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The Devil Conspiracy (2022)
Diabolical !
Casting, dreadful. Acting, dreadful. Script, dreadful. Effects, dreadful. Story, had potential but everyone involved with this screwed up any redemption that might have given this movie.
Worst of all though is the absolute arrogance of the people responsible for this garbage. There's a reason that heaven, hell, God, Satan etc are rarely portrayed in movies, they are just too absolute to be conveyed to the viewer. But these guys thought they could pull it off with this low budget abortion of a movie. Spoiler alert, they didn't.
Things to consider doing instead of watching this... do some ironing, ask your friends or neighbours if they have any ironing they want doing, sit down with a notepad and plan a schedule for your next months worth of ironing.
So sad that there are actually people who would front the budget for this crap.
V/H/S/99 (2022)
Worthless.
I was a big fan of the first three VHS movies. I wasn't as wowed by VHS 94 but, overall, it was worth watching. This abomination of a follow up is an absolute disgrace to the series.
The individual stories dragged on, and on, and on, and on. Obviously the budget for this crap was non-existent. The entire movie was, I suspect, filmed using the same VHS camera. The only reason they stuck with this format was to try to disguise the 'effects' that looked like something a group of untalented highschoolers threw together. The segments were so tedious I was fast forwarding before the second story was halfway through.
Do yourself a favour and watch/rewatch ANY of the previous VHS movies, because this one is the final nail in the coffin of a once great series.
Hellraiser (2022)
Worthy of the title
Easily my favourite 'Hellraiser' by far. I never know what to expect from reboots. To be honest very few live up to the originals, and many are a downright insult to the name. This Hellraiser is exceptional.
Although I liked some of the Hellraiser movies, most of them didn't really capture my expectations visually. The effect, and especially the makeup in this version are fantastic. The Cenobites are awesome. I won't say their costumes are, because the costumes are technically their mutilations.
If I had to compare it to others in the series, I'd say the story was closest to Hellraiser 2, but it's definitely not just a rehash of any of the previous.
True, the story itself could have been better, but the visuals easily make up for any shortfalls in the plot.
For anyone who liked the series, or any horror buffs in general, I can recommend this movie without hesitation.
Kateo (2022)
Exhausting.
As others have said, the camera work is both amazing, but absolutely horrible. It's a perfect example of just because you can do something, it doesn't mean you should. The action is non-stop, I don't recall another film where one guy has killed this many people, but it really wears you out trying to follow it due to the constant drone camera work.
Jason X (2001)
Just plain entertaining.
I don't get the bad reviews. For me this was beautifully over the top, non-stop entertainment. People need to watch it with their tongue firmly in their cheek. I think they should have included 'comedy' in their tags, as it obviously, intentionally is. For me this movie worked on every level, there really isn't a slow scene in the entire movie. Definitely worth a watch.
The Black Phone (2021)
Didn't work for me.
I found this movie to be forgettable. When it comes on Netflix or Amazon you might want to give it a watch, but I can't recommend actually paying to see it. I like Ethan Hawke, but I think he was wasted in this.
The Batman (2022)
Ho hum !
Okay, I'll start by saying I do not like Christian Bale. He always comes across as arrogant in my opinion. That being said, I would rate his three Batman movies as the best. Not necessarily the best due to him playing the role, but I found that everything just meshed really well. All the main characters, including the villains, were well developed, which helped the three movies flow from 1st to last.
Sadly, this version has none of that. Every character is just plain dull. The villains have zero charisma. Instead of being 'haunted by his past' Pattinson just come across as sulky. I guess the aim was to take out most of the flashy tech and make this movie more believable. Unfortunately it just didn't work, on any level, for me. I've enjoyed (mostly) every Batman movie over the past 30 odd years so I was always going to watch this version. Let's face it, The Batman just doesn't really bring anything new to the party, or maybe the Dark Knight series was just too hard an act to follow so soon after.
Midnight Mass (2021)
S L O W
This mini series is SLOW. Five and a half episodes were nothing but a meh, dull, drama about a boring island village. Then, halfway through the penultimate episode someone seems. To have thought 'Oh wow, we wasted 5 1/2 episodes on life in a dull fishing village'
If I hadn't been glancing at this whilst playing God of War I would have canned it before episode 3.
Even writing this review about it is boring me.
The Exorcism of God (2021)
Seriously ? Lionsgate ???
Wow ! Hard to believe Lionsgate put out this garbage. Imagine one of those really crappy comedy horror flicks from the 80s, ridiculously over the top acting, cheap shlock type effects and makeup, but it didn't matter because it made you chuckle. Now, picture that but with all the humour removed.
I can't believe Lionsgate actually picked this up, let alone released it.
'Does this review contain spoilers' ? Nope, the actors, writers, and crew already spoiled this crap WAY beyond what any review could ever do.
Absolute Proof (2021)
Beyond insane.
So, if you're one of those raving lunatics that actually buy this garbage, consider the following...
You believe that a US presidential election was 'rigged' during the reign of the most paranoid, egotistical, wannabe dictator ever to enter the Oval Office and, despite having replaced the heads of US intelligence agencies with his own handpicked sycophants, NOBODY noticed. That's right guys, you believe that the FBI, CIA, NSA, and even 'Space Force' didn't detect that the 'biggest plot in world history' was being planned for YEARS under the aforementioned president.
Newsflash, Lindell's a bedding salesmen, with NO access to ANY US intelligence information/agencies.
Take this 'movie' for what it is, absolutely WORTHLESS on every single level. No entertainment value, no humour (unless you like laughing at a severely mentally damaged lunatic destroying his own company) and CERTAINLY no proof that 2020 was any more corrupt than any prior election.
The only people I feel sorry for are the people who work for Lindell who will shortly be out of a job when he loses his company to dominion.
Horizon Zero Dawn (2017)
First time ever.
Never before have I reviewed a game on IMDB, Horizon Zero Dawn absolutely deserves a review here. Many games have stories to tell, many have good character development, good dialogue, and good voice actors, Horizon Zero Dawn blows the competition out of the water.
My all time favourite game prior to this was "Omikron: The Nomad Soul. For whatever reason no game, over the past 21 years, drew me into the story like Omikron did, until now.
The reason I decided to review this game on IMDB is because of the story line. The entire game is simply awesome, perfectly balanced, graphically stunning, a true masterpiece. But the story, and the actors who brought it to life, is nothing short of amazing, easily better than the vast majority of movies I've watched.
I really can't recommend this game highly enough, one of the few games over recent years that is absolutely worth every penny.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Should have stood alone
Virtually nothing to do with the original 'Wrong turn' I rated this on the low side as I really liked the original movie. I don't understand why they marketed this as a reboot. It's not a terrible movie but, unlike the original, it's not memorable in any way either. If it comes out on Netflix or Amazon maybe give it a watch, but you won't be missing out if you don't.
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
So, chess...
I can play chess, although I haven't played for years and I was never very good. I can't honestly say I ever found chess to be 'exciting' until watching The Queens Gambit. I was completely hooked from the 1st episode, Anya Taylor-Joy absolutely nails her character and fully deserves an award for her acting. As a TV series the story and characters get to develop the way a movie never could.
It bears repeating, I never had any real interest in chess and, before this, you couldn't have convinced me that a series about chess would ever interest me. I was SO wrong. This is easily the best show I've watched all year and I can't recommend it highly enough.
Ink (2009)
Insanely good
Fair notice, I generally avoid low budget indie movies, even more so with fantasy/sci fi flix. I just get sick of watching 20 or so budget movies to, maybe, find one that is actually watchable, let alone good.
Ink however is an absolute masterclass on how to make a fantasy movie without a multimillion dollar budget. Great story, the actors make you genuinely care about the characters, just a beautifully done film start to finish.
I would recommend this film, maybe keep a handkerchief handy though.
Expulsion (2020)
Ho hum...
Ok, quick and easy, here are the pros and cons of this movie...
Pros, it ends.
Cons, it takes around 1 hour and 40 minutes to do it.
Seriously people, there are very VERY few ways to spend 1 hour and 40 minutes that would be more of a waste than watching this movie. Go and offer to mow your neighbours garden, even if you don't like them it would be more rewarding than watching this garbage.
Penny Dreadful: City of Angels (2020)
Wow !
Look forward to future 'Penny Dreadful' series...
Penny Dreadful: Ramsay's kitchen nightmares 57
Penny Dreadful: Finding Nemo
Penny Dreadful: Todays weather forecast.
Penny Dreadful: Literally anything that has absolutely nothing to do with 'Penny Dreadful'
I kept watching waiting for the 'Penny Dreadful' connection to appear/kick in, it never did. All they really did by prefixing 'Penny Dreadful' was annoy a lot of fans who were expecting something that never happened.
The actual series was just meh ! Slow, muddled, and lacking anything that I could recommend about it. I might have nudged my score up to 3* if I wasn't feeling totally conned into watching a series that never was
Demon Nun (2020)
Deliberate scam title.
This is not The Conjuring 3. It's a deliberate scam title to trick people into watching this movie. After watching the 1st 15 minutes I understand the reason for that, it's the only way they'll get anyone to watch it. Couldn't tell you much about it because 15 minutes was all I could stand, and that was WAY more of my attention than it deserved. Definitely one of those movies that makes you wish IMDB had negative star ratings.
Project Power (2020)
Disappointing.
This was a real let down. Muddled storyline, underwhelming special effects, very little entertainment value, just a completely dull movie start to finish. The only thing it has going for it is it's on Netflix. So if you have Netflix, and can't find anything else to watch, maybe give it a try. If you don't have Netflix this movie is DEFINITELY not a reason to subscribe.
The Dalton Gang (2020)
Amazing...
Actually there are three absolutely amazing things about this movie. Firstly, how the hell did anybody manage to raise $500,000.00 (estimated) to make this mess ? Secondly, how the hell did anybody manage to spend $500,000.00 (estimated) making this mess ? And thirdly, how the hell did this manage to get a two star rating ?
Obviously no movie would ever be so bad as to make your eyes actually bleed, this one did the next best thing, it makes you wish they would.
Ab Negative (2019)
Seriously ?
At the time of reviewing this garbage had over 6 stars ? Apparently, according to this movie, the height of post apocalyptic fashion consists of tearing one arm off of whatever shirt/jacket you happen to be wearing. I managed to watch maybe 20 minutes of this nano-budget excuse for a movie before the nausea got too much. Dire acting, choreography, and script. I can't comment on the plot as I didn't notice one in the brief time I endured the movie. In short, if you like post-apocalypse movies, don't waste your time on this.
The Dinner Party (2020)
Stay awake challenge.
If you run out of your prescription sleeping pills, I rate this film highly as an alternative.
They Reach (2020)
Dire !
Acting terrible.
Story terrible.
SFX terrible.
Amusement factor Zero.
Random quote 'You can't carry the light AND the potatoes' Yes, seriously, that's an actual line from this abortion of a movie.
Honestly, if you're going to pick one movie to avoid watching, make it this one. It has one solitary redeeming feature, it ends. Sadly it takes around 90 minutes to do that.