nicolasroop Reviews

I.S.S. (2023)

Why is it always the Russians who are portrayed as evil?

[3/10 · 22 January 2024]

I had extremely mixed feelings about this film.

On one side of things, you have some interesting cinematography, some decent acting from the cast, great set design and some very tense moments that pay off fairly well.

On the other side, we have some pretty horrid CGI, a story that makes no sense (if this war is going on, I doubt anyone on the ground would be thinking about the I. S. S., let alone being able to contact them), one dimensional characters, a writer who knows very little about actual science or what goes on in the actual I. S. S., and some very shoddy direction at times.

Instead of making this film about a power struggle, it would have made more sense to have the crew working together to stay alive amidst the limited rations and materials they had to work with and created the tension from there. Instead, we get the old Russians vs Americans game that we've seen in a ton of other movies in the past. Talk about a missed opportunity here.

There's other completely moronic things this film does that lowered the score even more. It was going to get 2 stars, that is until the man who went flying into space is suddenly still alive and climbing on the space station, and then saved, but within 5 minutes of his return, he's offed. Pointless, and a total waste of the audience's time.

Overall, I couldn't recommend it. If you need to see it, see it on a streaming service. Don't pay for a subpar experience like this. Does it have it's moments? Yes, but they are too few and far between to make the film count. And the premise is one of the most dumb I've seen in years.

1.5 space walks out of 5.

Mean Girls (2024)

Though it does not hit the highs of the original, this Mean Girls is a spirited tribute

[7/10 · 11 January 2024]

There is a lot to love here. The music, the glamour and, of course, the drama of high school. However, it's missing some key ingredients that made the original the instant classic that it is. It is not as witty as it thinks it is and it's nearly lost all of the relatability of it's characters in it's high gloss presentation.

Acting wise, the cast ate up every scene and performance. The musical numbers were pitch perfect. The standouts being Aulii Cravalho as Janis. Her voice was perfect for those scenes connecting the films plotline fairly seamlessly. Also, Reneé Rapp as Regina was brilliant casting. Her voice is amazing, particularly in the number at the halloween party. Just wow!

As far as the plot goes, there are some jokes and plotlines that are missing. Perhaps due to the times, some of the jokes were not exactly "pc". I felt a couple were sorely missed, but it did not mar the production as a whole thankfully. There were some things the film tries to do from the original that kind of fell flat as well. It's like telling the same joke twice to the same audience, it just doesn't hit as hard the second time.

Overall, I enjoyed it. It was a different version from the original, but just like The Color Purple, it's kind of meant to be. There are some cameos, including a very standout one towards the end that fans of the original will cheer at! If you're into it or a fan of the original, I say go see it. You won't be mad that you did.

3.5 mean girls out of 5.

Night Swim (2024)

As generic as they come, Night Swim is a bore

[2/10 · 7 January 2024]

If you came to Night Swim thinking you were going to see an original film filled with original ideas, oh boy, brace yourself because this film uses almost every PG-13 horror movie trope that ever existed.

Big spooky house with haunted basement, closet, or in this case, swimming pool? Check.

Dumb family that makes dumb decisions even though they clearly know what is going on? Check.

Silly jump scares are are the farthest thing from scary? Check.

A story that has zero impact because you've seen the jist of it in at least 1000 other films? Check.

The only decent thing about this film was the acting. The cast tries to elevate the material but are constantly hampered by a production that refuses to dare itself. Felt bad for em.

Overall, 5 dollar bin material at Walmart. Don't bother, it's really not a good movie.

1 drowned child out of 5.

The Color Purple (2023)

A little overstuffed, but overall an excellent rendition of the broadway musical

[8/10 · 27 December 2023]

A beautifully shot and performed production, The Color Purple is a clear winner.

The acting here is done with sensitivity and class. Fantasia is brilliant as the lead and has a voice that sores high. The supporting cast also does a fantastic job with the musical numbers, most notably Danielle Brooks. Her performance both broke my heart and put it all back together again.

The story follows the original almost note for note, but takes more from the musical production than the Spielberg classic. All in all, a very well done adaptation that feels faithful to both sources. My only complaint with the film is that it feels just about 1 or 2 songs too long. Maybe 1 of the many storylines happening could've been put on the back burner and only glanced at.

The film also features some very creative direction and cinematography. The sweeping camera motions and the way the story is also told through it's imagery made for a spellbinding watch.

Overall, an excellent version of one of the most sensitive and empowering stories of all time. It does feel like there is a little too much going on towards the end, but even with it's flaws, I could not recommend it more!

4 reunions out of 5.

Poor Things (2023)

One of the most strange films I have ever seen, and I loved it!

[9/10 · 22 December 2023]

Where to begin with this one....

First off, the performances presented here are top of their class. Absolutely phenomenal! In a film with characters as strange as these, you need a strong cast and every player here was up to the task and more! Just brilliant!

Secondly, the story is insane. I mean padded room, straight jacket type of insane. When reading the synopsis, I was thinking about how wild of a concept it was and did not think they could pull off such an audacious plot. However, Yorgos and company had a specific vision for this film and it shows in the amount of detail in both the screenplay and the visionary artistic decisions. I can say, they completely nailed it!

Thirdly, exploring the human condition through sexuality, in all emotional forms, has been done before. Though, never quite like this. It was refreshing to see it through the eyes of someone reborn and ready for everything life had to throw her, as opposed to the usual timid youthful eyes.

Lastly, the cinematography is wonderfully done. Mixing between black and white to full color, with wild scenery and beautifully detailed architecture. Sometimes the film felt like a dream captured within a painting. It was quite beautiful.

Overall, I would highly recommend it. I don't think it will be everyone's cup of tea. It is very artsy, very sexually uncomfortable, and very strange. However, if you enjoy great storytelling and truly original visions on film, better see this on the big screen.

4.5 surgerys out of 5.

The Boy and the Heron (2023)

This film, unfortunately, doesn't hold a candle to the OG Ghibli films

[5/10 · 5 December 2023]

I don't know if it's because Miyazaki is getting old and has lost his magic, or if it was shortened for commercial audiences, but something felt completely missing.

The sense of wonder you get from a Miyazaki film seems to be void here. There are sparks of it here and there, and the film is not without it's quirks that make a Ghibli film so great. However, it all feels like a "lite" version of what has come before. Plot points get tangled and forgotten about, some things feel like an afterthought, and it all just kinda feels a bit too familiar.

I will say that I am happy to see such beautifully realized animation back on the big screen. Nobody does japanese animation quite as good as Ghibli does it. I was in awe seeing it on the IMAX, which was the best way to view it. You could see the dedication and detail that went into the artwork and appreciate it even more.

After The Wind Rises, I was convinced Miyazaki would never make another film. I almost wished he hadn't. This film feels like a filmmaker who has already said everything he has to say. Tired and worn out. If it wasn't for the exquisite artwork throughout, I would've rated it lower.

2.5 herons out of 5.

Silent Night (2023)

No dialog absolutely ruins this film, among other things

[2/10 · 5 December 2023]

I respect John Woo's decision to try to make a film with no dialog and the story to be expressed through his imagery rather than a script. The problem is, however, that his imagery is not strong enough to hold my attention for as long as the film demanded, and the film's plot was also paper thin.

A lot of scenes come off as awkward, and unnatural because the characters should be talking, but for some inexplicable reason are not. I was starting to wonder if I had missed a scene where everybody gets shot in the neck, and not just the main character? It was ridiculous! Even when the wife is grieving with him and he goes all insane, throwing things and raging, she just stares at him and says nothing. Same with Kid Cudi's character. A lot of his screentime is just him staring at some photos or into a room without saying anything. Made the film almost unbearable to watch.

The plot itself was ripped right out of Death Sentence, which was also a ripoff of Death Wish. I'm thinking Hollywood needs either better ideas, or better filmmakers. I don't mind a reused idea, but reuse it with purpose, to expand or better the previous product. Neither happened here.

I also want to touch on how cheap the film looked. I'm not sure what the budget was, but surely they could have done better than this. The vast majority of the film is shot frenetically, so it's hard to see the action most of the time. It's also shot in some pretty low light, also making it difficult to see anything. The cinematography is what should draw people into this movie, considering that it probably didn't even have a script, and they couldn't even pull that off.

Overall, this film is a mess and a shame. Such a simple premise and you make one of the most boring and irritating action films I think I've ever seen. I'm going to rewatch Face/Off to make me forget this film ever happened.

0.5 shots in the neck out of 5.

It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)

Equally good and bad in most respects

[5/10 · 20 November 2023]

It's A Wonderful Knife has such a ring to it, I just had to see it. Now was it a good or bad film, I'm still not completely sure on either end of that spectrum.

On one hand, we have a horror great, Katharine Isabelle, and a handful of cast members that try their hardest to convey their characters in a way that feels festive and lighthearted. On the other hand, we have some extremely cheesy writing and a tone flip flops around like a fish gasping for air.

Some of the films choices made zero real world sense and it felt like those choices were just there to propel the film forward, and propel forward it did. The runtime is short and brisk, at just under 90 mins, which did not give the film room to focus on any particular thing except poor Winnie and her mission. There were a few things I wish they had spent more time on and some things I wished were missing from the film entirely.

Overall, you could do better and you could do worse. Although there was some pretty shotty directing and writing, the film was still entertaining and short enough to get through without too much strain on the audience. I will say, it was not necessary to see in theaters. I may have had more fun with this film watching it on TV as opposed to the big theatrical experience.

2.5 Christmas' out of 5.

Saw X (2023)

Not As Good As The First 3, But Better Than All The Rest

[8/10 · 29 September 2023]

I'm not going to lie, I was very apprehensive about seeing this one. However, any doubts I had were quickly dashed away once the story was set and the games began. I was glued to the screen and ready for anything this film had to throw at me, body parts and all.

It was also refreshing to see a Saw film that actually takes itself relatively seriously. The plotline, the acting, the gory torture scenes, even the direction, were all right in line with the first trilogy. This is the first time in over a decade that I felt like the filmmakers actually cared about presenting a well thought out storyline that included John Kramer (Jigsaw) and Amanda Young.

Speaking of the storyline, this is a particularly personal one for the Jigsaw killer. The idea that these people are doing what they're doing makes his psuedo-revenge all the more, for lack of a better word, "sweet" to watch. These people deserved the situation they found themselves in and, in true Saw fashion, the chance for redemption. Makes for some compelling moments, especially the moral conversations between John and Amanda and what their purpose is and isn't. Interesting stuff to say the least.

The torture scenes in this installment are perfect. After being completely let down by Spiral and Jigsaw in that regard, this was a breath of fresh air. Where Spiral and Jigsaw failed was indeed in the torture sequences. They were too tame and the ideas were too farfetched. Not saying this one isn't as farfetched, there is no way someone cutting their own leg off and not going into shock, but there's a certain quality to it all that makes you forget about how little this would occur in real life and, for me at least, that's all I could ask for.

I do have some complaints about the film that made me give it a 4 instead of a 5 out of 5. Either Shawnee Smith has gotten some seriously bad cosmetic work done on her face since the last time I saw her or she has the worst makeup artist in the world. If this is supposed to take place between the first and second installments, then she looks nothing like herself from the film. She is an amazing actress and does fantastically in the role, it was a joy to watch her play Amanda again, but her look just doesn't fit the timeline. I know that people age, but it really did take me out of the film when she's first introduced. It's quite jarring to say the least.

My other complaint is the very end of the film. Not the twist itself, because that was brilliant in my opinion. I almost stood up and cheered. No worries, I will not spoil it for you, but there is no resolution for a certain character. We have no idea what happened with them or where they went, the game just kinda ends. They could have done a bit more to tie things up, but the end credit sequence almost makes up for it by showing us a beloved (in a hate you kind of way) character and gives hope for at least one more sequel. After this one, I gotta say I crave more. I would like just one more Saw film to tie up the storyline from Jigsaw. I would buy a ticket and plant my behind in the seat on day one!

Overall, way better than I expected. I honestly expected complete garbage, in line with entries 4-9. The trailers made the movie look a lot more artificial than it was, and I'm very satisfied that the film was more like the first three installments than the others. If you're a fan of the Saw series, you will enjoy yourself. Now, I don't think this film is going to win over anybody who didn't enjoy the films in the first place, but if you've seen entries 1-3, it's practically a must watch.

4 dismemberments out of 5.

Expend4bles (2023)

I walked out halfway through this absolute mess of an action flick...

[1/10 · 27 September 2023]

This movie is so tedious and stupid, I couldn't take anymore and ended up walking out. The action is bad, the acting is bad, the CGI is atrocious, the direction is limp, the story is scattershot and lacking any sense. This has got to be Sylvester Stallone's worst film so far.

Even the unrelenting violence wasn't enough to keep me interested. Yes, there is plenty of violence, blood sprays and some gore thrown in all over the film. Does any of it make an impact though? No, not one bit. Could care less that they just decapitated a guy with a lightpost, or that the bad guy keeps stabbing everyone with his pointy sticks. Probably because it's all stuff I have seen before in much better flicks than this.

Also, Megan Fox is an abysmal actress. Anytime she is on screen, I was hoping she was the next one to die. I didn't finish the film, nor will I, but I geniunely hope she bites the dust by the end. Not saying anyone else was any better. The only actors here who seemed to care they were in this film were Jason Statham and Iko Uwais. Worst of all is Iko Uwais is an excellent Indonesian actor who probably doesn't know English very well, therefore would have no idea that the lines he's being force fed are some of the worst/corniest lines written for a villian in quite a long time.

Overall, an abysmal attempt at revitalizing a franchise that should have been buried after the first one. This is all ya got Sly? C'mon!!!

0 cgi explosions out of 5.

Outlaw Johnny Black (2023)

Unfortunately, Michael Jai White's charm was not enough to pull it off

[4/10 · 18 September 2023]

Here is a movie that I struggled with. Michael Jai White is a talented actor and martial artist. One thing he is not is a talented writer or director, and it shows with this new film.

On one hand, you have some incredibly funny jokes that even had my small viewing audience busting a gut. Michael Jai White has a great sense of timing when it comes to his delivery and it works in the films favor.

On the other hand, the story is bloated, with about 2 storylines too many. It really bogged the film down and helped contribute to that extremely excessive runtime. Halfway through, I was hoping for the ending, but there was still over an hour of the film left to watch. I, at times, similarly with Black Dynamite. Although that production had much more going on than this film did, but still knew when to cut it and when to let it roll.

As far as his directing talents go, I was vastly more impressed in the first half of the film than I was for the last. It was almost like he gave up on trying to do anything artistic behind the camera and the film just became a strict point and shoot type of production.

The movie is also very racist toward native americans. The lack of respect shown to the culture is jarring, even when presented in a comedic format such as this. The only joke I could get behind was all of the native americans were played by anybody who was not actually native american and this was to parody that fact from the old spaghetti westerns. Very clever, Mr. White. But other than that, it was very racist and not very funny.

Overall, I enjoyed the film in parts. However, it was too long and feature some pretty relaxed racism towards native americans that I'm sure didn't connect in the way that Mr. White had intended. A pity because with some editing and a few tweaks to the screenplay, this could've been comedic gold. I really hope Black Dynamite 2 doesn't turn out like this one did.

2 outlaws out of 5.

The Retirement Plan (2023)

Great story, poor execution, which is perfect for a Nicolas Cage film

[6/10 · 18 September 2023]

Nicolas Cage films are always a hit or a miss, his entire career actually. This is a film that without it's charming cast or it's neatly interwoven storyline would have been a total dumpster fire. Therefore making it a perfect Nicolas Cage film.

The acting ranges vastly from silly to serious, same goes for the films tone. It bounces between funny and dramatic in an instant and it's never sure which one to settle on. However, again with the films strange charm, it's all somehow inexplicably smoothed over in the end.

Overall, I'm surprised I enjoyed it. Most of the film feels like a made for tv special but for some strange reason, I kept wanting to watch til the very end. Am I glad I did? I'm not sure yet, but I do know it was an entertaining way to waste an afternoon.

3 flash drives out of 5.

Zombie Town (2023)

Who the hell was this film made for???

[1/10 · 6 September 2023]

Seriously, it was too childish for adults, yet too adult for children. It can't even decide what kind of film it even wants to be. One moment it's taking the story seriously enough to be a charming cohesive film and the next it's complete bereft of any smarts and is cringe to the max. It was baaaad. If it wasn't for those charming moments, there would have been nothing to save this film from being one of the worst ever made.

Next, lets talk about the Goosebumps vibes this film liberally uses to mask it's awfulness. I get that R L Stine created this story, but you either go full on Goosebumps and make it completely kid friendly without the swearing and blood, or ditch that all together. Felt like a cheap knock off in the end, and further confused me as to why this film exists.

I'm not even going to waste my time complaining about the fact that everybody who's supposed to be a teenager looks like they're in their 40s, including the actual teenagers. Embarrassing.

My last comments on this film will be that it is far too long. This honestly would've worked better as a special Goosebumps tv movie on Hulu or something like that. Not that it would make it anything above average, but easier to swallow than what we got. Literally, when I heard the main character say "Let's go back to the bike shop!" I almost shouted "WHAT FOR, TO WASTE MORE OF OUR TIME?!?!" at the screen.

Overall, I couldn't recommend this one. Even for those looking for a nostalgic trip into the Goosebumps days, it's still terrible. This film makes even the worst episodes look like Oscars material.

½ a simple zombie out of 5.

Bottoms (2023)

A hilariously irreverent approach to growing up a loser

[7/10 · 4 September 2023]

This film is all over the place. It's like someone took one of those romantic teen comedies and turned it upside down and spit on it while calling it trash and a wh*re. It was indeed that wild of a ride. Sometimes it falls a little too hard into parody mode but it also knows when to snap back into reality and make you feel something towards the characters.

The acting here is all really great stuff, especially from the two leads. Their dialouge feels natural to the characters and the actresses deliver it flawlessly!

One issue with the film is I felt like it could have gone just a bit further to shock the audience. Not that there isn't an abudance of gross out or shocking moments, it's just most of them felt tame in the moment.

There's also the issue of the fact that not only would all of these girls be in major trouble for everything that occurs in the film, but they would also be in prison for multiple murders. I know it's just a movie, and the reality in this one is very far away from ours, but there is a point where you have to say "c'mon, really?"

Overall, I recommend it. Even though it's very based in it's own fantasy world, it's a very involving one that is sure to entertain you with it's wacky antics and hilarious consequences for our team of female badasses!

3.5 bottoms out of 5.

The Equalizer 3 (2023)

A surprisingly solid final entry in The Equalizer trilogy

[8/10 · 3 September 2023]

It's not very often you see a second sequel in a film franchise and it actually turns out to be a very good movie. In fact, most of the time, they end up being some of the worst. Thankfully, this new entry by series director Antoine Fuqua and star Denzel Washington is a fantastic example of how to do a sequel right.

I will say the film is not perfect. There are a few storylines that don't quite add up to anything, like Denzel's character having flashbacks of his murders and how bereft and awful it makes him feel. Something thay could have and maybe should have been explored just a bit more. However, that is ok because the film swiftly picks itself up and in the days where most films like this are over 2 hours long, this one keeps it's pace and doesn't overstay it's welcome. Good choice on the writers and directors part.

The acting throughout the film ranged from good to fantastic. It seemed everyone was pretty much on point here as far as what their characters needed and how to display that to the audience. It was also lovely to see Dakota Fanning and Denzel Washington back together. I would love to see them work together in other films because they have fantastic on-screen chemistry.

Overall, one of the best sequels to a film I've seen in a long time. Although, not an entirely necessary one, but the story and acting is good enough to justify it's existence. Plus, can you really go wrong with Denzel?

4 italian mobsters out of 5.

Climax (I) (2018)

One of the only films to give me genuine anxiety

[10/10 · 29 August 2023]

If you do not like dancing, you will not like this film.

If you do not like experimental editing, you will not like this film.

If you are expecting a straight up horror film, you will not like this film.

If you came in expecting anything but a Gaspard Noe films, you will not like this film.

This film is really one of a kind and that's what makes it special. The dancing, the energy, the orgy of insanity that intensifies to a genuine peak of an ending. I loved every minute of it. Everybody involved in this film believes in it, and you can tell. Amidst all the depraved behaviour, there is a beating heart in there waiting to be devoured by us, the audience.

Again, loved this film when it came out and still love it today!

The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023)

Nearly put me to sleep...

[3/10 · 13 August 2023]

I hate to say it, but this film was boring! Sucks because the sets are wonderful, the cgi never felt out of place, the Dracula design is cool, the cinematography looks sharp... it has all the ingredients to be great vampire flick, where does it fail? In it's story delivery.

The dialog is stale and unrealistic, the story is very cheesy and plods along at a snails pace, even during the vamp action it still felt rather slow and boring. Worst of all, the film does nothing to try and differentiate itself from all the other modern Dracula films. I mean, the film didn't have to reinvent the wheel or anything, but give us SOMETHING new and different. Vampires have been done up and down at this point. I need something new.

Also, taking a chapter out of an old book and making a movie out of it is kinda stupid in my honest opinion. Why not just make a tv series on the entire book and make this chapter one episode. Would have made this whole thing immensely more exciting if I had some sort of connection to it.

Overall, I couldn't recommend it. If it wasn't for the high production values, I would have rated the film lower.

1.5 doomed voyages out of 5.

Talk to Me (I) (2022)

Overhyped, but well acted horror/drama loses it's steam midway through

[5/10 · 28 July 2023]

A24 has a way of putting out these supposedly great arthouse horror films, but they almost all feel like the story is an afterthought once the filmmakers have come up with their premise. This film is a perfect example of that.

Midway through the film, the characters actions and their motivations seem more and more unbelievable until the end when you can't help but think that the main character is either the most naive individual to walk the planet or just willfully ignorant to what is happening to her. The story gets pretty convoluted and the rules of how the hand is supposed to work is never clearly outlined, nor do we find out anything about the hand or it's origin or how these random kids in Australia have it or how the kids all way across the world at the end have it. One of the rare films where I would've like some elaboration on what was going on.

Also, this film forgets the most important part of being a horror film. It's just not scary. Jumpscares only take you so far. Everybody talking about this film being brutal and shocking must be lying as well. If seeing someone hit their head on a table or a wall is gruesome to you just because blood is present, I'd have to say you're very weak stomached.

Overall, a disappointing film. It is well made and the premise is a solid one. It's just a shame the filmmakers didn't do more with it.

2.5 psychic hands out of 5.

Prisoner's Daughter (2022)

Great performances are hindered by a ho-hum plot

[5/10 · 5 July 2023]

This film is basically a showcase for Brian Cox and Kate Beckinsale. If it wasn't for their acting talent, this would have been torture to sit through. The story is basic and the dialouge can feel stilted more often than not. The plot devices used here are also as stale as a day old hot dog. Been there, seen it, got the movie ticket. I would like to mention that the only thing keeping me from rating this a 3 instead of a 2.5 is the ending. It didn't feel natural with the story and felt like a cop out for all the emotion the audience is asked to invest throughout.

Overall, you could do better and you could do worse. This film is very middle of the road entertainment, no matter how talented it's lead actors are. The material just never rises about mediocrity.

2.5 dirtbag dads out of 5.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

The direction of Steven Spielberg is sorely missed

[2/10 · 2 July 2023]

I mean, even Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull was more exciting than this. The action scenes hold no weight, the ending makes absolutely no sense, and, let's just face facts here, Harrison Ford is too old to be playing Indiana Jones. This film should have been done 10 years ago if they really wanted to pull it off. There is also no torch passing here. It ends as tho Indiana Jones might not be done with his adventures, but that also doesn't make any sense. We will never get another Indiana Jones movie with Harrison Ford again, so what was the point of that ending? It brought zero closure. It would've been more fun to just leave him in the past like he wanted and then come back to the future to see what he had changed. Instead, we get some sort of phony reunion that had next to nothing to do with the story.

The acting on display is actually pretty good all things considered. Even if Ford is too old for it, he does give the performance his all. It's always nice to see Mads as a villian as well, but at this point it feels kind of typecasted to him, so take it with a grain of salt. My biggest problem with the casting here is that they had casted Antonio Banderas and gave him nothing to work with. He had maybe a paragraph of lines total. Made his cameo feel like a wasted opportunity, and severly underutilized his acting potential.

The direction James Mangold brought was ok, but it was missing the flash and zip that Spielberg brought to the series for the previous films. If I were a studio exec, I would think twice before hiring him to do a film like this again.

My final gripe for this one was the overabundent use of CGI. The de-aging they used for Ford character in flashbacks was more of a distraction than an asset. It made it look like Indiana Jones had no emotion in scenes where he really should have been emoting.

Overall, I hated it. By far, the worst in the series. It closes out Indiana Jones with a whimper instead of the bang the character deserves. Couldn't recommend it unless you absolutely need to see. It can wait until streaming.

1 old timer out of 5.

God Is a Bullet (2023)

I really wanted to like this, but there is just not much to like here

[3/10 · 27 June 2023]

Let me start by saying that this movie is about an hour too long. The story should have been made for a swift and violent revenge flick. Instead, it's a contemplative, meandering, and, above all else, boring mess of a movie. The film has far too many scenes covering all of the things the audience doesn't care about and it drags the final product all the way down to the ground.

The only good things I can say about my experience is that the cinematography is on point and the film feature some very strong acting from it's lead roles. However, some of the lines the leads had to say were so incredibly unbelieveable, it was almost not worthy of the acting talent on display.

My biggest problem with this film is that it trys to be edgy and punchy with it's violence, but completely forgets to create an impact. Thinking back on films with similar tones, I can't help but be reminded of the strangulation scene in No Country For Old Men and how horrifying it was watch. Same with the film Blue Ruin and it's extreme bursts of ultraviolence that absolutely shocked me in the moment. The movie just doesn't come close to that, and it really should have. Might have saved the film from being below average.

Overall, if you're really interested, you could do worse. However, I personally couldn't recommend it due to it's excessive runtime and it's failure to shock and awe the audience.

1.5 vengence filled individuals out of 5.

No Hard Feelings (2023)

If it wasn't for Jennifer Lawrence's acting, this would've been a bomb

[6/10 · 24 June 2023]

This is a film that I struggled with. It's funny, has good acting and has some great comedic set pieces. The story, however, was incredibly pedictable and very much a by-the-numbers romcom. As entertaining as the film is, the story gets in the way more often than not and makes the comedy of the film feel confined. Like this could have been much more funny. They also showed wayyy too many of the good parts in the trailer, unfortunately. Overall, I would recommend it. Seeing J. Law is well worth it as this is probably her most cynical and hilarious performance to date. The surprising chemistry between her and the lead kid also makes it worth it as well.

3 beaten clothes theives out of 5.

Sanctuary (I) (2022)

A love story... of sorts

[7/10 · 5 June 2023]

While it is not a perfect film, Sanctuary does win points for it's creativity and craft. The story is handled with care, although it is a bit bloated. However, this allows the viewers the full view of the situation, something that I appreciated. It really doesn't skimp on the details.

The two leads are fantastic in their respective roles and manage to be the only actors on screen for the entire runtime, which is a feat I certainly applaude. Not many actors or actresses can pull that off without the audience feeling exhausted by their performance, especially with having to do such long takes as well. Very impressive.

Speaking of long takes, I really enjoyed the cinematography. The sweeping camera motions, and the way the moods are captured throughout are subdued just enough to not overshadow the narrative, but are wild enough for a slick presentation.

Coming to the ending, it was a bit predictable. But there's something about such a sweet ending that made me feel like these two deserved it. For all the mind games and the fighting, it felt like the right place, right time, even if it was a bit too convenient for this particular story. Any more would have felt like too much.

Overall, I recommend it. It has a few downfalls, but they are easily overlooked by the simple but charming story of a dominatrix and a rich kid falling in love through blackmail and vitriol.

3.5 secret videos out of 5.

The Boogeyman (I) (2023)

The acting and the jump scares are top knotch, but the story and the pacing was sloppy

[6/10 · 2 June 2023]

This could have been a great horror film. The dread is there, the sets and lighting is perfect. You never really get a good look at the creature, and I felt that worked towards making the film much more suspenseful. The acting is all servicable and the characters feel real, for the most part. My issue with the film was how closed up the father was towards his wifes death and talking with his daughters about it. Seemed very unrealistic for how close they all seemed and only frustrated me in the end.

The pacing was also very off. The opening seemingly took forever to get to any of the good stuff, and when it does get there, we're thrown from scene to scene with almost no set up to it. Some of it felt like they were just throwing ideas for scary scenes at us. Almost as if they had no connection to the story other than the creature and the protaganists.

The film actually started out as a 1.5/5 stars but worked it's way up to 3/5 by the end of it. If the director and writers didn't put the effort into making us care about the characters, then it would've stayed a 1.5, but thankfully, they grew on me and by the end of the film, I was hoping they would make it out alive.

Overall, not a bad film. Slightly above average, but just be aware that it is not a perfect horror film and it does have it's fair share of problems and pacing issues throughout.

3 bumps in the night out of 5.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Miles Morales is the Spiderman we've always wanted!

[10/10 · 2 June 2023]

Not just in his character, but the way his story is interwoven with the entire spidey-verse is just plain genius. The amount of callbacks and references throughout was a delight, and none of it felt forced. Everything flowed naturally with the story. Some are saying the film is a bit too long. I disagree. I would've sat there for another 2 hours just to see how this story is going to end, and what else they could've done with this art style. My booty would've been sore, but my mind would've been a happy camper! If you do decide to see this, which you 100% should (it may be the best film of the year, but still too early to tell), see it in the IMAX format. It's absolutely breathtaking and you can really see the attention to detail put into the absolutely jaw dropping artwork on display here. Overall, I highly recommend it. Bring the whole family. You'll be enchanted by the story, while the kids will be distracted by the artwork and awesome chase sequences.

5 spideys out of 5.