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Reviews
Tombstone (1993)
I got two guns - one fer each o' ya!
Tombstone is pretty darn good; it's a kind of epic story, a great example of post-modern Western storytelling in the same vein as Unforgiven, portraying the Old West as a strange mixture of the best and worst of humanity, sometimes clean, civilized and chivalrous, sometimes harsh, filthy and barbaric. It has a good story, although it runs a little too long, and the direction and cinematography is splendid.
But Tombstone is a great film because of its cast, especially one Val Kilmer, who turns in the best performance of his career as Doc Holliday, a legend with both the pistol and the shotglass. I can count at least two dozen of Holliday's lines that qualify as classics ("Maybe poker's not your game. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!"). Kilmer's delivery is the real key, and he gives a memorable performance that really carries the film, and makes Tombstone not just a good drama but an excellent entertainment.
Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
They should have made only one
Many great artists have composed masterpieces under the heavy influence of hallucinogenic drugs. That is no excuse for Highlander II. This is among the saddest movies ever made. Artificial ozone? Sean Connery back from the dead? The PLANET ZEIST?!?!? This movie is a low point in human history. What surprises me the most is that they actually dared to make a THIRD movie. Don't even bother with The Quickening, just watch the first movie and then skip to the third one (after all, that's what the producers did). Highlander II will be immortalized as one of the true failures of cinema.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
When Cameron was in Egypt's land...
This is my favorite movie. There are better films, yes, and there are more popular films...perhaps. But Ferris Bueller has always been on the top of my list. This movie succeeds on so many different levels: a teen comedy, a satire, a social commentary, even a promotional film for the city of Chicago. I've seen it a few dozen times and every time I notice things in a whole different way.
The movie, on the surface, is of course the account of how an impossibly carefree senior named Ferris Bueller decides to skip a day of school and take his girl and his best friend out on the town, while setting clever traps and ruses to foil his clueless parents, his nosy sister and even nosier dean. Even on this level the movie is fantastic. But to me, and probably to many others, the movie is not really about Ferris skipping school and having fun. It's really about Ferris skipping school and trying to get his depressed buddy, Cameron Frye, to have fun and learn to have confidence in himself. Cameron is probably the character most people identify with; uptight, unsure of himself, afraid to stand up to his parents. Everyone has part of Cameron inside them at some point in their lives. No one is ever really Ferris. Ferris is the unblemished perfect soul that the Camerons of the world have to put up with: he gets away with everything, has perfect grades, perfect family, perfect girl, and he's always happy. The great thing about Ferris is, he knows all of that, and he's taking this day off to make it up to Cameron.
The film has great characters (very few films capture the true nature of high school like this one; Ben Stein was born for this role), and even better directing: I love the camera work; the quick, rapid establishing shots are priceless. Even the story is excellent; it's sharp and intelligent (though Ferris sure seems to fit quite a lot of activity into one day). I sincerely doubt there's anyone who wouldn't like this movie. It's just great.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Failure
The worst, worst, worst, worst, worst movie ever made. Absolutely appalling. It's excruciatingly painful to watch. I've seen quite a few MST episodes, and many more stinkers besides that. Manos leaves them all in the dust. What a piece of dung. Plan 9 would win an Oscar compared to this trash. It really has to be seen to be believed, but you must do so at your own risk, and be sure to use Joel and the 'bots as a shield...I pity the poor souls that have been subjected to Manos in its full glory. MST can't even make it funny, it's beyond laughable. It's disturbingly awful. I wish I knew some more disparaging terms, I feel I'm letting it off easy. In case you haven't noticed, I did not like Manos, the Hands of Fate.
The Cell (2000)
It's not real
The Cell, initially appearing as though it were simply pieced together from other fantasy films, is in reality a very original and highly intelligent movie that will itself most likely be copied in the near future. It is a very clever story about a psychologist (Jennifer Lopez) who uses a highly advanced virtual-reality device to enter the minds of her patients, which she must use to try and get crucial information from the mind of a comatose serial killer. The mind scenes are of course the most vivid, for they are awe-inspiring and unique. What would the mind of a serial killer look like? The Cell gives us a pretty good idea. Lopez does not need to be a great actress for this role; she puts just enough into this character to make it work. The plot is certainly impossible, and any attempt to explain how the mind probe works would just trivialize the entire film; this is one of those movies where you just need to accept that somehow it all works, and then you can lose yourself in it. The Cell is in the same vein as 2001, Blade Runner, Tron and The Matrix, because it doesn't just provide a new look at an old world - it creates a new world.
Boiler Room (2000)
Surprisingly entertaining
Boiler Room showcases Giovanni Ribisi's best performance so far; he's shaping up to be a pretty big star. His performance and others keep this movie entertaining, and it stays entertaining throughout, despite a plot that derails near the end. Since the movie is about stockbrokers, it gets pretty technical and wordy, but it's not necessary to understand it all; just go along for the ride and Boiler Room is effective and enjoyable.
The Cider House Rules (1999)
A great story brought to life
Here's a great movie based on an even better book by John Irving. Reading the book as a supplement to the film would help you further understand the underlying themes of the story, themes the screenplay sometimes doesn't seem to be completely comfortable with. That's the only weakness of this movie, however. Vivid sets and a fluid plot serve as background to the true strength of Cider House Rules, the acting. This is the best-acted movie of the year, with Oscar-worthy performances appearing in every scene. Michael Caine is at his strongest here as the stubborn but soft doctor/caretaker. For a strong story with strong characters, you can't miss Cider House Rules.
Independence Day (1996)
The greatest bad movie of all time
Much has been made of the flaws of this film: the cardboard cutout characters, the cheesy Hollywood storyline, the plot holes so big the alien mothership could fly through them. Normally these things turn me off to a movie. But ID4 is too much fun, I don't care how bad it is.
Paying homage to 50's invasion movies, 70's disaster movies, Star Wars, War of the Worlds, etc., ID4 digs right in as huge alien saucers drop into our atmosphere and hover ominously over the 30 most explodable landmarks in the world. They soon reveal that they're - gasp! - unfriendly and start wiping out humanity city by city. The rest of the movie follows several groups of characters trying desperately to come up with a way to fend off the slimy visitors.
The fx, of course, are top-notch. There are a few battle scenes that are amazing. The acting isn't all that hot, but Will Smith is his usual perky self (I enjoy describing Will Smith as "perky"), and Bill Pullman brings what he can to the presidency, including a scene late in the movie in which he rallies his attack pilots before the final battle; this over-the-top monologue is by far my favorite movie speech ever. Still brings a tear to my eye. Independence Day would probably qualify for MST3K in a few years, but its cheesiness is forgiven - this movie is too much fun.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Watch it alone
I saw this movie two weeks after it came out, when there were still rumors that the footage was "real." I saw it at night.
I saw it in an empty theater.
It wasn't completely empty. There were about five other people there, but no one was sitting next to each other so you couldn't really tell there was anyone else inside. So it was the perfect atmosphere to see a scary movie.
I don't think I have ever experienced anything more terrifying, more perfectly horrific than the Blair Witch Project. It was not only the scariest movie I've ever seen, but the scariest event of my life (I admit I've led a somewhat tame life). It felt like a three-hour movie; if it had gone on one more scene I would have walked out, that's how intense it was. It is a very different movie, what with the first-person style and hand-held cameras and four-letter words. People either loved this movie immensely, or hated it with a passion. I loved it, it was very effective for me. I think if you watch it in your living room with a bunch of your friends it's not going to work. You have to be able to lose yourself in it. If you can do that, it'll take ten years of your life away. Years from now Blair Witch will be a cult classic, mark my words.
American Beauty (1999)
Beautiful...so beautiful
American Beauty is the greatest movie ever made.
If you haven't already, watch American Beauty by yourself and give yourself some time afterwards to think it over. You will never, ever look at life the same way. It does exactly what movies are meant to do - give us a window into ourselves, and American Beauty does that better than any other film has ever done. No word of dialogue is unnecessary, no character exaggerated, everything is perfect...but if you have seen American Beauty you should know that already. Once you look closer at this movie, and see Beauty in every frame, it becomes so much easier to look closer and see Beauty in everything around you. You think I'm waxing poetic? Then you must not have seen the movie. Every character is a part of each of us: the Lester Burnham of change, the Carolyn of uncertainty and failure, the rebellion of Jane, the defeated Barbara, the false control of Angela and the Colonel, and the real control of Ricky. To me Ricky, not Lester, is the center of this story; he somehow controls or sets in motion the heart of Lester's rebirth and downfall. There are several parts of this movie where I lose control every time I see it, and none more so than the paper bag scene. To me that scene is simply the greatest monologue ever written.
I listened to the message of American Beauty - look closely and you can find Beauty in anything - and it changed my life. I rose out of a long, deep depression and started out into the world. Sometimes there is so much Beauty in the world, I can't even stand it, and it feels like my heart is going to burst.
This is the most beautiful movie I have ever seen.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
Now HERE's a movie!
The Sixth Sense is among the most well-crafted stories of our time. I loved the director's style and approach not only with the camera, but with the way the camera helps tell the story. I'd like to think that if American Beauty had not been made this film would have snagged the Oscar.
Of course, the best part of Sixth Sense is the ending, which I hope stays a secret forever. Public revealing of the ending would be worse than genocide, in my opinion. The movie is great the second time around, especially when you're with newcomers, because it's SO obvious to you and you can't believe they don't get it. What an amazing feeling it is when you finally get the ending, it's indescribable. Better than "Rosebud," better than "Luke, I am your father," better than Keyser Soze. You get my drift.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
The last non-gross teen comedy
What we have here is yet another highly enjoyable but predictable teen comedy about characters displaying realistic teenager qualities in rather outlandish circumstances. It's very very funny though, and even sweet in a way, and the plot would be fabulous if it hadn't been lifted from Shakespeare. As in all teen flicks there are characters everyone can relate to and sympathize with; I liked Daria-like Kat (Julia Stiles) particularly. A very good movie, not great, but very good.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Is that...lee-gul?
I will never forget that moment, on May 19, 1999, in the General Cinema 14 at Mall of America, as the lights dimmed, the previews ended, and the Fox logo appeared on the screen, followed by the Lucasfilm logo. I have never heard such thunderous applause in a movie theatre. Applause for the Fox logo, applause for the Lucasfilm logo, applause for the "long time ago" card. Then silence.
Then Star Wars.
The words Episode I rolled onto the screen and the place went nuts, because those were the words that an entire generation had spent their whole lives waiting for, the movie that for so long was just whispers and rumors. We always knew it was coming, and now it was here.
And it was pretty good, too. A lot of people hate Phantom Menace. Of course they do, they've spent fifteen years building up this fantastic idea in their head about what this movie would be, so how could it live up to their imagination? I realized that going in, and so I didn't expect much. And I got a lot more out of the film than some people. I feel sorry for the people who didn't like Episode I. They're missing the whole point of Star Wars...it's a post-modern fairy tale, with good guys and bad guys and action and love and everything else. Of course it's predictable! This is a prequel, you know which characters are going to live (though I was surprised at the ones who died). Of course Jar Jar was written in to attract kids...STAR WARS IS FOR KIDS! That's why a lot of people didn't like this film...they loved the trilogy because they watched it when they were little kids, and grew up watching it and were mesmerized, and now they're adults and they've lost their child eyes and their imaginations and they expect Star Wars to grow up with them. That's really sad. Ask a 6-year-old and he'll tell you he loves Phantom Menace just as much as the other movies. I love Phantom Menace because it reminds me of when I was a kid with an imagination and I had every Star Wars action figure (I've still got 'em, they're probably worth thousands). I would still rank this movie fourth on the Star Wars list...but it's far superior to a LOT of movies that just don't have the heart.
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Revenge of the Jedi still sounds better
I wonder if there is a point to writing comments for the Star Wars movies. 99% of the population has seen Star Wars and the people that haven't have undoubtedly been bombarded with Star Wars Star Wars Star Wars for so long they don't need a little online review to tell them it's good. Everyone of course loves Star Wars, and all these comments are just people saying precisely why they love it, or are lying and saying they hated it just to get people riled up.
Anyway, Return of the Jedi is the 'final' chapter of the 'trilogy,' and while I agree with most people that it's not QUITE as perfect as the first two, I still consider it an incredible movie, with great effects and a great story. Certainly the best scene is the final showdown between Vader and Luke and the Emperor, it takes my breath away and if I'm in the right mood it makes me cry too. Yoda also has one of the best deaths in cinema history, and another scene I love is when C-3PO is telling the Ewoks about all of his adventures, and the other characters are standing in the shadows, realizing how old they've gotten, how far they've come and how much is still ahead. Oh yeah, and the space battle has no equal. I don't think this movie gets the credit it deserves...how would you like the saga to end?
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Can't get much better than this
As far as movies go, The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars film. It's arguably the most important one, as it builds up the story arc with all its little plot twists, including a surprise ending that ranks right up with Usual Suspects and Sixth Sense. Of course, everyone in the world knows about Luke and Vader now, so I can only hope people can keep Keyser Soze's secret a bit more secret. Anyway, it's really kind of a letdown that Star Wars was nominated for Best Picture but ESB wasn't (just try and name the 1980 winner, go on). This is the finest sequel ever made, much better than Godfather II, and it deserves not only a few Oscars but a lot more money too...it's been knocked out of the Top Ten, a fate that no Star Wars film deserves, especially the best one.
Star Wars (1977)
Star Wars? Never heard of it
One day I am going to have children, and I will read to them every night. I will read to them all the greatest stories ever told: King Arthur, Robin Hood, the Wizard of Oz. I'll read stories about knights, cowboys, sorcery and love. And I will read Star Wars. The original trilogy first, then the prequels, then all the other books written about that faraway galaxy. And here's where it gets interesting: I'll read Star Wars to my children when they are 4 or 5...but I won't let them watch the movies until they are thirteen. Then I will ask them if the films were anything at all like how they imagined the stories, and if they say yes, then Star Wars must truly be the greatest movie ever made.
That's all it is really. It's a fairy tale for the modern age. I'm sure plenty of people have said that before, but it's true. It has everything a fairy tale should have: strong but unlikely heroes, evil bad guys, magic, romance, swordfighting, chases, suspense, treachery, and Jawas. It should be listed among the great stories of history; in fact, it's only flaw is that it's a movie: you can see and hear it, so it takes a lot away from your imagination. There are no King Arthur movies (at least no really great or popular ones) so you can picture Arthur and Launcelot any way you wish, but Han Solo will always be Harrison Ford, and vice versa.
But as a movie, it becomes the greatest story ever told on film, especially when you add in all the sequels that enrich the original film so much. My favorite shot in Star Wars is in the beginning when you first see Darth Vader as he boards Leia's ship and steps over fallen rebels and stormtroopers. After watching the whole trilogy over and over again all my life, that shot is incredible: the first time you see it, Vader looks cold and ruthless, as though he were born and bred for evil. But put it in context with the rest of the story, and you remember that Vader is not really the bad guy, he was once a bright-eyed young boy, he would become a father and a hero but become seduced and made a pawn of the true evil.
Lucas is neither a genius nor a god. But he created a world for us that no one had ever seen before except in our hearts and imaginations. What Star Wars is, really, is the closest any movie has ever come to showing pure Imagination. I think my kids are gonna love it.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Amazing...too amazing
Me and a couple of friends rented A Space Odyssey in the spring of 2000 and watched it for the first time. As Gen-Yers we'd been raised to believe that science fiction and action go hand in hand. They hated this movie; to them it was terribly boring and meaningless. I looked a bit deeper and I think I understood what Clarke and Kubrick were trying to say: that humanity as a whole is only just beginning to crawl out of its infancy; that to understand the nature of the Universe we must first learn to understand ourselves; and perhaps the most important lesson of all - supercomputers can read lips. This certainly is not a conventional movie. It is a grand experiment to show how much can be said through vision. If a picture is worth a thousand words, 2001 is worth a googolplex. That's what makes this movie a classic. All the images that aren't tainted by our primitive language but speak on a much higher level: the ancient monolith on Earth, the circular interior of the ship, the Star Child...these images don't need voice-overs or explanations or subtitles; there are no words to adequately describe them. The only language we have that even comes close to describing this film is Music. 2001 has plenty of music, great music, lots of astonishing images, and virtually no dialogue. It doesn't tell you what it is about...it makes you figure it out for yourself. That's why this is among the greatest films ever made.