nak15 Reviews

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)

Here's the Problem

[5/10 · 10 October 2003]

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOIERS*** `Kill Bill Vol. 1' is a good movie that could have been a great movie. Scratch that. It could have been a f*cking unbelievably amazing movie. The problem with this film is simple: too much blood. Too much blood spray (and I mean spraying like a hose), too many severed limbs and too many kills. The film opens with The Bride (Uma Thurman) killing an important character in an intricate knife fight, by the end of that fight that kill really meant something because she worked hard for that kill. However, the closing scene of the film is centered on an immense and implausible sword fight in which The Bride kills about a hundred goons with swords in just a few seconds more than it would take Rambo to do the same with a machine gun. When the scene climaxes with The Bride in a sword dual to the death with another important character it's boring; we have been so convinced that she is invincible that when the fight concludes it is no surprise she won the villain's death is not all that impressive. When a character can kill people like she does housework, watching her kill is like watching her do housework. There were a few other little things that could have been neater, but they're not worth mentioning. Over all it was all right and I am going to see `Kill Bill Vol. 2' when it comes out. 6/10.

American Experience: The Satellite Sky (1990) Season 3, Episode 7

Amazing

[10/10 · 13 February 2002]

This might be the greatest film I have ever seen. Certainly the best documentary ever. The film feels as if David Lynch, Stanley Kubrick and Homer Simpson got together to explain the The Cold War and The Space Race and ended up creating a picture of the futility of existence. Truly Amazing.

Bobby Deerfield (1977)

This is a Great Film to Watch on Mute

[5/10 · 24 September 2001]

If you're looking for a film to leave on while you do other things, this

is your film. The costumes are beautiful and the films should be a

reference point for anyone studying 70s fashion. The shots are

wonderful and the cinematography is great. The race scenes are

fun to watch and really give the audience a visual feeling of a

Formula 1 race. And there are a lot of really good-looking people

in the film who move across the screen like a mixture of racecars

on a track and clouds in the sky. Unfortunately, the story is silly,

the dialogue is awful and the characters are irritating and

unlikable; one has to hold back the desire to slap the female lead

several times. Something for the true Pacino devotee. Ultimately I

gave it a 5.

Bring It On (2000)

A film about Cheerleading

[8/10 · 26 April 2001]

Bring It On is quite simply a film about cheerleading. Yes, there is a

'coming of age' element and a love story and a friendship story and an

overcoming adversity story, but they're not what's important in the

film. It's also pretty funny, but that's not important either. It seems

the film's primary purpose, which it does very well, is to reveal to the

viewer something about the world of compeditive cheerleading and it does

this very

Goodfellas (1990)

Not All That I Hoped For.

[7/10 · 17 February 2001]

Though the cinematography and performances were excellent, the film suffered from a musical score that was disjointed, out of place and distraction from the quality of the film. The cinematography in this film was so amazing that it made want to cry, this film had some amazing shots, which alone make this film something everyone who has a love of film should see. However, the music in the film is a collection of great classic rock songs, which alone are great songs, but are too loud and seem to be disjointed from the scenes which is very distracting. It might be worth it to watch this film with no volume.

The Pledge (I) (2001)

Makes You Want to Die Boring

[1/10 · 31 January 2001]

The Pledge is the story of a newly retired cop (Nicholson) who promises

to find a child's killer to her Christian parents and slowly goes

insane. Nicholson goes insane a little too slowly and it will make you go

insane. It drags and drags and drags and makes you pledge to never see

a film directed by Sean Penn ever again. Then it ends and nothing

happens and you're out nine bucks and two hours. The only good things about this film are that Nicholson and Shepard's

(brief performance) are good and the film is shot really well. The only time I ever want to hear Sean Penn's name and The Pledge in the

same sentence again is when Sean Penn Pledges never to make a film this

boring

Bunny Lake Is Missing (1965)

a lost classic

[9/10 · 31 January 2001]

This film is a lost classic. It is the story of a child who vanishes and soon seems to have never existed at all. It is beautifully shot, beautifully written and wonderfully acted. Olivier is wonderful (so what else is new?) as a cop who missed his calling as a poet, Linley, who's performance is highly underrated, is not out shined or out classed by the amazing British supporting cast. Just a great film to watch.

After the Thin Man (1936)

The Best of the Series

[9/10 · 26 December 2000]

"After the Thin Man" is probably the best in the series and certainly my favorite. The film is laugh out loud funny while at the same time remaining dark, thrilling and sexy. Powell and Loy and wonderful together.

The Iron Giant (1999)

One of the Best Animated Films Ever

[10/10 · 17 December 2000]

"The Iron Giant" is a film about a boy, his beatnik friend, his mother, an insane G-Man and an Iron Giant from outer space in a small town in the 1950s. The film is beautifully directed and the voicing seems to have a depth and character that I can never remember seeing in any Disney film. It is in many ways a re-telling of one of the greatest sci-fi films of all time, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and is just as powerful, intelligent and moving. It is with out a doubt one of the best animated and sci-fi films ever made. Klatu Viratu Niktu (I hope I spelled that right).

Ready to Rumble (2000)

One for the Fans

[7/10 · 16 December 2000]

This is a great film for wrestling fans. The story is a bit hooky and awkward for a film, but it moves just like a WCW or WFF storyline complete with silliness and violence. Oliver Platt is great, Scott Caan has made me a fan and Martin Landau makes a great surprise appearance; also, Goldberg (the toughest Jew on Earth) makes a great cameo.

Slave of the Cannibal God (1978)

Only Somewhat Funny

[2/10 · 15 December 2000]

Unless your sole interest is to see her naked, this is not one of Ursula Andress' best films. In fact, though it does not intend to be, this horror cheese fest's only redeeming quality is that is, at times, pretty funny.

Also, this is does not appear one of those films that ends with a "No animals were harmed in the making of this film." Several critters seem to have met untimely ends during the production of the film.

Mission to Mars (2000)

Surprisingly Bad

[2/10 · 7 December 2000]

You would think a film directed by Brian DePalma starring Gary Sinise, Tim Robbins, Don Cheadle and Connie Nielsen is an automatic combination for a winning film, it's not. You watch the film thinking, "it's gonna get better, it's gonna get better" then by the time the film ends you say to your self, "what the hell was that?" The ending is lame, the begining is lame, the special effects are lame, the story is lame: the film is lame.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Deep Blue Stupidity

[3/10 · 7 December 2000]

This film was really stupid. Renny Harlan, who hasen't done anything cool since "The Long Kiss Goodnight," is at his worse and gets truly lame performances out of Samual L. Jackson and Micheal Rappaport. Also, if you think about it, the actions of the sharks make no sense. At least "Jaws" on it's own level made sense, but this film doesn't make sense on any level. And the sharks looked totally fake, "Jaws" seemed more realistic. I really wish Hollywood would stop using such crappy computer effects and go back to models. The only good part about this film was looking at Saffron Burrows.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Cartoons Kick Ass!

[9/10 · 6 December 2000]

I loved this film! I am a huge fan of the TV show and when I heard that a film was being made I thought it would probably fizzle like the Bevis and Butthead film, but it didn't. The story is brilliantly absurd and well written and just plain funny. Trey Parker proves him self to be a genius to write such an incredible score; Elton John and Tim Rice should go to Trey Parker for advice next time Disney asks them to write a score, hell, Disney should just go strait to Parker. This film is proof that paper cut-outs that follow and great script can be more entertaining than the most expensive Hollywood A-list star. Totally Tits!

Sirens (1994)

Fantastic

[9/10 · 3 December 2000]

A lot of great films have come from "Down Under" in the last ten years and this is one of them. It's wonderfully written, directed, acted and is intellectual without being boring or preachy. Also, the full frontal nudity helps

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Cool.

[8/10 · 30 November 2000]

This film was super cool. It's actually a bit more fun to watch

than Dangerous Liasons and except for the ending, which is a bit

weak, is as good a film. I loved Sebastians's Jaguar XK140 (even though it was not a real

one), I loved SMG's hair it's natural colour and I liked Fred

(of The Howard Stern Show) Norris' bit part in the f

4 for Texas (1963)

A Must See for Ursula Andress fans.

[6/10 · 27 November 2000]

Though it starts off slow and at times is a bit cheesey, this Rat Packer film is actually a lot of fun and the story line is actually pretty good. This film is a must see for Ursula Andress fans. Her performance is great and she is wonderful at being sensual without appearing slutty. She also looks amazing; I have never wanted to be Dean Martin so much in my life.

Charlie's Angels (2000)

Better than expected.

[8/10 · 4 November 2000]

I went into this film really wanting to hate it; to hate Diaz, Liu and especially Barrymore's performances, to hate McG's direction and to hate what I thought would be a stupid script. I was wrong-I loved. I was the most fun I've had at a movie in a long time and totally fell in love with Carmeron Diaz's charecter.

Tank Girl (1995)

Gotta love this movie

[13 August 2000]

IF your looking for a movie that is intellectual, smart, sassy and leaves you thinking you have found the wrong movie. If you're looking for a movie that has its own type of humor, some good laughs, and leaves you thinking that was one silly movie- you've got it. Although this may not be a movie for the average type of person, if you have a sense of humor and adventure you can admire Tank Girl for the work it is and admire Lori Petty's performance in the role she was born for.

Scary Movie (2000)

One of the funniest films ever.

[9/10 · 10 July 2000]

Scary Movie is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.

I think it's success is due to the fact that it has a bi-racial appeal. Special mention to Carman Electra, who was willing to make jokes about herself that I don't think any other actor in Hollywood would make about themselves. James Van Der Beek also makes a great cameo.