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Reviews
An Idiot Abroad (2010)
Funny, original, and the story of a man's journey outside his comfort zone
Karl Pilkington is Britain's everyman. He loves what he's used to, and that's all he knows. Before Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant sent him on his own personal odyssey he'd only ever been to Wales. By his own admission he pays his way in life, has a steady girlfriend and is as happy as a man with a perpetually glum expression can be.
Gervais and Merchant thought it would be fun to send him around the world to see the Seven Wonders; Merchant, because he thought it would be enlightening for Karl, and Gervais because he knew Karl would hate it. The result is An Idiot Abroad, first broadcast on Sky 1 and Sky 1 HD in the UK. The pilot episode saw Ricky and Stephen sending Karl to China to experience the Great Wall, which Karl likened to a 'Wimpey home' due to its modernisation in the 80's, and the M6 motorway because it stretches for miles. The politically correct would probably berate Karl for his honest points of view, but all of it is done with no malice or vindictiveness - purely his own opinion stated with innocence and somewhat childlike wonder.
Karl puts into words what we all think when we go abroad - for example, public toilets in China have no doors and no toilet rolls. As a Brit abroad, this would also perplex me. One particularly hilarious scene in the pilot showed Pilkington watching a Kung Fu master throwing a needle through a pane of glass and popping a balloon. Karl tried this, and ended up skewering his cameraman in the arm (said cameraman carried on filming like a true pro!)
I found myself laughing hysterically at Karl's misadventures, and look forward to more of the same. It's probably the most original travel documentary I've ever seen. None of it is contrived or feels forced, unlike some of Gervais's previous work, but for me this was great entertainment and good value for my Sky subscription. Roll on episode 2!
Dead Rising (2006)
VERY disappointing
I bought this game today after all the hype and all the recommendations. Having just signed up to XBox Live I was looking forward not only to going through the game and having a lot of fun butchering the undead, but also to some great multiplayer action online.
The beginning is very long and drawn out, with the player given the gripping assignment of taking photographs as his first task. After a long, boring and frankly pointless introduction I found myself inside the mall, and after battling a few zombies I lost a life. I expected, as you do, to retry the mission but unfortunately the game took me right back to the beginning and I had to start all over again from scratch. I rebooted my 360 and tried to load up the game and was taken right back to the beginning once again where, of course, the player is forced to do the same old boring thing he's been doing all afternoon.
I eventually got to the stage where I had to help one of the humans in the mall avoid a mad gunman, but I found the targeting system incomprehensible. I found it impossible to set my sights on the gunman and shoot at him and, predictably, for my trouble I was shot into tiny pieces.
To cut a very long story short, this is the biggest waste of £50 I've ever spent in my entire life. NO multiplayer option to start with. The perpetual "go right back to the beginning and do it again" problem makes this a turn-off for me. I won't be playing it again. In fact, in the morning I'm taking it back to Blockbuster and trading it in for a game that is more user-friendly and doesn't make you go through the same monotonous process every time you lose a life or try to pick up where you left off.
I know, I know. I haven't gone through the whole game and experience the so-called wonderful gameplay that everybody gushes about, but frankly I don't have any desire to. A major disappointment and I truly wonder why the programmers bothered to put a useless piece of trash like this game on the market.
Regrettably, IMDb does not provide the function for its users to give a mark of zero, otherwise I would have done so. A mark of one is much too generous for this waste of time, effort and money.
Avoid. Please.
Madman (1981)
Pale and pointless alsoran
I first saw Madman in the mid eighties, not long after it appeared on video. At the time it was extremely fashionable to enjoy slasher movies, and the gorier the better. Back then I really enjoyed this movie, but after watching it again recently I was amazed to find how much it sucked.
The problem is, it's all been done before and by better filmmakers. The original Halloween was the granddaddy of them all and in my own humble opinion, the best slasher movie ever (and that includes Friday the 13th I, II, III etc etc). Madman is the same formula but with none of the charisma or suspense of any of the films I've previously mentioned.
Madman Marz is a Jason Voorhees-type character that you don't actually see until the end, and when you do, you think to yourself "Huh?". The script seems to have been written by a lobotomised amoeba and the direction is formulaic and predictable.
Avoid at all costs. 1/2 out of 5.
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)
So so...
The original Smokey and the Bandit is a classic, and it introduced us to one of Jackie Gleason's funniest incarnations, Sheriff Buford T. Justice. I've always been of the ilk that tries not to judge sequels on the originals, but in the case of Smokey and the Bandit II it's impossible.
The plot is essentially the same as the first film, with the more politically-correct elephant replacing 400 cases of good ol' Coors, and for a higher stake - $320,000 more than their original run to Texarkana. While Reynolds, Field, Reed et al are entertaining and do the best with a mediocre repeat of the original plot, the true star here is Gleason. Particularly memorable is the scene where Justice and Junior stop for a toilet break and Junior announces after paying a visit, that his zipper is stuck. What happens next is hilarious, and I won't spoil it.
I agree with one of the other reviews in that the original premise of the characters as defined in the original was completely ignored in this sequel, but maybe this was done on purpose. Maybe the writers felt they were giving the characters more depth. This is the downfall of the movie, that and the script...especially the inclusion of brothers Reggie and Gaylord Justice.
Having said that, it's not completely awful. The saving graces are Gleason, Dom DeLuise as the leading gynaecologist (or gornocolagalist as he pronounces it) in Pompeii (population 23) on a sabbatical to the Deep South, and Mike Henry as the long suffering and equally very dim Justice Junior. The latters' performance, while certainly not Shakespeare material, is exactly what is called for - bewildered and confused.
Everyone who was anyone in the country music industry contributed to the soundtrack, including Jerry Reed once again recording the film's theme (a virtual carbon copy of East/West Bound and Down). Brenda Lee and Don Williams make cameos, as do Burt's buddies Joe Klecko, Terry Bradshaw and Messrs Dudley Remus and Hal Carter.
All in all, disappointing and disowned by hardcore fans of the original, but definitely worth a look for Gleason's contributions. They are what keeps the film going when the rest of it is bogged down and turned into a melodrama of sorts, rather than sticking with the winning formula that made the original such a smash and a classic. Beware though, it's nearly destroyed towards the end with the inclusion of his "twin brothers", but that isn't Gleason's fault - blame the scriptwriters and director. Mixed feelings on this one, guys and gals...
Magnolia (1999)
The Human Condition Beautifully Brought To Life
Magnolia is one of those films that you simply adore or despise. There is no in between, and to answer the detractors that protest about the length of this film (3 hours, 6 minutes), the only reply I can give is that sometimes it takes a while to tell a good and solid story, which Magnolia is.
The movie takes place over one day in California, telling the stories of nine individuals over the course of that day. The stories slowly interweave into one linear, understandable tale and the performances, particularly Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Tom Cruise (in probably his best role to date, against type as a testosterone-pumped self help guru) are consummate and superlative. I won't reveal any plot details because it would truly spoil the joy of becoming drawn in to this tale.
What makes this movie stand out from its contemporaries, in my humble opinion, is the soundtrack. Aimee Mann's songs not only punctuate the plot but they have a life of their own and in songs such as "Wise Up" and "Save Me", the honesty of both the story and the music become apparent.
The final nod must go to Paul Thomas Anderson, who wrote and directed Magnolia. Where Boogie Nights was more of a modern American fable, Magnolia is realistic and deals with everyday emotions and situations that we all go through and Anderson handles the subject matter with sensitivity and care.
All in all, if like me you are able to completely lose yourself in an engaging and enjoyable story, then this movie is highly recommended. 9 out of 10.
Love, Honour and Obey (2000)
Love, Honour and Enjoy!
A quick message to Ray Burdis and Dominic Anciano - Ignore the negative comments on here about Love, Honour And Obey. The people who've written them may be lacking in a sense of humour. We can tell that you all had an enormous laugh making this film, and what makes it work is that you made us laugh with you. Not only is it hilariously presented, it has an excellent story and I loved the revivals of Avenues and Alleyways & Fireball XL5!
All I can say is thank you for treating me to an hour and a half of quality British cinema :-)
Hard Men (1996)
A classic example of excellent British filmmaking
One of the reviewers on the Imdb page was right...you will either love this film or hate it. I loved it.
J K Amalou's directorial debut is a very underrated piece of filmmaking. He pays homage to various similar films of the same genre, and delivers a thought provoking, funny and dark film that, for me, gives hope to the future of British cinema. The main character is Tone, who wants to leave "the life" for domestic tranquility after 15 years of cracking heads and busting jaws for Pops Den, the underworld boss who is "past it". Along for the ride are his two colleagues and friends, Bear and Speed (the latter brilliantly played by the versatile Lee Ross).
Of course, the powers that be decide that Tone should be killed, and it's up to Bear and Speed to do it. As proof, Pops Den wants Tone's severed hand on his desk by 9am the following morning. And so, we are taken on a whirlwind of a night through East London with the boys struggling against their moral consciences, while Tone looks forward to a life with his girlfriend and new baby.
There are pieces of genius in this movie. There is a memorable scene in a brothel where a disillusioned twenty year old prostitute tells her life story with violent consequences, and one can't help but be touched when, in front of his macho colleagues, Tone sings a gentle lullaby to his baby daughter over his mobile phone.
All in all, Hard Men was overlooked and ignored by the British filmgoing public. This is a shame because, while not in the same class as The Long Good Friday, it definitely gives the likes of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels a good run for its money.