Change Your Image
notorisk
Reviews
Mystery, Alaska (1999)
sentimental cheese (spoiler)
A recipe for mediocrity
1. Take a script that has been written a couple thousand times before (Mighty Ducks, every Rodney Dangerfield film etc etc).
2. Get a name actor (whose working on at least two other films at the same time) to give a "will work for food" performance.
3. Get sports people to act in it.
4. Pepper said script with many cliches:
-shock horror! The cozy teacher with a heart of gold dies!
-WOW the big muscle guy is actually just a sweet person inside.
-OH NO! The old boyfriend shows up!
-Gee wiz, I hope the scruffy underdog team are gonna beat those a**hole rich hockey players. Awww...they salute the local heroes at the end though...
=heat up in VCR and feel the smell of cheese ooze into your brain
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Blatant rip off (Warning, may spoil film plot).
Has no one noticed what a rip off "The Sixth Sense" is of Bergman's "Fanny och Alexander"? In the film, Alexander has something called den sjetta sansen (=the sixth sense), which enables him to speak with the dead. He also communicates with his dead father, who guides him throughout the film. There is also a scene in which a dead girl vomits on Alexander, she is sick because of evil parents. Sound familiar? Sure as hell does to me.
Mørkets øy (1997)
Norwegian film disappoints again
In the mediocre world that is Norwegian Cinema, Mørkets Øy fits in well with its token plank actors, amateur cinematography (it is SOO obviously not night in that last boat sequence...did they use blue overhead paper on the lens or something?) and contrived "cool" story. The only good thing in the film is the locations, so cudos to the location scout. If you want to see a good Norwegian film, watch "Junkmail" instead.
G.I. Jane (1997)
Predictably awful Demi Moore film
How this film ever got a 6 star average is beyond me. The script is so banal, and frankly an insult to whomevers life it is based upon. The cinematography comes straight from the slick world of advertising, and the talented Ridley Scott should be ashamed. Demi Moore however, shows none a surprise by participating in this film, if one looks at her tracklist. All in all, a "high concept" style film that even Don Simpson would be ashamed of.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
Flash in the pan, so cool it hurts turkey.
How anyone over 14 and interested in movies can like this is beyond me. The cinematography is so sepia slick and nauseating, it makes the whole film look like a dizzy Nike ad. The script is so full of "hey, we are such hardasses and so goddamn cool" Tarantino wannabe ripoffs, one would think the film was a Tarantino spoof. As for the performances, a bigger bunch of planks will be hard to find in any other movie, with Sting scoring lowest in my book. Madonna is world famous for tagging on to whatever is flavour of the month (Dennis Rodman anyone?), so when she set her eyes on Guy Richie...
Sonachine (1993)
A visually fresh and clean film with surprising humour.
Set in the Japanese gangster underworld, Sonatine gives insight into not just Kitanos Murakawa character, but also Japanese culture and behavior, which is quite different from the Scorsese school of western films. Sonatine presents a real story of the mobster tired of a trade he is being squeezed out of by rivals. Kitano is clearly a "less is more" type of actor, but more is shown in his gaze than any other actor, something anyone knowing "Beat" Takeshi's troubled history will understand. Takeshis stand up history also comes across in Sonatines several humorous moments, such as the William Tell sequence on the beach. The cinematography is also absolutely beautiful, nice and simple static shots plus some pretty locations, such as the beach. Sonatine is recommended for its mixture of action, humour and poetically alternative performances.