ottaky Reviews

Densha otoko (2005)

Chick flick

[3/10 · 21 February 2006]

My wife went back to Japan over Christmas and, as usual, returned with a suitcase full of video cassettes that her parents and friends had recorded for her. Amongst the tapes this time was a series of TV shows called Train Man which, so I'm told, is a spin-off series from this film. I didn't watch the tapes because they were sans English subtitles, but my wife explained the plot to me which sounded marginally interesting.

My wife enjoyed the tapes enough that she ordered this film on DVD and we sat down to watch it last night.

Oh dear - not my kind of film at all. I guess it can best be described as a romantic comedy, but there was precious little comedy to be seen. The romance was of the type I associate with Japanese TV - schmaltzy, twee and hopelessly overwrought. The acting was nothing special - in fact, I found the Train Man character himself to be particularly unbelievable and his hammy mannerisms to be deeply irritating.

Overall I find it difficult to recommend this film - it's just a below average TV show stretched out to an hour and forty minutes.

The Sun (2005)

Hmmmm ...

[7/10 · 5 September 2005]

I've waited 24 hours before reviewing The Sun in the hope that a day to reflect might produce some kind of insight into what I saw - unfortunately, that hasn't happened, so you're stuck with the same thoughts that I had yesterday.

If you're looking for some enlightenment into what goes through the mind of a god soon to be demoted to a mere mortal in the face of a crushing national defeat, you won't find much to help you out in The Sun. Unless you're one of those people who believes that those thoughts would have something to do with crabs.

So, what do you get in return for a ticket? The film itself is very dark - and by that I mean that there's very little light. Shot almost exclusively indoors with very little additional lighting the result is an effect that would be interesting in a single photograph, but becomes tiresome over the course of 110 minutes. Yes, it builds atmosphere, but it just became irritating to me.

Issei Ogata as Hirohito is very good, but his inability to keep his mouth closed and immobile when he's not speaking seems to be an embellishment too far (unless the real Hirohito actually did this). Most of the Japanese actors are excellent, in fact.

Robert Dawson as MacArthur is terrible - calling him wooden would be to slander actual wood.

The soundtrack is quite bizarre but, for the most part, works well to create a background tension which the script can't quite manage. If you've ever wondered what a segment of Wagner's Ring Cycle would sound like juxtaposed against the beat of a radio's heterodyne, this could be your film. Sometimes the only sound is the ticking of the clock - which is probably intentional again but ....

I realise that I'm not building a very good case for going to see this film, but the truth of the matter is that, as a whole, I found that I couldn't help myself from watching despite its flaws.

Watching this film is an interesting experience, but it will probably only appeal to you if you enjoy something that's quite challenging to sit through and you can forgive a script that ignores what could be interesting directions in favour of exploring the mundane.

Oldboy (2003)

Fun, but ultimately flawed

[7/10 · 26 February 2005]

I wasn't able to find the time to see Oldboy at the cinema despite the overwhelming praise it received on release, so I had to wait until today to see the DVD.

Looking at the voting results here the split between the usual "love it" or "hate it" responses are even more marked than usual and I've been looking forward to the DVD release so that I could make up my own mind. I'm a little disappointed to admit that I neither love or hate Oldboy.

Oldboy is not a bad film, but it didn't bowl me over as I'd been hoping - maybe the months of anticipation meant that my hopes were always going to be dashed.

The main problem with this movie is that it's just not very well explained. OK, that can be expected in the beginning where we are all as confused as Dae-su Oh, but too much of Oldboy is played out without the audience having much of an idea about what they're seeing.

The explanation, when it arrives after a brief period of simplistic detective work, is something of a disappointment and, frankly, seems fairly trivial compared to the effort expended on exacting revenge for it. Dae-su Oh had forgotten the incident himself, and I really couldn't blame him.

Overall, definitely worth watching for the great atmosphere and some nice set pieces, but a little underwhelming in the final analysis.

The Core (2003)

Disastrous movie

[17 November 2004]

By far and away the most ludicrous action / disaster movie in the history of cinema. Armageddon raised to the power of infinity and then stripped of anything resembling logic.

Imagine taking the very worst elements of the most brain dead disaster movies, putting them all into a trough, adding the most appalling pseudo science and then mixing it all up with a big, wooden spoon and pouring the result into a bucket of puke. That's the movie that The Core *wanted* to be, but it fails to live up to even that lowly ambition.

Just how bad is it? It's worse than Congo.

Enough said.

Nobody Knows (2004)

Just a little too long

[6 November 2004]

This is a great film with four very solid performances from the kids and all credit must go to the director for ignoring the "never work with ..." adage.

I particularly liked the way that some of the plot developments were purely visual and that we didn't have to suffer the Hollywood dumbing down of having the visual clues explained to us in dialogue.

Unfortunately, I found this film to be overly long. I started fidgeting around the 90 minutes mark with about 45 minutes left to go. It's just that I felt the film got into a bit of a rut by repeatedly showing the day to day lives of the kids when their day to day activities were in themselves repetitive. The story kicks back in with a vengeance eventually, but there's a definite lull in the last third of the film.

Definitely worth watching if you get the chance, but probably better on DVD with a thumb poised over the fast forward button on the remote.

Mystery Train (1989)

Worth watching for the cast

[20 September 2004]

Steve Buscemi, Joe Strummer and Maiku Hama (Masatoshi Nagase) - together at last!

Unfortunately, in this instance, the cast are let down by a less than inspiring script. Buscemi turns in what has become his signature performance, Strummer acts (or maybe is) drunk and Nagase doesn't really have very much to do or say as Jun.

Mystery Train is not a bad movie but, by the same token, it's not a great movie. In fact, it's really 3 short movies covering roughly the same time frame that all incorporate one hotel. I can't help thinking that the film might have been more interesting if the three threads had been inter-cut, but not intersecting, to give the illusion of a more complex plot - but, hey, I'm not a director.

Mystery Train is watchable, but it fails to live up to the reputation of Jarmusch's Down By Law which is far superior in nearly every respect. Worth catching if it's on TV, but not if Down By Law's on the other side.

Kyoki no sakura (2002)

It's definitely different

[17 September 2004]

Clockwork Orange meets American History X meets a manga comic book in a Takashi-Miike-a-like movie.

This film's a lot of fun - the obvious enthusiasm of the director is highly contagious. There are sequences of jump cuts that look like a music video, wipes in all directions, arty shots mixed with footage that looks like it was shot on a camera only a step or two up from Super 8.

I'm not entirely sure that the story makes too much sense because I was watching a DVD from Hong Kong with subtitles apparently provided by the same people that write the English translations of the instruction manuals you get with cheap electronic products.

But, hey, if you like Asian films in general, you'll love this one.

The Most Terrible Time in My Life (1993)

What's not to like?

[17 September 2004]

A private eye film, in Japanese, shot in black and white with the hero going by the name of Maiku Hama whose office is in a movie theatre. How can you go wrong with a combination like that?

This is a really clever film that veers confidently between mild violence, comedy and a relatively interesting story line.

It's the little things that really make this film stand out - the scene where Maiku is beaten mercilessly with a stick by his sensei is hilarious. The cold blooded murders aren't graphic, but you'll remember them for a long time. The cinematography is first rate, especially the use lighting which really makes the black and white medium work fantastically well.

Highly recommended.

Dark Water (2002)

Another formulaic Japanese horror

[28 August 2004]

Yet another lacklustre Japanese "horror" riding on the coat tails of Ringu, Dark Water has apparently good intentions which fail to materialise thanks to a script that's dead in the water (hah!).

I mean, just how threatening is a damp patch on the ceiling? Not very.

I'm trying to think of something positive to say, but I'm struggling. Umm. No, there's nothing.

Dark Water is a below average horror movie with no horror, very little suspense, virtually no atmosphere, a plot you could write on the back of a postage stamp and all the excitement of a puddle.

Pinpon (2002)

More than just a sports flick

[27 August 2004]

Ping Pong is an entertaining variation on the tried and trusted idea of friends who are driven apart, and then reunited by something that they have in common. In this case, it's table tennis. In fact, that's pretty much all there is in this film - the relationship between the two lead characters and.. err .. table tennis.

You don't need me to re-iterate the plot, so I won't bother.

If this film has a fault it's that it didn't explore the back story of the relationships between the adult characters - it would have been nice to have seen them fleshed out a little more than they were - and that the screenplay would have benefited from some minor expansion in a few areas and a similar reduction in others.

However, those are very minor niggles about what is a very well executed film that incorporates some unusual direction and that manages to include quite a few celluloid manga moments. My wife laughed out loud at some of the dialogue, so I can only assume that the Japanese soundtrack is more entertaining than the English subtitles, but I found myself enjoying the film regardless.

Oh, and there are some nice location shoots, around Kamakura I think, that show off a small part of the beautiful Japanese coastline.

If you get a chance to see this film in the cinema, do so - you won't be disappointed.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

That's gotta hurt

[30 July 2004]

If you're looking for an original storyline, then you'd best give Ong-bak a miss.

I bought this film on DVD - it has three audio tracks, all of them in Thai, and one set of subtitles .. also in Thai - I don't speak Thai, but I still knew what everyone was saying because the plot is straight out of the Big Book Of Script Writing Formulas (look in the index under Martial Arts, Recovery of Stolen Artifacts). You can start watching this movie anywhere and you'll pick up the plot and the story-so-far immediately.

But, as in all martial arts movies, the plot is just a device to wrap around the fight sequences and Ong-bak more than makes up for the lacklustre story by delivering some very impressive fights and stunts.

Kick boxing may not be the most photogenic of fighting styles, but the skills of Phanom Yeerum really do lift this film head and shoulders above anything in this genre that I've ever seen before in terms of, for want of a better word, artistry.

Overall, this film is well worth a watch - some dodgy wigs, questionable acting and iffy film stock aside.

Odoru daisosasen the movie 2: Rainbow Bridge wo fuusa seyo! (2003)

Move along, nothing new to see here

[7/10 · 24 July 2004]

Bayside Shakedown 2: Save the Rainbow Bridge

This is the second feature-length spin-off from the Japanese TV series and, like the first, it feels over long - as if there's a really good 60 minute TV show trapped inside a 2 hour movie.

There's precious little in the way of back-story, so if you're not up to speed on the relationships, particularly between Aoshima and Muroi, and the internal politics, you'll probably end up a little confused because (I'd guess) this film really doesn't stand up very well out of context.

On the plus side, if you like the series and / or the first film, you'll enjoy this one too because the formula and cast survive intact - the only real difference being a larger budget which the producers decided to spend on bigger set pieces and more location shoots. Oh - one other change between this film and the previous efforts is that the bumbling local police chief's role has been virtually eliminated - which is a good thing.

Ju-on: The Grudge (2002)

Run of the mill Japanese horror

[10 July 2004]

I was looking forward to seeing this film as it had attracted some good reviews in the press, but I ended up disappointed.

The film itself starts off well, but generally fails to deliver anything new or even remotely scary. The best (OK, first) analogy I can think of is a poker hand where you're dealt the ace and king of spades, followed by the queen of spades, then the jack of spades and, as your last card, the two of diamonds. The film has potential, but ultimately fails to deliver anything more than stock horror staples. In fairness, Ju-on does stray from the well worn horror path occasionally, but it doesn't wander very far and always ends up back on the path.

I saw this film with my wife, her friend (both Japanese) and her friend's husband, all of whom are big horror fans - but even they conceded that Ju-on was a very average film. The overall feeling was that the film merits an average 5/10 and a "must try harder" rating.

The Killings at Outpost Zeta (1980)

So bad it's bad

[25 June 2004]

Have you ever watched a film that is so bad you end up thinking "If that film got written, funded, produced and made, just how bad would a script need to be to be rejected?" (see: Congo)

Killings at Outpost Zeta will not answer your question, but it does lower the bar for bad film making to an altogether new level.

This film seems to be the result of taking the worst aspects of Dr Who and Space:1999, combining them into some kind of soulless monster and then stretching the already thin premise out to near monomolecular extremes. Imagine a film student's first attempt at a movie, and then take away any spark of creativity.

Just awful. Avoid at all costs.

Pulse (2001)

30 minutes was all that I could take

[20 June 2004]

I'll lay my cards on the table and admit that I don't go a bundle on horror films, but that I do enjoy Japanese movies

Sadly, I just couldn't get into this one. My (Japanese) wife borrowed the DVD from her friend and watched it last night - today she told me it was "scary" and that she had enjoyed it. Please bear in mind that my wife's favourite film of all time is Mannequin(!)

This afternoon I sat down to watch the disc myself - I switched it off after 30 minutes because, basically, it was just wasting my time.

Dark, dull and unengaging, Kairo is a Ringu wannabe but it has neither the script or the pace to come anywhere close. Reading the other comments on here it seems that Kairo is popular with others, so maybe you need to be a horror fan to appreciate it.

The Twilight Samurai (2002)

Not your average samurai movie

[24 April 2004]

When I saw that Twilight Samurai was playing at the Curzon in Soho it automatically went to the top of my mental list of films to see, scoring points for being Japanese and for featuring samurai - or so I thought. Then I read some reviews which praised the film but described it as a romance, so it then slipped quite a few places down my list - I'm not a romance fan.

Then my wife said she'd like to see it, so we went along despite my misgivings.

I'm glad we went because Twilight Samurai is an enjoyable enough film with a good eye for detail and it re-tells a relatively engaging story in a pleasant enough fashion.

I'm deliberately avoiding using any superlatives in this review - the film is way above average, but it just isn't *my* kind of film. While I can appreciate the excellent technical aspects of the movie, I can't place my hand on my heart and tell you that it's a great movie. Not in my book.

It's unfortunate that the English title for this film mentions samurai at all, because the original Japanese title doesn't and the actual samurai content in this film is very small. That said, the 1.5 swordfights were very realistic.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

You'll enjoy this even if you don't know what's going on

[6 April 2004]

I saw this film in Japan (as Green Destiny) long before it was released in Europe, which was great ... but with one minor drawback - it was shown with a Chinese soundtrack and Japanese subtitles which meant that I, as a determined monoglot, struggled somewhat to keep up with the story. Given the price of cinema tickets in Japan, I was not best pleased.

This might not have been so bad if so many of the characters hadn't been sporting identical haircuts - as it was, I spent the first 60 minutes of the film thinking two people were actually one person. And then there was a flash back sequence that left me baffled for a while. Luckily, my wife was on hand to provide a whispered commentary ("He very impressed her skill" etc.)

But, that aside, this is cracking film that I had hoped Hollywood would take notice of and imitate. Sadly, they have not. This film has intelligence, decent acting, great scenery and, of course, some very good fight scenes.

Well worth a look see if you get the chance .. or buy it on DVD and watch with English subtitles rather than listening to the awful dubbed soundtrack.

Nick of Time (1995)

There's only one reason you should watch this movie

[6 April 2004]

Actually, there are a couple of reasons you should see this movie.

The first, and best, reason is to see Christopher Walken having the time of his life. He's mad. He's bad. He's mad AND bad together. Teriffic.

The second reason is the same as the first.

Apparently I have to write 10 lines minimum for this comment, so

Chris Walken Chris Walken Chris Walken Chris Walken Chris Walken Chris Walken

Congo (1995)

A real stinker

[14 February 2004]

I normally only make the effort to review a film if I enjoyed it, but I'm making an exception this time because Congo is soooo bad that I feel it's my duty to warn you, the film loving public, about just HOW bad this film is.

There really is nothing to redeem this film. Not a thing. Zero. Usually a bad film has something you can take away with you, a small token that saves you from believing you've wasted 90 minutes of your life, but Congo denies you even that simple pleasure. It exists purely as anti-entertainment.

The primary problem with this movie is that it tries to span far too many genres. It tries to be a disaster movie (volcano), a sci-fi movie (lasers, communicative gorilla), adventure movie (lost city) and horror movie (murderous gorillas) yet fails, utterly, to be any of them.

The secondary problems concern the cast, the director, the script and editing, which all suck.

As an example of just how soul-less this mess is, the IMDB lists various shooting locations including Costa Rica, Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda yet there's no sense of "jungle" (as in Predator or the Emerald Forest), it's as if the crew picked the easiest places to film in. Most of the time it looks like Epping forest rather than the congo.

Another example - the party is attacked by mechanical hippos. No explanation is offered for this. One assumes this scene was included purely because all jungle films have a scene where the the party is attacked by the local fauna. This scene serves no purpose. At all.

Damn .. I can't believe I'm wasting my time reviewing this pile of excrement.

You see? That's how BAD it is! Not only does it suck more vigorously than a turbo-charged black hole, it ends up wasting your life too.

Celluloid lobotomy.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

It grows on you

[10/10 · 12 December 2003]

I've lost count of the number of times I've seen this film. The first time I saw it I felt that it was too slow and overly long, but the more times I watch 2001, the more I enjoy it.

I'm only writing this review because 2001 was shown on TCM last night and, as usual, I was unable to resist the temptation to watch it once more even though I knew I had to get up early for work the next day.

I feel that 2001 is Kubrick's best work - the visual effects are incredible considering the age of the movie, the soundtrack (which is used sparingly) is fantastic, the atmosphere is unnerving (just like The Shining) and the actors deliver understated performances which help keep the film believable despite the futuristic (for 1968) setting.

I believe the film has two flaws .. the first is that HAL, who is allegedly incapable of error, fails to predict that Bowman will be able to shut him down with a minimum of fuss (a few seconds burn from Discovery's engines would have left him stranded outside in the pod), and the second is that the ending isn't sufficiently explained. For a film like this the ending should be explained, if only partially, because it would help the casual viewer - anybody requiring an explanation has to resort to the book, but that's not such a bad thing.

If you like your sci-fi with intelligence instead of laser guns, watch 2001.

The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi (2003)

Popularist Takeshi

[8/10 · 25 October 2003]

I'm a big fan of Takeshi Kitano's films and I enjoyed this one despite the fact that it's something of a departure for him.

Your average Takeshi film will consist of himself as a cop / yakuza battling against other cops / yakuza ... he'll win after a brief interlude playing on a beach and then, generally, top himself afterwards. This film is very different. He's not even dead by the time the credits roll. The trademark scenes where virtually nothing is said are gone .. the camera moves around.. there's only one gun .. there's some actual CGI .. and music!

In a way I think it's great that Takeshi's finally made a film that is more "accessable" to the cineplex going public and I hope that he'll begin to receive more recognition as a result. But, on the other hand, I hope that this is brief diversion and that he doesn't stop making the kind of film that he's so very good at.

I would heartily recommend Zatoichi to anybody who wants to see a good Takeshi film, but with the proviso that this is not his best movie and that it's not really representative of his work.

Oh, the fight scenes are really good fun ;-)

Satree lek (2000)

A good sports movie!

[24 October 2003]

You all know the plot .. a team of dis-advantaged misfits takes on the reigning champs and triumph in an emotional demonstration of "heart" and teamwork over the talented, but ultimately flawed, defenders.

You've seen it a hundred times. You'll see it a hundred more times. And every time you see it you'll wonder why you bothered because, generally, these films suck like a black hole.

But not this one.

I can't tell you exactly why this one works .. you know how it will end before you even get to your seat .. but it stands head and shoulders above all of the also rans (see what I did there? A sports metaphor)

Let's be honest - it's a formula film and it's not going to make you think and it's not going to break down the boundaries of film. But it does deliver humour and some passable performances and it does NOT cram "teamwork" down your throat. It's fun.

My second favourite sports film after Slap Shot. And I only like two sports films.

Audition (1999)

Fifteen minutes of fun

[24 October 2003]

I went to see this film, with my wife, on the recommendation of my wife's friend.

About 30 minutes in to the film I was cursing my wife's friend because this film is dull. It goes on and on. And on. And on and on. And nothing very much happens. Then even less happens. And then nothing at all happens. Then the cycle repeats. At various points during this tedium you get the feeling that all is not as it appears, that something nasty's going to happen, but the build up is so gradual that I, for one, was beyond caring.

However, the film finally (and I mean *finally*) comes to life and something happens. That something was enough to prompt several people in the theatre to leave shaking their heads and muttering to one another.

I still can't decide if the film's climax is worth enduring the rest of the movie for. Or, indeed, would the climax be anywhere as near as effective without the proceeding tosh and is it worth enduring that tosh just to see the ending? I guess the answer is that I haven't bought the DVD of the film... so, no, it is not.

Dead or Alive (1999)

Stock violence

[24 October 2003]

This is not one of Takashi Miike's better efforts even though it bears all the hallmarks of his involvement.

I have no idea what the ending was supposed to represent or how it was supposed to relate to the rest of the film, which is a shame because you walk away thinking about the ending and end up forgetting what actually happened elsewhere.

If you're going to watch this film I'd suggest you stop doing so during the Mexican stand off as soon you see something strange happen. That's the end of the film in actual fact, what follows is just plain stupid.

Shiri (1999)

Great action, very little else

[24 October 2003]

This film has some of the best opening sequences I've ever seen.

Really. I had very high hopes for the remainder of the film watching that sequence, but .. .. the film itself blows hot and cold - the action sequences are very well done, providing you suspend your disbelief or leave it outside the theatre altogether, while the rest of the story tends to plod along. I don't think I missed anything in the subtitles, but the identity of the assassin was a complete shock - but only because it was so unbelievable.

Those of you who suffer from motion sickness, beware - there's a lot of hand carried camera work in here that'll have you reaching for those empty popcorn bags. That goes for anybody sitting in the front 10 rows of the cinema too.

Overall though, this is an enjoyable enough film so long as you don't demand too much of the story line.