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Reviews
Black Mirror: Demon 79 (2023)
Best of the season
Best of the season for me by a wide margin. Clearly a lot of people would not agree but this one had a strong emotional core and a satisfying narrative without being predictable.
Black Mirror is a contemporary version of the twilight zone so I'm not sure why people are so hung up on the technology/sci-fi aspect. Accept Brooker taking the series where he wants to take it. People are rejecting the best episode of the series because it doesn't conform to their expectations of what an episode of Black Mirror should be, that is absurd.
Great performances in the this one too particularly the two leads.
Y: The Last Man (2021)
Lavishly produced series worth your attention
Finished 4 episodes now, I think this is a good show! There has been the occasional moment of daft character behavior but I can tolerate that compared to the typical episode of the walking dead which features more idiotic character work in 4 minutes than this does in 4 episodes.
I've read the original comics and whilst initially I found some aspects of the adaptation jarring I quickly told myself to take it on its own merits rather than get hung up on where it has changed things.
If you're on the fence I suggest giving this a chance, IMHO it deserves a significantly higher rating.
The Horseman (2008)
Brilliantly made...
but this is essentially an exploitation film.
The most outstanding thing is the lead actors performance which was pretty amazing. I was expecting more from the film after the first half an hour or so, but the film never achieves the depth that Peter Marshall's performance suggests. The script doesn't do justice to the production or the acting.
It's enjoyable revenge flick but to try and engage with it on a level beyond that just exposes how silly and tasteless it all is.
Despite these misgivings there is a lot to like about the film and I hope the director and Peter Marshall especially progress to bigger and better things.
Lady Death (2004)
Complete Dreck
I also saw this amazingly bad piece of "anime" at the London Sci-Fi Festival. If you HAVE to watch this thing, do so with a large audience preferably after a few beers, you may then glean some enjoyment from it.
I found the dialogue hilarious, lodged in my mind is the introduction of Cremator. The animation is awful. It is badly designed and badly executed. It may have been a good idea for the producers to have hired at least one person who was not colour blind.
There's nothing else to say really, this film is a failure on every level.
Casshern (2004)
Bloody awful....
This piece of derivative trash has been recommended in the press by reviewers wanting to appear trendy or cutting edge. It has been marketed in such a way that the distributor appears desperate to project the idea of this film being an instant cult classic. This is not cutting edge Asian cinema, it is a nauseating assault on the senses. The director seems to have no idea on how to assemble a coherent narrative or stage even a simple scene of dialogue. The action is as uninspired as the decision to score such sequences with generic rock music. We are also treated to some hilarious heavy handed symbolism, which should you have the misfortune to see this film you will no doubt spot. If you are interested in Asian cinema, do yourself a favour and go watch Chan Wook Park's fantastic "Old boy" instead.
The Work of Director Chris Cunningham (2003)
Ultimately disappointing.
While I am very happy that some of Chris Cunningham's work is now available on DVD, the package is a bit disappointing. Extra features are thin on the ground, I wish there were some commentary and more behind the scenes info. There was a TV series called Mirrorball which had an episode devoted to Chris, why wasn't this on the DVD? This is especially irritating when some of the "All is Full of Love" making of is credited as being from the program. Despite the lack of extras I expected top notch video and audio. But in this area the DVD is also lacking, the video is not anamorphic and the audio is not encoded in 5.1. I'm sure there must be 5.1 tracks for some of the videos. Again I am very happy that this DVD has been released but it could have been so much more; it isn't very good value for 14 quid.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Exciting return to the Terminator series.
T3 surprises in the strength of its story. Most problems with the film lay not in the script. Where T3 fails to live up to its predecessors is mainly in a visual/technical sense. The lighting, framing, editing and music is not up to the level of T2, visually the film lacks drama and makes one long for the artistry that was created through the collaboration of James Cameron and Adam Greenberg. The films design is also not as striking or convincing as T2. The effects are good if not groundbreaking. The film also lacks the epic feel which it should have considering the subject matter. Unfortunately most of the record breaking budget must have been used settling various legal problems. But despite all this the film is great fun, Arnie is amazing and has some good and surprisingly clever lines. Though the film does lack the epic feel this results in a fast paced film that never drags and really makes you wish it were longer. The main chase sequence and bathroom brawl are amazing to behold. Overall, if the first two get a ten this one gets an 8. See it on the big screen!
The Final Conflict (1981)
Jerry Goldsmith is the only good thing about this film.
The third in the Omen trilogy is better than the first sequel. But unfortunately that is not saying much as as that sequel was absolutely dire! The film is not scary, its dull, anti-climatic and less than spectacular (which considering the subject matter it should be).
The one saving grace is Jerry Goldsmiths score which is good. It is also better than the score to the second film, though not up to the genius of the first movie's score. One particular highlight is track known on the release of the score called "The hunt." One can only imagine what kind of score Goldsmith would have delivered had the film been of a better standard.
I give this film 3 out of 10 purely for Goldsmith's score.
The Man Who Wouldn't Die (1994)
Great fun.
I Caught this film late night on BBC2 one Friday and I was pleasantly surprised. Roger Moore is one of my favourite actors but even I have to admit he doesn't have the most glowing CV. This was really good though. There are great performances from Rog and McDowell.
The director skillfully mixes comedy and suspense never overbalancing the film with too much of one or the other. I think it would have been good if the film had of had a slightly larger budget to up the production quality a little, I think then it could have been released theatrically and comfortably made its money back.
I wish Roger were in Moore (good one eh?! erm yeah...) movies but I guess he doesn't have so much time with all his charity work and being on TV etc. No matter, its always a pleasure to see him in a quality film or show.
Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles (2001)
Skank cap!!!!
Quite possibly the biggest blockbuster for the last 20 years!!!!!!!!!!. Seeing Paul Hogan after his triple bypass is a sight for sore eyes. He also looks like Al the care taker at Ward Design (the slave trades biggest secret). Crocodile Dundee 3 starts off like any other hardcore film with gratuitous full backtulls. Paul Hogans left quad is abnormally ripped and you can tell from the scars that some varicose veins have been removed from his weathered forehead. The final confrontation between P.Hogan & The Legend, Hulkster the Bollywood Hogan aka Clarence Bodicker aka Francis Dollahyde, rocks.
The fully CGI battle between the good & evil versions of Paul Backer Hogan is up there with Superman 3. Crocodile D3 is the absolute mutts nuggets. Maximum bacon rind. NEAL BEFORE ZOD KING OF THE BONERS.!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????
Get Carter (2000)
Get bacon!
Yo yo,this movie rocks. Sly eats the meat up against Mickey Rourke when he gets meat butchered in this adaptation of what do you know about hurt Jack comes home. The vein mesh covering 99.9% of Sly's body shows how ripped he is, even if he looks like a big muscle squid of death. Witness the scene in which Sly unloads a triple quadburger on Paul Hogan. Hogan consumed a large part of the budget due to extensive effects make up which isn't very convincing anyway. Paul Hogan's lip-synching is also rather dubious. The major love scene in the movie between Hogan and Bridget Nielsen is very tastelessly shot especial Hogan's wrinkly man-breasts. That esteemed actor Sven Ole Thornsen turns up at the start and gets whipped Sly. This movie rocks the goat's trods. Get Hogan'd!
Beretta's Island (1993)
Franco Columbu rocks!
Francko Columbo (aka The Ripper) is a superb actor, who could forget him in the classic detective series when he wore that long dirty coat and drove around in a whacked out old car with his pet bloodhound. Anyway back to Beretta's Island, it is one of the best epic action Manganime films I have ever seen. I cannot find enough superlatives for this movie. Franco excels as the cop who will stop as nothing to capture the very young Paul Hogan (the evil drug dealer). Arnold's role is great and its cool to see him getting ripped with Franco!??? The drop kick sequence has to be seen to be believed, it was all, i believe, filmed in camera with no latex involved! Franco's prosthetic ageing make-up works wonders to give him a very convincing appearance. Franco trained hard for a year for this movie and it really paid off. The action scenes are the best i have seen since Spawn, specifically the bit where Spawn does a forward flip with 2 machine guns. The early use of CGI almost tops the innovation displayed in Nightmare on Elm Street 3. Lance Henrickson cameos as a street punk who gets whipped by Franco. Try and spot Dudley Moore in the apartment shoot-out scene. Bill Paxton also features as a villain who uses double Uzi's in the final underwater action sequence. Highly recommended.
Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe (1990)
Sven Ole Thorsen rocks!
This movie is the greatest space adventure film ever made. Sven Ole Thorsen gives the performance of his life, only rivaled by his staring role in the Running Man. No wonder they decided to make him the star of Gladiator (playng the ultimate warrior Tigris). The special effects will blow you away, never before have old yogurt pots been put to such good use. The stunning use of bullet squibs has yet to be rivaled (apart from in Lance Henrickson's Hard Target). Who the hell is Jesse Ventura? He is nothing compared to Sven. Basically if you like the Matrix you'll love this. Abraxas Guardian of the Universe is the greatest movie since Crocodile Dundee 2:lost in New York. Paul Hogan also cameos as a street punk who gets whipped by Sven.
Red Sonja (1985)
Lots of problems but still fun...
Firstly, it has to be said this film would be nothing were it not for Schwarzenegger and Ennio Morricone. The story makes as much sense as you would expect and there are a few good lines. All the actors are rather wooden which is not necessarily a bad thing as it makes Brigitte Nielsen's performance more bearable.
The films' score is good, the only problem with it being the monotonous vocals; a bit more lyrical variety is would have been appreciated. The sound effects are pretty good too, despite the mono soundtrack.
Red Sonja features some of the best swordplay of the Schwarzenegger Sword & Sorcery films. I did not spot one stunt double in the fight scenes. Schwarzenegger shows great confidence (as expected) in the action scenes.
The cinematography is nice, as are some of the visual effects, with matte paintings courtesy of the master, Albert Whitlock. The look of the film is a little cheesy but nevertheless nicely designed.
The little kid may be annoying to some but he actually gives an OK performance; when asking Sonja to teach him to fence more depth of character is revealed.
I cannot help but enjoy the film as a guilty pleasure. It is certainly not perfect but it has a good score, fun action, Schwarzenegger and cheese galore.
Harry Hill (1997)
Classic surreal comedy
Another great piece British comedy. I don't think they will ever make another series, but we can dream. So what if every show was a variation on the same theme, that allowed the jokes to build, though I'm sure it left some new viewers somewhat perplexed. I really hope Harry Hill is given the opportunity do do something on his own terms again with a decent budget. TV burp was entertaining but its compressed production schedule and late night slot could not support the more complicated sketches that would often feature in the Harry Hill Show. Curse Channel 4 for burying the third series! I want to see Burt Kwouk doing the hey little hen dance again. A release on DVD is long overdue.
The 6th Day (2000)
Very entertaining action comedy with a heart and a message...
This film is good fun. There are some nice effects and some great comedy. Arnold gives one of his cheesier performances (his acting is very ott in places) but it works for this movie, his acting just made me me laugh even more. I loved it when Arnold tasted the breakfast his daughter makes him. It also greatly amused me when he revealed he is still as strong as ever at the beginning by showing off his bicep to his on-screen wife. Sure the film has its flaws. The script is over written (I read an earlier draft of the script which I think was better) and the action could have been much better. But i haven't enjoyed myself this much at the cinema in a while. Better than MI2 that's for sure.
Maid Marian and Her Merry Men (1989)
Good Show
The comprehensiveness of the IMDb never fails to amaze me. I found this shows listing after viewing the page on Nicholas Roegs classic "Don't Look Now." Anyway, I remember watching this TV series when I was a kid and it was good fun. The guy that played Robin was great and it was good to see Danny John-Jules in another role. I managed to download some episodes from the UKnova bit torrent site so if you know anyone's who is registered there or if there are some spaces you know where to look. Hopefully one day we will see a commercial release on DVD in Britain so everyone can enjoy this series. The Beeb don't make quality children's programming like this anymore.
Edit: I see the first three series are now out on DVD, great news.
Earthworm Jim (1995)
Delightfully bizarre animated series.
I loved this show as a teenager. The surreal gags and post modern humour were something of a breath of fresh air at a time when much of children's animation had lost its charm and imagination. The voice actors all do a very good job, Jim is voiced by none other than Homer Simpson himself! It would be great to see this get a release on DVD with some nice extras. Some concept art would be great to see, I love Doug Tenaple's creations. Some of my favourite memories of the show...Psycrow getting high on coffee, Jim having his photo taken with the Giant Fur Bearin' Trout, The Hamstinator and the guy that can turn his eyelids inside out.
End of Days (1999)
Not classic Schwarzenegger but enjoyable nonetheless.
I was a little disappointed with End of Days as I was expecting an all out actioner (like Predator for example) but Peter Hyams seemed to be more interested in the atmosphere of the movie than the action. I must say I really liked cinematography and set design. The fights and action sequences are more subdued than other Schwarzenegger films such as Predator or True Lies. I think the action scenes required a director with more panache. But, I did love the fight in rain, It was strange seeing Arnie really get beaten down. The traditionally heroic characters he plays mean this scene has a real impact.
It would be hard for anyone to claim this film had a good script. I would have preferred if the filmmakers had gone the whole hog and left out the traditional on liners and made the film really bleak. What we end up getting is a muddled narrative which is a means to an end for Peter Hyams to play about as Cinematographer and for Arnold to try a more challenging role. I cant help thinking that had Arnie's I Am Legend movie not fallen through we would have had both great cinematography and an interesting role for Arnold, plus a terrific story.
So in summation I would recommend End of Days to all Schwarzenegger fans, you will find much to enjoy but everyone else might be disappointed in the weak script.