tom09 Reviews

Snake Dancer (1976)

Snake On A Plain Jane

[3/10 · 18 November 2006]

"Snake Dancer" is a semi-autobiographical tale of a young South African woman who dabbles in exotic dancing to help pay her way through college (and yes, she occasionally incorporates a large snake into her act), running afoul of repressive South African authorities and a disapproving fiancé.

While the star, Glenda (playing herself), doesn't lack for enthusiasm during her routine, watching a skinny, average-looking woman wave her gangling arms around and thrust her pelvis out repeatedly like a bad go-go dancer doesn't exactly float my boat. Erotic, her act ain't. Is "Snake Dancer" a potential candidate for bad movie fans? Well, there are a few risqué moments (in spite of the bad dancing, her routines later in the movie got my attention at times), and fans of terrible disco music and tacky mid-70s hair and fashions won't be let down. The film is shoddily-made, slightly naughty, and a bit ridiculous, but never quite enough to push the material over the top.

Full-frame, the Mondo Macabro DVD presentation isn't too bad (using what appears to be a tape source for the last reel, as mentioned in the movie's opening disclaimer), and includes a couple of interviews, some background information on the film and its star, and the usual promo reel.

Black Samurai (1976)

Amateurish Junk; Its Reputation is Unwarranted

[1/10 · 29 October 2001]

I never thought I'd see something that makes "Astro-Zombies" look like "Citizen Kane", but "Black Samurai" succeeds in this dubious honor. The word "poor" can't begin to describe this cheap, slapped-together bit of tripe; the flick's unrelenting stupidity and general half-assedness make its reputation as a guilty pleasure completely undeserved. Sure, it had a couple of mildly amusing moments (the jet-pack silliness and a bit of the midget-fu), but it's mostly a painful endurance test, even for those of us accustomed to laughing at grade-Z exploitation flicks. I seldom feel embarrassed for the actors in these sorts of things, but watching Jim Kelly flail around in this awful mess evoked a genuine feel of pity for the guy in me (I might add that this empathy completely evaporated when I learned that he starred in another of Al "Hack" Adamson's martial arts "extravanganzas" after this...shame on you, Jim Kelly!).

If you're in the mood for an amusing martial arts movie, track down something enjoyable like "Black Belt Jones" or "Master of the Flying Guillotine." Leave this wretched time-killer on the shelf gathering dust, where it belongs.

Tender Flesh (1997)

Wretched Take On "Most Dangerous Game"

[7 July 2001]

I'm more than slightly embarrassed to admit that I'm a fan of some of Jess Franco's earlier output, but "Tender Flesh" is simply indefensible. No one watches a Franco film for great storytelling, true, but his better movies are likeable despite their flaws, and draw in aficionados of the bizarre with their surreal atmosphere, off-the-wall sets and fashions, and groovy music. "Tender Flesh" has none of these strengths; it's just a tired walk over old ground. Franco's done a version of "The Most Dangerous Game" before ("The Perverse Countess"), also with a naked Lina Romay (who looked great in the buff twenty years ago in "Female Vampire"; not here, though), but this "remake of a remake" has none of the off-kilter, loopy feel of that film. I didn't find it bizarre, shocking, or even entertaining, merely dull. Pick this up if and only if you have an unquenchable desire for Franco, no matter how loudly he scrapes the bottom of the barrel.