marriage or not Sis, you should have caught that right away.
Of course he seduces the best friend after Ellie says scram because she loves her husband. The BFF is clueless because she believes this random guy over her friend for years (eye roll). Crazy dude David snaps and puts BFF in the hospital because he wants Ellie and only Ellie (eye roll). Ellie investigates crazy David, sneaks in his apartment (eye roll) and finds out just how crazy he is because he's been following her and he killed his ex wife. Crazy David pretends to commit suicide (eye roll). Everything is finally perfect, but wait...! He's alive, tricks Ellie to go to her office to sign some paperwork (at night mind you and she goes by herself - eye roll).
Crazy David kills Ellie's assistant, breaks in Ellie's home, kills the daughter's boyfriend, plays 'Forget Me Not' to make the scene suspenseful and scary for us the viewers (doesn't work because you know what's coming - eye roll). He ties up the husband and daughter, kills the cop that shows up (um...you guessed it, eye roll).
Crazy David is crazy and in invincible because he's so darn hard to kill (he gets stabbed but still able to chase Ellie and her husband). But here's the most laughable part of the movie: after David tries to KILL her husband, she hold on to him trying to save him from falling off a cliff.
Watch this movie only if you want a few decorating tips because the house really is beautiful.