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peter_cooper
Reviews
Long Time Dead (2002)
Entertaining, but extremely bad and poorly made
As I left the cinema I turned to my friend and said, "I'm glad I saw that film. Finally Batman and Robin isn't 'worst movie ever.'" And it's true, this film is really bad. That's not to say that it's boring, it's not, but it just reeks of 'bad'.
The basic story is simple. Some teenagers (typical clubbers, armed with cigarettes and drugs) play with a ouija board one night, and unlock some evil spirits. These spirits then hunt all the kiddies down and kill them one by one. Sounds like standard horror fare, but what actually makes the film bad?
For a start, the scriptwriters appear to have forgotten the cardinal rules of teen horror flicks. You don't kill the most attractive cast members first. That's the only reason why 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' was any good, the cute girls lasted to the end.
Not only that, but the scriptwriter appears to have written the script in a single sitting. Characters are often not where they're supposed to be and also have severe amnesia problems, forgetting what they did in previous scenes or information they have been given.
'Final Destination' used the element of surprise very effectively, despite being a trashy teen horror movie itself. Long Time Dead tries to copy its predecessor and fails. Any surprises in the film are simply marked by a loud Psycho-style hit from the orchestra.. If the team who made this film really believe that sudden loud noises are all you need to scare people, they should get back to film-making school.
The characters are also undeveloped. You really couldn't care less who's going to die next, and I was hoping they'd all die soon so we could reach the finale of this cinematic calamity. And yes, the ending is bad too! Typically cliché and you can see it coming a mile off.
I love cinema, and I've never slated a film like this before, but this film deserves it. Go and see it with some mates so you can laugh at the hideously poor acting and directing. It's almost as if this was the single film that the Scream series parodies. In that way, it's actually fairly entertaining, so I give it 2 out of 10.
A Clockwork Orange (1971)
The Most Accurate Social Prophecy in Movie History
Kubrick has an excellent way of directing films that seem, to me, to be prophecies. A Clockwork Orange is a remarkable film that, 25 years later, is all too relevant in the UK, as bands of thugs who live on faceless estates DO roam the streets fighting and torturing the general public for 'fun'.
Where 2001 was a good look forward into our technological future - it failed socially, we still have no real interest in setting up base on the moon - A Clockwork Orange is a fine look forward into our social future (or present, if you believe the doomsayers).
This is one of those films which requires multiple viewings, as other reviewers have pointed out. The language uses slang well, and Kubrick seems to have realised that language -would- change significantly over the next 20 years after this film was released. He guessed correctly, and even though we don't use the slang that is present in this film, we can relate to it since it is as alien to us as our current slang would be to Alex and his droogs.
The wonderful Moloko 'milk bar' is also an excellent touch. This place seems extremely weird to us, but our new nightclubs and 'raves' would be just as alien to someone in the 70s. All in all, Kubrick has realised that things would change over the years, so he went ahead and made his own guesses.
The interference of the 'State' in all parts of this film is also extremely representative of today's Britain. We lose freedoms in return for supposed 'security', but in fact these securities don't make us feel very secure at all, and in turn it just leads to more thuggery and violence of the sort seen in this film.
There is one snafu, however. The community in the film actually seems closer and friendlier than that of current Britain. For example, the school principal actually seems to care for Alex, despite knowing his history.
All in all, the best social prophecy ever made and, in my opinion, Kubrick's second best film (behind 2001).
Pardesi Babu (1998)
A most enjoyable experience with my first Asian film
In my part of the UK, Asian films are often shown at night. I usually avoid them since I'm usually not interested in watching their movies. They seem to have too much singing and simplistic storylines. Last night, however, I was enthralled by my first true Asian movie experience.
The main character in Babu is a fairly poor guy who wants to marry a rich guy's daughter, Chanii. However, the rich father is not impressed and demands that the main character (I forget his name) must earn 100,000,000 rupees within a year, and only then will he let him marry his daughter.
A chance encounter ends up with the overly honest main character accidentally picking up the wrong suitcase on his way home, and suddenly he is blessed with 1,000,000 rupees. His honesty makes him go to the police station to hand it in, but there he is faced by dishonest policemen who only want to take the money for themselves.
Him and his friend, Happy Singh, start to think about how they could make 100 million rupees from just 1 million. They enlist a scientist who has a secret recipe for tea.. and start to sell their own brand of tea.
After the first week, however, they have only sold two packets because their tea is too expensive. Happy Singh suggests that they start their own tea company and leases a house, a large field of tea, and some workers.. on the main character's behalf.
Without giving anything away, the rest of the story revolves around the activities of the main character, Happy Singh, the workers and the house maid known as 'Ms. Break-All'.. because she breaks everything she touches.
A nice film, which makes a great introduction to Asian cinema. Not too much singing, excellent characters, a good story (if a little clichéd).. good stuff.
The Hole (2001)
Good Film, Even Better Cast.. But A Few Sloppy Elements
I've been anticipating this film for a while since it is Thora Birch's first role since American Beauty. So, The Hole. The Hole has been hyped up as a horror/psychological film in which 4 students are locked down an old wartime bunker (-the- Hole) to avoid a boring Geography field trip. How does it fare?
The casting is probably the jewel of this film. It's superb. The absolutely stunning Keira Knightley (Sabé from Star Wars Episode I) appears as Liz's (Birch) friend, Frankie. All the rest of the characters are complete unknowns, except the psychologist played by Embeth Davidtz (Matilda, Bridget Jones, Schindler's List), but they all act their parts excellently.
This film really has the British 'feel' mastered. The sets are excellent, the locations are splendid, and the whole 'feel' of the movie is very realistic. The school really does feel like a British public school (A British 'public school' is like a 'private school' in the US.. one where you need rich parents to flash $$$ to get you in). The unnamed pupils seem extremely realistic.
There are only three small flaws with this film. The first is that it doesn't exactly live up to the hype in the British press. I did not find this scary at all, but it was an extremely well done mystery/whodunnit. Horror? Nah, not unless you classify psychological thrillers as 'horror'.
The second flaw is that the transitions between different parts of the film can be rather confusing. Often, the film bounds around past and present shots and be extremely disorienting in places. Unlike Memento, this disorientation is not an advantage. However, at the end of the film, you'll be able to tie all of the parts together and leave feeling quite satisfied with the story (a bit like the film 'Wild Things').
Another minor let down is the music. Totally forgettable, has no place in the film, and it often appears at the most inappropriate times.
I really do hope this is released in the USA soon, as Thora Birch is definitely not to be missed here.. and I think the stunning Keira Knightley is going to be getting some bigger roles from now on, she's definitely earned her stripes here. So, my big question, why has this not been scheduled for US release!?
This is certainly not a Blair Witch Project clone, although this impression has been given by the press. Instead, this is a cleverly constructed and extremely well casted psychological thriller/mystery.